Chapter 5
Celestia ran her fingers through her hair. Most of it had been hacked off and stained yellow.
“You look good, especially with the contacts in,” said Josh. He smiled but his eyes still looked sad as he gazed at Alice. He got up from his chair in the waiting area and took out his wallet, removing a card. Celestia watched the teller swipe the card through a machine and give it back to him.
The two of them exited the salon. Josh saw her looking at the card as he put it back. He explained, “It’s an electronic payment system. The card has my information on it so they can send me the bill.”
“Alice would probably mind if I spent her money,” Celestia mused.
“Well, when we get back aboard Reagan, everything you need should be paid for.” Josh shook his head. “I still can’t believe I’m trying to sneak an alien aboard a US Navy ship.”
“Tell me about it,” asked Celestia. Josh nodded and said nothing. She prompted, “Well?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry, I thought you meant ‘tell me about it’ as if you were agreeing.”
It seemed like a strange turn of phrase to use for agreement. Celestia resolved to be more careful of what she said.
Josh went on. “The United States has ten other carriers. They each house about ninety aircraft and weapons for them to use. Alice and I work in the on-board medical facilities, which also includes an eighty-bed hospital.”
“Logically, I would think that something called an aircraft is used for flying,” said Celestia. “But why place them on a ship? Can they not fly to where they are needed?”
Josh shrugged. “Well, it’s still a big planet. By sailing closer to the action, we can respond quicker. That’s why the carrier has to be so big and have so many people. It’s basically a military base that moves. It needs everything you’d find on a regular base, including dentists like Alice and I.”
“I’m still not sure posing as her is a good idea.” Celestia shook her head. “I don’t know anything about dentistry, and I certainly don’t know how to be a part of your military.”
“Would you rather pretend to be Alice and claim to have memory problems, or wind up on the run or in jail for being away without leave?”
Celestia sighed. “All right. I’ll join the Navy.”
Josh smiled. “In the Navy, you can sail the seven seas. In the Navy, you can put your mind at ease.”
“Wait, you have seven seas?” said Celestia. Josh sighed as if she had just ruined some private joke.
“That’s right,” he said. “How many were you expecting?”
“ ‘Seven seas’ is a familiar phrase to me. I’ve noticed many similarities between our worlds, so many that it seems beyond simple coincidence.”
Josh considered that. “Despite being from a different planet, there are a lot of things you’ve mentioned that sounded like something from Earth.”
“I think it’s worth discussing,” said Celestia.
“I don’t know where to begin.”
Celestia glanced out the window. “Can we take a walk?”
“I don’t think that would hurt anything.” Josh smiled suddenly. “Actually, I have tickets to the aquarium. Alice and I were planning on going…” Just as suddenly as it had come, the happy look was gone from his face.
Celestia gently touched his arm. “I’d like that.”
“I need to go back to the room to get them.” Josh led her upstairs again. He spent a few minutes searching through his luggage. Celestia looked at the lamp he had turned on, quickly glancing away because the glare was painful to her eyes. She put a hand near the glowing bulb, feeling the warmth. She realized that the continuous flow of heat was a much better source of energy than drawing it from coffee.
If that was good, what if she could get the same thing from the wall outlet? That would bypass light and lost heat. Celestia knelt, spotting a paperclip on the nightstand. She shoved it into the socket.
Power quite unlike any Celestia had ever felt flowed through her fingers. She gasped in surprise at the intensity and blue sparks flew.
Josh glanced up worriedly. “Did it shock you? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” This was very interesting. The paperclip had a burn mark on it, and Celestia thought that the sparks she’d seen were an indication that the outlet hadn’t been intended for what she had done. The electricity didn’t hurt, at least not much, but she suspected that perhaps it might have injured a normal human. At least she had gained a modest boost of energy.
Josh came over with two tickets in his hand, spotting the blackened paper clip. “Why did you do that?”
“It was an experiment.” Testing her magic, Celestia levitated the paperclip from the floor back to where she’d found it.
Josh stared in amazement for a moment and then shook his head. “Well, I hope you learned something.”
Celestia had. She thought perhaps that there was a better way of using electricity, however. The light bulb looked like it screwed out. Putting her finger in the socket could be a good way to avoid the sparks.
She went with Josh down the elevator and outside into the sunshine. Celestia thought that longer hair might have taken better advantage of it, but she could still feel the warmth. She resolved to spend as much time as possible basking in it. She trusted solar power.
Josh handed Celestia her ticket to the aquarium. She looked at it, doing her best to pronounce Waikiki. “Where did such a strange name come from?”
“Hawaii used to be its own country. They had their own language before they had ours,” explained Josh.
That still did not explain why Celestia was able to speak English, but both of them had talked it over and decided that particular mystery was of small importance compared to issues related to her learning to function as a human.
“So how is Hawaii now part of the United States? Was it conquered?” she asked.
Josh shrugged. “Not with weapons, anyway. It was annexed and then became a state.”
Celestia thought for a moment. “I know you explained the concept of states before, but how do they fit together to form the whole nation?”
“Each state elects a number of congressmen based on population, as well as two senators. The congressmen and senators from every state combine together to form two houses, the congress and senate. Between the two of them, they form the legislative branch of the government. It’s their job to make the laws.
“That’s only one branch, however. The executive branch is comprised of the President and others. It’s their job to enforce the laws and to oversee the running of the country and the military.
“The last part is the judicial branch. They make sure the laws are in line with the country’s constitution. With three branches that have limited power, none can override the others.”
“That sounds terribly complicated,” observed Celestia.
Josh laughed. “Yeah, and that’s the simplified version. It is complicated, and that unfortunately leaves a lot of room for things like corruption to slip through the cracks.”
“You don’t trust your government,” stated Celestia. “Wouldn’t it be better if all the decisions were easily made by just a responsible few?”
Josh gave her a look as if she’d insulted him. “No offense Princess, I’m sure you’re a good ruler, but who is supposed to stop those few if they’re doing something wrong? Furthermore, who decides what is wrong? The United States was born because we thought government should be for the citizens by the citizens. It’s not a perfect system, but I believe strongly that it’s better than autocracy.”
Celestia quickly changed the subject. She hoped that talking about the government wouldn’t lead to arguments with all humans. “Tell me more about the island of Hawaii.”
Josh relaxed, clearly pleased to be discussing something else. “It’s actually an archipelago of islands. We’re on one of the larger ones, Oahu. The area has a very mild climate; the temperature doesn’t vary much. It’s also located close to the center of the Pacific Ocean, so it’s a good place to have a military force stationed, like the Pearl Harbor Navy Base.”
Celestia remembered the map of the world he’d shown her. While she let her admirals and generals handle the military, that didn’t mean she knew nothing of strategic positioning. “Is the carrier on its way to anywhere specific?”
“We’re just going to sail around Asia for a while. A country called North Korea is being a little more annoying than usual, and we’re probably going to remind them we’re out there.”
Celestia looked around at the crowded street. “Surely all these people aren’t part of the military?”
“No, there’s a lot of tourism in Hawaii. Due to the nice climate and some good scenery, a lot of people vacation here.”
A vehicle passed by. It was much sleeker than any carriage, and Celestia could see a person inside driving it. It made her think about the ship. “Josh, how does the carrier move? I didn’t see any sails on it.”
He thought for a moment, probably trying to condense a complicated explanation. “It has two nuclear reactors. They work by transforming matter into energy, which is used to heat water into steam that drives turbines to produce electricity for powering things as well as mechanical propulsion to move the ship.”
She sighed. “Can’t you humans do anything simply?”
When Alice had a break, she went to speak to Colgate. “I need to visit Canterlot.”
The blue unicorn nodded. “You haven’t asked for any time off while you’ve worked here. I don’t have a problem with it. Speaking of Canterlot, I heard a rumor that Princess Celestia is back.”
“That’s why I need to go,” explained Alice.
Colgate raised an eyebrow. “When I first met you, you told me a few crazy things that I assumed were caused by the aftereffects of Discord. I did my best to forget them—because they were crazy—but I get the feeling you’re about to say something similar.”
Alice sighed. “I need to find Celestia and figure out if Discord swapped us into each others’ worlds. If that is what happened and she’s back now, then I might need her help to go home.”
“Interesting,” remarked Colgate. “You may have a problem, though. As nice as Princess Celestia is, you don’t get an audience with her just by asking.”
“I’ll do whatever I have to,” said Alice. “But I need your help. On top of that problem, I have no idea where anything is in the city of Canterlot, how the train system works, or any of a bunch of other things. I consider you a friend, and I could use the help.”
After a moment, Colgate smiled. “All right, if it means that much to you, I’ll help.”
“Good luck to both of you,” said the stallion in the exam chair, “but do you think you could finish here before running off on some adventure?”
“Oh! Sorry,” said Colgate, turning back to his checkup. Alice left the room, planning her next move. If the Princess truly had visited Earth in Alice’s place, the dentist felt confident that Celestia would be sympathetic to her plight.
The next day was already scheduled to be fairly light work. Colgate sent Alice to meet ponies that had appointments and ask them to reschedule. Some wanted earlier appointments, some were content with later. Alice and Colgate worked a couple of extra hours that night to free up the next day for a trip to Canterlot.
The night passed unbearably slowly and Alice had trouble sleeping due to anticipation. After being stuck as a pony for so long, she was willing to grasp at any faint glimmer of hope.
In the morning, she met Colgate at the train station. Alice wore her usual smock, mint green fabric that reminded her of scrubs from Earth. There was a jangle in the pocket and she realized that she must have accidentally taken some tools from work. It was not a serious problem. Colgate would understand, and Equestria had no security to prevent sharp objects on public transportation.
The two of them bought tickets and took their seats in the traincar. Alice said, “I appreciate you doing this.”
Colgate shrugged. “What are friends for?”
“Do you really believe that I’m from another planet?” asked Alice.
The doctor thought for a moment. “Well, you believe it. I think that one way or another, this trip to Canterlot will help to resolve the issue.”
Alice caught in Colgate’s tone the implication that if she were crazy, the Princess would tell her so. Still, she appreciated being given the chance. She asked, “How well do you know Canterlot?”
“I’ve been there a several times,” said Colgate. “I’ve got friends living there.”
“I guess I don’t really know a whole lot about you outside of work,” admitted Alice.
“Well, I suppose I am kind of boring. I don’t really go out much.” Colgate sighed. “I don’t even have a special somepony at the moment. How about you?”
Alice saw some similarity to their work situation, but she felt fortunate to have Josh. “I suppose I’m pretty dedicated to my job back home. I miss my special somepony. I think he might have been about to propose when I disappeared.”
Colgate patted her shoulder. “That’s too bad. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out.”
In the few weeks she’d been in Equestria, Alice had strived to learn all she could. Knowledge was power, and she’d been trying to gain as much of it as possible. She knew that there were two Princesses, one of whom had disappeared suddenly. Based on the rumors circulating amongst the passengers on the train, it seemed like she might be back.
Alice had never managed to figure out why there were no Queens or Kings of Equestria, but had learned roughly how the government worked. As a typical citizen of the United States, she was enamored by, but not completely trusting of, royalty from other countries. Despite that, Equestria seemed remarkably well run.
“How can I get an audience with the Princess?” Alice asked.
“Well, I guess you can walk up to the castle and ask,” suggested Colgate. “Or...hey, Rarity! Fluttershy!”
Two mares sitting in a nearby seat turned. A white unicorn with an indigo mane said, “Hello Dr. Colgate. Going to Canterlot too?”
“Sure are.” Colgate gestured to Alice. “My friend was hoping to meet with Princess Celestia.”
A look passed across Rarity’s face and that of the yellow pegasus sitting beside her. The white mare remarked, “It might be difficult.”
“I keep hearing that Princess Celestia is back,” said Alice. “It’s very important that I talk to her.”
“As a couple of the Elements of Harmony, maybe you could help her out?” suggested Colgate.
Rarity took in the desperate look on Alice’s face. She seemed reluctant, but gently asked, “Why do you need to speak with her, darling?”
“I think I had something to do with her disappearance.” That would do for now, decided Alice.
“I’ll put in a word for you, then,” resolved Rarity.
“So why are you two going to Canterlot?” asked Colgate. “Applejack missed bringing her sister to the clinic the other day because she was headed there.”
“We all went,” said Rarity. “Fluttershy and myself came back to retrieve a few things.”
The unicorn flourished a hat box, showing off the fancy article inside. “I hoped to display this at an upcoming fashion haberdashery show. I hope it doesn’t go so disastrously wrong as last year. A single stitch out of place! I could have just died of embarrassment!”
“I couldn’t leave Angel Bunny alone for so long,” said Fluttershy, speaking for the first time. A blanket she held wiggled and a furry white creature peered out. The bunny focused on Alice and took an instant dislike to her, glaring with its beady eyes.
She jerked in realization. The mad hatter, the quiet doormouse, and the white rabbit...
Just then, an old mare pushing a snack cart stopped in the aisle. "Tea, anypony?"
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Oh, this chapter was written pretty darn well!
I like where this is going.
That ending. I love it so.
Wonderful.
And Celestia's hair is long to increase solar energy productivity.... I guess that makes sense. More area, more power.... How do you come up with these things?
HA Alice in Ponyland.
That ending was brilliant!
... So I was a bit too literal when I thought about the mad hatter and the doormouse, but at least I knew that Angel would tag along? Right?
what's with the links in the description?
1453596
I don't know what you mean.
1453474
Celestia - The first solar-powered human-thing.
Oh you went there, and i like it.
Awesome chapter! I look forward to more of your consistently enjoyable work, TNAB.
The only thing I like more than a good story is a good story that updates regularly.
so i am thinking that pearl harbor is about to have a really bad day
The ending I c wat u did thar bro
PFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!1
Wait... i think i remember you - or somebody else - who described the plot to a story very similar to this...
1453888
number three
A very merry unbirthday, to you!
1453914
Hey, is it your unbirthday too?
Alice in...
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I loved that ending. It made me rofl
Oh my god. Celestia's going to try to draw power from the reactor isn't she. Love the Alice in Wonderland reference. The "Tea, anypony?" line made me almost pee myself.
1453605
oh you are all enjoying this, every last one of you in on whatever this is. I get it, i'll stop asking.
Dang, you write fast! How many more chapters are planning for this story?
1454081
At least three, maybe more than six. We'll know when we get there.
Just then, an old mare pushing a snack cart stopped in the aisle. "Tea, anypony?"
---
CHANGE PLACES!
'dat ending, best pun ever.
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Even if this story weren't so interesting, it would have been worth it all for that reference.
Awesome!
Curiouser and curiouser.
Good story so far, defiantly in my top three of PoE fics.
MOAR???
You'd think more ponies would take notice of Alice being far larger than everyone else (since, I'd guess Celestia is roughly 1/2 head taller than Big Mac or Fleur De Lise), but I digress...
...I sense Angel being awesome shortly.
...
Question: Alice is an Alicorn right? So, shouldn't...oh right. The smock.
Still, wouldn't they be looking for her? If she wants to see Celstia I'd think showing off those wings would be the best way to get her attention.
1453729
No it's not.
While I can't say I'm especially enamoured of your writing or dialogue, I'm a sucker for a competently done pony on Earth story.
I'm certain I'll read this to completion.
Hmm...
Now all they need is the train pony to yell "CHANGE PLACES!"
Alice in Equestria: Get your copy today!
I'm liking this story, but one minor thing has been bugging me. It seems odd that Discord would promise to give Celestia a taste of chaos and then make her part of one of the most regimented and orderly of human enterprises -- the Earth's largest military, belonging to the world's most prosperous nation. I suppose that does, however, make good on his promise to put her in a position where she's not in control. A soldier has to follow orders, after all.
Love the ending of this chapter.
1455190 I think you're making an assumption that Earth was the 'taste of chaos.' It may be, but the consequences of Celestia being human (and Alice-as-alicorn) may be what he was really getting at.
1454182>>1455019 Alice has been there, done that, gotten the wings and horn to prove it.
that ending was brilliant
1455476
Good points. :)
This is excellent
1454102 I know you're dedicating half a chapter to each side, but I was wondering if you were going to go into what Celestia did and learned in the real world. Her experiences with technology (Wonder what she'd think of a computer, or iPad...), other differences, etc. I'm assuming My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic doesn't exist here? Or is he simply ignorant of the show? I'd love to see a whole chapter dedicated to her experiences, personally.
When Josh was explaining the US government, I was almost expecting something like the end of ERBoH: Obama vs Romney where Lincoln shouted "Of the people! By the people! For the people! Eagle!"
1458254
That my friends was hilarious
u shud do entire chapters of just celestia's adventure and then Alice's. See if it works out.