Well now, I do believe celestia and Luna will have to understand now. If the letters are still in their possession, then they are speaking the truth. Even if the elements of harmony are their, they can still sense or notice key details. And if the two do send them back, it'll be a political disaster as it'll give many justification to remove some of their power, opting that celestia has been "going against the teachings of our way of life." Great story and I so look forward towards the ending.
Oh hey look, here's a big, tall glass of consequences! And I love it, I'm all here for it!
Ahem! Sorry. What I meant to say is, no chapter in C.A.F.R. so far has disappointed, and this is no exception; in fact, this is my favourite chapter out of all of them yet. Once again, this story which supposedly started out as a playful, ironic subversion of the usual Zebradom theme has a more complex, more realistic composition than a lot of other pieces I've read on this site. I would say a lot of this comes down to allowing things to move organically, allowing characters to be three-dimensional and have, well, actual character. Well done.
Now, onto some thoughts.
Thorax’s head shook from side to side, the ‘ling cried out in pure panic, trying not to give in… but he was always weak… The darkness soon covered his head, leaving not a single one of Hajaa’s stripes on him. All that was left of Thorax was an all-black silhouette. Slowly he opened his glowing cyan eyes, but they were empty and hollow. Broken.
This being Hajaa's dream, these can only be his thoughts. His perspective. And it's a bit unfortunate that he sees Thorax as so weak. But perhaps not surprising, he had no trouble 'catching and taming' the Changeling himself and he's consistently talked about him like Thorax is his property. Hajaa doesn't want to be like the "dogs of Qwarhe", but he's got a way to go. I'm not sure he even knows Thorax originally comes from a society where everyone might as well be considered a slave to the Queen.
Spike smirked and rolled his eyes. As he did, though, he remembered a different kind of ruler that he knew. He paused and went quiet for a second. “So, since I sent that note, Twilight is probably coming to the Empire…”
Dansaar shrugged, almost knocking the one shirt arm he had off his shoulder. “She’s an alicorn right?”
Spike nodded as he went around to Dansaar’s left side, sliding on the left arm as well.
“Then she can’t be that bad,” Dansaar laughed, “We beat Cadance. They’re similar right?”
I really like that you put these different perspectives in this chapter, how the Zebras see Twilight Sparkle's potential as a threat. Also, that Spike is so defensive of her and but also freely tells Dansaar they have no real way of stopping her if she were to grow really angry with them, that was a nice touch.
Anyways, Dansaar's been a Jala all his life. He's been thrust into the position of the dominant party for the first time ever; he doesn't know anything about fighting or leading and he's struggling a bit with the sudden ego-boost. So, he dismisses Twilight as just 'another Alicorn'. Hajaa absolutely knows about fighting, and he knows about losing. He's used to interacting with the powerful—and he's quite likely well-aware this princess hasn't inherited her title, she's got it through feats of magic. Unlike Shining Armor, who's completely under To’Achuu's thumb, or Cadance who is drunk on lust and wants to surrender, they have no leverage on her.
It had taken him several hours to actually convince her not to disintegrate To’Achuu, and several hours more to convince her that he wasn’t, in fact, a changeling. Then came the additional hour of scanning him for every type of magical mind altering spell in existence, then checking his dietary and blood systems for any and all aphrodisiacs and/or drugs. All in all, it had been an exhausting night.
It's very satisfying to see the scientist princess act like a scientist: logical and methodical. Unlike what Shining Armor later says, I expect Twilight's going to go to the dungeons eventually to check on Cadance, who might or might not pick up on how Hajaa's apparently her type.
By the way, someone should point out the next logical thought to Shining and Spike bringing up Princess Luna. If that one fell into a state of madness and turned into a nightmare, could that be happening to Cadance, too? In that case, she needs help. Preferably before they have to deal with Stripeass Cumbucket or whatever insanity her Alicorn-brain works itself into.
It's also nice for me, personally, to have a collection of Equestrian Nobility mentioned and not immediately painted as mortal enemies to all that's good and pure. Because the threat of them declaring Shining Armor a traitor isn't, you know, completely without merit.
“I know it is hard to accept, I trust you have known her for a very long time.” To exclaimed, sitting up. “But this would have likely happened eventually. We understand this empire was once ruled by a king of darkness. Sombra. If he had shown up while she was suffering like this… well… better us than him.”
Twilight growled. “Stop.” She hissed through clenched teeth. “Being the lesser of two evils doesn’t make you good.”
To’Achuu nodded. “I will admit… what I just said was somewhat manipulative…” He sheepishly said.
This exchange is telling, too. To'Achuu knows he was using Cadance's emotional damage, and he most likely knows he was using Shining Armor's emotional damage afterwards. He's right that he's probably a better alternative to Sombra... but it was still a nasty thing to do and Twilight sees right through his excuse. I do believe his prior experience shines through here; he was to be chieftain of a weak, vulnerable tribe, barely escaped becoming a slave himself, and had to lead a band of exiles who barely number any warriors among them, and of those, most were sick of violence and savagery. Of course they would need trickery to get by.
At the same time, he obviously didn't think to throw himself at Shining Armor's hooves after Cadance made him ruler of the Crystal Empire. A large portion of the blame for things being so difficult right now squarely rest on his shoulders. He's a usurper, that's the truth of it.
I really hope we will, at some later point, get a glimpse into how To'Achuu planned to stay in power once Equestria's immortal rulers caught wind of what he did. Whether he had a good plan, or a dumb plan, or was in shock over his coup actually working and just hoped against hope they'd just never realise.
11213650 While what he did was manipulative, another way to see it his him being cunning. Perspective is everything after all. Remember, cadence announced her plan and her decree to everyone in the empire, and officially giving complete power to to'achuu. Key word, complete power. By all legal rights he is now the king of the crystal empire, no one has any say of the matter other then the king himself. While equestria can do something about freeing cadence, only other way to have her back in power would be war, and no one wants that. While having the idea of having shining armor in power would be seen as to'achuu being in charge by the shadows, everyone can be ok about shining as the king since everyone recognize him.
Okay, loving the progress this story is finally getting, but I have to say this. Fuck Hajaa. The blatant disrespect and threatening position he took up with Twilight when she has more than enough power to destroy them all or deport them all wasn't inspiring or impressive. It was infuriating to read and downright fucking stupid. I really hope you humble this shit outta this guy soon cause I really can't stand him acting like that around Twilight and especially not how he's been around Shining Armor. Fucker owes these two everything he has at the moment and he can't even be bothered to be polite and grateful. He's got absolutely no right to be annoyed with Shining for asking questions and he especially has no right getting up in Twilight's face.
I forgot how much zebras are in the kingdom, wonder what jobs they'll have to take up to support the economy. So far I don't feel pity for cadence, more like wanting her to get help. Cause twi's right she's mentally ill and needs guidance. And unless she's using the time in dungeon to reflect she's not getting better.
11214231 If just handing over the Empire like Cadance did is even possible. She clearly wasn't in her right mind and she didn't think of any method for how To'Achuu would maintain control of the nation beyond "striped dick". In fact, to me, it seemed like the entire abdication in the throne room was done solely for theatrics, to hurt her former husband and friends whom she thought would be enslaved right after.
And even if the paperwork is somehow "legal" (doubtful, Luna and Celestia would not tolerate the Empire becoming a slaver state again), if the Crystal Ponies reject To'Achuu, he's more likely to be blasted to bits by the Crystal Heart than stay in power. That's what happened to the last foreigner who presumed to be tyrant. Moreover, if Equestria's nobles declare To'Achuu unfit to rule and try to remove him by force, who is going to fight to keep him in power? The Crystal Ponies? Nope. It'd be his Zebras versus the rest of the Empire, plus Equestria proper, plus any of its allies.
By the way, To'Achuu has been shown to struggle with pony law. How would he know what Cadance put together is legal or not, I wonder?
11214724 Somewhat forced to agree. Hajaa seems... a little troubled. His outburst at Twilight is understandable since it triggers him, being compared to the villains back in their homeland, but it also shows a near total disregard for pony authorities. His aggressive, domineering attitude isn't helpful. Maybe he's used to being the forceful counterpart to To'Achuu's cunning so his default mode is to try to bully others into submission?
11214777 A fair point, but the same could be said for the other side. Would the crystal ponies side with equestria after they put cadence in charge, and how cadence proclaimed ponies are "inferior to zebra's" in the Coronation chapter. As for cadence state of mind, that is never a good excuse for any ruler whenever they do something awful. Let's take a look at the citizens, are they in chains, are their freedoms being stripped away, are the zebras forcing their way for the ponies to accept their culture? The last question is a little complicated since from my point of view, their teaching the ponies their culture. But that could be viewed in another way by yours. (also I like how even when this is a gay clip fix involving zebras, it's funny how we're looking at the political aspects of this, not that it's a bad thing.)
11214777 I'm certain he's used to being To's muscle. Problem is, it's not helpful when the one you're trying to intimidate can annihilate your entire people with ease. It makes you look weak and stupid. Like I said, I hope the author humbles the shit outta him soon. He needs it desperately.
11214826 Why would they blame Equestria for Cadance going insane, rather than the foreign intruder who took over the throne after the now-insane Cadance put him there? The burden of proof is on To'Achuu, he needs to prove he didn't conspire to stage a coup, which is a problem because that's literally what he did. If he immediately asked Shining Armor or Spike to be the interim ruler while everyone worked things out, that would be quite different. But he didn't go that route. He kept the throne for himself. This is a problem of To'Achuu's own making.
As for Cadance's state of mind... it's a VERY good reason to dismiss anything she signed if she wasn't mentally fit to make that decision in the first place. The question then is, was she sane or not? Most of the characters, so far, seem to lean on her being perfectly sane, but nobody has any real reason for this drastic personality change. Some of them brought up Princess Luna, but they should in turn be asked if they believe Nightmare Moon was just Luna throwing a tantrum, or if there was more to it.
(also I like how even when this is a gay clip fix involving zebras, it's funny how we're looking at the political aspects of this, not that it's a bad thing.)
That's because the fic itself embraces the political side of the scenario. And I think it's all the better for it, because it knows to give it the proper respect and care instead of handwaving everything away.
11215000 Heh. I wonder if he ever considered whether Thorax can change into a shape with a bigger dick than his. Jokes aside, it's also possible Hajaa is taking out his anger on Twilight instead of his actual boss, To'Achuu. Hajaa did warn him the plan had too many holes to work. AND forced him to play the racist Zebra stereotype to Cadance. Not that that makes it any better, neither his behaviour towards Twilight and certainly not the jerkass way he's been treating Shining Armor.
11216763 I wouldn't consider Hajaa being a jerk ass to Shining Armor lol.
The worst he did was get grumpy at Shining Armor breaking into his room while he was busy with Thorax, but then he calmly answered all his questions (though he was being kinda sarcastic lol). A real jerk ass woulda kicked Shining Armor out, or beat him up for walking into the room uninvited lol.
But his talks his Twilight were *certainly* jerk ass warranted, but the consequences to that might come up next chapter ;)
Well now, I do believe celestia and Luna will have to understand now. If the letters are still in their possession, then they are speaking the truth. Even if the elements of harmony are their, they can still sense or notice key details. And if the two do send them back, it'll be a political disaster as it'll give many justification to remove some of their power, opting that celestia has been "going against the teachings of our way of life."
Great story and I so look forward towards the ending.
Oh hey look, here's a big, tall glass of consequences! And I love it, I'm all here for it!
Ahem! Sorry. What I meant to say is, no chapter in C.A.F.R. so far has disappointed, and this is no exception; in fact, this is my favourite chapter out of all of them yet. Once again, this story which supposedly started out as a playful, ironic subversion of the usual Zebradom theme has a more complex, more realistic composition than a lot of other pieces I've read on this site. I would say a lot of this comes down to allowing things to move organically, allowing characters to be three-dimensional and have, well, actual character. Well done.
Now, onto some thoughts.
This being Hajaa's dream, these can only be his thoughts. His perspective. And it's a bit unfortunate that he sees Thorax as so weak. But perhaps not surprising, he had no trouble 'catching and taming' the Changeling himself and he's consistently talked about him like Thorax is his property. Hajaa doesn't want to be like the "dogs of Qwarhe", but he's got a way to go. I'm not sure he even knows Thorax originally comes from a society where everyone might as well be considered a slave to the Queen.
I really like that you put these different perspectives in this chapter, how the Zebras see Twilight Sparkle's potential as a threat. Also, that Spike is so defensive of her and but also freely tells Dansaar they have no real way of stopping her if she were to grow really angry with them, that was a nice touch.
Anyways, Dansaar's been a Jala all his life. He's been thrust into the position of the dominant party for the first time ever; he doesn't know anything about fighting or leading and he's struggling a bit with the sudden ego-boost. So, he dismisses Twilight as just 'another Alicorn'. Hajaa absolutely knows about fighting, and he knows about losing. He's used to interacting with the powerful—and he's quite likely well-aware this princess hasn't inherited her title, she's got it through feats of magic. Unlike Shining Armor, who's completely under To’Achuu's thumb, or Cadance who is drunk on lust and wants to surrender, they have no leverage on her.
It's very satisfying to see the scientist princess act like a scientist: logical and methodical. Unlike what Shining Armor later says, I expect Twilight's going to go to the dungeons eventually to check on Cadance, who might or might not pick up on how Hajaa's apparently her type.
By the way, someone should point out the next logical thought to Shining and Spike bringing up Princess Luna. If that one fell into a state of madness and turned into a nightmare, could that be happening to Cadance, too? In that case, she needs help. Preferably before they have to deal with Stripeass Cumbucket or whatever insanity her Alicorn-brain works itself into.
It's also nice for me, personally, to have a collection of Equestrian Nobility mentioned and not immediately painted as mortal enemies to all that's good and pure. Because the threat of them declaring Shining Armor a traitor isn't, you know, completely without merit.
This exchange is telling, too. To'Achuu knows he was using Cadance's emotional damage, and he most likely knows he was using Shining Armor's emotional damage afterwards. He's right that he's probably a better alternative to Sombra... but it was still a nasty thing to do and Twilight sees right through his excuse. I do believe his prior experience shines through here; he was to be chieftain of a weak, vulnerable tribe, barely escaped becoming a slave himself, and had to lead a band of exiles who barely number any warriors among them, and of those, most were sick of violence and savagery. Of course they would need trickery to get by.
At the same time, he obviously didn't think to throw himself at Shining Armor's hooves after Cadance made him ruler of the Crystal Empire. A large portion of the blame for things being so difficult right now squarely rest on his shoulders. He's a usurper, that's the truth of it.
I really hope we will, at some later point, get a glimpse into how To'Achuu planned to stay in power once Equestria's immortal rulers caught wind of what he did. Whether he had a good plan, or a dumb plan, or was in shock over his coup actually working and just hoped against hope they'd just never realise.
Twilight’s gonna have a day explaining all of this, not to mention the ticking time bomb in the basement.
11213650
While what he did was manipulative, another way to see it his him being cunning. Perspective is everything after all. Remember, cadence announced her plan and her decree to everyone in the empire, and officially giving complete power to to'achuu. Key word, complete power.
By all legal rights he is now the king of the crystal empire, no one has any say of the matter other then the king himself. While equestria can do something about freeing cadence, only other way to have her back in power would be war, and no one wants that. While having the idea of having shining armor in power would be seen as to'achuu being in charge by the shadows, everyone can be ok about shining as the king since everyone recognize him.
Okay, loving the progress this story is finally getting, but I have to say this. Fuck Hajaa. The blatant disrespect and threatening position he took up with Twilight when she has more than enough power to destroy them all or deport them all wasn't inspiring or impressive. It was infuriating to read and downright fucking stupid. I really hope you humble this shit outta this guy soon cause I really can't stand him acting like that around Twilight and especially not how he's been around Shining Armor. Fucker owes these two everything he has at the moment and he can't even be bothered to be polite and grateful. He's got absolutely no right to be annoyed with Shining for asking questions and he especially has no right getting up in Twilight's face.
I forgot how much zebras are in the kingdom, wonder what jobs they'll have to take up to support the economy. So far I don't feel pity for cadence, more like wanting her to get help. Cause twi's right she's mentally ill and needs guidance. And unless she's using the time in dungeon to reflect she's not getting better.
11214231
If just handing over the Empire like Cadance did is even possible. She clearly wasn't in her right mind and she didn't think of any method for how To'Achuu would maintain control of the nation beyond "striped dick". In fact, to me, it seemed like the entire abdication in the throne room was done solely for theatrics, to hurt her former husband and friends whom she thought would be enslaved right after.
And even if the paperwork is somehow "legal" (doubtful, Luna and Celestia would not tolerate the Empire becoming a slaver state again), if the Crystal Ponies reject To'Achuu, he's more likely to be blasted to bits by the Crystal Heart than stay in power. That's what happened to the last foreigner who presumed to be tyrant. Moreover, if Equestria's nobles declare To'Achuu unfit to rule and try to remove him by force, who is going to fight to keep him in power? The Crystal Ponies? Nope. It'd be his Zebras versus the rest of the Empire, plus Equestria proper, plus any of its allies.
By the way, To'Achuu has been shown to struggle with pony law. How would he know what Cadance put together is legal or not, I wonder?
11214724
Somewhat forced to agree. Hajaa seems... a little troubled. His outburst at Twilight is understandable since it triggers him, being compared to the villains back in their homeland, but it also shows a near total disregard for pony authorities. His aggressive, domineering attitude isn't helpful. Maybe he's used to being the forceful counterpart to To'Achuu's cunning so his default mode is to try to bully others into submission?
11214777
A fair point, but the same could be said for the other side. Would the crystal ponies side with equestria after they put cadence in charge, and how cadence proclaimed ponies are "inferior to zebra's" in the Coronation chapter. As for cadence state of mind, that is never a good excuse for any ruler whenever they do something awful. Let's take a look at the citizens, are they in chains, are their freedoms being stripped away, are the zebras forcing their way for the ponies to accept their culture? The last question is a little complicated since from my point of view, their teaching the ponies their culture. But that could be viewed in another way by yours.
(also I like how even when this is a gay clip fix involving zebras, it's funny how we're looking at the political aspects of this, not that it's a bad thing.)
11214777
I'm certain he's used to being To's muscle. Problem is, it's not helpful when the one you're trying to intimidate can annihilate your entire people with ease. It makes you look weak and stupid. Like I said, I hope the author humbles the shit outta him soon. He needs it desperately.
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11214826
Why would they blame Equestria for Cadance going insane, rather than the foreign intruder who took over the throne after the now-insane Cadance put him there? The burden of proof is on To'Achuu, he needs to prove he didn't conspire to stage a coup, which is a problem because that's literally what he did. If he immediately asked Shining Armor or Spike to be the interim ruler while everyone worked things out, that would be quite different. But he didn't go that route. He kept the throne for himself. This is a problem of To'Achuu's own making.
As for Cadance's state of mind... it's a VERY good reason to dismiss anything she signed if she wasn't mentally fit to make that decision in the first place. The question then is, was she sane or not? Most of the characters, so far, seem to lean on her being perfectly sane, but nobody has any real reason for this drastic personality change. Some of them brought up Princess Luna, but they should in turn be asked if they believe Nightmare Moon was just Luna throwing a tantrum, or if there was more to it.
That's because the fic itself embraces the political side of the scenario. And I think it's all the better for it, because it knows to give it the proper respect and care instead of handwaving everything away.
11215000
Heh. I wonder if he ever considered whether Thorax can change into a shape with a bigger dick than his. Jokes aside, it's also possible Hajaa is taking out his anger on Twilight instead of his actual boss, To'Achuu. Hajaa did warn him the plan had too many holes to work. AND forced him to play the racist Zebra stereotype to Cadance. Not that that makes it any better, neither his behaviour towards Twilight and certainly not the jerkass way he's been treating Shining Armor.
11216763
I wouldn't consider Hajaa being a jerk ass to Shining Armor lol.
The worst he did was get grumpy at Shining Armor breaking into his room while he was busy with Thorax, but then he calmly answered all his questions (though he was being kinda sarcastic lol). A real jerk ass woulda kicked Shining Armor out, or beat him up for walking into the room uninvited lol.
But his talks his Twilight were *certainly* jerk ass warranted, but the consequences to that might come up next chapter ;)