As Luna slowly opened her eyes she let herself enjoy the soft carpet below her. She’d have to remember to ask Twilight where she got it, as it felt absolutely divine. She let out a yawn and gently snuggled into the carpet more. It felt just as comfortable as her bed at the palace did. She couldn’t believe how nice it felt. That is, until she felt the carpet breathing. As she looked down her face went red in a heartbeat as she saw Twilight asleep beneath her. Her head shot up off of the purple mare. Her quick movement had also stirred Twilight from her sleep and her eyes gently fluttered open.
“Hm…? Oh, hello Luna. Did you sleep well?” Twilight let out a yawn and stretched out her hooves a bit. Luna sat motionless and silent, the blush still on her face. “Um, are you okay Luna?” Twi gave her a confused look as she wondered why Luna was blushing and had a look on her face as if she had just done the worst thing imaginable. That’s when she remembered how Luna had fallen asleep, and a light blush found its way onto her face as well. “Oh… right… It’s fine Luna, really. It was… actually kind of comfortable.” Her blush deepened a bit to the color of a bright rose as she said those words, mainly because it was true.
“… I… I’m still very sorry. I should have been more aware of my surroundings.” Luna looked down in shame. How could she have been so careless? Twilight has been so nice to her and she repays her by using her as a pillow, of all things!
“Luna, it’s okay really. Let’s just forget it happened, okay?” Yeah, great job Twilight, those words are soooo helpful.
“Okay… um… I still offer my apologies for my carelessness.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. But, you’re forgiven” This is so weird… if anything I should be apologizing. There’s just something not right with a princess saying sorry to a normal pony… Twilight shook her head to try and get her thoughts in order. She took a breath and looked at the clock. It read twelve o’clock on the dot. “Oh, that gives us plenty of time”
“What do you mean Twilight?” Luna sat there, a bit confused by Twilight’s words.
“Oh, I mean that we still have plenty of time to do some things around Ponyville” She smiled as she said it. “Actually… I still have a few decorations that need to go up. Would you want to help me?” A smile slowly appeared on Luna’s face.
“I think that sounds like a fine idea. It is getting close to Hearth's Warming Eve after all. I’d be happy to help”
“Great! I’ll be right back” Twilight ran upstairs, leaving Luna to wonder what she had in store for her.
“So, enjoying your stay so far?” Luna jumped as she heard Nightmare’s voice.
“Oh, it’s you Nightmare… Yes, I am enjoying myself quite a bit actually”
“It certainly seems like it. Especially with you sleeping on Twilight” She let out a bit of laughter, making Luna blush. “Oh don’t be so shy about it. After all, Twilight didn’t seem to mind when she noticed after you fell asleep. In fact, she seemed rather happy.” Luna’s blush only deepened more.
“S-still, that was not appropriate of me. I should have been more careful and respected Twilight’s spa-” Nightmare cut her off before she could finish.
“Now Luna, you’re here to enjoy yourself. There’s no need to be as proper as you are at the castle. And remember, you’re here to relax and get to know a few more ponies.”
“But-”
“Luna please, you need this. And honestly, so do I. Enjoy yourself! Have some fun like you did during Nightmare Night. And don’t feel so shy around Twilight. After all, you two are in a relationship” Luna’s face turned crimson at Nightmare’s words, making the mare laugh again. “Promise me you’ll at least try to enjoy yourself?”
“I-I… I’ll try…” Nightmare smiled to herself.
“Thank you. Now then, I’ll leave you be” No sooner had Nightmare’s voice faded from Luna’s thoughts that Twilight came back downstairs, a box full of all kinds of decorations suspended in her magic. She gently set it down and started rummaging through it. She pulled out a few streamers and handed some to Luna.
“I need a few of these hanging around the house and some branches outside. Do you think you could put a few in here while I hang the ones outside?”
“Oh, sure” Luna smiled as she used her magic to lift one of the streamers to a window started to let it unwind itself down. “Like that?”
“Perfect! I’ll be back after I’m done hanging these and then I can get us some hot cocoa” Twilight went upstairs with a smile; leaving Luna to hang up the streamers she had been given. She happily started hanging the streamers from some of the bookshelves and windows. That’s when an idea struck her. She took the streamers in her magic and began to gently bring them to the center of the room. She started to twist and string the different streamers together, their colors of green, red, and white mending together and shaping to Luna’s liking. A few hours passed by as she gently twisted the last of the streamers together. She let out a happy sigh as she saw her creation. The room had the streamers gently circling it, as if in a whirlpool motion all the way to the center where they seemed to become one streamer, their colors mixing together perfectly. In the center of the room sat a beautiful heart, the many colors making up its form seemed to give it life. Giving a satisfied nod, Luna gently sat down and admired her work.
“I hope Twilight will like it…” She let herself smile, imagining Twilight’s expression as she came into the room. Her eyes would go wide, her mouth gently hanging open and it would slowly turn into a smile. Luna felt warm and tingly just thinking about it. She couldn’t wait for Twilight to come down. In fact, why wait? She was upstairs and maybe Luna could help her more there. With that in mind, Luna made her way upstairs.
“Twilight? Do you require any assistance?” As she went up she looked around a bit. It was quite a simple room, a nice purple carpet in the center, a decent sized bed, a nice little basket bed that Luna could only guess was for Spike, and a few knickknacks here and there. She then went to the balcony where she saw Twilight wrapping a few streamers around the railing. A few streamers were already hanging down from a few of the branches as well, along with a few other decorations such as snowflakes and ornaments. She walked out and felt the cold wind run through her fur. It actually felt somewhat nice and refreshing. A bit of snow was carried with it, giving it an even chillier feel. Luna took a deep breath of the icy cold air and gently breathed out, watching her breath form in front of her. She let out a giggle and went over to Twilight who was just finishing up. “That looks very nice”
Twilight jumped from hearing Luna’s voice and nearly slipped on the snow covered balcony. Luna couldn’t help but giggle. “Sorry, I did not mean to startle you” A light blush placed itself on Twi’s face as she tried to recompose herself.
“I-it’s fine. Um, so you finished up downstairs?” Luna nodded, giving her a small smile.
“I think you’ll like what I did” Twilight returned the smile.
“Well then let’s go see. I’m all done here. And thank you for helping me”
“But of course, I’m happy to be of assistance” Twilight gave another smile and was beginning to make her way over to Luna. That is until one of her hooves slid on the snow, making her trip and nearly topple over. That is if it wasn't for Luna hurrying over and catching her before she hit the floor.
Twilight laid in Luna’s hooves, their faces a few inches apart and both their faces dark crimson as they stared into each other’s eyes, both unsure of what to do in the awkward position. Twilight was stuck in Luna’s grasp and Luna didn't know whether to let Twilight get herself up or if she should help her.
“…”
“…”
“I-I… um…” Twilight managed to stutter out.
“S-sorry, here let me-” Luna tried to say.
“I-it’s okay I can-” Before either of them could finish their sentence their confused movements led to both of them slipping and their muzzles being pressed together. Both of their eyes went wide as they felt each other’s lips press against the other’s. Their already crimson faces darkened immensely as they both stared at each other waiting for the other to make a move or effort to get out of the situation they were in. However, they both remained motionless, each unsure what to do, their lips still pressed together. It seemed like an eternity to them before they both gently moved their heads back, their lips finally separating and their warm breath filling the cold air. They continued starring at each other a bit, both speechless as to what had just happened.
Twilight then slowly moved out of Luna’s hooves and stood up, however their eyes never broke contact with each other. Both of them were still confused at what had just transpired and neither of them knew what to say or do to try and make the situation less awkward. They both just continued to stare at each other, not knowing what to do. That is until Luna spoke.
“D-do… you want to see what I did downstairs… to see if you approve?”
“… S-sure… that sounds like a… good idea…” They both stared at each other for a few more seconds before Luna finally started to go back inside, Twilight slowly following behind her. They remained silent however as they began making their way downstairs, their faces still crimson. However, as Twilight made her way down she started to notice the pattern on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. As her eyes followed the streamers her eyes went wide, not with shock but with awe at the beautiful heart in the center of the room. The events from the balcony vanished from her mind as she looked at the marvelous creation before her. Her mouth hung open and she stared at the heart, also admiring the streamers that encircled it, making it look as if the whole room was centered on the masterpiece in the middle. Her mouth slightly twitched and began to form itself into a huge smile. “This is amazing Luna!” She said while still staring at the heart.
She looked back at Twilight and saw the look on her face, and couldn’t help but smile. “Y-you like it…?”
“I love it! It really makes this place feel ready for the holidays. What made you think of this?”
“I-I honestly just started putting the streamers together and… well this is what became of them…” If she wasn’t already blushing from earlier events, Luna’s cheeks would have turned red at Twilight’s generous comments.
“It looks amazing! Thank you Luna, this makes the house look great!”
“I… I’m happy I could help” Twilight’s smile was becoming contagious as Luna’s smile began to slowly widen. She started to feel a bit fluttery inside again. That’s when she remembered something that Twilight had said earlier. “Twilight, may we still have some hot cocoa?” Twilight took her eyes away from the heart and smiled at Luna.
“Of course. I’ll go start making us some” Twilight then headed into the kitchen to start some hot chocolate. She fired up the stove and poured some water into a pot and let it boil. As she waited for the water her mind went back to the balcony and the incident that had happened there only a few moments ago. The blush returned to her face as she remembered her lips being pressed against Luna’s. How soft and warm they had been. How nice it had actually felt… She shook her head, trying to clear her mind of it. “It was just an accident Twilight… just an accident…” She let out a sigh and then got the chocolate powder ready to pour into the now boiling water.
Back in the main room Luna sat near the heart she had made, glancing at it now and then. She was still overjoyed that Twilight had actually liked it. She was still a bit tingly from the unicorn’s comments about it. She hadn’t felt like this for quite some time. The last time she had felt this good was when Celestia had actually managed to forgive her for what she had done all those years ago… A gentle sigh escaped Luna’s lips as her mind wandered back to that fateful day… That is until Nightmare interrupted her thoughts.
“I thought you promised me that you’d enjoy yourself” Luna jumped a bit at the intrusion.
“Nightmare… I-I was just-“
“Thinking about something that’s long behind you? Luna, you have to move on. Celestia already said she forgave you”
“It’s not that easy… or that simple… the things I did…”
“You mean what I did, Luna”
“It’s just as much of my fault”
“Luna, you were scared and confused. You didn’t know what you were doing”
“Yes I did…”
“Luna, can you at least forget about the past while you’re here? We can talk about this later”
“… Very well”
“Thank you… now then, about what happened on the balcony” Luna’s cheeks turned crimson yet again. Nightmare just giggled at her reaction, knowing full well what she was about to say to try and defend herself.
“I-it was an accident”
“Oh, I’m well aware of that. I’m also aware of how much you liked it”
“…I…uh” Nightmare chuckled a bit, knowing that Luna could do nothing to even try to deny it.
“You two are in a relationship you know”
“I-it’s nothing official… Twilight’s just doing it so I don’t feel lonely”
“Are you sure she might not be doing it because she likes you back? Hmmm?”
“Don’t be ridiculous Nightmare… what would she want me for?”
“Because I’ve been watching her through your eyes. What you don’t realize is that she actually quite enjoys your company.”
“She’s just being nice… there are plenty of other ponies that are better suited than I am”
“That doesn’t mean that she’ll like them”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Doing what?”
“Trying to make me actually feel like there’s hope that I can be loved…”
“Because you are loved Luna. Me on the other hand, not so much. The only reason you don’t see it is because you’re not letting yourself see it”
“Because I don’t deserve it…”
“Luna… I can prove to you that you not only can be loved, but that you do deserve it”
“How?”
“Kiss Twilight when she comes back” Luna was completely silent, not believing what Nightmare was actually suggesting. “I promise that it will show you that you are loved”
“N-nightmare-”
“Just… trust me…”
“I-I don’t know if-” Luna was cut off as Twilight came back, two steaming mugs of hot chocolate grasped in her magic.
“The cocoa’s ready” With a smile Twilight offered one of the cups to Luna who took it in her own magic and slowly brought it to her mouth.
“Thank you, Twilight”
“Mhm, just be careful, it did just get done so it’s still very hot” Twi smiled at her but Luna seemed to be hiding behind her mug, her eyes looking at the ground and her ears low. “Luna is something wrong?” Luna didn’t respond, her eyes still looking at the ground.
Oh no, something’s wrong… is the hot cocoa too hot? Or maybe there’s not enough marshmallows. Or… maybe she’s thinking about what happened on the balcony… Twilight gently set her mug down on the center table and took a deep breath. “Luna, I-” She never got to finish her sentence as Luna’s lips pressed themselves against her own. Twilight’s eyes went wide and her whole body shivered at the feeling of Luna’s lips against hers once more. Her mind went completely blank, her hooves went wobbly and her fur stood on end as Luna continued to kiss her.
When the kiss finally ended, Luna gently pulled her head back, her ears still drooped down and a completely terrified look on her face as she saw Twi’s shocked expression. She sat there in silence, Twilight’s blank stare looking directly at her, making her feel even more guilty for what she had just done. There was nothing she could do or say to apologize for her actions and she knew that Twilight was mere moments away from telling her to get out of her house and to go back to Canterlot. She braced herself for the words to leave Twilight’s mouth and for the painful agony that came with them to strike her right in the heart.
Luna cringed as she felt something wrap around her. She thought it was the feeling of rejection and agony taking their hold on her once again. However, when she felt the soft touch of what was wrapped around her she slowly opened her eyes. What she saw left her dumbfounded. Twilight was… hugging her. Her embrace was warm and comforting, instead of the hateful and disgusted reaction Luna had been so sure was going to come.
Twilight’s head was lying gently against Luna’s chest and her hooves were wrapped around Luna, actually bringing a sense of comfort to her. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She was so sure that Twilight was going to reject her, so sure that she was going to be forced out of her house and told to never look in her direction again. And then she heard Twilight’s voice, which was even more of a shock than anything so far. Her voice was gentle and soft. It held no hate, no disgust, and no sense of rejection or disapproval
“Luna… you can stop crying now…” Luna hadn’t even realized the tears that had come out of her eyes. Small streams flowed from her them, creating waterfalls that fell to her chest. She sniffled a bit and tried to recompose herself as best as she could.
“I-I am… deeply sorry for my actions Twilight…” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. In fact, she was lucky enough to be able to get those words out as her mind was still trying to comprehend what was happening.
“You don’t need to be sorry Luna. In fact… I uh… I was… kind of hoping to talk to you about what happened on the balcony…” Luna stayed silent, listening closely to Twilight’s words. “I… guess my friends do know a good pony for me when they see one” Twilight looked up at her and gave a small smile.
“A-are you saying that…” Twilight just gave her another small smile and gently pressed her lips to Luna’s, her cheeks turning a bright red, as did Luna’s.
Nightmare smiled to herself as she watched the events play out before her. “I told you Luna, you are loved. And now you get to return it.”
Yaaaaaaaaay!
Awesome chapter is awesome! I really enjoy this story so far, too adorable.
3552066 Thank you very much, it means a lot
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/044/032/heart-attack.jpg
Great addition to the story. Quick question though...
What happened to your periods before closing quotes? I counted ten places before I stopped posting them in a really long, many ellipses'd quote box.
3552118 I honestly have no idea... I guess I thought it looked better...
This chapter was okay, but I feel it could be better. I liked how creatively Luna hung the streamers, and it is good to see she is starting to realize it's okay to get close to Twilight and make some romantic advances. There hasn't been much of anypony talking about their feelings though, except for Nightmare admonishing Luna yet again. Character interaction between Luna and Twilight seems to be getting shorter despite them being the main pairing. So far it feels like she's talking to Nightmare more than her love interest.
On the technical side of things, a paragraph near the beginning overused the word 'few'. If you use the same word too many times too often it will become stale and mean less to the readers. Synonyms and expressions are a writer's friend. Also, you started two sentences in a row with "that is". It is usually a good idea to avoid using the same word to begin more than one sentence in any paragraph, especially if the sentences come one after another like they do here.
I don't want to criticize this story, as I really like the strong start even if it is a little fast. But I also want to see this story get even better, so I don't mean anything personal by my criticism. Hope you find this helpful.
3552313 I very much appreciate it and trust me when I say I need criticism so don't feel bad about giving it to me.
AW! This story is so sweet! I've had a big grin on my face since reading it! Great job so far and I hope to see more.
3552330 Thank you very much, I'm glad it put a smile on your face actually you know what... I say this calls for Pinkie!
3552338 Yes! Pinkies for everyone!
Let the steamy, making out commence!!!!
3552442 I mean, I have no idea what you're talking about...
Sooooo sweet!
3552456 Princess Luna and Twilight released their sexual tension on each other.
3552572 Woah now, let's not get too crazy
This is a really cute, sweet story. "Nice" Nightmare Moon seems a bit odd and out of character, but since that's what you've chosen to go with, I'll suspend my disbelief so I can continue enjoying the story.
I'm also glad to see that you've updated this story so quickly, and I hope you'll continue updating more frequently.
There are a lot of observations in other comments about your style and content choices, so I'll leave those things alone. Beyond those criticisms is something that really, really stands out for me: Your punctuation, mostly at the end of quoted sentences, is often non-existent — I counted 40 times in Chapter 5 alone where you missed that particular punctuation.
Sentences within quotes ALWAYS end with any of these, depending on what's needed, but NEVER with just a word: , . ? ! - -- – — ... . . .
You seem to have the hang of the structure; you're just missing the end punctuation within those quotes, and it makes my eye twitch, LOL. ;)
EDIT: Cute new cover art, by the way!
3552827 Okay, noted. Thank you very much for telling me I'll try and fix it as soon as I can. Which is hopefully in the next five minutes And also I decided to make Nightmare nice just because... well, why not? Although I think it's become a bit of a cliche now I started writing this story a little while after I got into the fandom and I hadn't really done much research into the topic so my brain decided to say "Eh you know what, why don't we make the villain person a nice guy now?" So... yeah... and also thanks for the comment on the cover art, I wasn't really sure if it was a good change or not and sorry that this comment is so long...
3552948 You know, the existence and true nature of Nightmare Moon hasn't really ever been adequately explained on the show. But she showed up twice, got her tail kicked twice by the Elements, and spent 1000 years alone on the moon. So after that second defeat, you never know: she could have a softer spot for Luna, a bit of repentance and a willingness to help. You've made her into a third character almost as important as Twilight and Luna, and you've given a different spin on her, which is cool. I am just curious about her motivation and change in attitude.
3553057 Interesting way to see things, I like it and to be honest, I like to think that she's always had a soft spot for Luna
3553057
I believe Lauren Faust explained it as a separate, malevolent entity that possessed Luna and fed on her fears and the like. It was quite genocidal, it knew full well that eternal night was doom for the world. Which, she said, was just the kind of villain she went with.
Since this Nightmare has been purified, I see no reason why it's odd she be this way - aside from the fact that the pacing leaves quite a bit potential adorableness and light-fluffy-angst to the wayside. That and the "stumble into each other kiss" is so cliche it makes my teeth ache. But Goodie Moon isn't too unbelievable where purification is concerned.
There is a point just after twi comes back from getting the decorations when she says "I'll be back in a few minutes"
Later in the same paragraph its ays a few hours have passed, just something that caught my eye
Other than that a great chapter
3554093 Whoops thank you for catching that
Adorable chapter!
That Picture is so Nnnggg inducing, too cute.
You write some excellent TwiLuna, great work.
3556406>>3556502
Thank you both very much it really does mean a lot
so cute
3567908 Yeah sorry about taking FOREVER to update
3565361 Thank you
i read this at work earlyer... found it last night but didnt have time to read it.. commenting now...
In not the biggest TwiLuna fan, but this story is well written and from Twilight and Luna PoV, everything feels very real to me. I will be watching this story.
Continue working magic good author
The most glaring error I see is your lack of punctuation at the end of a piece of dialogue.
You end such a piece with nothing but a citation mark, when you should use either comma or full stop. Question mark and exclamation mark when appropriate.
It doesn't just happen a few times, but all the time. I'd suggest getting that fixed. A quick google search should bring up a few sites that explains when to use what.
Very well done chapter. I love how you have used Nightmare moon in this!
Twi and Luna getting together like this is verrry cute. It was also highly emotional and I could really feel Luna's distress right up till the point where she discovered she was loved.
Aside from any possible spelling and grammar problems (which I didn't notice any...) literally the only issue I have with this is that there is no hint of Flutterdash at the moment.
This is adorable. Love the unique perspective on Nightmare Moon.
Awwww. I really like it :)
Good chapter, can't wait for more when it comes out. Also, love what you did with Nightmare Moon in this story.
3552059 Nailed my feelings for this chapter. Loved it.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
That chapter was too cute to put to words... I loved it!
Darkstone57 where'd you get that picture from? It looks epic!
Updates. Now.