Rex Rice survived on the Rimworld for two years. He believed that he would face adversity for the rest of his life, as the Rimworld see's to it that you fail. However, fate seems to have something else in store.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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How confusing will this story be? I won't read it if it's too confusing.
I think the main issue is that you just can't pull things like that ouy of nowhere, not as a fanfic writer, at least not this early in the story. Celestia is pre-established, and there weren't any signs of the massive OOC behaviour before the event. If this were original fiction, where two ruler sisters entered a new land, and one betrayed the other, and eventually you learn that a reformed demon was responsible for corrupting the betrayer, it would honestly be great storytelling. However, Celestia has a known personality and traits, loves and trusts her sister. Given her refusal to so much as fight Lyna in the past, this is blatent OOC behaviour with no forshadowing or similar.
I feel that you need to have had more scenes earlier with Celestia. Have a meeting with Discord, Possibly in a dream. Have her behaviour shift afterwards, or have another POV wonder about how Celestia doesn't seem as patient anymore, or as serene. Add buildup, so that while it would be a surprise, there was clearly something going on with her.
I honestly agree with you that Discord could have been handled better in the show, although I am still grinding my way through season 5. But I've seen him turn out to be still evil/betray the ponies again in fanfictions, and it works.
Speaking to the author's note: I told myself you'd lost me back with what happened after they got taken to Tarbo's base. Out of morbid curiosity, I pushed on. As far as Celestia and Luna, it's just the sheer level of Idiot Ball going on that irks me. It's THIS chapter that hit the hardest, though, because it's a confirmation that Celestia really was being stupid. I was expecting that the whole deal with Luna was a ploy to split up Tarbo's forces and plant an agent in his ranks to learn the truth.
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They definitely could have done better with Discord. I mean at least keep his character consistent. He said in his first appearance that "It get's lonely in stone Celestia but you wouldn't know that because I don't turn ponies to stone." And what does he do at the end of the show? Turns Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow to stone. Maybe when he first appeared it would be understandable that he would do this, but he changed his ways a while before the end of the show, and while he was still a huge jerk, he wasn't the downright sadistic bastard he once was.
Restricting diaphragm movement is death.
10464107 Assuming that a paralysis spell completely freezes the target, then that means a state of suspended animation. What Celestia did to Luna in that case is equivalent to placing her in cryosleep (or cryptosleep as it's called in this universe). That means you don't need to eat, sleep, or breathe.
10464036
That makes sense.
I've learned now that steady buildup is required in order to establish set plotlines. I've realized that mistake with the last chapter.
However, I don't want to go back and edit chapters before. Those who have stuck around so far will miss it, and as far as I'm concerned, it's better to leave mistakes in. It's a sign of improvement the later the story gets.
But you are right, for sure.
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Even though you gave up on the story earlier, I thank you for reading still. That's more than I deserve.
I suppose I wanted to make it seem that Celestia, although benevolent, is not all above everybody else. People are blinded by emotion and stupid sightlines, and will act based upon it. Age does not define wisdom, and as we have seen in the show, it's proven that Celestia and Luna have both made their fair share of quite embarrassing mistakes.
I think the one thing that has me messing up my own writing is the fact that I know the future of the story and where its headed, while other readers do not. That influences my writing to the point where I don't acknowledge the fact that others don't know what is going to happen. It's a problem, and I plan to fix it.
I hope that if you have not liked my story, that I atleast have been able to give something. Thank you for commenting.
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The current chapter states pretty clearly that it isn't the case
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I love discord very much in the show.
But, I agree.
The handling on Discord was quite poor the more the show grew. I wanted to see Discord as a being of chaos, not as someone who could easily be swayed by simple acts of kindness. When he turned evil once again with Tirek, I rooted for him. The return to evil was going to make things especially quite interesting.
However, they went with the trope that 'bad guy throws other bad guy under bus to have full power.'
It's a trope that can either be well done, or poorly executed, and in my opinion it was poorly executed.
Plus, he does turn the other villains into stone. And, I will go as far as to say that Celestia and Luna were childish in letting him do so. Many people seem to have the notion that Celestia and Luna are above criticism because they're older and wiser, and run a country. Yet, they put a small young pony into stone, a fate that's possibly worse than death. Instead of redemption, they chose instant judgement.
Despite all of their previous attempts at redemption with plenty of other villains, they simply went straight to that. Their hatred and childish antics got in the way, atleast in my opinion. They held a hatred because they were close to actually overthrowing the Princess'. They felt vulnerable, and scared in ways they hadn't before. Instead of showing confidence, and persevering through that fear, they went to get rid of the root of it. Which is to imprison them all.
Even if it was a small pony.
10464110
Correct.
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It's not exactly like it, but it's related to it.
Cryosleep that you can think, and see through, I suppose.
Essentially, her internal organs and such are suspended, while her brain and eyes are free to think and see.
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I.e. basically what happens if someone's heart stops. That causes brain death in a couple of minutes.
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Magical properties will likely stop that.
Magic tends to have little to no scientific explanation. For example, being able to discharge large amounts of energy without causing heat-damage to a horn, or atleast expanding the heat into the air. Or, being able to fly without having the proper bone-structure for flying.
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Ponies are able to survive decapitation?
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In fairness when it came to Tirek's betrayal fits him very well, all things considered. He was very power hungry, I mean that is literally his reason for everything he does. Discord was the only who could actually challenge him, so he removed that threat. As for Discord betraying the ponies, i agree that it made sense for him to do so given his nature. However I feel like the reason he trusted Tirek is for three reasons. One, having hung around ponies(specifically Fluttershy) he has become a bit more trusting and softer in general. Second, he needed Tirek because he wanted to let him do all of the work, less he risk getting turned back to stone, this time probably forever. Finally, he has been shown to be cocky and overconfident, and has also never had to work with others before, and has terrible social skills, and little normal life experience. These facts combined in a way that lead him to believe that Tirek could be trusted, at least enough to follow through on his part, because the way Discord saw it Tirek had no reason to betray him as their goals aligned according to Tirek. Also Tirek gave him a very tempting offer that alone could have lead Discord to making the bad decision either way.
Laughs manically in Daybreaker,
10464136
Imprisoning Cozy like this, and her previous imprisonment never sat right with me(still doesn't). I was of the angle that she was a child, no matter what she did, so surely they should at least try to reform her like many other villains. Then I thought about it more. Who was she turned to stone with? Lord Tirek and Queen Chrysalis. Both villains given chances to change, both of which turned them down in favor of power and revenge, and nearly overthrew the Equestrian government alongside Cozy, so it's understandable why they weren't given chances to cause any more problems. Especially considering that both have abilities that cold be very dangerous, what with Chrysalis' ability to change into anypony, and Tirek's ability to steal magic. But what about Cozy? She's just a pegasus, why is she put in the small list of villains not reformed, alongside a dark magic wielding slaver king, a centaur who can steal any magic he wants, a being made entirely of dark magic, another tyrant who nearly stole all alicorn magic, and yet another tyrant who would steal the love of all ponies to fuel her power(lots of tyrants)?
Simple.
It's the same reason why she is my favorite villain from the show itself(Sombra is my favorite from non cannon sources). Because despite having no magic, she is a master manipulator. She played her pieces perfectly, and as a result would have succeeded in her plan if not for the Deus Ex Machima of the Tree of Harmony intervening at the last moment. Any attempts to reform her would be near impossible, as she could possibly fake a reformation. And if there is a possibility that she did so, they will have to keep an eye on her, but trust and honesty are huge parts of friendship, and if she found at, and it turns out she really was reformed and not faking it, she could become bitter and spiteful, and it would literally render any progress pointless in the first place. But they also can't leave her unchecked, because as I previously mentioned, she is a master manipulator, and could enact another plan, one that may succeed. But there is more, something else that keeps them from considering even trying. She said that "friendship isn't magic, friendship is power". She believes in a twisted, corrupted form of one of their founding ideals that is the core of their country, all the way to its founding. Not only that, but she would use this twisted ideology for her personal gain. This is something that Celestia and Luna would overlook, let alone forgive. Combined with the huge risk of trying to reform her, they chose to stone her. At least Chrysalis and Tirek could be restrained magically, but Cozy's power lies not in magic, but in words. That is what makes her too great of a risk. I'm not saying that what they did was "right" necessarily, but it was probably the best decision they could have made save killing her, which is something they would never do.
Why do I have the feeling that Celestia paralyzed Luna on purpose so that she could gather Intel for her without her realizing. I'm pretty sure that any paralyzation spell would be easy to fight off for Luna if she had any idea it was coming. That's why Celestia didn't tell her about the plan as she probably doesn't trust Tarbo at all and knowing Luna is the one that's more combative she didn't want to have her around to ruin the plan by attacking the Leader of the group they met as the knowledge and resources are useful. So she decided to make a two prong plan have one of her most trusted allies Luna herself gather information from the grunts who would be talkative while watching her the other half being Celestia herself following Tarbo to make sure that she had her suspicions confirmed that Tarbo is actually a bad man.
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I'm curious to see this be the case, as it has popped into my head as I read this. Still, with the way Luna thought about Celestia there near the end, something tells me that even if this was the plan it might've gone tits up. We'll see, the author could throw us a hell of a curveball that neither of us expects too.
Really enjoying this so far. Hell got me wanting to play Rimworld again. Anyways thanks for the awesome read and I hope to see more soon!