"It Is All Hell"

by It Is All Hell

[Bonus comedy story for 1k words, LOL]

Rarity had no patience, none whatsoever, for such things. While, yes, It Is All Hell often found himself on the receiving end of affection from her, this... she... could... not... tolerant! But what was this crime that Hell committed against Rarity? Well, he had decided to write fan fiction about her - but refused to include dialogue.

Rarity, who was trained in the art of overreacting to things that would not even be remembered in however many hours, saw the couch and knew what was required of her. Purposefully advancing toward the piece of furniture, she violently thrust it aside, then violently kicked the pile of pillows behind the couch aside, then violently flipped the table behind the pillows, then collapsed onto the bed that was now accessible. Having done all this, Rarity initiated the next phase of her meltdown, which was to use sigh language to convey the level of her disappointment to It Is All Hell.

Truly a Master of sigh language, Rarity informed Hell that he was garbage for being an Australian, that she was going to confiscate his eyeliner, and that ROBCakeran53 wrote My Little Dashie. Hell, however, was unmoved - he was sitting at his dusty desk, and once Rarity realised that she should probably breathe, the author of this very story seized the opportunity to respond. Also skilled in sigh language, Hell expressed to Rarity that she expected too much of him. After all, he had no interest in participating in Fimfiction contests, let alone ones restricted to dialogue - and besides, Hell was too busy with trying to figure out whether he was now bisexual, having heard PaulAsaran's adorable voice on the Barcast.

As her answer to this, Rarity motioned for her stunt double, the underground music legend that was Jonathan Canady, to destroy It Is All Hell's laptop. Instead, he used the laptop to announce that his music hiatus was over, gave Hell a look that was clearly supposed to communicate that he considered the word "brony" to be disgusting, then teleported himself into a superior fan fiction. This was quite upsetting to It Is All Hell - not the "superior fan fiction" part, but that there had not been time to agree that he had always wished the word "brony" would be replaced with something less grimy-sounding.

Rarity, at this point, understood that her back was up against a Walmart, so she reluctantly took matters into her own hooves. Leaving the bed (which merely exacerbated its preexisting abandonment issues), the pony shrieked in a defiant and I-drink-tea-for-a-living manner, then charged at It Is All Hell. Hell, however, was unmoved - he was still sitting at his dusty desk, so Rarity missed him by rather a large margin and wound up falling off the cliff behind the desk. This was quite upsetting to It Is All Hell - not the part where Rarity died, but that her failure had reminded him of one of his own. Hell once had a verbal exchange related to sex and geometry, but it was long after it was over that he came up with "erectangle dysfunction." God, I'm so not over that...

Comments

[PresentPerfect]

blink twice if you are still in danger

[It Is All Hell]

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i.discogs.com/cIc2ltSr0jtvo2XsGmSHiItFUPjwij7_1fs8eJXZDII/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:396/w:400/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTEzMDgz/NzYtMTIxMDY4Mzg4/NS5qcGVn.jpeg

[Pascoite]

I don’t know whether this will make me an object of your hate, but Paul stayed at my house for 3 days during the last Bronycon.

[It Is All Hell]

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First of all, you mentioned this in his interview's comments, so it's old news. And second, you and I are tying, because "Mr. Tired Luna" is the ultimate PaulAsaran nickname - and last I checked, you didn't come up with that shit. 🙂

Regarding your PM question: I delete, but it has nothing to do with comments (until I made the first Hell story replacement, I'd either forgotten or never realised that deleting chapters deletes comments...). And maybe I shouldn't have asked you to read my new stories, LOL - because you're about to tell me my old stories were better, aren't you?

[Pascoite]

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Maybe old news, but you still might hate me for it.

[It Is All Hell]

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Motherfucker, are you stalling??? But for the record, I don't hate you for kidnapping Mr. Tired Luna - I mean, I can't say I'd do the same, but abduction's certainly an understandable response to him. 🙂