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Who's Up First?1,795 words
A Taste of Her Own Medicine1,404 words

A Taste of Her Own Medicine

“I think it’s only fair that the one who got us into this topic should make a contribution,” replied Twilight with a suggestive look toward Rarity.

“Oooooh,” added Pinkie. Everyone else was more than tantalised by the prospect of hearing one of Rarity’s closely guarded secrets.

“Hmm? Oh, little old me? But I couldn’t possibly; just think of my reputation(!)” Rarity gushed, finishing with a melodramatic false faint back into her seat. “I mean really darlings if you think I won’t dish about my own romantic misadventures then I’m afraid you’ve got another thing coming,” she said with an amused grin. “Pick any of my former flings and I’ll happily give you every detail.”

“Fluttershy,” was the immediate response of four of the present ponies; minus one yellow pegasus.

“What?!” cried out Fluttershy as she bolted from her seat. She cleared her throat, “Oh, um, I mean, that’s fine I suppose,” she said as she sank back into her chair.

“Need I remind you girls that I said ‘former’ flings?” asked Rarity, “I’m afraid that as long as she and I are still an item those details remain off-limits.”

Four ponies exhaled a collective groan while Fluttershy sighed in relief.

“Hey, I’ve always wondered, is it true what they say about Fancy Pants?” asked Rainbow Dash.

All eyes were on Rarity at the mention of this particularly hot rumour.

Rarity hung her head back and giggled, “Is it true?! Is Applejack still considering Fluttershy’s earlier offer?(!)”

“Hey now- I uh…,” AJ fumbled her shocked response.

“Ah, ah, ah Applejack, you cannot tell a lie. Besides, it is true. I’m afraid dear old Fancy Pants can’t keep that horn of his pointed in the right direction as it were,” said Rarity.

Most of the mares gave each other knowing looks but Pinkie said, “I don’t get it.”

“He um… prefers the company of stallions, Pinkie Pie,” replied Applejack who was worried she might have just accepted the duty of giving Pinkie ‘the talk’.

“Ohhhh,” Pinkie laughed, “Like Braeburn!”

“Yes Pinkie, but unlike Braeburn, Fancy Pants preferred to keep his inclinations a private matter until quite recently,” said Rarity.

“Shocking(!)” Twilight interjected.

“Oh hush Twilight dear, this is all in good fun. I wouldn’t say anything like this if I didn’t think it was proper. Anyway it’s not as if I made it out of the whole situation unscathed did I? I mean to be used as someone’s beard; well I never!” finished Rarity with a tinge of genuine offense.

“Yeah well, ya were,” snickered Rainbow Dash, with a few supporting chuckles from the rest of the girls.

“Hmmph,” Rarity pouted. “I suppose it all worked out well enough in the end though,” Rarity continued, “After all, I hear he and Prince Blueblood are very happy together.”

“What?!” Twilight yelled.

Applejack shook her head and laughed, “Ya sure know how to pick ‘em Rarity.”

“You got that right,” added Fluttershy with her signature suggestive flick of the eyebrows.

Rarity grew prideful, “Well, I do like to think so. I mean who do you think set them up?”

Twilight spoke up, “Um, between Trenderhoof, Blueblood, and Fancy Pants, have you ever dated a stallion who actually liked mares?”

Rarity became flustered, “Oh but of course! I mean there was- Oh wait no he’s with Toe-Tapper now, who I also dated,” she winced and rushed to find any example to prove them wrong. “Oh! I think Flash Magnus has flirted with me a few times!” she stammered.

The five mares laughed, loudly.

“What? What? What is it?” Rarity pouted and pleaded.

Rainbow Dash put on her best impression of Rarity and answered, “If you think Flash Magnus is straight then I’m afraid you’ve got another thing coming(!)”

Rarity rolled her eyes, “Oh for Celestia’s sake! Are you kidding me?”

The laughter would not subside so soon. “Maybe it’s Rarity putting them all off from ever seeing mares again!” said Pinkie, with cheer in the room only growing.

“Oh come on now, you’re all taking this too far,” Rarity pouted and sulked in her seat.

Fluttershy flew over to her and said, “If it is true then I’m glad because that means there’s less ponies to take my little diamond away.” She finished by nuzzling her marefriend’s nose.

“Oh Fluttershy, you always know just the right thing to say,” Rarity giggled and blushed.

Twilight interrupted them, “Hey, hey, hey! Public display! If we’re done here shouldn’t we move on?”

“You’re right Twilight,” Rainbow Dash, “Perhaps you would like to share with the class?”

Twilight closed the book she had been periodically returning to whenever she grew bored of the conversation. She looked out across the table, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Do your worst.”

Rainbow Dash rubbed her hooves together, “Ohh where to start with Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendzone.”

“Tia told me sooo much about her,” said Fluttershy, "and her little crush."

“Isn't it a little weird for a teacher to date a student?” asked Pinkie Pie.

“You got a point there Pinkie,” said Applejack.

“Well you can’t ask Twilight, considering all that happened between her and Miss Glimmer,” Rarity added.

“Yeeeah, I’d really prefer we not open that can of worms,” said Rainbow Dash with a grimace.

“Oh yes, I nearly forgot about you and Spitfire; I suppose it is the same sort of dynamic isn’t it?” Rarity pondered.

“Uh-uh-uh, I've been humiliated enough for one night. Besides, couldn’t you make the same argument for Discord and Fluttershy?” said Rainbow Dash.

Rarity scoffed, “Oh please Rainbow Dash, we all know who held the leash in that relationship,” she finished with an amused smile.

“Literally!” Pinkie joked. The girls all laughed, but Fluttershy's eyes showed a certain nervousness that suggested she had something to hide.

Rarity took a sip of tea and said, “Now as I recall we were all about to take Twilight on a little trip down memory lane. Can someone refresh my memory as to whom Twilight has actually dated?”

Everypony looked around at each other awkwardly as they played along with the charade.

“Hey! I’ve dated plenty of ponies,” moaned Twilight.

“Now Twilight it ain’t anythin’ to be ashamed of,” said Applejack, “Some ponies just need to find that special someone first.”

“We were just talking about how I dated Starlight!” Twilight was now half on the table waving one hoof in the air.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talkin’ about,” Applejack turned away nonchalantly.

“And Luna, Fluttershy,” Twilight was ready to ramble, unfortunately she lacked the ammunition required. “Tempest Shadow, Flim, um, Big Mac-”

“One date doesn’t count,” said Rainbow Dash with a smarmy smile.

Twilight grew nervous, “I- I think Sunburst might be interested and well there’s-”

“Saayy it,” sang the rest of the girls.

“Stygian,” said a solemn Twilight.

Rarity yelled, “She admitted it!”

“Told ya!” said Applejack, “Now pay up!” Rainbow Dash proceeded to get twenty bits out of her wallet.

“Hello everypony! How are we all doing tonight? I just popped in to-”

“Not now Discord!” the six yelled.

Discord said a simple “Hmph!” and immediately disappeared.

“Even I couldn’t keep a secret that long,” Pinkie said with bewilderment.

“Yeah, yeah, hardy-har-har. I guess you all know now,” Twilight said with her hooves on her hips making faces at her friends.

“Oh Twilight, don’t be such a spoilsport,” Rarity said kindly.

“Seems, like you got off easy,” Twilight replied, peering at her from across the table.

“You’ll get all the good dirt on me once Fluttershy loses interest and leaves me for someone else,” Rarity said aloofly.

Fluttershy shot up like a bullet, “What? N- no I won’t…” Her eyes darted around the room.

“What’s so bad about dating Stygian anyway?” Pinkie asked.

Twilight raised a brow, “Don’t you girls know?” They all shook their heads. “Oh, well, uhhh….”

“What is it Twilie?” Pinkie asked.

“Um, let me tell Rarity first,” she said with a mischievous grin. She walked over to Rarity and leaned into her ear to whisper.

After a few short seconds Rarity’s eye twitched and she immediately broke loose from Twilight’s words. “Ew, ew, ewwww. No, absolutely not! No, no, no, no, no, no! I won’t hear anymore of this, just, euughhhh! I mean honestly! I know he’s from a different time but-” She shuddered, “Oh no, I thought about it again!”

“Uhh, maybe we should take a break,” said Fluttershy

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