10203099 Deer has yet to reply to this but I would guess that I mirror his sentiments. Your appraisal is much appreciated. The relationship-side of things is something we are both particularly fond of. Of the three major pairings, his favourite is Spike and Hajaa whilst mine is Spike and Dansaar. This has lead to an awkward position where Shining and To'Achuu comes across as less-developed as a result but we will rectifying the shortcomings there in upcoming chapters. Aside from that, I'm happy you're enjoying the fic.
This is excellent. I am guessing we have Spike and Dansaar next? Either way, very much looking forward to the continuation. You wrote Hajaa and Thorax very well. I am glad to hear that Shining and To'Achuu will be more developed, but then again considering the situation it makes a lot of sense that they would be given how much time was taken just to getting Shining to understand the situation, and what To'Achuu needs from him.
I especially loved the clothes being torn off of Thorax, and how gentle he was removing the briefs. I am curious as to what lurid acts we will be privy to, or how the public that wasn't at the event takes it, given that Spike, and Cadence were involved suggests that someone will investigate what is going on, likely Twilight and company. If not, that is ok, but if the story lasts long, that will have to be addressed, but at least Shining Armor will be able to try and smooth things over, Cadence will have to be dealt with, after all, she was princess before her betrayal.
Below that was his stomach, which was deliciously toned and well-built and, strangely, lacking a belly button.
Not according to your cover art! Belly buttons are cute! Everycreature should have them, especially in porn that doesn't need to care about anatomical accuracy, no?
This is all an interesting premise, reminds me of the Fall of Equestria artwork series, which depicted a similar dystopic society for ponies being sexually subservient to deer, I think.
The descriptions are quite good, great variety of vocabulary. Your dialogue isn't as tight in some places and scenes, especially with certain characters like Cadance or Thorax, though at least some of that can be attributed to this being porn that needs to prioritize sex sooner or later. Even porn with a story has to dive into prioritization of sex at some point.
Thanks for recommending! I'll continue to go through this when I have the time.
Grats on the new cover art. That's pretty amazing!
10203099
Deer has yet to reply to this but I would guess that I mirror his sentiments. Your appraisal is much appreciated. The relationship-side of things is something we are both particularly fond of. Of the three major pairings, his favourite is Spike and Hajaa whilst mine is Spike and Dansaar. This has lead to an awkward position where Shining and To'Achuu comes across as less-developed as a result but we will rectifying the shortcomings there in upcoming chapters. Aside from that, I'm happy you're enjoying the fic.
This is excellent. I am guessing we have Spike and Dansaar next? Either way, very much looking forward to the continuation. You wrote Hajaa and Thorax very well. I am glad to hear that Shining and To'Achuu will be more developed, but then again considering the situation it makes a lot of sense that they would be given how much time was taken just to getting Shining to understand the situation, and what To'Achuu needs from him.
I especially loved the clothes being torn off of Thorax, and how gentle he was removing the briefs. I am curious as to what lurid acts we will be privy to, or how the public that wasn't at the event takes it, given that Spike, and Cadence were involved suggests that someone will investigate what is going on, likely Twilight and company. If not, that is ok, but if the story lasts long, that will have to be addressed, but at least Shining Armor will be able to try and smooth things over, Cadence will have to be dealt with, after all, she was princess before her betrayal.
New oopdate wheen
10307067
Hopefully next week
Not according to your cover art! Belly buttons are cute! Everycreature should have them, especially in porn that doesn't need to care about anatomical accuracy, no?
This is all an interesting premise, reminds me of the Fall of Equestria artwork series, which depicted a similar dystopic society for ponies being sexually subservient to deer, I think.
The descriptions are quite good, great variety of vocabulary. Your dialogue isn't as tight in some places and scenes, especially with certain characters like Cadance or Thorax, though at least some of that can be attributed to this being porn that needs to prioritize sex sooner or later. Even porn with a story has to dive into prioritization of sex at some point.
Thanks for recommending! I'll continue to go through this when I have the time.
Woow this story is incredible so far!