Time and reality; concepts that allow a being to measure how long it's been and the world around them. To us, they may be concrete and unchangeable but to others, they are as fluid as the ocean. One slight change in how things were done, what was said at a key moment or how things played out could change the course of history. A different choice of words, a different turn of events, a missed attack, a sudden twist, an offer that previously wasn't extended, a choice previously refused or never even possible, a decision to do or not to do something. Any and all of these can change the world forever.
In this universe, instead of kidnapping Rarity, the Nightmare Forces kidnap and corrupt Rainbow Dash into Night-time Flare. Unlike Rarity's very public kidnapping, Rainbow Dash's is whilst she is alone so the other Elements and Princesses are woefully unprepared for what is about to hit them and Equestria. What are Flare's goals and what is everypony going to do about it? In the meantime, a far greater but largely forgotten evil waits in the shadows with terrible designs for the entirety of Equus. The fate of Equus itself lies in the balance of both friends and enemies alike. It is ultimately a tale of making severe mistakes and facing the consequences. The only thing for certain is that past grievances will be faced and hopefully resolved whilst one particular ruler must face the major mistakes that she made in the past.
Timeline note; The story is set after "Keep Calm and Flutter On" but before "Magical Mystery Cure." Two years have passed since the events of the Summer Sun Celebration.
Night-Time Flare? Hhmmmmm.
I don't get on why the Princesses and Shining ever think that Twilight or Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity "died"?
Because one, there is no death tag. And two, the Nightmare Spirit said so herself; "It's better to corrupted them fully, than to simply kill them."
Wait, they haven't met the Storm King as of yet, so why reference him? Since this is still Season 3.
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Yeah, even I was thinking it slightly OOC as I wrote it. Fortunately, I've done some slight rewording that I think makes more sense. The reader was never really supposed to think them dead hence why it is tagged Mystery and not Tragedy or Death. The mystery is what Flare wants and what she's actually doing, the "death" is only meant to apply to the characters. Now that I think about it, the Main Six would likely believe NM would kill them but not the Princesses and Shining. Banishing is all but a death sentence for ordinary ponies anyway so it works better in my opinion. As for the error about the Storm King, for some reason I thought the Storm King fought Celestia and Luna long ago like Sombra and Discord. Thanks for the feedback.
P.S. Isn't it a bit crazy that the Nightmare Force are easily dominating the ponies so badly. And all it took is picking a entirely different host like Rainbow Dash, instead of Rarity?
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I think of more around context than Mary Suedom or something. When the Main Six can approach the situation with some kind of organised effort such as Nightmare Moon's original appearance or Sombra, they can somewhat easily curb-stomp the threat. When taken completely off guard or cut off and surrounded on all sides, especially emotionally compromised with one of thier closest friends now thier enemy, they're at a significant disadvantage. The Season 6 finale is great evidence of this.
As for what happens with Twilight, in an out and out magical fight, an Alicorn would always win and grief is a powerful emotion.
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Then how did Celestia lose to Chrysalis for example?
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I see it as Chrysalis should have lost but the show makes it clear that the more love energy the Changelings absorb, the stronger they become, In the Season 2 finale for instance, it's left ambiguous just how long Chrysalis has been impersonating Cadance but spent that time getting constant streams of true love (the purest love there is). With that, she managed to grow to Alicorn levels of power and defeat Celestia but her own arrogance is what caused her shortsightedness and allowed her to be thrown from Canterlot. I'd say I'm spitballing but, if this wasn't true, then she wouldn't need to have been so underhanded about it. She's the kind of being to use the stick before the carrot so to speak so she needed the energy to stand a chance.
When I say all-powerful, I don't mean that Alicorns are Mary Sue level Gods but instead that they are just supremely powerful but not infallible. For instance, Sombra was at least the very least a match for them and Tirek was so great a threat that the Princesses temporarily gave thier magic to Twilight and left themselves defenceless against him. The point of all this is that, whereas Alicorns aren't completely invincible, an Alicorn will almost always win an out and out fight unless there are other mitigating factors like Sombra's power over darkness or Tirek's magic suction.
But, if Alicorns aren't invincible then why aren't three Princesses and Shining Armour unable to break down the dome then? Surely the power of three Alicorns and a pony so strong that he became head of the Royal Guard and heavily contributed to the defeats of two major threats would be able to break it down with sustained effort right? I see it as a clash of powers for want of a better term. Each of the Princesses embody a different kind of fundamental power (solar power, lunar power and love) whereas Nightmare Moon has four different sources. Her own natural darkness, the Alicorn power derived from the power of all three tribes, her connection to the Moon (which she clearly retained post-pilot episode as the original comic depicted Nightmare Rarity's Equestria as perpetual night) and then the Element of Loyalty's own inherent power. Just felt like I should explain my logic.
Maybe I'm full of it and making things up to excuse bad writing, I don't know.
Okay why is Dash doing all of this and shr has got to know that isn't really her friends going along with this.
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Since the real answer will be revealed slightly later, I won't say much but let's just say that, in this version of history, Dash becomes somewhat disillusioned with what happened before. Morally, I guess I look it as a "love me or hate me for doing this" situation. When you believe that what you're doing is so right that personal sacrifices like your friendships are less important. As for the corruption, because let's not best around the bush here, it isn't really brainwashing like say Starlight would later do and more like enlightenment. Whether this and the revelation that will come later makes the story crap or not is up to you. I'm ultimately just writing this story for the hell of it. Even as the writer, I see this story mostly as just okay with some very bad parts as you and another guy highlighted. How the hell this hasn't been dislike bombed into oblivion, I don't know. It's not offensively bad but not great either. Thanks for the feedback.
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Because this an interesting concept. Dash is most believeabke in how she is doibg this. But the core question is what is the trigger? You said later and that is fine just really has my curiosity going.
Tryst me one if ny biggest surprises is that ny human replaces Cadance is a top story.
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The answer to everything is weirdly simple and one of those "why didn't I think of that? It's so obvious" answers. It's not mind-blowing but it's not meant to be. The motivation is merely the catalyst which leads to the story, not the story in and of itself. All I will say about it is that I chose Season 3 for a reason other than Scootaloo's relationship with Dash. My goal with this story isn't to create a massive "why did she do it?" mystery (since those kind of stories can feel like a complete waste of time if the answer is unsatisfactory) but instead to explore somewhat skewed morality. This isn't meant to be a mystery story as much as it is a character focused drama; Everything Flare is doing is morally questionable at best but it's something she believes is best for everypony but she needs to make them experience it or they'd never know.
The answer itself will be revealed during the long-time coming talk between Flare and Scootaloo hinted at before. The last thing I want is for the mystery to be answered and everyone to think this was a whole loada build-up to some gigantic answer that never existed hence why I left this comment for anyone to read. This may feel like a letdown but I felt I should make my intentions clear so the story doesn't feel aimless.
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the trigger is important but the outcome is also goign to be intresting. not judging yet
Why not just call her Nighttime Flare?
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In the case of Nightmare Moon specifically, it's because Night-time Flare is the combined being but they remain separate entities. Flare is fundamentally Rainbow Dash with the Nightmare being the other half hence why they can operate seperately. As for why I keep calling her Flare and not the full name, it's because 1. I feel that it would be redundant after a certain point (ie the reader would be like "okay, we get that her name is Night-time Flare, stop repeating it like we're idiots) but mostly for 2. shorthand and because it feels more natural. They don't usually go around calling Twilight Sparkle by her full name every time they speak to her for instance so why would they here? If would sound horrible unnatural. Thanks for the feedback.
Luna issue was delicate and not much could be improved with out jeopardizing the result. Discord was not an issue but easily should not have been placed in the open. Chryssy, well that is the this time Celestia misjudged some one and was really stupid.
Sombra was used as a fucking test when at minimum the sisters could have run interference.
And of course add in this senario. The princesses didn't even noticed Dash was on the moon.
But Dash what is Nightmare gaining with you as a willing host? That is the big question.
So Dash has point but her solution i can not support. Did she even talk with the princesses on her concerns?
Scoots is gonna die, isn't she
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All excellent points. Although I can't fix some of the more fundamental issues with the story, I never really considered some other points and will adjust accordingly. As for the... questionable way of going about this, I view it as a means to an end. Some terror and panic but then greater safety and by extension happiness. The greater good and all that. And if you're wondering, yes there will be a confrontation in due time between the Princesses and Nightmare Moon but that's all I'll say. Thanks for the feedback.
I'm sorry to say this is what every villain says to justify their bad accents. Do not matter what the justification is forcing something on a people is never good and they will usually always end in tragedy. And simple karmic justice should be the answer to this problem instead of coming to her friends and tell them I have a better way to see the side. It see knew was better and that is the road of tyrants and monsters.
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I guess the way I look at it is that this isn't meant to be exactly heroic. As you highlighted, forcing things onto others is iffy at best and often backfires in some way. By design, Flare is supposed to be idealistic in that she started with good intentions but the methods are... less than moral. Nightmare Moon herself has been shown to bring out the worst sides of a person before (Luna's anger and hatred or Rarity's obsessive need for perfection to ridiculous extents) which is what happened here. Loyalty is fantastic but it can be twisted into obsession and over-protectiveness. The kind of emotions that can drive one into doing ridiculous things to keep others safe. The path to Hell is paved with good intentions as it were.
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So there's no confusing. I enjoy the story. I have read every single chapter so far. And I agree good attentions can lead the bad results. But we're going to see if the cost is worth the prize. He chose the best person to use this on someone who doesn't fully think about their accents. And you purposely made her argument flawed because the next enemy is a creature who can just take people's magic and there's very little you can do to spend against that. But I guess that would be future knowledge.
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The point you brought up about Tirek stealing magic and kinda rendering the story's entire point null is something I actually plan on addressing. Namely, I've paid a lot of lip service to "this is the best way to defend Equestrians morality be damned" but what the hell does that entail? How is this favourable to just regular ponydom? Why the hell would anypony want this? What happened to Scootaloo in the story kinda addresses one of the darker sides of this already. Very poor communication and broken trust leads to terror and desperation and eventually this but it was by complete accident due to issues in the story.
If the Farmhouse ending felt kinda rushed or anti-climactic, it's because I was pretty much spit-balling by that point. The reason why the writing can come across as weird, stilted or (as you mentioned) unintentionally psychopathic is mostly because I'm making this up as I go along with little more than a basic idea for what the chapter will be.
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Oh how fun! Most people usually don't write from the hip but I find it interesting when people do. I didn't really feel like the barn scene was rust. I thought more. It was a natural progression. Most kids will go back to a place they feel comfortable when they are in the stressful situation or dangerous. But continue weaving your web and let's see what the threads tell us.
New chapter when?
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I hope to have it out by next week since it's about halfway done. The biggest problem with the story is deciding where to go from here. The first chapters were finished so quickly because I was getting the foundations out of the way but now more time is needed. Now though, for better or for worse, I know where the story's going and I'm going to die on this hill if I have to. Whether it turns out to be a popular decision or not remains to be seen but the foundations will be set in the next chapter.
You've also unintentionally given me a motivation boost. Before, I was getting views but no comments for a while and I began to think no-one gave a hoot anymore. After the rather... mixed reception of "The Truth," things went pretty much radio silent comment wise. Any story can get views over time but the lack of clear response made it feel like people were clicking on, reading the first chapter and clicking off. The mostly negative reaction to the original version of "The Long Awaited Confrontation" didn't help, especially as I wrote myself into a corner with that chapter so I had to almost completely rewrite it. Hell, for about a week, the story was deleted as I was not at all happy with it but I then had it restored by the admins and decided to continue it. It's nice to know someone is interested.
Rainbow has gotten what she deserved scootaloo being hurt this bad it's something that should have snapped her out of it but since she is not going and trying to push off nightmare Moon she's too far gone
That took too long, good thing I can still read this one.
Have a feeling that was a bad move Celestia. Dash still cares about scootaloo so should paid attentio
Okay wherenisnthis story going now?
Chryssy is right though. she is a monster now becaude of YOUR inaction. the fact this group got so big under your noses and even had members in the the nobility and YOUR OWN GUARD. admit the L
Okay for some reason Nightmare is allowing Fash to augment her friends.
But seriously Celestia. Next time kill yoir big bad. You are proving Dash's point here. How many big bads did you not fonish that Twilight and the others have to?
Andnthey are not adressing the fact the pinyville.ponies dod what they did while still dark?
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I do actually plan to getting into that later on. It’s just that certain things take priority. First was the Changelings, then the clean-up and now Aurum. Chain of priorities and all that. It’s happening quite a while from now but I haven’t forgotten and it will be very directly addressed. One of the most complicated things about this story was trying to incorporate the new ideas with the older, original premise but I think I’m doing a reasonable job. The original idea I had for the ending to the story had neither them nor Aurum in it whatsoever. It was essentially to just have the Princesses basically roll over and accept it but I later decided it would be a very bad idea. I decided to have a more practical demonstration of the ideas beyond what Flare was espousing with no real evidence which is why I introduced the Changelings to the story to begin with. They’re the only major large scale threat that can threaten an entire town like Ponyvile.
Chryssy is not completely wrong
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okay. and why do I have the feelign they will need Dash to succeed.
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To respond to both comments;
1. It’s good to see my idea’s working. These long diatribes are leading somewhere beyond pointless bickering and will come to a head later on, during Act 5. All these points come from Chrysalis mostly because anypony else blowing up about this would be kinda out of character. Like, Twilight thinks too highly of Celestia to really acknowledge how she’s blatantly being strung along and the others are in a very similar boat. Chrysalis is supposed to be a little bit right and a little bit wrong because of course she’s going to view it overly maliciously. She hates Celestia but at the same time, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
2. That’ll remain to be seen.
The story’s getting to a head very soon anyway. There’ll be the next chapter and then the showdown but that’s all I’ll say. It’s not over yet, still got 6-10 chapters to go, but this is more or less the pre-climax stage of the story.
Two sisters should not be ruined till after Nightmare Moon.
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I guess the thought process I had when I decided it was that, without Everfree City, Equestria lacks a capital so might as well move to the sorta central city of Canterlot. I mean, the Castle of the Two Sisters is quite far into a forest and quite the journey for any form of appeal to the Princesses since you have to take a hike there and back. True, the Castle of the Two Sisters isn’t ruined here but it’s also no longer in a great place for the ultimate form of government either. Imagine for instance if Congress was located in the middle of the Florida Everglades and it required a boat ride to get to work and conduct government business every day. It’s not an ideal way to run a government.
As for the Castle itself? I would like to think that, had Nightmare Moon not happened, it’d have been maintained as either some kind of museum or back-up castle should something happen to Canterlot. It sounds ridiculous but, given everything else I’ve come up with so far, it’s on brand in terms of ridiculous and a bit far fetched. Why did I do this in the first place? Originally, the destruction of the Everfree an attempt at dramatic effect in the Changeling story and then I just kinda logiced my way out. This is the problem with just kinda winging chapters but hey, it’s fun to do. It’s only around seventy years before Nightmare Moon anyway so it made sense in my mind.
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it feels like an unneeded change