Was inspired to write, and write shall I do.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I know this is a bit different from the usual, but I wanted to make something original. Anyways, criticism is appreciated.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh0yAzpGAzA
Also, take note that when our group of hotheaded Spaniards were at the start were speaking between each other, they weren’t speaking in english, but in spanish, but it’s translated for you dear readers.
You don't put the end marks inside of the quotations unless it is actually the end of the sentence or the end of a paragraph. Doesn't matter the end mark, be it exclamation point, period or question mark. Also, keep it simple. Don't drag sentences out longer than you need to.
"We are going to absolutely demolish those bastards," Hugo exclaimed to the other boys.
"Hey, hey, hey boys. You didn't bring knives, right? Because we don't wanna kill each other," Felipe said in a worried tone.
"Why," asked Sebastián.
I'm going to guess that since you mentioned Madrid, English is not your first language, correct?
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That is correct, but I am decent at speaking English. Also, thank you for all the tips!
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Also, as a side note, I’m not trying to drag out the conversations. It’s just how these guys speak between themselves. Anyways, thank you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvf6gz58xnI
And that’s another one! How do you guys think it is? Any criticism or tips? What do you think of the (admittedly not too fleshed out [yet]) characters?
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On the first one. Yeah, you kinda right. But only for the moment. I was thinking ahead of that, and actions will be taken. On the second one. You are wrong. Nor once is it mentioned that he thinks that humans are evil, and he regrets that he tried to magically kick them. He is also grateful that his magic was nullified, and he is amazed by them. He also bears no Ill will towards them. But thanks for the criticism!
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Oh no, I get it, but that is not how it is gonna go. Pssst. Do you want me to tell you how it will go?
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C’mon, I’m pretty excited
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Hey, are you there?
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It may come out today! It’s pretty emotional, if I say so myself. And I know that there are a few clichés, but I’m a starting writer! I gotta use some tropes to get comfy. Thanks for all the criticism!
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Also, yeahhh, starting in the Everfree Forest may be a bit cliched, but they won’t stay there much time, and they’ll go to a lot of places ( griffinstone, Minotaur land, yachtyackistan, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera), and I didn’t start balls deep in the Everfree, I started in a relatively safe one.
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Yeahhh, sorry, it’s that yesterday I had a lot of work, and I said I’d release it that day, so it was a bit of a lower quality than intended. Today there won’t be a chapter either, so sorry! And thanks for the criticism!
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Alright, I’m back to business. Also to answer the question ‘bout Twilight, she was a bit bossy because she was given permission by Celestia to command everything, so she felt a bit offended that Sharp Slice tried to walk all over her, and she felt a bit entitled to answer back. When she was done she wanted to get the hell outta there as fast as possible. Expect a chapter coming soon, but not today. Also, yeah, I need to improve my conversations, but writing is hard man!
Is it wrong that I thought Rainbow Dash would appear in the chapter titled Gay colored horse?
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Hah! Not wrong at all.
Hey guys, any criticism is appreciated. Also, as a wise man once said: “The flow of time itself is convoluted; with heroes centuries old phasing in and out.”, which means that some things will not be 100% loyal to the canon series timeline, but I won’t do outrageous things, and I will use that to my favor. Knight of hope, out!
Finally got out of the Everfree Forest! Good lord, I didn’t want to stay in there for a long time, since there’s nothing really interesting in the forest apart from timberwolves and manticores, and the old castle of the sisters, but there is nothing important for the story at the moment. Also,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uAZdIJIl8o
this is the stupid song that just so happened to be the first one. Any and all criticism is welcome, and stay safe!
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Oh yeah, that will be explained in Canterlot in a future chapter.
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Also, do note that I won’t do this Twilight like in other stories were you literally hate her with all of your soul and being, just that sometimes she will make a few mistakes that without the full context, they seem really bad. Also, thanks for all the criticism so far from you!
i.ibb.co/TM5CSXP/CE835904-C998-44-C9-9-BEC-7373-A58684-DF.jpg
I am very happy with how this chapter turned out. Tell me your thoughts!
i.ibb.co/WvHVVPT/DE3-A43-F6-9-E37-4049-9-A3-C-644-CD093-BA48.gif
Well, as you can see, she’s a bitch. And damn am I feeling good lately. Also, the part where she ask the their last words? I actually asked my friend what would they be, and this where there answers. Anyways, any criticism is greatly appreciated.
Well looks like blood is the way
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What they did was foolish, and their chances of survival are abysmally low. They are probably said blood.
True but then again. They got sun cunt about to come down on them hard and brutal. I would go for griffins or Changlings. They are know at war with Equestria. Kill or be killed at this point. Channel that iner marine
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They are teenagers, not marines. They never ever killed someone, and don’t want to.
Hey it happens. And Spaniards has the best win streak until the world wars. For some reason they scare me as much a my drill sergeants. Imagine a french men screaming I’m going to use u as a condemn while I skull fuck u. Lol. I’d sit in a area filled with ap mines
This seems interesting. I'll put it on my read list.
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Now that... seems like a really weird animated porn short found on the dark side of the internet. Damn.
Now, I gotta say that they got really lucky. But let me tell you, they won’t get that lucky again.
Lol 😂 right
Finally updated it boys. Tell me what you think.
Can we get a translator?
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Different in what way?
Poor Bear
That’s f*cked up, but at the same time.
He has magic?
A haymaker made him cough up blood?
What does that mean?
Does the fight even matter any more?
Ok, I actually laughed at that part.
Did she start the letter over?
Damn, Celestia getting tired of this princess sh*t.
Some Princess
What are the others?
Like a Chameleon?
Is that true?
Too late for that joke, but good try.
How fragile are these ponies?
He’s physical strength?
Aren’t their wings the same size as their body’s? Also, is that twilight?
They are speaking Spanish?
That kinda sounds like she’s only looking out for ponies.
Did he see them?
That’s what guards talk about these days?
What does that look like?
Damn, they didn’t save Sugar Rush sh*t.
Please tell me Julio is black.
To see or to keep warm?
Don’t know if that’s true.
I need some more information on that.
I’m having trouble seeing who’s right and who’s wrong.
What the f*ck did he just say?
I don’t know much about laws, so I’ll just roll with it.
Something tells me that’s gonna bite her in the a**. Also, what experiment?
What does the letter say?
It’s not that big of a deal.
I thought they could listen to music without WiFi.
Now that’s Big Brain.
What is it?
Background character #3
Can you blame me? I need some sort of sound.
What is that?
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Hey dude, I know there's a lot of questions right now, but don't worry, I will try to answer all of them. It was intentionally made vague.
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Also, I am glad that you're reading my story!
Wait, aren’t there seven boys and three monsters?
I think it has asthma.
Did he just put a hit on this man’s head? Also, why him?
That’s from an anime?
Why?
I would remember their face.
No judgment over here.
I’m liking this.
What are the others for?
What is it?
I don’t even blame her.