• Member Since 26th Mar, 2020
  • offline last seen February 28th

Knight_of_hope


Was inspired to write, and write shall I do.

Comments ( 63 )

I know this is a bit different from the usual, but I wanted to make something original. Anyways, criticism is appreciated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh0yAzpGAzA

Also, take note that when our group of hotheaded Spaniards were at the start were speaking between each other, they weren’t speaking in english, but in spanish, but it’s translated for you dear readers.

Comment posted by Miles Skywalker deleted Mar 28th, 2020

You don't put the end marks inside of the quotations unless it is actually the end of the sentence or the end of a paragraph. Doesn't matter the end mark, be it exclamation point, period or question mark. Also, keep it simple. Don't drag sentences out longer than you need to.

“We are going to absolutely demolish those bastards!”, exclaimed Hugo to the boys.

"We are going to absolutely demolish those bastards," Hugo exclaimed to the other boys.

“Hey hey hey boys, you didn’t bring knives right? Because we don’t wanna kill each other.”, said Felipe, in a tone that implied that he was a bit worried.

"Hey, hey, hey boys. You didn't bring knives, right? Because we don't wanna kill each other," Felipe said in a worried tone.

“Why?”, asked Sebastián.

"Why," asked Sebastián.

“This does not look like any forest near Madrid.”, said Felipe.

I'm going to guess that since you mentioned Madrid, English is not your first language, correct?

10151839
That is correct, but I am decent at speaking English. Also, thank you for all the tips!

10151832
Also, as a side note, I’m not trying to drag out the conversations. It’s just how these guys speak between themselves. Anyways, thank you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvf6gz58xnI

And that’s another one! How do you guys think it is? Any criticism or tips? What do you think of the (admittedly not too fleshed out [yet]) characters?

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On the first one. Yeah, you kinda right. But only for the moment. I was thinking ahead of that, and actions will be taken. On the second one. You are wrong. Nor once is it mentioned that he thinks that humans are evil, and he regrets that he tried to magically kick them. He is also grateful that his magic was nullified, and he is amazed by them. He also bears no Ill will towards them. But thanks for the criticism!

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Oh no, I get it, but that is not how it is gonna go. Pssst. Do you want me to tell you how it will go?

10158752
It may come out today! It’s pretty emotional, if I say so myself. And I know that there are a few clichés, but I’m a starting writer! I gotta use some tropes to get comfy. Thanks for all the criticism!

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Also, yeahhh, starting in the Everfree Forest may be a bit cliched, but they won’t stay there much time, and they’ll go to a lot of places ( griffinstone, Minotaur land, yachtyackistan, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera), and I didn’t start balls deep in the Everfree, I started in a relatively safe one.

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Yeahhh, sorry, it’s that yesterday I had a lot of work, and I said I’d release it that day, so it was a bit of a lower quality than intended. Today there won’t be a chapter either, so sorry! And thanks for the criticism!

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Alright, I’m back to business. Also to answer the question ‘bout Twilight, she was a bit bossy because she was given permission by Celestia to command everything, so she felt a bit offended that Sharp Slice tried to walk all over her, and she felt a bit entitled to answer back. When she was done she wanted to get the hell outta there as fast as possible. Expect a chapter coming soon, but not today. Also, yeah, I need to improve my conversations, but writing is hard man!

Is it wrong that I thought Rainbow Dash would appear in the chapter titled Gay colored horse?

Hey guys, any criticism is appreciated. Also, as a wise man once said: “The flow of time itself is convoluted; with heroes centuries old phasing in and out.”, which means that some things will not be 100% loyal to the canon series timeline, but I won’t do outrageous things, and I will use that to my favor. Knight of hope, out!

Finally got out of the Everfree Forest! Good lord, I didn’t want to stay in there for a long time, since there’s nothing really interesting in the forest apart from timberwolves and manticores, and the old castle of the sisters, but there is nothing important for the story at the moment. Also,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uAZdIJIl8o

this is the stupid song that just so happened to be the first one. Any and all criticism is welcome, and stay safe!

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Oh yeah, that will be explained in Canterlot in a future chapter.

10193964
Also, do note that I won’t do this Twilight like in other stories were you literally hate her with all of your soul and being, just that sometimes she will make a few mistakes that without the full context, they seem really bad. Also, thanks for all the criticism so far from you!

I am very happy with how this chapter turned out. Tell me your thoughts!

i.ibb.co/WvHVVPT/DE3-A43-F6-9-E37-4049-9-A3-C-644-CD093-BA48.gif

Well, as you can see, she’s a bitch. And damn am I feeling good lately. Also, the part where she ask the their last words? I actually asked my friend what would they be, and this where there answers. Anyways, any criticism is greatly appreciated.

Well looks like blood is the way

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What they did was foolish, and their chances of survival are abysmally low. They are probably said blood.

True but then again. They got sun cunt about to come down on them hard and brutal. I would go for griffins or Changlings. They are know at war with Equestria. Kill or be killed at this point. Channel that iner marine

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They are teenagers, not marines. They never ever killed someone, and don’t want to.

Hey it happens. And Spaniards has the best win streak until the world wars. For some reason they scare me as much a my drill sergeants. Imagine a french men screaming I’m going to use u as a condemn while I skull fuck u. Lol. I’d sit in a area filled with ap mines

This seems interesting. I'll put it on my read list.

10244124
Now that... seems like a really weird animated porn short found on the dark side of the internet. Damn.

Now, I gotta say that they got really lucky. But let me tell you, they won’t get that lucky again.

Finally updated it boys. Tell me what you think.

Alfredo picked up a rock and threw it to the face of the bear. The bear made a whiny sound when it hit directly to it’s snout, and Hugo and Julio started shouting at it, and started swinging the branches that they just picked up at it. The bear was confused and scared because the beings that it had never saw before started shouting at him and throwing rocks to his face. He could get badly hurt. He had to get out. And, with that thought at the front of his mind, he turned around and started running faster that he ever did his entire life.

Poor Bear

Maybe it’s Africa? Nah, we would be hearing little kids dying of hunger.” Said Julio. At this, the group chuckled a little bit.

That’s f*cked up, but at the same time.

“Alright, I’m right in front of you guys! There are just a few branches in the way.” Yellow Drive then started ripping away little branches without using magic. Ponies really weren’t much without magic, and he wanted to use the least amount posible.

He has magic?

Yellow Drive made it out of that accursed forest, and he started panting on the ground. “Buck...”, he said, but, before he could do anything else, he started coughing up blood. He had to make it to the hospital quickly, and he had to inform princess Twilight Sparkle about these dangerous creatures as soon as posible.

A haymaker made him cough up blood?

“I don’t know. It looked like a baby pucked all over a tiny ass horse,” answered Hugo.

What does that mean?

“What’s the problem? You brought a fucking knive when we were going to a fight! We all insisted to not use knives,” said Julio with a frown in his face.

Does the fight even matter any more?

“And? I didn’t bring a knive, I brought a multipurpose tool ,” said Hugo with confidence.

Ok, I actually laughed at that part.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Recently, an unknown creature has attacked Yellow Drive, an earth pony and one of the residents of Ponyville, in a area near the Everfree Forest were there has never been documented an attack before. The creature was accompanied by others of the same species, and it is said to be bipedal, strong legs and arms, and a height towering over the likes of minotaurs. I request that you send a platoon of royal soldiers to Ponyville to keep guard. This is a serious matter since somepony was badly hurt, and there could be more cases.

Your royal student friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

P.S. Yellow Drive went to the forest because he heard voices calling for help, so they might be intelligent, which makes them more dangerous!

Did she start the letter over?

Princess Celestia re-read the letter two times, and a frown appeared in her face. A creature had attacked Ponyville! Oh no! It’s not like there was at least one attack every month from the Everfree Forest ever month! Oh, the tragedy! But she still had to send some guards to Ponyville, because if she didn’t then that would show some kind of weakness, however small it was, and all the other nobles from Canterlot would start rumors and try to make her fall from good graces. She really had to do this, didn’t she? Of course she had to, but maybe she could get something out of this.

Damn, Celestia getting tired of this princess sh*t.

With all of that well and done, she went to her personal hot springs to have a much needed relaxation time.

Some Princess

The statement that he said was agreed upon everyone in the past that dying from hunger was one of the top ten lamest ways to die.

What are the others?

“Are you really gonna go in there because you read something in google? Also, you might be sneaky, but horse have eyes that can look all around them,” said Sebastián.

Like a Chameleon?

“Dude, I was in front of him, and I saw that they didn’t have the eyes of a horse. They were facing forward, like a human. Guys, there is no need to worry. I got this,” said Hugo.

Is that true?

“Yeah! Remember Felipe, we will be back before you can say ducks,” said Hugo one last time, before going their way with Julio for supplies.

“Ducks,” whispered Felipe.

Too late for that joke, but good try.

He was in a bad condition. He had bandages across his face, ribs and left eye. He also has a cast for his left limb, and he had an IV providing nutrition to his veins. Twilight Sparkle was so embarrassed.

How fragile are these ponies?

“What I’m trying to say is that I bucked it with all of my strength and magic in its stomach,” said Yellow Drive.

He’s physical strength?

What they saw was something insulting to nature itself. It was one of those tiny ponies soaring through the sky. This one was purple, and it was flapping it “wings” painfully slow, and said appendages were too little compared to the rest of its body. It somehow did not noticed them, since it did not looked alarmed.

“They can fly,” Hugo asked incredulously.

“That pony should crash to the ground and break its neck! That make no damn sense,” exclaimed Julio.

Aren’t their wings the same size as their body’s? Also, is that twilight?

“When I count to three, you grab that bitch and don’t let her scream. She is not understanding us because if she knew spanish, she would have run the second I said that, okay,” said Hugo.

They are speaking Spanish?

“That’s enough for the report, general. We want to capture the creatures as soon as posible since they could hurt more po- ejem intelligent creatures . Please do note that one of the creatures has been capable of hurt and win a direct confrontation with an earth pony, and it’s suspected that they are resistant to magic, as you already said. Avoid direct confrontation at all cost, and please be careful,” said Twilight, scorching herself for the intelligent creatures commentary.

That kinda sounds like she’s only looking out for ponies.

The skin crawling scream could be heard all across Ponyville. The two guards that where watching the street bellow looked alarmingly at each other, and so did the guard that was coming to replace the spot. The three pegasus did not say anything to each other, they simply flew to as fast as possible to the house just bellow, and occasion that two shadows took advantage while guffawing and carrying bags and a stick.

“STOP, ROYAL GUARD,” exclaimed the only male pegasus.

Did he see them?

“So that’s why she talks that way! Huh, interesting. Anyways, how do you think she’s in sex? A top, or a bottom,” asked the first mare pegasus.

That’s what guards talk about these days?

“Don’t say that. Those two are sneaky as fuck, and, if they are discovered, Hugo has a big stick to swing around, and Julio can punch al Jojo style.

What does that look like?

“Anyways, here’s the food. We have apples, pie, cupcakes, muffins, pickles, cookies, oranges, all that good shit,” said Hugo while getting out each mentioned food.

Damn, they didn’t save Sugar Rush sh*t.

“Oh, dude, I’m that part in the anime were Zoro encounters the black dude who says “I have a 0% chance of being defeated” and Zoro started getting assblasted by this nigga,” said Julio excitedly.

Please tell me Julio is black.

The night wasn’t really chilling, it was actually kinda nice. They did not knew how to make a fire, so they used the flashlights of their mobile phone’s.

To see or to keep warm?

“Dude, there is no problem. True chads crie on their friends shoulders,” said Julio while smiling.

Don’t know if that’s true.

What had she done to deserve this. Apart from some shady jobs for Celestia.

I need some more information on that.

“I’m sorry princess, but I have more military knowledge and training than you do. Don’t interrupt me,” said Sharp Slice when she watched the Princess opening her mouth, which she closed inmediatly. ”I think that I know how to handle the situation better than you just ‘cause you read some books. So, let me manage my troops however I want and leave me be,” said the griffin while jabbing a blunter claw in the ponies chest. She walked past her.

“I said no. Don’t interrupt me,” said Twilight when she saw the griffin opening her beak, which she shut. “Even though you may not like it, I’m your superior, so you follow my orders and inform me about everything that you do. And you know why I take this seriously? Because somepony got hurt badly, and I don’t want that to happen to anyone. So, if you think you can just trot all over me, then you are sorely mistaken. You will know follow my orders. Is it understood,” asked Twilight in a equally dangerous tone.

I’m having trouble seeing who’s right and who’s wrong.

“Which brings another point. If what Julio and Hugo saw was right, they saw a griffin, which means that there may be other species,” said Samuel while he tapped his head. “And, if there are other species, then they might have some experience with first contacting new species, because there are three different pony species living together, and, if biology’s right, the ones without wings and horns fuck the ones without wings and horns, the ones with wings fuck the ones with wings, etcetera. So, they know that being different is not inherently bad, so it gives us more of a chance for a peaceful encounter.”

What the f*ck did he just say?

“Sure, there are some questions, and it may be a bit shaky, but it’s the best I can come up with. And it’s not me being smart, it’s me using logic. Do they have military? There must be wars. Are there wars? Some laws must’ve formed. Are there laws for war? Then there are laws for the mundane. I know that it looks that I’m reaching for straws, but I honestly think it’s the best chance we have,” Samuel said plainly. “Also, they speak english, so we have that as well.”

I don’t know much about laws, so I’ll just roll with it.

“Today I confronted the griffin general.”

The dragon gasped.

“No way! Yo could have gotten yourself in trouble,” said Spike worriedly, but Twilight wasn’t alarmed at all.

She giggled even more now.

“Oh Spike, no trouble will come from this. Really, it was incredible! She was being so mean to me for no reason at all, so I stated the fact that I was in a higher command that hers, and boom! She obeyed my orders! And I was sooooo scared, Spike, yet I was brave enough to tell her what she deserved. Really, you should have seen it. This also proves a minor experiment that I did not have the time or resources to try, yet today’s event confirms it,” at this, Twilight then clopped her hooves rapidly to show her excitement.

Something tells me that’s gonna bite her in the a**. Also, what experiment?

“Oh, Spike! Please, send this letter real quick to Princess Celestia, please,” at this, Twilight levitated a scroll that was in her backpack.

What does the letter say?

“You aren’t going to ask me why I confronted that griffin,” asked Twilight incredibly fast, her words being hard to decipher. “Not even a bit of curiosity.”

It’s not that big of a deal.

“Dude, Gabriel, what the fuck. We are going through trees, not listening to music. And we have no WiFi, so how the fuck are we going to listen to music? And that would be a stupid waste of battery,” harshly reprimanded Hugo to the two boys.

I thought they could listen to music without WiFi.

He furiously picked up his mobile phone and started searching for some music that he had downloaded in his phone. He didn’t care what song it was, just the first one that came up would do. The dog was almost directly in front of where they had just being in, and he clicked onto the first downloaded song that he had. It was a the stupid Nokia Arabic Ringtone that Hugo had send him for a joke video that they were doing and that he had to download to be able to even put it in. He put the volume as high as possible and threw it at the other direction the group was in as far as he could.

The dog, who already had its head right above where they were standing and was close to sniffing the ground, turned it’s head around and arched its ears toward the thud that was heard a good distance from where it was, and some weird noise was heard as well. The dog growled, and made a beeline towards the noise. It now was gone, and Felipe gave a sigh of relief at that.

Now that’s Big Brain.

They group stopped at their tracks. Hugo was intensely looking over the apple acre at a barely noticeable weird shape between the mountains, but was too far to be identifiable thanks to the sunset and clouds.

What is it?

“So, we all agree. Leisure time it is then,” Hugo happily exclaimed, and he started to take out food from the grab that he had temporarily acquired from the pony he already had forgotten the name of.

Background character #3

But that didn’t matter at the moment, and it was just comfortably quiet, without the need to fill the silence with words, unlike Americans, who apparently had the need to speak all the time or else it would get ‘uncomfortable’.

Can you blame me? I need some sort of sound.

It had an ugly face with thick, protruding teeth of a yellowish coloration, and floppy ears that faced forward. It also had really short legs with tiny, useless claws that weren’t sharp at all. It also had a really long back, that was slightly curved toward the front. At first, the most to one might be the dangerous teeth meant to maul flesh, but even more surprisingly were the long, powerful arms that had four fingers with blunt claws meant for digging instead of clawing at the end. Overall, it was one ugly motherfucker, and it didn’t seem open for negotiations.

What is that?

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Hey dude, I know there's a lot of questions right now, but don't worry, I will try to answer all of them. It was intentionally made vague.

10586667
Also, I am glad that you're reading my story!

The rest of the boys also got up, and they started shouting at the things as well.The thing saw this, and they started surrounding the group. They circled the group between the little cliff and themselves, and each one of them had two boys.

Wait, aren’t there seven boys and three monsters?

After helping Sebastián get up, Alfredo saw that the thing still couldn’t find a foothold an was still falling backwards, looking quite goofy. It was bizarre. Why was that thing still falling backwards. It finally fell flat on its back, and gasped for air while on the ground. That was weird. A normal dude would have inmediatly found the foothold back, but this thing didn’t stop until it fell on its ass.

I think it has asthma.

The only one that did not cry was the one that Alfredo and Sebastián fought against, and it looked rather angry, pointing its finger at Alfredo specifically and, surprisingly, shouting “Dead! You are dead!”, with a really gruff voice, which left Alfredo stunned.

Did he just put a hit on this man’s head? Also, why him?

“I’m going to punch the shit out of my opponents!”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” muttered Samuel while smiling. “You know that anime is for gays!”

That’s from an anime?

She still held her head high, of course. She was the princess of the sun, after all! She regally walked in her full attire of golden hooves and crown. She wanted to delight her ‘guest’, since she would be the last thing they ever see.

Why?

And when they finally were trapped in the nets, a ponie would come and knock them out with a stick, that wasn’t Hugo’s, towards the head. One by one, they were knocked out and put into the chariots. Some screams from the ponies could be heard, for some reason or another, but they were there.

I would remember their face.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, even under this... less than ideal circumstances,” she said with a reaaaally weird tone, that specifically reminded Sebastián to one of a porn actress before she get completely fucked. His mind was a bit perverted, so don’t judge.

No judgment over here.

She opened her eyes startled. No information or knowledge was coming! How could this be! And the creature were looking at her furiously. Normally, they would have blank looks on their faces, and a bit of drool falling from their faces. And they were unchained! How was that possible! This spell never had failed her! Even with magic resistant creatures like dragons, it could pass their natural defenses and grab all of the information needed! It worked even on Starswill, who was famous for having impenetrable magical and mental defenses! The two strongest ones got up, and she was suddenly looking up. Wait a second, looking up? Why was she looking up? And why was everything black now? Celestia didn’t understood anything that was going on. She was so surprised that it didn’t work! It never happened. And what was going on?

I’m liking this.

There were only three keys. They looked like the keys of Skyrim. Big, made of iron and a bit rusty. Alfredo tried each key that he had, and the second one was the one that opened the leg chains.

What are the others for?

It was something really odd, like it was some kind of giant recipient or bowl. It had scratch markings and some parts looked liked there were slightly burnt edges. It had little wheels at the base, and it was big enough that it could fit all the group. The group came back to their senses once they heard the hits in the door, and Sebastián had an idea.

What is it?

The earth pony and unicorn guards came panting towards the edge of the cliff, and they stood there with their mouth hanging and their eyes wide open.

“That was bucking awesome,” said one unicorn mare, who earned some scolding glares from her fellow guards, but most of them thought the same.

I don’t even blame her.

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