Luna watched the knife as it spun in the air. It would be so easy to knock it away. But she couldn't. Not when four horns pointed at her, waiting for her answer.
TW: mentions of rape (not explicitly shown but the aftermath is.)
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 14th Jul, 2019
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
Hupla222
A woman who posts sometimes I guess. FlutterCord, TwiBurst, and RariPie are peak
Hupla222
Joined 14th Jul, 2019 ·
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So.... No context for the ending?
That's it?
A very good dive into dark and often unrepresented subject matter. The ending was obvious throughout the whole story, but I believe that was intentional - it certainly didn't detract from the story for me.
I think this story could benefit from an extra 500-1000 words, to make those feelings really hit home - but that's a good complaint to have, I think.
Good work :)
11854139
What do you mean by no context. I'm just curious.
I think this story has potential for a sequel in which we are introduced to dilemmas related to ethics from different contemporary perspectives.
Rape is bad, we all know that, but 1000 years ago? It was a common practice, not well seen, but it happened daily by all kinds of people, from bandits to the most decorated nobles.
Maybe Luna genuinely didn't know she was doing something wrong because no one thought it was necessary to explain to her.
11854216
This. Exactly
11854215
I mean it doesn't explain what happened in the ending,
For an example who was sobbing, why was there movement across the table, and who was moving? And who fired a blast? And why did Luna hit the floor? There's no context as to what happened, it leaves alot of unanswered questions.
11854221
In order Night Light was sobbing and he dropped the knife because he was holding it. Everyone except Celestia was on the other side of the table. They moved on instinct after it was confirmed to them what happened. Up for interpretation who shot the blast. Luna was struck by the blast and was knocked out. Hope this helps.
11854223
Thank you.
I have to say that the atmosphere of this story doesn't strike me as a tragedy fic. I'm not trying to belittle what happened to Night Light but the way it was executed didn't give me tragedy vibes. Night Light was going through the motions of being a rape victim but for that to happen off camera denied us the sensation of sympathizing with what he felt. His family members were frustrated because he wouldn't talk about it.
If tragedy was what you were aiming for, I could think of a few things that could have made it feel more like that such as the actual rape scene and exploring the victim's feelings about the matter or a successful suicide attempt or the victim murdering his offender.
As for Luna, she really ruined the tragedy vibe by being an idiot. That stupid comment she made toward the end and her insisting that she didn't need a partner during a heat season was made out of sheer ignorance and she ended up digging her own grave, though not in the darkest sense of the expression. That blast she received in the end was nothing more than the hammer of justice being dropped on her while I'm sure the Sparkle family will probably press charges against her. It was Luna's defense and the resulting retribution that gave me less tragedy vibes and more dark comedy vibes.
11854319
From my point of view, from what I have read from the author in the comments, including the response he gave me, I think he did not want to make such a simple story of good guys vs bad guys, but rather present us with a dilemma.
Playing the rape scene, no matter how it is presented to us, would compromise our ability to see Luna in an impartial way to a permanent negative, in that case there is no longer a dilemma because we have the answer to the problem from the beginning.
I recommend you read the other comments.
11854319
11854916
I have to agree that this plays off more as a comedy if dark more than a serious thing. It seems like the four ponies are playing the strong man and Luna is the slapstick comedy. Definitely the blast that hit her. Mix with Luna's confused on why what happened was wrong. You pretty much figured out what happened after nightlife walked into the room so not having the axle tragic point. Seems odd. Choice if you're going to play around with the aftermath. On top of that you would think Luna would be in the courtroom not this sitting around in the castle. If this was supposed to be serious I can tell but it comes off as more dark comedy it's comes off. And it's kind of bad. I have to read the comments to figure out the offer was being serious.