Started writing, but kinda decided to take a nap and suddenly it was getting late. Luckily the story ended up in a tasty place, so I'm sure none of you will mind, right? Riiiiight?
1348978 you threats think them through not only would you deal with my inferno but the flame of others but for now i will simply obey out of neccesity to see this through
1331441 Kind of reminds me of A Learning experience and its last chapter where the author blatantly names every single person who put it to favorites. Disregard any privacy rules and do the same once the story is over, since they've now been warned.
On an unrelated note, I'll get around to reading the rest once I find some spare time. Two chapters down, two to go and so far I'm kind of enjoying it. Don't know what that says about me, but what ever...
You just smashed my headcanon for your fic of RD being an immigrant. Meh, it wasn't that funny. Also, the only reason I noticed that and mention the possibility is because I know people who mix borrow and lend up ALL the time. Mainly because both words are translated into pinjam in their native language.
1349092 Cookie? You want... a cookie? No. You will not get a cookie.
Instead, you may lick my hooves and call me Mistress. And if you're really good at that, I just might step on you with my high-heeled horseshoes.
And glad to your you (kinda) like it. I can tell you for a fact that this is NOT how I thought the story would go. Damn fillies and their wild imagination.
1349101 It's the same in Finnish. We only have one word for both of them. We also have only one word for he/she, so that's where I consistently mess up too. I try to keep my spelling as close to English-English (you know what I mean) but all the programs I use for spellchecking are US-English...
1349140 Well, unless you are really REALLY interrested in diving into a hours-long conversation about the evolution of languages, human communication and etymology, I recommend leaving it at that.
Let's just say that my story was freely translated from Equestrian, and some error may have occurred.
Mmm I like, And somehow I picture their will be two pegasus ponies with a sore rumps by the end of this day. But that can just be imagination, or a secret plot between two savy salesponies. Oooh the possibilities are like, end less
Hey, I've been following this story since you started writing it, and have really enjoyed it! You do a good job writing your discipline scenes, and Sweetie makes a great dom - I'd never really thought of her that way. Just a suggestion though, with your dialogue in this chapter - I feel overwhelmed when I get hit with a wall of mostly unattached quotes with little context, for example:
"Yeah. That's why today sucked so bad. I mean... we hardly made thirty bits. When we split it between us, I still need another forty for my new helmet. I was kinda hoping we'd make enough selling the lemonade and have some over for snacks but meh. Stupid rainstorm."
"Sucked? I thought today was super fun!"
"Meh. All that work for just dozen bits. Doesn't seem fair."
"Scootaloo, could we make a little detour on the way?"
"Sure. Where are we off to?"
"I think I left something at my sister's place. I think we can make it before the rain starts."
"Cool. So any ideas what we're gonna do today? I was kinda hoping we'd be at the beach the whole day making crazy profits."
"Oh don't worry, Scoots. I know exactly what we're gonna do today..."
I see where you're going, and I like it, but I don't really feel it. Where's Sweetie's anger? She seems too calm, especially considering she already told Scoots that she's the one in charge (very thoroughly) in the previous chapter. Even if she doesn't say it - it sounds like she's going to give her friend a surprise - she could imply it through her actions or thoughts during their dialogue.
I don't know why, but I honestly thought there was something with that lemonade... my mind just traversed to the gutter for a moment when I read that they were selling the best lemonade in equestria
i have just one question about this chapter. how did the ponies end up at a beach? sure this story was probably made before the map of equestria was revealed, but i've never seen any signs of ponyville being even remotely close to a beach. though i haven't seen all the beaches in the world but still.
I'm not normally one to leave a comment on a clop fic, however I must admit that I lost it at: "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SPONSORS YAY!". I about died of laughter right then and there. Intentional or not you made me laugh so congratulations to you.
Chapter 4 typos: "approaching her normal color.She poured herself a glass" "There come's your pardner in crime." "a few tricks and then i have the evening shift" "to take advange of other's kindness" (the apostrophe comes after the S in most plural possessive nouns) "kinda hoping we'd make enough selling the lemonade and have some over for snacks"
Started writing, but kinda decided to take a nap and suddenly it was getting late. Luckily the story ended up in a tasty place, so I'm sure none of you will mind, right? Riiiiight?
you will burn for such cliff hangers so says inferno the fire ant
1348958 Oh? Such threats and language. Watch it, or I might not post the chapter in the next FOREVER to teach you a lesson, hmmh?
Time for another session! ... I probably shouldn't be anticipating it this much.
1348978
you threats think them through not only would you deal with my inferno but the flame of others but for now i will simply obey out of neccesity to see this through
RD ain't a native english equivalent speaker. Most likely she speaks a language where borrow and lend uses the same word. Either that or you slipped.
I can't believe I'm reading this.
1349057 Duly noted and fixed. Oh and I'm not native either, so do allow me a few slip-ups.
1331441 Kind of reminds me of A Learning experience and its last chapter where the author blatantly names every single person who put it to favorites. Disregard any privacy rules and do the same once the story is over, since they've now been warned.
On an unrelated note, I'll get around to reading the rest once I find some spare time. Two chapters down, two to go and so far I'm kind of enjoying it. Don't know what that says about me, but what ever...
Comment before like, do I get a cookie now?
1349089
You just smashed my headcanon for your fic of RD being an immigrant. Meh, it wasn't that funny.
Also, the only reason I noticed that and mention the possibility is because I know people who mix borrow and lend up ALL the time. Mainly because both words are translated into pinjam in their native language.
1349092 Cookie? You want... a cookie? No. You will not get a cookie.
Instead, you may lick my hooves and call me Mistress. And if you're really good at that, I just might step on you with my high-heeled horseshoes.
And glad to your you (kinda) like it. I can tell you for a fact that this is NOT how I thought the story would go. Damn fillies and their wild imagination.
1349101 It's the same in Finnish. We only have one word for both of them. We also have only one word for he/she, so that's where I consistently mess up too. I try to keep my spelling as close to English-English (you know what I mean) but all the programs I use for spellchecking are US-English...
1349123
What is this? Freaky parallel language evolution?
1349140 Well, unless you are really REALLY interrested in diving into a hours-long conversation about the evolution of languages, human communication and etymology, I recommend leaving it at that.
Let's just say that my story was freely translated from Equestrian, and some error may have occurred.
1349175
sounds interesting. What? I'm a geek.
1349180 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution_of_language start from there, skip the text and head for the References and Further Reading section in the end. I'll see you in a few months.
Mmm I like,
And somehow I picture their will be two pegasus ponies with a sore rumps by the end of this day.
But that can just be imagination, or a secret plot between two savy salesponies.
Oooh the possibilities are like, end less
Can't appreciate the value of money? That's a paddlin'.
1349678 Oh there's more to it than that. But you're on the right track.
Hey, I've been following this story since you started writing it, and have really enjoyed it! You do a good job writing your discipline scenes, and Sweetie makes a great dom - I'd never really thought of her that way. Just a suggestion though, with your dialogue in this chapter - I feel overwhelmed when I get hit with a wall of mostly unattached quotes with little context, for example:
I see where you're going, and I like it, but I don't really feel it. Where's Sweetie's anger? She seems too calm, especially considering she already told Scoots that she's the one in charge (very thoroughly) in the previous chapter. Even if she doesn't say it - it sounds like she's going to give her friend a surprise - she could imply it through her actions or thoughts during their dialogue.
Keep up the good work!
mmmm i can see this not ending well for sweetie bell becasue at her plc big sister = bad news
1350310 Or maybe she doesn't want to ruin the surprise? Scoots has been shown to be a real slow learner, after all.
And here I started wondering if they would get the boys involved, eventually.
I don't know why, but I honestly thought there was something with that lemonade... my mind just traversed to the gutter for a moment when I read that they were selling the best lemonade in equestria
i have just one question about this chapter. how did the ponies end up at a beach? sure this story was probably made before the map of equestria was revealed, but i've never seen any signs of ponyville being even remotely close to a beach. though i haven't seen all the beaches in the world but still.
I'm not normally one to leave a comment on a clop fic, however I must admit that I lost it at: "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SPONSORS YAY!". I about died of laughter right then and there. Intentional or not you made me laugh so congratulations to you.
I love completely oblivious Scootaloo
1349115
I'll do it!
EDIT: Why did I say that?
Chapter 4 typos:
"approaching her normal color.She poured herself a glass"
"There come's your pardner in crime."
"a few tricks and then i have the evening shift"
"to take advange of other's kindness" (the apostrophe comes after the S in most plural possessive nouns)
"kinda hoping we'd make enough selling the lemonade and have some over for snacks"
Pft
RD is one poor mare.
SB got that wicked grin.
Scoot doesn't have a clue.
Fun times...
1360190
I don't normally reply to 2-year-old comments, but that was what I thought too...