A little cliche with the big black Dane, a little clumsy with the narration change at the beginning, a little Out of Character for Cadance to fit the narrative, and full of tropes.

But it has pretty darn good grammar, a coherent plot, and solid porn. I'm gonna read this, and it looks like I'm going to enjoy it. Keep up the degeneration!

11419131
Thanks! I felt that there wasn't enough good bestiality fics centered on the princesses so I took it upon myself to rectify such an issue.

Oh and the great dane thing? Yeah it's cliche but what can I say? I like big dogs.

11419136
not necessarily centered on the princesses but the coming chapters of a timberwolf fic of mine well be cadence, luna, and sunbutt getting fucked

"that was close!"

11419527
???

She should have gotten rid of the dog. Oh well, she's gonna get raped and eventually like all the anime girls do, eventually enjoy it. Wonder if Shining Armor will catch them. That dog is a bit rapey.

11419592
I mean, at this point it seems lke she may have accidentally zapped him with her magic whammy, so holding it against Onyx isn't exactly fair.

Super hot already!

11419658
Dog knows what its doing and she didn't ask for it. I get its a Story but she'd really would get rid of it.

I'm excited for the next chapter!

11419543
Someone's grooming efforts are starting to pay off., 😈

11419896
I don't understand.

11419932
It's your story, you'll figure it out. 😇😘

Do you know when the next chapter will be out?

11420048
Working on it as we speak.

11420056

I shall have to send Nux Taku here so he can discuss it with Vtubers and get cancelled on Twitter.

Got a higher than average number of odd comments on this clop story, lol

11420148
Who?

11420260
To be fair it's an odd clop: Princess Cadance cheats on Shining Armor with a Great dane.

I feel like weird responses were almost a given.

Great story! I hope you will continue it soon

11420342
True but usually they're something along the lines of "this makes me moist", or "I hate you, you're going to hell for this", not shaming a dog because he should know better or otherwise reading way too much into the story

Congrats, your featured on the front page!

11420340 Dio's true form, but also Reverse Flash.

11421354
I know! two for two!

Stay tuned folks...

Will do!

One suggestion though: you don't need to directly foreshadow stuff that we, viewing through Cadance's perspective, shouldn't know.

But if she had been paying a little more attention, Cadance might have noticed the subtle pink sheen that came over Onyx’s eyes as she passed by. The dog keeping his gaze laser focused upon Cadance’s rear and hungrily licking his chops.

The anticipation from not knowing exactly what's about to happen is part of the enjoyment. Don't tell us what is about to happen; let us suspect but not know for sure, because that builds more excitement. And stories like these are all about the excitement.

(You used this kind of excitement dampening foreshadowing... three or four times in this chapter)

This. I love this. Please continue. Otherwise you get booped with a book.

11421600
would you mind telling me where that foreshadowing popped up so I can correct it and know how to avoid it later on?

11421623

So, there were three times in this chapter:

However, princess Cadance would soon get a firsthand experience of just how friendly the Great Dane could be after spending one fateful weekend alone with him. A weekend that would change her life forever.

And:

But mere moments before she drifted off to sleep, the door to her private library was lightly nudged open and a large, four legged creature came padding in. His presence completely unnoticed by the slumbering princess.

And:

But if she had been paying a little more attention, Cadance might have noticed the subtle pink sheen that came over Onyx’s eyes as she passed by. The dog keeping his gaze laser focused upon Cadance’s rear and hungrily licking his chops.

This wasn’t over, not by a long shot.

These do a number of things that interfere with the story. The first is that the story is told firmly from Cadance's point of view - we experience her actions, her outlook, her emtions - but these three paragraphs are not. They're from the perspective of an omniscient narrator who is in the story nowhere else, and the swaps are very jarring. As part of this, they're giving us readers information that Cadance cannot have, which is also jarring because this story is about her experiences. That's not to say you can't use an omniscient narrator - you absolutely can - it's that this story wasn't written with one in mind.

The next thing these paragraphs do is spoil the tension, which is generally a bad thing for a story that is reliant on reader excitement. They let us know in a general sense what is going to happen before those things happen, which kind of spoils the surprise. Let our lack of knowing what is about to happen be a feature! Drive us crazy with not telling us things until the exact moment those things happen! That's exciting!

Third, these paragraphs don't actually tell us much that we don't already know. Anyone who's read the story title and description is going to understand that this story is going to be memorable for Cadance; the story doesn't need to tell us this. We don't need to be told that Cadance is about to encounter Onyx; we suspect it, but it's more exciting to not know for sure. We don't need to know that Onyx is about to pursue Cadance; the story can just have him do so, and we'll find out.

As general writing advice, I hope this helps!

P.S. I don't remember any similar instances in chapter 2.

Fun read and interesting fantasy. How far will it go? How deep will they knot bond?