How's It Going, Eh?

by Yip

Bacon and Scarin'

Come on, Loonie! We need to go get our candy before all the little kids get them!

Hey, you wanna calm down? I'm getting the costume on as fast I can!

What are you supposed to be dressed up as? You look kind of orange.

Don't you see the jersey? I'm No. 99, Wayne Coltsky for the Antlerton Foalers!

That's the most overused costume for Canieghdians out there... besides, how are you supposed to scare people on a scary day if you look like the kind of pony to get an autograph from?

I'm a professional, eh? *snicker*

Oh yeah, looks we're on air. I think hosehead here pressed the button on accident when he bumped the recording table—

Oh yeah, go ahead! Blame it on me like you always do! Take off!

Without further ado, I'm Maple Canuck and this is my brother Loonie!

Coohoohoohoo! How's it going, eh?

Hey, that owl hooting thing was clever. Beauty intro.

Wow, a compliment! See, it’s a little scary when he’s being all nice! Getting in the spirit, eh?

Don’t you go tellin’ people that I complimented you. They’ll never let me live it down! Now, because my brother is all orange, you'd think he's getting in the Nightmare Night spirit, right?

Yeah! Just so you know, this is the Nightmare Night broadcast of our show!

I think they're aware, it's Nightmare Night for them too.

You never know with the Equestrians, though. I mean, they don't even hand out syrup on these nights!

I know, eh? It's completely ridiculous! How can you eat your chocolate and stuff without syrup?

See, sometimes you have proper taste like me. Sometimes.

Anyway, we figured we may as well talk here while we're getting ready to go trick-or-treating, since hosehead here takes way too long to get ready.

I've got a lot of stuff to put on, it's cold in Canieghda!

I know it is. I live here.

Oh, well then! We’ve got an expert here! ...So, I can't think of anything to do for this, what do you think Maple?

We could always do an expert column. I don't have anything planned until our Winter Solstice... event.

Keep that quiet, eh?

Okay. Now, Mr. Loonie, PhD—

No, I'm the asking guy.

Be my guest!

No, I won't be your guest! I'm the speaker guy!

I meant you're allowed to... you know what? Just do it.

Okay! We have a PhD in Scariness guy here to talk about Nightmare Night! What's your name?

I'm Maple Canuck, just as always.

Welcome Mr. Canuck! Pleasure to meet you on this scary day! Now, when did you start getting into the business world?

Well, it started with— wait, what? We're supposed to be talking about Nightmare Night! The audience wants it!

Okay, fine. Mr. Canuck, do you know how Nightmare Night began?

Well, I know something must've happened in Equestria with that one pony that one time.

Wow, that was an informative session!

Take off, no need for the sarcasm!

Sarcasm? I was going to go look up what you said!

...Are you kidding me? You know what, never mind. You're ready, we should start wrapping stuff up.

Sounds like a good idea. I have the fan mail for the day with me, maybe we can read it before we go?

Sounds good to me. Here’s one from... anonymous. Lovely. "How's it going, eh? I've always wanted to say that, teehee! Anyway, I really like your show! Maybe for Nightmare Night, you can take the microphone with you and broadcast your trick-or-treating! Wouldn't that be fun?"

That does sound like fun. I think we should do it! But can our microphone do that?

Do what?

You know... work when it’s not connected to the booth?

We’ll just use our Caneighdian magic! Nopony can see us, and they won’t even know how we’re doing this in the first place!

You’re just happy that the audience can’t see your hideous costume! What are you even supposed to be? All I see is some blue costume blanket thingy over you!

I’m Nightmare Moon! You know, with the wavy mane and the stuff she’s got on! I just dressed the sheets so that they’d look like her if I put them on.

Okay, whatever you say!

Jeez... anyway, we should be heading off. After we use our Caneighdian magic, stay tuned for our door-to-door excitement!

We’re just going to a few houses, though. It’s pretty cold outside!

Baby.

***

Here we go, our first house Maple!

Don’t get too giddy, eh?

‘Hi there! I’m— wait just a moment, aren’t you two a little old to be trick-or-treating?’

Nopony’s too old to enjoy Nightmare Night! You should get into the spirit and dress up! Oh, and you’re on the radio, too.

‘Excuse me?! You’re broadcasting everything I’m saying?’

Why, yes. As my brother Loonie said—

She slammed the door.

Yeah, thanks genius. I wasn’t aware that she shut the door straight in my face just as I was talking.

Just making sure! Can never be too careful, eh?

Ugh... just don’t talk for this one. Let me handle the talking, okay?

Fine.

‘My neighbour already warned me about you two. Get off of the street, or I’ll call the police!’

Wow, some ponies really don’t like the spirit of Nightmare Night being shoves in their faces.

You said it. We’re not even that old! Like... thirty! That’s fine, right?

‘Last chance!’

Okay, okay, we’re leaving! Come on, Loonie!

What a hoser, ruining our fun. We better not go to any more houses today, but maybe we can go next year!

Sounds about right. I sure wish ponies had the spirit with them on this day instead of the speed dial for the police department.

Yeah, it’s time to sign off for tonight—

‘Hi Loonie! Hi Maple!’

Oh, hi little colt! How’s it going, eh?

‘Well, I just wanted to let you know that you missed the hockey game. I just left my house after it ended to go trick-or-treating!’

Oh, I thought it was a fan for a second. Oh well— WAIT, WE MISSED WHAT?!

IT’S TERRIBLE!

‘Yeah, it was the Antlerton Foalers against the Trotonto Maple Leafs.’

AND?!

‘Trotonto beat Antlerton 7-1.’

NOOOOOO!

WORST NIGHTMARE NIGHT EVER!

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! HOW CAN THEY BEAT ANTLERTON?!

TAKE OFF, KID!

YEAH, YOU’RE A TERRIBLE LITTLE COLT!

‘Heh... I was kidding. The game was postponed to tomorrow, so that ponies like me could go trick-or-treating!’

…

‘Well, see you guys later! Have a good Nightmare Night!’

…

...Loonie, end the show.

The horror... that was the scariest thing I’ve ever heard...

End the show, Loonie.

Cooroo... Ah, just have a good Nightmare Night. We have to go cry ourselves to sleep, now.

You said it.

Comments

[Yip]

Little late for this one, I suppose.

[High Moon]

[High Moon]

1458003 Thank you for showing me this song. I showed it to my dad and all he did was laugh.

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