Toshiro121
Joined 20th Jun, 2012 ·
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Shadow-Brony approves
I'm not hatin bro but can you at least fix the story up a little bit, I mean a wittle bit of improvement would help
1272945 righto,grammar nazi mode activated!
I know I haven't commented in a while, but I'm still keeping an eye on this. Keep it up.
Need more! Once a shadow was my #2 fav story and i realy like what u doing
1479413 #2 eh? Well I guess that means I gotta work harder
Very nice. Action followed up by a tad of romance. Keep it up.
I'm planning on taking this to Las Pegas next
PS: did you notice the refrence I put in?
Ok, Time for Winter's CCC quickie!
That color scheme. At least its not an alicorn. Trust me, though. You will NEVER see a pony looking like that in FiM. Brown, red, and black don't go very well.
-Winter Storm
TWE's Common Controversy Catcher
i.imgur.com/3lZia.png?1
1502670
thanks for the advice, but I don't really care that much about that. I could change it if you want me to, but I'll probably change it anyways. thanks for letting me know. And just to be clear, the only thing you're complaining about is the colour sheme, correct?
PS: what kind of colour would you guys recommend?
You're getting better and more independent. You're making me proud to call you so- i mean bro.
1503296 Well, I'm working off of my specialty. (Common Controversies)
Part of these include OCs, which often have these traits:
1. Red and Black Mane with black coat.
2. Alicorn.
3. Ridiculous names that fial to be "cool" (How does Bloodsword ShadowWing sound? No joke, I read a story where a guy named his OC this.)
4. Overpowered.
5. Mary Sue/Gary Stu (ties in with Overpowered.)
The only thing your character got close to was the mane color. The thing is, it's not even an issue, per say. I've just found that red and black for a mane/tail color has only ever worked for one pony. Note that she has a white coat. White is pretty much the ONLY color that can go with any other color in the visible spectrum.
th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/222/b/5/welcome_to_the_hoof_by_jinyaranda-d5ankf6.jpg
Blackjack from Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons
right, so in other words you're the only complainer. well, that's a relief, for a minute I was worried I might actually have to change something (Lazy)
Little did they know, I'm too awesome to die
Two chapters in two days?
1618510 I felt like i was getting a bit behind in my work, so I decided to make 2 chapters in two days. sorry if they seem rushed
President Hoover and Superman. Well, it looks like I found a new best bud
Good idea about the steel plate for the crotch. Never forget that fateful day when Shadow possibly lost his ability to have children.
That is a very convenient body disposer
1648064
you never know what you might need disposing of, that's why 9/10 ponies recommend this product. the 10th pony was diposed of.
Conflictions of love interest combined with inside rebellion? There is more to this story than one would think.
I'm literally about to post my next chapter, so maybe you can get an idea or two off of it. Still a great story, keep it up.
Oh noez
1727549
oh noez?
Ya got stabbed, so yeah. Oh noez
I dare say you were successful in stabbing him in the eye.....and Necro Fillyiac? That's super fucked up dude
first
...after months???
1740855
well, so is he.
1741536 Lol, I'd think so. In all fairness though, if my parents gave me that name, I'd probably turn out to be a genocidal necromancer bent on the torture and eradication of all life as well.
You've vastly improved over the time you've been writing this. It is obvious now, looking back at previous chapters. I look back at my story, and I see that I've improved as well. Keep improving, and maybe one day you'll surpass the master
1779319
speaking of which, when is your next chapter coming out? just curious
1779598 Can't say for sure. I've got about 4 or 5 pages so far. I'd like to have it out before Judgement Day ;) but idk.
One of my friends' OC is named Shadow Flash, but he is a unicorn (shipped with Pinkie Pie)
1868706 My OC is shipped with my own r63 OC.
isn't it sad that the side story pumps out chapters than the actual story?
1870172
I wouldn't say it's sad, I'd just say that 'the grass is greener on the other side'.
PS: I'm pretty sure you can see where the next chapter is going
Seems like they deserved a good ole fashioned ass-kicking.
About that author note, you just stated news months old. Sorry to be a buzzkill :P (Gewd chapter)
1880384
Hey, not EVERYBODY knew it. besides, I thought it would be nice to let people know who's with us
1880423 You're right, sorry. Sometimes my hipster side takes over. If it happens again, I want you to smother me with a pillow in my sleep.
Heheh, nice joke with Soarin.
What is this?! Another dislike? *loads shotgun* Right, who did it!?
Dun dah nah nah! Here is the mystery pony from the chapter! He will be appearing in my finale chapter. So listen up bronies: read, you and your friends need to read more than the others. simple fic war mathematics right? (Reference to one of Vaa's qoutes from Far Cry 3 Multiplayer)
th01.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/i/2012/338/2/7/vaas_pony_by_lbfable-d5n3k4b.jpg
Also, there will be multiple surprise twists during the finale (as if I didn't already have enough), just to make sure no one gets confused when Shadow Brony's chapter comes out (as there may be one or two things that may contradict each other).
Nice, nice, nice. Very nice. Glad to have you doing this. You give yourself too little credit though. You're a great writer bro, although the action went by kinda fast. Everything else, however, was magnificent. Now, I'll probably modify my chapters up to #5 or so, then publish either my new story, another once a shadow chapter, or a from war to war chapter. Whichever permits itself first. One more thing, Blaze is actually a character from the show. Although not named, she's in it. (I got the idea of putting her in the story from browsing the wonderbolt's names in the mlp wiki :P) Anyway, good luck to you in the future, and it may be i who writes a side-story for one of your stories, or even a collab. We'll see where it takes us. KBAI
well, I feel stupid