Written by: YourPrivateNightmare
Rated Teen (for alcohol reference)
*sip*
“Another one!” the plum coloured mare demanded, slamming the empty mug on the counter.
The bartender, an orange stallion with a curly, reddish-brown mane and a beer glass cutie mark took the mug and filled it again, then placed it in front of her. A few drops of punch were spilt on the counter. None of the two ponies seemed to mind.
The bar was almost empty at this time of the day anyway. Only three more Ponies were sitting in a dimly lit corner, playing cards.
*sip*
“Another day, another mug... It’s always the same,” Berry Punch thought. “What am I doing with my life...?” she asked herself.
*sip*
Indeed, Berry’s life wasn’t particularly spectacular. Due to her lack of enthusiasm, she had never really found a job that fit her. In fact, she never really looked for one. She just went through several occasional jobs, earning enough money to live a somewhat comfortable life...together with her daughter, Berry Pinch.
“Oh yeah, my little sweetheart... I guess, that’s what you get for getting drunk when you’re in heat...”
She giggled at the joke.
*sip*
No, Berry wasn’t unhappy about it. In fact, Berry Pinch was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
“Well, except for that one time, when I went to that ‘all you can drink’-party. It will take years until they pick up that idea again.”
She giggled again.
Jokes aside, Berry Punch loved her daughter. She loved her with all her heart and she wished that she could offer her a better life. If only she could remember the name of the cowardly prick that was Pinch’s father.
After she had found out that she was pregnant, she had tried everything to find that guy again, but with no memories about him, it was a futile attempt. She had had to go through it alone...and she would have never made it without the help of her family.
“Family, the only thing in the world I wouldn’t sell for a good drink....” she thought and chuckled once more.
*sip*
It was true, her family was the most important thing for her. Her daughter, her parents and, of course, her little sister, Pina Colada. They loved her, despite her...tendency to get drunk.
*sip*
But still, sometimes , it felt like she didn’t live the life she was supposed to live. It wasn’t boring but...she felt like she could only enjoy herself when she was drunk...or when she was with Berry Pinch...or sometimes both.
*sip*
Yes, Berry had also been drunk in front of her own daughter. Several times, to be honest and yes, she was ashamed of herself. She thought of it as the most irresponsible thing a parent could do and still, it happened to her all the time.
However, Pinch didn’t resent her that. She knew about her mother’s ‘slight’ drinking problem and did her best to help her. She helped her getting up the stairs when Berry couldn’t walk straight anymore, she was there to hold her mane back when she was puking in the toilet, and she was never embarrassed when Berry was cussing and swearing randomly in public once again. The little filly truly was the best thing in her life.
*sip*
Berry Punch noticed that her mug was empty again. She didn’t even need to say a word. The bartender pony grabbed it and filled it up again silently.
“Thanks...” Berry mumbled and tried to give him a smile.
That guy was getting more attractive every minute.
“Gah, stop it. Not this again! As gorgeous as she is, you don’t need another Berry Pinch!”
She chuckled again.
*sip*
Berry looked down at her flank, staring at her cutie mark for a few moments, then sighed.
The one secret she had never told anyone... Berry Punch didn’t know what her cutie mark meant. She simply couldn’t remember when or how she had gotten it. Technically, she didn’t have a special talent... Technically...she was a still...a blank flank....
“I’m useless... I’m completely useless.” She thought and frowned, reaching for the mug once more.
*sip*
*sip*
*sip*
Suddenly another pony entered the bar. It was Derpy Hooves, the wall-eyed mailmare of Ponyville. The pegasus just raised her hoof to wave when, suddenly, she stumbled and crashed into a table.
The bartender facehoofed.
Derpy got back on her hooves, shaking her head. “Oops, my bad!” she called.
Berry watched the clumsy mare for a few more minutes. Then she suddenly realized:
“Derpy doesn’t really have a special talent either. Her cutie mark is bubbles. What kind of talent is that supposed to be? ...and she’s a single mom, too...and still...she seems so happy and easygoing all the time... She never seems to worry about anything... Maybe that’s what I’m failing at. Maybe I should just accept what I am... Maybe I should just try to be...happy...”
She took another sip and slowly stood up on her hind legs, clearing her throat audibly. She looked into the audience. Except from Derpy, nopony seemed to even notice her. However, she started to babble:
“Listen up everypony, I’ve...” She hiccuped. “...I‘ve got something...to tell you!”
She made an unnecessary dramatic pause.
“I’m an aclho...alho...alcoholic!”
...
“You don’t say?” The bartender mumbled.
Berry shot him an angry glare, then continued.
“Yes, I’m an alcoholic...and I’m bucking proud of it! No matter what you say, you will never put me down.
*sip*
“I’m invincible!” she shouted.
*sip*
“Yeah Berry Punch, wahooooooo!” Derpy cheered from the back of the bar, throwing her forelegs in the air, just to fall back and crash into a chair.
The bartender tried to pull Berry back down, but she tossed his hoof away.
“I don’t need you!”
*sip*
“I don’t need any of you!”
*sip*
“I’m the queen of the wo--” Her ranting was unceremoniously cut off as she sicked all over the bar in front of her.
…
“Eww, now that’s gross...” she said, half laughing.
...
*sip*
I...
I'm so confused. Like, that's usually not a good thing? But it somehow is? Eurgh.
....
*sip*
The world is yours, Berry Punch. You only need to take it.
The transitions between ideas seemed a bit rocky, like she was starting an entirely new idea regardless if the previous idea was related or not, even when the previous idea was related. I think it was the way you started each new topic with an adverb or exclamation, like, "Indeed, her..." or "However, she..." or "Yes, Berry Punch..." Doing that creates a pause or a disconnect between sentences and within the flow of ideas, and it definitely has its place, but using it too much can make your writing seem choppy and disproportionately paced.
In any case, I think you did a great job writing this. The stream of conscience styled progression worked well, and you did a good job of portraying Berry. I would headcannon this.
1518692 I disagree, partly. That's exactly how a drunk's mind works, bouncing from topic to topic with little or no connections. Not so much stream-of-consciouness, but a cascade - small waterfalls with short streams in between. You do random things, as the mood takes you. I've been there.
That's why this chapter's so good.
1519389
Yeah, I get what you're saying. Like I said, I liked the stream of conscience. My main grievance is just with the flow, not necessarily of ideas, but words and sentences. Starting multiple paragraphs in a row with an adverb, exclamation, catch phrase, colloquialism, or what have you, can stop up the reader's experience. It comes off as too disjointed because the breaks keep happening, even within the same idea.
Oh Berry. Never change.
Remember, kids: don't talk to drunks.
Now we need a story where Ruby Pinch and Dinky Doo hang out and talk about all the embarrassing stuff their moms do.
What the buck is Derpy's special talent?
1532445
I double that.
Okay. Why is it that Berry Punch is usually shown as an alcoholic?
1529138 Something that can be represented by Bubbles. Watching how things move in the air? Bein freindly with her bubbly personality? Who knows?
I can't stop laughing. This anthology never disappoints!!
1540569
The scene where she sneakily drinks straight from the punch bowl. Its just funner to imagine that the punch was ed despite the party being a cute-cienera (I don't know how to spell that) for Diamond Tiara.
I think that it was just a single joke that became a recurring theme in the fandom
1974097community.giffgaff.com/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/44220i5C2199C57CD2D3D1/image-size/original?v=mpbl-1&px=-1
DAT BERRY IS MY WAIFU!!!!
Not even sure what to say about this one. It's sad. I don't buy the alcoholic pony thing. Fandoms can come up with the oddest things lol.
~LATEP