AlwaysDressesInStyle's Ponyville CiderFest '23 Interactive App Stories

by AlwaysDressesInStyle

Unfair Advantage

Hook: Negotiating with ponies is significantly different than dealing with humans.

Story #303
Title: Unfair Advantage
Keyword: Trade
Character: Ploomette
Chaos/Villain

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Everyone thinks diplomats lead great lives, but you know the truth – while there are plenty of perks, there are downsides, just like any other career. Presidents, kings, and dictators alike make promises, and it’s up to people like you to make sure those actions get carried out.

Your current task is to address the current trade imbalance with Equestria. That means dealing with the shortcomings of your predecessor, who’d caved in to all of Equestria’s demands, and was subsequently removed from the post. You’ve inherited the position, and are now in charge of rectifying those previous mistakes.

You’re up against Ploomette, a duchess in her home country. She has a bunch of titles, but the only one that’s relevant is Equestrian Permanent Representative to the United Nations. She’s an adorable pink pegasus with a mane that’s all the colors of the rainbow. You’ve been chosen specifically because you’re immune to cuteness. Kids selling cookies for a school fundraiser? You tell them ‘no’. Sign advertising ‘free kittens’ by the side of the road? You keep on driving. You’re cool, calm, and collected; as cold as ice. Nothing can thaw your frozen heart – certainly not a cute little pony. Your predecessor was weak, whereas you are strong.

You march into the Equestrian Consulate General in New York City, head held high. The building is literally a castle, which looks ridiculously out of place amongst towering skyscrapers. You’ve given Ploomette the home court advantage, in the hopes that it’ll make her complacent. You like it when others underestimate you. It makes it so much easier to pull the rug out from under them at the last second.

The consulate is decorated with Equestrian artifacts and maps of Equestria, as well as portraits of ponies with both a horn and wings. You recognize them as the leaders of the pony nation. It’s said that to merely be in the presence of one of the alicorns is to have your will bent to their whims. You haven’t had the opportunity to meet an alicorn yet, but you’re confident that if the day ever comes that you do, you’ll have them eating out of your hand. The Equestrian princesses rarely visit Earth, leaving things to their ambassador, Prince Blueblood, and Ploomette, who’s much more accessible and personable than the egotistical prince.

You’re punctual for your meeting. Not so early as to seem anxious or overeager, and not late as to be disrespectful. Ploomette’s time is valuable, as is your own, and you’ll treat her with the same courtesy as anyone else. Her secretary gives you a cheery smile and waves you right into the duchess’ office.

You start with the request you know will be denied for multiple reasons. Your country manufactures trucks and would like to sell them in Equestria, but you also know Equestria doesn’t have the infrastructure, nor do they want gasoline or diesel-powered vehicles polluting their country. Their electrical grid is currently incompatible, and hydrogen fuel cell vehicles are a niche market at best. Equestria’s not going to be on wheels any time soon.

Ploomette shoots down your proposal instantly, as expected. There’s give and take, and your strategy is to ask for far more than you actually want, with the hopes of compromising close to your intended goals.

One area where Equestria is lacking is mass-production techniques. There are plenty of other products that could be sold in Equestria with little to no local competition. Cosmetics and toys & games are the two areas you’ve highlighted in particular. Getting your foot in the door to even one of these industries would be a win. You segue into conversations on cosmetics.

Ploomette’s response is negative. Unless you can guarantee none of your country’s cosmetics are tested on animals, she won’t even consider their importation into Equestria.

That leaves you with only one objective left, and that’s getting her to lower tariffs on imported toys. Ploomette isn’t in a position where she can remove the tariffs, but she can make a recommendation to do so. She’s reluctant to. Unsurprisingly, toys are traditionally made in the pony’s homeland, and allowing mass-produced toys in would decimate the local toymakers. She opens a cabinet behind her desk, revealing a collection of Matchbox cars.

For the same price as one traditional toy, a foal could have a dozen Matchbox cars. She opens a desk drawer and reveals a battered plush cat toy from her own childhood. Its construction is superior compared to similar products available on Earth. The stitching is exquisite, and one can tell the toymaker was quite proud of their work. That single toy probably took a day for one pony to make, whereas a factory could churn out thousands of identical items in the same time.

Thus far, you’ve dominated the conversation and Ploomette has made no mention of any concessions that Equestria might want from your country. These meetings are never one-sided. If Equestria didn’t also want something, this meeting wouldn’t be taking place. Rather than beat around the bush, you ask her what Equestria wants.

“Raise your quota of immigrants.”

That is sure to get a mixed reaction back home, with some saying there are already too many ponies in the country. A position that’s firmly held by your leader.

“Please?” She looks up at you with big, expressive blue eyes. Her lip is slightly quivering, making it appear as if she might cry if you turn her down. For all practical intents and purposes, she’s weaponized cuteness.

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[CHOICE]

>You know she’s manipulating you, but you don’t care. Give in. (chaos)

>Stand firm! Don’t give in just because she’s adorable. No means no! (villain)