Sweetie Belle: You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you? Scootaloo: For a second there, yeah, I kinda did.
I also added the "Comedy" tag, because when two fillies are exploring stuff like that, I can't help but giggle. I will be keeping the same tone that I've been holding since the beginning, with the "feels". This is just to give the readers a more accurate description. This actually stems from my IRC friends telling me that they didn't want to read a sadfic about CMC. People have such a hard time understanding that "Sad" is NOT the same as "Tragedy". Sadfics just have sad moments in them, and you can't really have the supercute filly smile without first making them sad. It's like watching the sun rise after a dark and stormy night. (Yay! I finally got to use that phrase!"
Isseus, would you kindly stop supplying me with whyboners? I can't help but feel as if I'm enjoying this far more than I should. not that that's a bad thing...
1360109 Thanks for the nice comments. And as you might have noticed, I partially wrote this story to see how much I could do before the reader started shaking their heads and said "That just wouldn't happen". This chapter was just a crazy barrage of fetishes, the next one might be something different, or even worse stuff. We'll see.
Also did you read my earlier comments to mines5? You might find them entertaining and educational.I think I might add it to my blog...
1360253 This? This is disturbing? Have you ever tried using the "Dark" tag while looking for a story? I mean... there's some seriously NASTY stuff on this site. And I don't mean my other story, but seriously, SEEEEERIOUSLY messed up.
But breaking cultural norms? Well isn't that part of what makes being a 'brony' so fun?
*Pulls up trousers* Well, aside from the epic S&M, this story is one of the few-- fuck, the only fetish fic with any moral under and overtones. I now appreciate my ability to buy Mike & Ikes with money I get from my job slightly more thanks to this. Epic work!
1360308 You're welcome. I personally never would have guessed I'd be seriously trying to make an aural/nasal/oral/rectal insertion story about two imaginary minihorse-kids from a girl's animation series, so I guess we've both found something new from ourselves? Also you used the word epic twice... does it become epic^2?
Just one question... what the bwork is Mike & Ike's? I'm a blue troll from high above the polar circle and have to use skis and fight several polar bears to even get to the closest shop and buy energy drinks, so the consumer goods of you more privileged folks are often lost on me.
Mike and Ikes are a candy that should be enjoyed with fun erratic electronic music, some form of fruit flavored soda, and a lot of dancing for no reason.
1360403 Your description made it sound more like a perverted XXX-rated magazine for discerning adults. Also those candies would NEVER fit inside that little box. I call shenanigans.
ALSO: Thanks to YOU, this story now has more likes than my previous story. Ho-Broof!
1360291 But only the Dark tag doesn't give the weirdest stuff. For that you need the Gore tag, then you can talk about the disturbing stuff that's on here. (In some cases, the Sex tag without Romance also gives a fair bit of results.)
In any case, I've caught up with what you've written and that makes me sad. When I posted my first comment, I was at chapter three and was equal amounts disturbed and intrigued. Now however, I'm far more interested than I was then when the story had some time to grow on me. Sure, I doubt I would ever even consider doing this myself or even watch it, but the psychology behind the entire idea was what convinced me.
If this had been nothing but Sweetie abusing Scoots (in every way possible) it still wouldn't have had nearly a third of the impact it have on me right now. You can only take out-of-context clop and fetishes so far, but when you build a story around it things can go anywhere. This here is a fine example of that, since you have a story for every moment, reasons why, context and, perhaps most important of all you portray the story in a manner I can believe.
I've said my piece, now I'll shut up and stalk you silently while I sent my Changeling-double to lick your hooves, Mistress.
1364393 You're correct in that "gore" is something I always, ALWAYS shy away. But it's not because I consider gory stuff to be icky or too much. Several of my favorite works of fiction are very bloody and messy. From anime, Berserk and Higurashi no naku koro ni are some of my all time favorites, for example. It's just more a question of suspension of disbelief. I just CAN'T believe any story that features ponymauling in any way as 'realistic'. And I'm using the word in context of technicolor ponies, I know. To me, a story must be plausible. I wrote this story for exactly that reason: I couldn't read a one-off story about anal licking between Scoots and Sweets. Yet I just did it in the latest chapter, in what I'd call a plausible way.
I also must add that if you haven't read my previous story, Twidark, you might enjoy it. I know this is a shameless plug for my stories, but in that story I try to take the concept of 'Twily goes batshit insane' and treat it with the same amount of care that I did with this story.
Also, my hooves are getting dry. Get to work, peon.
1364459 Shameless plug is shameless, but unnecessary. I already read, liked, re-read and faved Twidark some time ago. I would agree though, gore in stories usually doesn't add anything, especially when it's only there for the sake of gore (which is most of the cases to be honest). Only in a few special cases can I think of a story with excessive amounts of gore in it that I have liked, not because of the gore but because of situations like this. The gore is used as a way to tell the story, how they act/react and their thought process during everything that's happening. These kinds of stories are so rare you can look for a long time without finding them, since they're buried under all the other gore stories.
I know you said you needed stories that had to be realistic, but I'd still urge you to give Cheerilee's Garden a chance. It's gore, but that special kind of gore where it's used as a way to portray the decent into insanity and "doom". The story is actually only the first chapter, with the other chapters being a sequel.
Now that I've shamelessly advertised someone's story, I have to confess something. I read Twidark so long ago I barely remember it completely. Might go read it again, when I have time but from what I remember you're right in your description. It never felt out of place. Enough about that though, I'm getting off the point.
And so my yearly break is over. Give me five seconds and your hooves will be sparkling and wet in any and all ways you can imagine, Mistress.
The moment of this kiss...for mi it was brilliant...could've been longer but still pretty good, tought in the last part i tought Sweetie was gonna give Scoots an oral XD
I've read the whole story and quite enjoyed the ride. I just want to make one quick comment. The um... the thermometer removal scene from this chapter is one of the hottest things I've ever read in a clopfic. Especially the awkwardness after. Just perfect.
Seems that Sweetie got her hooves on some books Rarity keeps under her bed...
There was a exceptionally nervous moment of silence, the kind you only get when you try to pass gas unnoticed in a small, confined space, except you notice that something else has passed also, and you are only wearing very short shorts, and the little girl from next door asks a very specific question from her mother. Only worse.
I love this...
Some of the lemonade had dripped down to between the pegasus' legs, and mixed up with the moisture that was running down from her pink slit. There was no way for the white filly to avoid getting some of it into her mouth.
I have a feeling that soon they'll have even more "lemonade". After all, Scootaloo drank quite a lot of it.
Here we go, 1356490 Mister Thundergod. Have fun with some fetish fuel. Well... a LOT of fetish fuel.
1356457
Sweetie Belle: You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?
Scootaloo: For a second there, yeah, I kinda did.
I also added the "Comedy" tag, because when two fillies are exploring stuff like that, I can't help but giggle. I will be keeping the same tone that I've been holding since the beginning, with the "feels". This is just to give the readers a more accurate description. This actually stems from my IRC friends telling me that they didn't want to read a sadfic about CMC. People have such a hard time understanding that "Sad" is NOT the same as "Tragedy". Sadfics just have sad moments in them, and you can't really have the supercute filly smile without first making them sad. It's like watching the sun rise after a dark and stormy night. (Yay! I finally got to use that phrase!"
Isseus, would you kindly stop supplying me with whyboners? I can't help but feel as if I'm enjoying this far more than I should.
not that that's a bad thing...
1359132 I got the strangest satisfaction from your comment.![:scootangel:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/scootangel.png)
Fetishes aside, this is a very well written story illustrating the mindset of WHY some peo- sorry, ponies, have the fetishes in the first place.
I'm enjoying this quite thoroughly so far and I'm only moderately ashamed to admit it.
1360109 Thanks for the nice comments. And as you might have noticed, I partially wrote this story to see how much I could do before the reader started shaking their heads and said "That just wouldn't happen". This chapter was just a crazy barrage of fetishes, the next one might be something different, or even worse stuff. We'll see.![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Also did you read my earlier comments to mines5? You might find them entertaining and educational.I think I might add it to my blog...
1360225 I know, man. It's like... a miracle no more ponies got killed.
1360253 This? This is disturbing? Have you ever tried using the "Dark" tag while looking for a story? I mean... there's some seriously NASTY stuff on this site. And I don't mean my other story, but seriously, SEEEEERIOUSLY messed up.
But breaking cultural norms? Well isn't that part of what makes being a 'brony' so fun?![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
*Pulls up trousers* Well, aside from the epic S&M, this story is one of the few-- fuck, the only fetish fic with any moral under and overtones. I now appreciate my ability to buy Mike & Ikes with money I get from my job slightly more thanks to this. Epic work!
1360291
you make a valid point... sorry I tend to get overly dramatic about things that are awsome![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
1360308 You're welcome. I personally never would have guessed I'd be seriously trying to make an aural/nasal/oral/rectal insertion story about two imaginary minihorse-kids from a girl's animation series, so I guess we've both found something new from ourselves? Also you used the word epic twice... does it become epic^2?![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Just one question... what the bwork is Mike & Ike's? I'm a blue troll from high above the polar circle and have to use skis and fight several polar bears to even get to the closest shop and buy energy drinks, so the consumer goods of you more privileged folks are often lost on me.![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
136038
cajuncouponer.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/mikeandikes.jpg
Mike and Ikes are a candy that should be enjoyed with fun erratic electronic music, some form of fruit flavored soda, and a lot of dancing for no reason.
1360403 Your description made it sound more like a perverted XXX-rated magazine for discerning adults. Also those candies would NEVER fit inside that little box. I call shenanigans.
ALSO: Thanks to YOU, this story now has more likes than my previous story. Ho-Broof!
1360411 (\ also what do you mean thanks to me? I don't think I did anything... am I magic?
1360419 Nope. Just customer number 126. Or maybe magic...
tohmajarvenapteekki.fi/images/magic_kondomi.jpg
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png
1360291 But only the Dark tag doesn't give the weirdest stuff. For that you need the Gore tag, then you can talk about the disturbing stuff that's on here. (In some cases, the Sex tag without Romance also gives a fair bit of results.)
In any case, I've caught up with what you've written and that makes me sad. When I posted my first comment, I was at chapter three and was equal amounts disturbed and intrigued. Now however, I'm far more interested than I was then when the story had some time to grow on me. Sure, I doubt I would ever even consider doing this myself or even watch it, but the psychology behind the entire idea was what convinced me.
If this had been nothing but Sweetie abusing Scoots (in every way possible) it still wouldn't have had nearly a third of the impact it have on me right now. You can only take out-of-context clop and fetishes so far, but when you build a story around it things can go anywhere. This here is a fine example of that, since you have a story for every moment, reasons why, context and, perhaps most important of all you portray the story in a manner I can believe.
I've said my piece, now I'll shut up and stalk you silently while I sent my Changeling-double to lick your hooves, Mistress.
1364393 You're correct in that "gore" is something I always, ALWAYS shy away. But it's not because I consider gory stuff to be icky or too much. Several of my favorite works of fiction are very bloody and messy. From anime, Berserk and Higurashi no naku koro ni are some of my all time favorites, for example. It's just more a question of suspension of disbelief. I just CAN'T believe any story that features ponymauling in any way as 'realistic'. And I'm using the word in context of technicolor ponies, I know. To me, a story must be plausible. I wrote this story for exactly that reason: I couldn't read a one-off story about anal licking between Scoots and Sweets. Yet I just did it in the latest chapter, in what I'd call a plausible way.
I also must add that if you haven't read my previous story, Twidark, you might enjoy it. I know this is a shameless plug for my stories, but in that story I try to take the concept of 'Twily goes batshit insane' and treat it with the same amount of care that I did with this story.
Also, my hooves are getting dry. Get to work, peon.
I laughed so hard. I think I need an ambulance.![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:scootangel:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/scootangel.png)
![:unsuresweetie:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/unsuresweetie.png)
Also it is getting really kinky there.
media.comicvine.com/uploads/5/52044/2060390-i_like_it.jpg
kaitaia.com/funny/g2/d/18416-1/1283925180365.gif
Bronydragon![:moustache:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/moustache.png)
1364459 Shameless plug is shameless, but unnecessary. I already read, liked, re-read and faved Twidark some time ago. I would agree though, gore in stories usually doesn't add anything, especially when it's only there for the sake of gore (which is most of the cases to be honest). Only in a few special cases can I think of a story with excessive amounts of gore in it that I have liked, not because of the gore but because of situations like this. The gore is used as a way to tell the story, how they act/react and their thought process during everything that's happening. These kinds of stories are so rare you can look for a long time without finding them, since they're buried under all the other gore stories.
I know you said you needed stories that had to be realistic, but I'd still urge you to give Cheerilee's Garden a chance. It's gore, but that special kind of gore where it's used as a way to portray the decent into insanity and "doom". The story is actually only the first chapter, with the other chapters being a sequel.
Now that I've shamelessly advertised someone's story, I have to confess something. I read Twidark so long ago I barely remember it completely. Might go read it again, when I have time but from what I remember you're right in your description. It never felt out of place. Enough about that though, I'm getting off the point.
And so my yearly break is over. Give me five seconds and your hooves will be sparkling and wet in any and all ways you can imagine, Mistress.
1364601 Well did I mention I'm writing a sequel to Twidark?![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
1364859 Sequel to Twidark sounds fantastic. I just have to remember to reread it before so I know stuff.
The moment of this kiss...for mi it was brilliant...could've been longer but still pretty good, tought in the last part i tought Sweetie was gonna give Scoots an oral XD
1358841
WARNING:
Fetish-fuel is the most flammable substance known to existance.
Oh my, what a delicious chapter/filly.
*Squee
I've read the whole story and quite enjoyed the ride. I just want to make one quick comment. The um... the thermometer removal scene from this chapter is one of the hottest things I've ever read in a clopfic. Especially the awkwardness after. Just perfect.
Seems that Sweetie got her hooves on some books Rarity keeps under her bed...![:rainbowlaugh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowlaugh.png)
I love this...
I have a feeling that soon they'll have even more "lemonade". After all, Scootaloo drank quite a lot of it.
8923928 Don't the best authors write from experience?
My thoughts on most of the chapter
https://youtu.be/3Y7aWLpuxA4
11103621![:moustache:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/moustache.png)
Yet you couldn't stop reading, could you, you little perv.