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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hell yeah
Hell yeah
I see Gilda made a mess in the kitchen while making dinner. But at least it was a good mess ;3
Oof, that was a dark chapter... Poor Gabby.
Gah. I been meaning to read this story for a while now and now after 2 days of reading I've cought up and now need to wait for the next chapter. Gah.
It's so good. I love it. Good pacing. Good characterization. Good story. Good romance. Good everything.
Now to wait for another chapter.
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
this makes me the happiest griff!
Not sure if intentional, but looks like some runaway italics at the end of this chapter.
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ACK! I shall fix!
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You should be a happy griff for you have made a fantastic story. It makes all us other griff happy as well reading it.
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Looks good
Certainly some interesting developments this chapter. The part about her father's friends was certainly the most unsettling, especially with its implications. Just because Gabby's father is dead, doesn't mean that would apply to any or all of his friends. And now Gilda has their names and thus targets to direct her anger. I don't know if you were foreshadowing it, when you mentioned Gilda opening the bakery the next day, but I can easily see one of these toms walking in for a coffee and scone and then Gilda beating him within an inch of his life. Am very curious where this is going to go in the immediate future.
And of course, as always, beginning with the corrections
v Capitalization section goes here v
after gabby had calmed down
where he'd invited othersto the house
Forgot a space there
She rest there for almost an hour
Just a little hiccup with the grammar, would flow better as either "She'd rest" or "She rested"
Judging bythe smaller hen's reactions
Guess you started to... space out. Eh? Eeeeeh? No, not funny? Alright, I'll stop ^v^
Here eyes found Gabby
Need to shave an E off the end there.
And that's all I noticed, now for me to ball up in my nest and cry myself to sleep due to that opening from Ivy's perspective ;v;
Good as always though, the same quality I've grown to expect from each chapter now ^v^
I'll try to read the next chapter tomorrow, but it's midnight now and I gotta be up early so yeah, sleepy birb time.
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I hope you enjoy the next one then ^^
Okay, I’m ready to read sexy stuff happening between Gilda and Gabby in the next chapter. Also I’m glad Gabby’s father is dead already as otherwise I would have wanted him beaten to a pulp by Gilda. Is it possible to bring him back from the dead, give him severe pain, suffering and punishment, then kill him again in the worse and painful way possible?
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i mean...the ancient art of blood magic has some options, but good luck trying to pry that book from twilight's library...