“Thank you, To. For everything.” He said, pulling the zebra even closer to his chest.
Then it happened. Instantly both of the stallions gasped in horror and their eyes widened in fear as a purple and white flash filled the center of the room. A purple alicorn appeared next to the bed, frantically waving a piece of paper as she did.
“Shining!” Twilight cried as she scanned the room. “I got your letter and-”
Then her eyes fell on Shining Armor, still lying on top of, and hilted within, To… She stared at them wide-eyed and jaw dropped. The same face of shock mirrored on their faces as well.
“I swear to Celestia I can explain.”
I actually expected Twilight to wait a few hours maybe a day at most; I would've lost that bet.
Nice to see more Spike and Dansaar but I personally hope Spike eventually ends up the Irra and Dansaar decides he's happier as a Jala. From the sound of it he has never had sex as a bottom and he sounds like a natural submissive.
Being a Irra sounds like a big responsibility and I think Spike i more capable of taking care of Dansaar than Dansaar is taking care of Spike. I mean what would Dansaar do to provide for them. Maybe Dansaar would enjoy keeping house wile Spike brings home the bacon I mean he's been Twilights assitant long enough to warrant a Job in the crystal empire government.
Plus with the way you described Dansaar that ass was made to be spanked and claimed by Spike's huge rod.
Welp this has to be the best "Zebradom" story I've seen. I put that in quotes though since the zebradom in this one is a bit on the light side. Realistically the only one whose really full on that in this story is Cadence. Everyone else right now is just picking up the picking of this inexplicable act she commited.
Personally this is way more realistic and more in the spirit of MLP then any other zebradom. Hope you keep writing it, this deserves to be completed
If you haven't noticed, this chapter had a bit of a drop in quality, mostly cause my Co-author is going through some hard times and I had to write it alone. Glad to see people like the story still nonetheless!
11184854 Really hadnt noticed, if anything it feels like the stories now progressing in a logical and realistic manner. I honestly cant wait to see what the true fallout of this will be now that the cats out of the bag.
Personally Im pulling for the zebras in this story they've had quite a bad run of things and Im so happy at them for epically shutting Cadence down like that. Which is kind of a switch cause at first I didnt like them much so I congratualate you for being able to shift the readers perception of them so effectively.
It puts Hajaa's disgust with what was asked of him with Cadance in a slightly different light. Not only was he put off by having to cater to the image of the hunky hung Zebra 'forcefully' taking someone and 'breaking' them into a Zebra fuckslave, which is in itself extremely demeaning, it also meant pretending to be the thing he hates most in the world and what made him leave his home in the first place; because those rumours Cadance based her expectations on are actually rooted in the truth.
At the same time, it makes sense To’Achuu would ask him out of all of them. His behaviour around Thorax is uncomfortably close to one of those supposed 'tamers' back in the Zebra homeland. Whether or not he realises it, he was indeed the best choice for this part. He also doesn't seem to respect Shining Armor much or understand what danger they'd be in if some of the more powerful ponies turned against them. Perhaps their experience with Cadance convinced the Zebras ponies were pushovers?
“To’Achuu had ample opportunities to violate our trust and take over, and he hasn’t so far. Not much has changed, correct?” Shining continued, lowering his gaze to make eye contact with the stallion.
Thing is, Shining Armor... that's exactly what he did. He violated your trust and took over. You just don't mind that he did. Cadance's betrayal shook you so hard you were desperate for some stability and comfort. It helps immensely that To’Achuu, to our best knowledge, truly isn't malicious. But let's not pretend anypony got to make a decision on whether To’Achuu get to rule the Crystal Empire and all its citizens apart from Cadance and To’Achuu himself. And considering how utterly insane Cadance acted, she didn't seem to be capable of making any informed decisions in the first place. To’Achuu conspired to put To’Achuu on the throne, plain and simple.
Kudos on the talk between Flash and Shining Armor, by the way. It was satisfying to see some of those arguments addressed. It was even more satisfying to not have Flash Sentry then painted as a bad guy for bringing them up. Less well-crafted stories would easily fall into this trap, having the one person raising reasonable objections presented as a complete Hate Sink. Especially a character already hated to an irrational degree by many in the fandom.
Now, and this is important for the part with Twilight herself, the talk with Flash Sentry didn't go all the way. Because if you suspect someone is brainwashed and they say they are not, can you actually believe them? Of course they would say they're not. But nobody in this situation could prove it one way or the other. Twilight most likely can. She can scan Shining Armor to find out of he's been affected in some way. There could even be a moment of uncertainty in Shining Armor's mind—like, can HE be sure To’Achuu did nothing to his head? How would he know? Or perhaps Shining is so sure he can trust To’Achuu there isn't any doubt in him at all.
Oh, and this could also be a wonderful moment to show To’Achuu or any other Zebra just what it would mean to have somepony as powerful as Princess Twilight Sparkle for an enemy. That might be only me wanting to see that, though, granted.
Flash Sentry could be on to something. To immediately sleeping with the people who over took your kingdom, accepting their beliefs and practices with no pushback whatsoever. Whatever's in water must be some good stuff.
Really curious to see how To’Achuu plans on maintaining their rule when they couldn't even beat a rival fraction from their homeland.
One of my top most beloved gay as fook stories has finally updated?
I shall read immediately!
YESSSSS :D
Initiate potentially rather serious "twilighting" session in 3... 2... 1...------ "Wait for the next chapter."
Excellent Chapter Deery ^>^
It's alive!!!
It's been a little longer than that.
11182714
Sowwy ;(
I actually expected Twilight to wait a few hours maybe a day at most; I would've lost that bet.
Talk about bad timing…oof
goddamn Twilight! Don't you know it is poor manners to teleport right into someone's bedroom?
Nice to see more Spike and Dansaar but I personally hope Spike eventually ends up the Irra and Dansaar decides he's happier as a Jala. From the sound of it he has never had sex as a bottom and he sounds like a natural submissive.
Being a Irra sounds like a big responsibility and I think Spike i more capable of taking care of Dansaar than Dansaar is taking care of Spike. I mean what would Dansaar do to provide for them. Maybe Dansaar would enjoy keeping house wile Spike brings home the bacon I mean he's been Twilights assitant long enough to warrant a Job in the crystal empire government.
Plus with the way you described Dansaar that ass was made to be spanked and claimed by Spike's huge rod.
Aw fuck
It seems "no respect for privacy" is a common trait in the Sparkle family.
Welp this has to be the best "Zebradom" story I've seen. I put that in quotes though since the zebradom in this one is a bit on the light side. Realistically the only one whose really full on that in this story is Cadence. Everyone else right now is just picking up the picking of this inexplicable act she commited.
Personally this is way more realistic and more in the spirit of MLP then any other zebradom. Hope you keep writing it, this deserves to be completed
11184781
That actually means a lot to hear XD
If you haven't noticed, this chapter had a bit of a drop in quality, mostly cause my Co-author is going through some hard times and I had to write it alone. Glad to see people like the story still nonetheless!
11184854
Really hadnt noticed, if anything it feels like the stories now progressing in a logical and realistic manner. I honestly cant wait to see what the true fallout of this will be now that the cats out of the bag.
Personally Im pulling for the zebras in this story they've had quite a bad run of things and Im so happy at them for epically shutting Cadence down like that. Which is kind of a switch cause at first I didnt like them much so I congratualate you for being able to shift the readers perception of them so effectively.
11184781
That's part of why I like it, myself. There's precious little "domination" going on in the stereotypical sense.
Some thoughts regarding this chapter.
It puts Hajaa's disgust with what was asked of him with Cadance in a slightly different light. Not only was he put off by having to cater to the image of the hunky hung Zebra 'forcefully' taking someone and 'breaking' them into a Zebra fuckslave, which is in itself extremely demeaning, it also meant pretending to be the thing he hates most in the world and what made him leave his home in the first place; because those rumours Cadance based her expectations on are actually rooted in the truth.
At the same time, it makes sense To’Achuu would ask him out of all of them. His behaviour around Thorax is uncomfortably close to one of those supposed 'tamers' back in the Zebra homeland. Whether or not he realises it, he was indeed the best choice for this part. He also doesn't seem to respect Shining Armor much or understand what danger they'd be in if some of the more powerful ponies turned against them. Perhaps their experience with Cadance convinced the Zebras ponies were pushovers?
Thing is, Shining Armor... that's exactly what he did. He violated your trust and took over. You just don't mind that he did. Cadance's betrayal shook you so hard you were desperate for some stability and comfort. It helps immensely that To’Achuu, to our best knowledge, truly isn't malicious. But let's not pretend anypony got to make a decision on whether To’Achuu get to rule the Crystal Empire and all its citizens apart from Cadance and To’Achuu himself. And considering how utterly insane Cadance acted, she didn't seem to be capable of making any informed decisions in the first place. To’Achuu conspired to put To’Achuu on the throne, plain and simple.
Kudos on the talk between Flash and Shining Armor, by the way. It was satisfying to see some of those arguments addressed. It was even more satisfying to not have Flash Sentry then painted as a bad guy for bringing them up. Less well-crafted stories would easily fall into this trap, having the one person raising reasonable objections presented as a complete Hate Sink. Especially a character already hated to an irrational degree by many in the fandom.
Now, and this is important for the part with Twilight herself, the talk with Flash Sentry didn't go all the way. Because if you suspect someone is brainwashed and they say they are not, can you actually believe them? Of course they would say they're not. But nobody in this situation could prove it one way or the other. Twilight most likely can. She can scan Shining Armor to find out of he's been affected in some way. There could even be a moment of uncertainty in Shining Armor's mind—like, can HE be sure To’Achuu did nothing to his head? How would he know? Or perhaps Shining is so sure he can trust To’Achuu there isn't any doubt in him at all.
Oh, and this could also be a wonderful moment to show To’Achuu or any other Zebra just what it would mean to have somepony as powerful as Princess Twilight Sparkle for an enemy. That might be only me wanting to see that, though, granted.
Flash Sentry could be on to something. To immediately sleeping with the people who over took your kingdom, accepting their beliefs and practices with no pushback whatsoever. Whatever's in water must be some good stuff.
Really curious to see how To’Achuu plans on maintaining their rule when they couldn't even beat a rival fraction from their homeland.
...I fucking knew it. I thought I'd happen when they kissed, honestly XD