Rex Rice survived on the Rimworld for two years. He believed that he would face adversity for the rest of his life, as the Rimworld see's to it that you fail. However, fate seems to have something else in store.
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Well. This chapter got dark in a big damn hurry.
Kinda wish these were longer.... they seems so g0od but then it ends.... it really tocks me off, but hey what can ya do?
Also it seems like this is a journal of sorts... maybe add a date or something to make it seem more immersive?
Also maybe make a discord so you can quickly alert and interact with fans. I know for a fact, despite only just finding this I'd love to talk to ya. :p
10342444
Dark indeed.
10342452
Yeah, my plan is to write longer chapters when I have the time to.
I write mainly long chapters for my story 'Solaire and HIs Sun' and it made me realize just how long it takes to write an 7,000 word chapter. However, with time, it certainly will get longer.
The discord idea is interesting! I might do that actually, thank you for the idea.
10342459
Oh! No problem! I could even help set it up if ya want... my Discord Tag is Kindle#1337 just DM on there!
10342463
I'll be sure to send a request soon!
10342475
Cool thanks! I look for toward the request and a chat. XD
Everything about the chapter is fine but that ending was little too dark for me
That....... that was some This War of Mine levels of horror. Holy hell...
That's dark, holy shit. The Rim is a nasty and uncaring place, and Twilight is now getting to really see that first hand. I wonder how many graves Rex has dug so far for all the raiders (and now baby) that have died at his or his turrets hands. To make matters worse, whoever put that baby in the drop pod probably did it in a last ditch effort to save their lives from what was happening in their spaceship, knowing that they themselves wouldn't make it. The more I think about it the sadder it gets.
On a more lighthearted note, I'm sure putting a wood fired generator in your bedroom is totally safe, yep, totally. Also fun fact, the generators in game actually emit heat, so that heater probably isn't dong anything. I first learnt this when I was making a mountain base, and wanted to move absolutely everything, including power generation, under the mountain. Sticking 10 chemfuel generators in a room with just a 1 wide corridor for refueling can raise the temperature to like 120C as I saw when the guy refueling started getting heatstroke.
Damn... the end of this chapter was dark, yet it's Rimworld. It cares not for the sanctity of life or the morality of man (or ponies). Still, props to not holding back, makes Twilight's reaction more real.
Wonder what her first contact will be with other humans, a caravan or a raid?
Huh. Is Rex a lone surviour, leave and start his own colony, or what? Also, drop pod with a baby is horrifying, and I have to wonder what kind of deathtrap droppods are. Always a ton of random injuries.
The end of this chapter just got dark
I was at the edge of my seat wondering what sort of bad thing was going to happen from Rimworld's repertoire of really bad things that inevitably happen.
At least this only left them with emotional scarring.
That went zero to sixty real fucking quick. And I'm willing to bet they're gonna get hit with something after the fact too.
10342516
Oh I shouldve thought of the heat it generated.
Dang! Well, perhaps ill simply remove the heater later on.
10342620
Rex is a survivor of a trade ship that was attacked, so he was forced into an escape pod and released to a random planet.
10343381
Two years ago? And he knows about losing people on raids?
10342867
That's Rimworld to you
Well...He couldn't protect Twilight from the disaster level event, and that's a fuckin bruh moment since I'm pretty sure she'll have PTSD about children from now on.
10344017
Oh I know, I once got three consecutive raids, two from multiple directions and one consisting of artillery fire. If I didn't have an Archaeotech Shield Belt and the Run and Gun mod...
Eh, i kind of fail to see why you would like to add dead baby in the story, as i recall no such thing exist in the game and there are plenty of dark narratives that could be woven with the material at hand. In my mind you might be trying to push "the darkness" a bit too fast, this was true in my mind in the beginning of the story too when our survivor decided to take Twilight hunting on day two.
Just something that popped into my mind as i read this.
10344951
Perfectly reasonable.
I do see that, and I was initially going to take the story slower and slower.
Though I wanted to portray Rimworld as a cursed planet, bringing anything on it down to its knees and kicking it while they're down. In realistic world conditions, things like this don't happen, atleast not in this way. However, Rimworld can very easily break you within a couple of days, or even hours. I can see how adding the dead baby certainly makes it seem like I'm trying to force the idea of darkness onto the reader though.
I know there isn't any dead babies in the game, though I'm taking creative liberty from the source material. I wanted to use the basic idea's of Rimworld, and add other things to make it seem less like a game, and more perceivable as something that could be real, despite how unrealistic it is.
Still, I hope that you like the story somewhat, or at-least enjoyed the read. Thank you for your insight!
Thanks again IncandescentSolaire for another awesome chapter. Love all the dialog between rex and twilight. Talk about a dark introduction to Rimworld for twilight with the baby. I'm curious to see how this planet changes twilight during her stay. Good luck with your next chapter, and as always have fun writing.
10345617
The story is decent, no real large bumps on the road other than those two instances so far. I like the idea and concept and will be reading further no worries, this is just lil old me rambling about things that annoy me.
10346297
Well I very much enjoy the rambling. I'd rather have people explain to me what they like and dislike, whether it's a personal preference or not.
I enjoy all types of insight, whether they praise or criticize! I think it helps me improve my ability to write.
10345700
Thank you, and I will definitely have more fun writing!
@.@, i...- oh god i think imma be- 🤢 no....... i'm good, i've seen the slaughterfest Anime CPTS, (Corpse Party Tortured Souls) i can handle this....... indhales, exhales, i'm good, btw, i reconmend you do NOT watch that Anime if your easy to faint or something,
Welp, you caught me off guard. I can't decide if I like who was in the pod because, That's Rimworld Baby! Or if I dislike it because Rimworld explicitly avoids children in storytelling.
10343395
Of course he does. The tradeship opening is a three colonist start.