Rationale’s Resurgence (or In Which We Witness the Return of the Pie)

by LordBarcha

Mission 3: The Truth Shall Set You Free

A/N: This chapter takes place in one of my favorite fanfictions. (Top five at least!) As is the new standard, you only need to read chapter 1 to get the details.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1886/The-Immortal-Game

Also, I like mechas. This is me getting the entire over the top battle out of the way before I explode. I do that sometimes. It’s a result of the 4W3SUM2. Think really bad cold. Now set it on fire. It’s about ten times worse than that.

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“Welcome back, Pinkie”

“I see that you survived somehow.”

“What’s the mission this time?” Pinkie asked flatly.

“Violet.”

“Do you remember the discussion we had on Taint a few days ago?”

“Yes. Something about it being a threat to other universes?”

“Almost accurate. Taint is a byproduct of the use of Creation. When an author creates something that never existed before, he usurps cause and effect, producing Taint. When the level of Taint in a universe becomes too high, it begins to gather itself inside of a body. The body possessed by this is usually referred to as ‘The Perfect Being’. The Perfection is literally Taint embodied, which is basically Creation out of control. Once the being achieves full sentience, it begins to remake its world in its own image, eventually expanding to consume other undamaged universes.”

“So you want us to fix another universe that’s about to go on a Taint overflow?”

“No. Your next mission is to fix a universe where the Taint has already gathered into a body.”

“The author created too much, and while the creation is beautiful, and the power well used, the Taint is unavoidable. It is in the process of consuming the entire universe.”

“One last question,” Pinkie announced, “The first time we did this, when we finally succeeded, a strange chimera of sorts appeared and tried to kill us. The second time, we thought it had happened again, but it turned out to just be” Pinkie shuddered violently, “the offspring of Chrysalis and Luna.”

“It’s quite simple, really. The first time, you prevented the course of events of the author’s tale and called forth an embodiment of the creation that never was. The second time, you prevented a specific crime, but did not change the timeline.”

“Now be off. I can’t wait to see how you handle this one. The way I see it, either you’re going to get brutally murdered, or you’ll have to kill somebody else.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stepping into the TARDIS, Pinkie found only Vinyl looking bored.

“Where are the other two?” she asked.

“The Doctor was doing something silly, so Lyra dragged him off into the other room. For a while, I could hear banging and shouting, but it’s been oddly silent for a while.”

“Then what are we waiting for? We have to get him out of there before she injures him too badly to participate in the mission!” Pinkie cried, “There has to be a mecha hidden around here somewhere. We can use it to break down the door.

“Why don’t we just use my bass cannon?” Vinyl asked, pushing a button.

Instantly, the doors were blown off their hinges, revealing the pair kissing. Vinyl quickly scribbled something on a sheet of paper, then held it up for Pinkie to read, “The volume is enough to completely destroy your eardrums in less than a second. They didn’t hear a thing, and won’t for a few weeks. Neither will we, for that matter.”

The sound of Pinkie’s hoof striking her forehead was loud enough to be audible, despite the newfound deafness of the crew.

Glancing up, Lyra noticed Pinkie and Vinyl lying on the floor, laughing their heads off.

*SCENE BREAK*

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“What did you just do?”

“I just stuck in a scene break, thereby obscuring exactly how or when we recovered. As humorous as finding out a secret relationship in our group, while everyone is deaf is, it was getting too long and awkward.” Pinkie answered cheerfully, “For the record, I think you two make a very nice couple, if an unexpected one.”

“What’s our mission this time, Pinkie?” The Doctor asked sheepishly, trying to change the subject.

“It’s simple. We kill the flat man.” Pinkie replied.

“That doesn’t really tell us much.” Lyra answered.

“Basically, Celestia and Luna’s parents come back. They corrupt Twilight into something monstrous, and things eventually culminate in a series of escalating conflicts. We’re going to stop it by taking out the big bad. He’s the only real threat. The other villain is almost exactly the same level as Celestia, so she should be easily dealt with. We’ll cut in just before Titan finishes Celestia and deal with him there.”

“I’ll set up the Dimension Gate, Pinkie, you should go ahead.” Lyra stated, sitting in a distinctly human position in front of a set of controls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Titan raised his blade in triumph, preparing to bring it down on Celestia, when a voice spoke from behind him, “Nicely done, Order, but you’ll find that there are greater forces at work here.”

He spun to face the voice, demanding, “How do you know my name?”

A flat, ruined expanse greeted him. A voice emerged from below, as if Celestia had spoken, “Silly Order, I read the script.”

Spinning again, Titan looked down at the broken body of Celestia, only to find nothing. “You are using some trickery to try and escape me. It is futile.”

Something rested itself on his back, “Nope.” came the voice, “My colleagues have already removed her, Order.”

“Stop calling me that,” Titan commanded, his sword slashing at the air above him.

The voice came again, whispering in his ear, “How do you plan on making me? Quite frankly, the look on your face is priceless, Order.”

“You have learned to disguise your magical power. No matter, it will not save you.”

Pinkie appeared in front of his face and gently booped him on the nose, “I’m not hiding my power. There’s not much to sense, silly.”

A white and gold suit, slightly larger than Pinkie dropped from the sky next to her. The cockpit opened and The Doctor’s head poked out, “Look at what I made! I call it the Celestial Monarch!”

“Why call it that?” Pinkie asked, nimbly dodging Titan’s swings, even and especially the impossible to dodge ones.

“Because I made it out of Celestia, obviously.”

“Do you mean to tell me that you wasted a perfectly good Celestia on a powered armor?”

“I wouldn’t call it a WaaaaAAHHH!” The Doctor shouted as Lyra dragged him away by the ear. “Where did you even come from?” he demanded through his tears.

“Your worst nightmare,”

Titan silently cast a bolt of magic, creating a massive explosion which clipped the dodging Pinkie and sent her flying into a wall.

“Why so serious?” she asked, grinning.

“Are you some minion of Discord, perhaps? This would explain the teleportation.”

“It’s pretty simple really. As long as I’m not observed, I could be theoretically anywhere. As long as you can’t see me, I’m everywhere you’re not looking.”

Pinkie dropped a flash grenade and disappeared. “As much as you try to impose order, Order, chaos always wins,” she shouted from behind him.

“No.” Titan stated, turning to face Pinkie.

“That’s weird,” Pinkie said, slipping past Titan’s attacks, “Usually I teleport when somebody tries to look at me. Oh well. I think everybody else is ready by now.”

Vinyl suddenly dropped from the sky, shouting, “It’s Morphin’ Time!”

“No!” shouted Lyra, “We are not doing that. We were going to do something from G Gundam.”

“I thought it was going to be a Gurren Lagann style battle!” The Doctor argued.

“Just pick one!” Pinkie called, still taunting Titan.

“Pony Rangers!”

“Gundam!”

“Gurren Lagann!”

“Why not all three?” Pinkie suggested.

“Alright then! We need Zord power!” Vinyl shouted, posing dramatically. From behind her, A massive set of speakers appeared and transformed into a form roughly resembling something humanoid.

“Rise, Shining Gundam!” Lyra shouted, snapping her fingers. The towering white mecha burst from nowhere, scooping her into the cockpit.

The Doctor pulled a small drill from inside his golden suit, shouting, “My drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens!” Grinning, he slammed the drill into his powered armor, which promptly grew several stories taller.

Pinkie springboarded off a nonplussed Titan’s sword, and leapt into the air, over the three mechas. “Don’t you get it, Titan? Your lack of emotion makes you weak! You insist on enforcing rules, when the rules don’t even matter!” As she continued her hot-blooded speech, the mechas floated up around her, drawing closer by the second. WIth a flash of light, they fused into one massive machine.

“Crossing genres and universes! The very earth bows before its glory! Tengen Toppa Gundam MegaZord!”

Without warning, the mammoth machine crumbled, cleanly cut into several hundred pieces, its pilots scattered across the broken palace.

Titan instantly stood over the fallen Lyra, sword raised to strike. “Cease your struggles,” He intoned flatly. Bringing his sword down, he found The Doctor waiting for him.

Wincing, he pushed the blade aside. Drips of blood dribbled from a long gash in his foreleg. “Don’t you dare touch my friend,” he whispered, his voice slowly increasing in volume. “You might have enough power to erase life from this earth, but you’re all alone. You make up rules and try to bind others to them.” The blood slowly rose into the air, surrounding his upraised foreleg, forming a spiral pattern. “But this drill is my resolve, the resolve to destroy you and save this world from extinction.” Throwing himself forward, he struck Titan, and with a flash of green light, the world went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yes! That was awesome!”

“I'm worried now. If Titan nearly killed them, the Taint embodiment will be even worse. Keep your thumb on that trigger, Yellow.”

“But he’ll fire it off too early!”

“That’s the idea. Last time, you almost waited too long.”

“I was in the bathroom!”

“We don’t have a bathroom.”

“I had to sneak into the TARDIS.”

After a moment of silence, Green spoke again, “You know, I just realized something.”

“What is it now, Green?”

“Did you know that Titan is actually an anagram of Taint?”

“That’s actually a really strange coincidence.”

“Yeah. I’d almost think there was something intentional there”

A/N: It was an actual coincidence I noticed when editing.

“Stop being intrusive! Get back into your box!”

A/N: All right! All right! I’m going now.

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From Titan’s broken form, swirls of shimmering color burst forth. They spread slowly, first to the stones. Then in the distance, Terra’s form was engulfed in radiance Finally, a great column of light burst forth from the Everfree Forest. Flesh gently knitted itself together at the center of the light, growing slowly in size.

Three heads, one black, one green, and one a grotesquely deformed purple, rose on long sinuous necks, hissing. The body itself had one too many legs, and some strange blend of two tails, one a flat violet, the other an ethereal trail of light. Vinyl promptly lost her lunch.

Lyra leapt to her feet, guns appearing in her mechanical hands and opened fire. Roaring, the purple head launched itself at her, baring newly grown fangs.

“This is the embodiment of the future we prevented!” Pinkie shouted, “We have to destroy it!”

Leaping onto the monstrosity’s head, Lyra whipped out a machine gun and ran down the things neck, never letting go of the trigger. A bolt of magic from the green head barely missed her, striking the ground with enough force to create a crater ten feet across.

Vinyl hefted a sword in her mouth and swung it, unleashing a wave of sound, which was blocked by the black head.

“Nothing we’re doing has any effect!” Lyra cried, pouring still more lead into her problem.

“Let me handle this!” Doctor Whooves cried, launching himself at the monster. Ducking under another bolt of magic, he slid underneath the behemoth and struck it with a flash of green.

As he continued his frenzy of blows, the purple head slithered underneath and lifted his still swinging form.

From nowhere, Pinkie began battering the thing, forcing it to release The Doctor, but did about as much damage as a fly to a windshield.

Hissing and roaring, the chimera grew still larger, sprouting horns, legs, and still more heads. Rising slowly into the air, a single wing unfurled from its twisted form. No longer even appearing equine, or for that matter, anything remotely related to the animal kingdom, it launched a razor sharp lance of something organic at Lyra, only to have it blocked by Doctor Whooves.

“You’ll only touch her over my dead body!” he cried, burning with green fire. The Doctor cried out as ten more lances struck him, and he crumpled to the ground.

“No,” whispered Pinkie, “This can’t be possible.”

With a screech, Vinyl parried the next wave of spines with her sword, supported by Lyra’s suppressive fire. However, for every one they deflected or destroyed, ten more rose.

Pinkie’s face darkened, her mane flattening.

One of the many heads launched a bolt of magic, shattering Vinyl’s sword and sending her flying into one of the few walls still standing. Scooping up The Doctor, Lyra threw him in the direction of Vinyl’s crumpled body and leapt in front of the pair, guns blazing. Suddenly, her pistol let out a sharp “click” and the attacks of the chimera converged on her unimpeded.

“No,” Pinkamena stated flatly. She stood in the path of the lances, eyes open but blank. Drips of opaque white slid down the side of her face and slowly etched holes into the ground where they fell.

Waving a foreleg, a wave of white crashed over the beast, erasing the lances and curling up toward its body. The monstrosity cried out as and struggled for a moment, only to find itself devoured faster. As it faded completely, something resembling gratitude crossed the beast’s many faces. Then it was gone.

“Let’s go,” Pinkie whispered, “We’re done here.”

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A/N: And that was my entire love of over the top action scenes put into words. I thank ambion for helping me write Titan. I also thank LL once again for proofing the thing.