The Sleep Over
An accident, that is how it all started. It was only an accident. However, this accident changed two ponies’ lives forever. But we are getting ahead of ourselves here. Let us begin this correctly, at the beginning. It all started with a princess…
Princess Luna sat on her balcony. Her beautiful night sky was overhead with her moon lighting up the night. Everything was quiet, for winter had settled over the land. All the animals were either tucked away in their homes or gone south so they would not have to bear the cold. Nopony dared go outside either. Especially at night for fear of the bitter cold nipping at them. Luna understood this. She was also beginning to feel the effects of winter on her own body. Still, she wished somepony was awake to talk to her. There were her Lunar Guards but they weren’t big talkers. Her sister was certainly sleeping, preparing her tired body to raise the sun when she awoke. Luna let out a sigh which immediately turned to fog once her warm breath hit the cold air. With that she went inside to her chambers.
Her room was quite dark except for a few lit candles placed randomly around her room. Paperwork sat in high stacks on her work desk, books and pieces of blank parchment were scattered about on the floor and on tables. Luna’s large bed beckoned to her as she walked around her room. Its sleek silk covers dyed a deep blue wanted to welcome her with open arms. Her fluffy blue pillows begged for a head to be lain on them. Seeing no other way to entertain herself she answered their callings. She carefully snuggled into the covers and gently laid her head on the soft pillows. This time a content sigh escaped her lips. She got comfortable and just laid there, staring into the darkness around her. Of course she didn’t get into the bed to sleep. She was the Princess of the Night after all. But that didn’t mean that she could not sleep at night to be awake during the day when that was required of her. She just laid there, thinking. That was her only way to really waste time on nights like these. Her mind drifted off into deep thought. She thought about all the paperwork she still had to do. She thought about when she returned to Canterlot for the first time in a thousand years. She thought about how many ponies now actually looked at her night instead of just falling asleep. Then her thoughts wandered over to a lavender unicorn. Somepony who had helped her become better acquainted with the modern world.
“Twilight Sparkle…” Luna whispered to herself. Luna’s mind kept thinking back to that night. How kind and understanding Twilight had been. How she had helped her make some friends with many of the ponies in Ponyville. But most important of all, was how Twilight had not given up on her and stayed faithful to her. Luna smiled in the darkness.
“I should really try to go see Twilight Sparkle again. It has been a while since our last meeting with each other. Then again that second Nightmare Night was not really a get together. It was still pretty fun though. Yes, I think I shall clear a few days off to go see Twilight Sparkle, and maybe some of her friends. After all, what better time than the holidays?” With that in mind Luna noticed that her night was almost over. As much as she loved to see her sister raise the sun, she decided that it was time for her to sleep. And so, with much difficulty due to her excitement, Luna slowly faded from consciousness.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Spike! Do you know where the snowflake decorations are?” Asked a frantic Twilight as she did her best to prepare for the upcoming holiday of Hearth’s Warming Eve. However, she was in a panicked frenzy as Hearth’s Warming Eve was only four days away. She still needed to finish decorating the inside of the library, get all the gifts wrapped, and make plans with her friends.
“They’re in the closet right behind you.” A rather irritated Spike answered. He hated when Twilight got like this. She never really listened to reason in this state.
Upon hearing the baby dragon’s answer Twilight immediately searched the closet and found the decorations. She let out a sigh of relief. She grabbed the decorations with her magic and began positioning them on the celling.
“Hey Twilight?” Spike asked while finishing putting a bow on the end of the stairway.
“Yes Spike?” Twilight asked back while still hanging the last of the snowflakes.
“I’m finished decorating and I've already done all my chores. Can I go to Rarity’s now? PLEASE?!?!” Spike asked desperately.
“Sure Spike. Just remember to dress warmly and be careful out there. It’s already beginning to get dark.” Twilight said with some concern in her voice.
“Already ahead of you Twilight.” Spike said as he was buttoning up his coat and wrapped a scarf around his neck. “I’ll be back tomorrow probably around noon okay Twi?” Spike said heading for the door.
“Okay Spike, see you tomorrow.” Twilight gave the baby dragon a small smile as he departed from the library. As soon as he was gone Twilight looked around the room, looking to see if anypony was watching her. When she had confirmed nopony was near her she made her way over to one of the many shelves that lined the library. Only this shelf was never touched by anypony other than Twilight. Not even Spike was allowed near it. Why? Because this shelf contained Twilight’s special books. Most of them being photo books or some of her favorite book titles. However, there was a much more secret reason that this shelf was off limits. She looked around one more time to make sure the coast was clear. She then used her magic to get a book from the top of the shelf. It was a thick book with the title The Starry Night. She carefully opened the large book to the back cover where something was hidden in plain sight. What would seem to be a normal book cover was actually a secret compartment. Twilight gently opened the back cover to reveal pages hidden underneath it. On each page was a different date and then a Dear Diary. Twilight had been given the secret diary from Princess Celestia when she was a young filly so that she could record new spells and potions without anypony getting their hooves on them. That and to write about her day. Twilight had accepted it without hesitation. She had been writing in it whenever she could.
“Now I can finally write another entry. Let’s see, Dear Diary, Today I…” Suddenly a knock came at the door. Twilight quickly closed her dairy and the book and put it back in its place. As she ran to the door she wondered who would be bothering her at this hour. When she opened the door complete shock filled her body. In front of her was the Princess of the Night!
“P-princess Luna! W-what are you doing here? Not that there is anything wrong with you being here!” Twilight stuttered as she was still shocked at her surprise guest.
“Greetings Twilight Sparkle! I come here to… Twilight, why are you shaking?” Luna asked the unicorn. Twilight was indeed shaking and it wasn’t from the cold.
“I’m just very surprised to see you is all, and a little shocked…” Twilight said as she began to calm down.
“I see, well then. I have come here to ask you if I may be able to, well… spend a few days with you. And maybe if I could stay for Hearth’s Warming Eve?” Luna said, her confidence slowly draining from her body as the fear of rejection took its place. Twilight just stared at her for a minute, her brain trying to process what the princess had just said. Her eyes then suddenly went wide and a giant smile appeared on her face.
“YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!! OF COURSE YOU CAN STAY!!!” Luna had a shocked and confused expression on her face as Twilight jumped around her with her big grin on. Soon enough though Twilight calmed down, but the smile remained on her face. Luna couldn’t help but smile back at her. “Um, sorry about that Princess. I guess I got a little excited.” Twilight said with a slight blush on her face.
“A little?” Luna asked teasingly as her nervousness and fear faded away. Twilight’s blush deepened. “So Twilight Sparkle, where shall I be sleeping?” Luna asked while looking around the library.
"Well, I don’t really have the guest room made up yet so the best I could do is offer you my bed while I sleep in a sleeping bag.” Twilight said while feeling a bit embarrassed that she was not prepared for guests.
“No Twilight Sparkle, I shall not accept thy, I mean, your bed. Do you perhaps have another one of these sleeping bags?” Luna asked.
“I do actually, but are you sure you don’t want my bed Princess? I mean sleeping bags aren't always comfy.”
“It is quite alright Twilight, and please just call me Luna.”
“Okay Prin- I mean, Luna. I’ll go get the sleeping bags from the closet.” And so Twilight made her way upstairs. Luna looked around at the library some more, wondering if there was a good book on one of the many shelves. She looked at all of the titles and different genres but none of them really spiked her interests. Then her eyes were drawn to one particular shelf in the room. It was full of photo books and interesting titles, but one called out to her. It was titled The Starry Night. Luna was immediately interested. The book was then wrapped in a blue aurora and it floated down to Luna. She began to open the book when she heard hoof beats coming down the stairs. She looked up to see Twilight carrying two sleeping bags and a book in her magic as she made her way down. Luna put the book back in its place and headed over to Twilight. When Twilight reached the bottom she used her magic to unfurl the two sleeping bags and place them on the cool ground.
“So these are sleeping bags?” Luna asked looking at the two odd things in front of her.
“Yep! They may not be as comfortable as beds but they will keep us warm.” Twilight gave Luna a weak smile to reassure her. Luna gave a small smile in return. Luna then looked at the book Twilight was holding.
“Um, Twilight, what is that book you are holding about?” Luna asked while trying to see the book’s title.
“Oh, this is a book I think I need to take a look at again since it’s been a while since my last slumber party.” Twilight then showed the book to Luna.
“Slumber 101: Everything You Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask. Twilight, what is a slumber party?” Luna asked. Twilight’s jaw dropped open.
“You mean you’ve never had a slumber party before?” Twilight asked shocked.
“No, what is it?” Luna asked again.
“Well, it’s where a whole bunch of friends stay up late at night and have fun!” Twilight explained. Now Luna’s jaw dropped.
“You mean ponies actually stay up at night and have, fun…?” Luna asked as her excitement built up.
“Yeah! Lots of ponies do it! And we get to do it tonight.” Twilight gave Luna another smile. Luna just looked at her with complete happiness and went up to Twilight and embraced her in a tight hug!
“OH THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!!” Luna exclaimed as she spun around with Twilight still in her arms.
“Ugh Princess, do you think you could put me down please, I’m getting dizzy!” With that Luna stopped spinning and immediately put down the purple unicorn who was now swaying a little.
“Sorry Twilight, it seems I got a little excited!” Luna said with a small blush. Twilight looked at her and began laughing. Luna soon joined in. When they both calmed down a bit Twilight opened her book and began reading the first page.
“Let’s see here… The first thing we do is… makeovers!” Twilight said with a giddy smile on her face. Luna just had a very unsure look on hers.
Well, thirty minutes later and the two of them had their hair done and a mud mask on their faces. Of course Twilight did have to explain to Luna that a mud mask was not just mud from the ground that put on your face. The two sat back relaxing on their sleeping bags, each letting out a content sigh. After a little while longer of relaxing the two of them removed their masks and felt how smooth their faces had become.
“Wow, I never thought that mud could do this!” Luna said happily.
“Well, now that we’ve done makeovers, the next thing is ghost stories.” Twilight said in an eerie voice. Luna just sat down and gave Twilight her full attention. She knew of telling ghost stories. Celestia would sometimes tell her a spooky ghost story at night when they were younger to give her a scare. This usually led to Celestia sleeping next to Luna, cuddling her and telling her that she would keep her safe.
Twilight scooted a little closer to Luna and turned off the light with her magic, except for a tiny candle which she put between them. Its soft and warm glow only illuminated a small part of the two mares’ faces which gave the room an eerie feel.
“So, would you like to go first Luna, or should I?” Twilight asked.
“I would like you to go first.” Luna said as she had her ears ready to listen.
“Okay, this one is called the Ghost of Canterlot…”
And so Twilight told Luna the tale of the Ghost that roamed Canterlot Castle, seeking anypony foolish enough to enter his territory deep under the castle and trapping them for eternity in the dungeons located there. It was indeed a spooky tale, a little too spooky. Twilight then finished her story and saw Luna’s expression show a slight hint of fear as she looked back and forth in the darkness. Twilight giggled at this.
“Okay Luna, would you like to tell a story now?”
“N-no, I’m quite sure I have had enough ghost stories for one night.” Luna said still looking back and forth in the darkness. Twilight giggled again and turned on the lights once more. Luna let out a sigh of relief.
“Okay, next on the list is s’mores!” Twilight said.
“Um, what are these, s’mores?” Luna asked with a puzzled look on her face.
“Oh, they’re these delicious little treats! They’re made of graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate! They taste amazing!” Twilight explained.
“Very well then. Where are they?” Luna asked. Twilight just looked at her and began laughing. “What is so funny Twilight?” Luna asked with a rather embarrassed look on her face.
“We have to make them Luna!” Twilight said after she finally stopped laughing.
“Oh, well then let us get started.” And so Twilight led the way and the two of them went upstairs to the fireplace and began the wondrous process of making s’mores. It was a little weird for Luna at first but with Twilight’s help she began to get the hang of making the wonderful little treats. Once they were finished Luna looked at the thing called a s’more in front of her.
“So this is a s’more?” Luna asked with an unsure look.
“Yep! It’s okay Luna, trust me they taste delicious!” With that Luna slowly brought the s’more to her mouth and took a small bite. Her eyes immediately went wide and within a second the s’more was gone, eaten whole by Luna’s eager mouth. Luna then went over to the tray holding the other s’mores. They were soon all gobbled up into Luna’s stomach. Twilight just stared at the princess who still had some marshmallow stuck on her cheeks.
“I knew they were good but did you have to eat all of them?” Twilight joked. Luna blushed realizing what she had done.
“I am sorry Twilight; I don’t know what came over me.” Luna confessed.
“It’s okay, they are delicious!”
“Indeed. So what is next on our list of fun?” Luna asked with excitement in her voice.
“Let’s see here. The next thing is… Truth or Dare!” Twilight squeed with excitement.
“Um, what is that?” Luna asked.
“It’s a fun game where a pony asks another pony to tell a deep truth or to do a daring dare! It’s really fun!” Twilight exclaimed.
“If you say so Twilight. I guess you ask first.”
“Let’s see. Luna, have you ever dated another pony?” Twilight asked with a sly smile on her face. Luna immediately blushed a deep red.
“Well, I-I, um… can we do something else please?” Luna asked with pleading eyes.
“Sure, but you have to ask me a question or dare me to do something first!” Twilight said.
“Very well then. Hmmm, I dare you to… give me a hug!” Luna said with a smile on her face. Twilight blushed a little at the dare but none the less went up to Luna and wrapped her hooves around her. Luna returned the hug and tightened it a little. Twilight was shocked at the warmth of Luna’s body. She was also very soft and smooth. Luna also had this intoxicating aroma. She smelt of an open field at night during the spring with a nice breeze blowing through the grass and flowers. Twilight could have hugged her forever.
“Um, Twilight, you can let go now.” Luna said, snapping Twilight out of her trance. She immediately released Luna and backed away a little.
“I’m sorry Luna, I didn’t mean to-” Twilight was cut off as Luna hushed her with her hoof.
“It’s alright Twilight. There was no harm done. So, is there anything else to do, tis getting a little late after all. I know ponies need their sleep.” Luna said looking at the clock. It read 10:50 pm.
“Well there is one more thing but I’m not sure if you would like it. It’s called a pillow fight and what you do is…” *wham* Twilight was rammed right in the face with a pillow. Twilight slowly looked over to Luna who had a few more pillows ready to fire. Twilight just gave Luna a look and got a few of her own pillows.
“Let the fun BEGIN!” Luna declared as pillows were suddenly sent flying through the air as the two ponies began their epic battle! About thirty minutes of pillow throwing action later the two ponies dropped to the ground in complete exhaustion.
“I, I give Luna, I can’t go on…” Twilight gasped for breath.
“Nor can I. Truce?” Luna was also trying to gain control of her breathing.
“Truce.” Twilight said finally getting her lungs to calm down. The two exhausted ponies then went downstairs to the beckoning sleeping bags. Each of them gratefully entered their own bag and wrapped themselves up in the warm cloth. They both let out a content sigh and they both began to let sleep claim them. Luna looked over to Twilight and smiled to herself. Thinking Twilight had already fallen asleep she whispered,
“Good night, my little love.” And Luna then faded from consciousness. However, Twilight now laid in her bag, wide awake.
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First! Anyway, love the re-write, you should take away the original and keep the re-write.
1130123
Thanks for the read!
noted!
at first I was like
then I was like
finally I was like
oh and I think you should keep rewrite
Wow love it. And i vote you keep both chapters.
1130155
1130167
Thank you for the vote and the read!
Replace the original with the rewrite... It's so much better!
Also "my little love", eh? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
"Twilight had been given the secret diary from Princess Celestia when she was a young filly so that she could record new spells and potions without anypony getting their hands on them." Ponies don't have hands you goofball
. A very nice chapter though, I want moar!
A rewrite? You have earned yourself a follower. Any author who is as responsive to reader feedback and as dedicated to quality writing as you are is an author to keep an eye on. I'm looking forward to reading your other work as well.
Hmmm quite some changes, but yeah this is a little bit better.
Having two chapter 1s are just confusing i would recommend taking the old one down.
1130196
DANG IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for telling me!
1130197
Thank you very much!
1130207
Noted!
1130219 And that's without even reading said rewrite yet.
I loved both the original and the remake, the only thing missing in my opinion was the diary scene of the original other than that i say keep the remake.
Graham crackers*
Nice job on this rewrite, a lot more descriptive and there was some good pacing, instead of just showing up and falling asleep with little in between. Even if Luna totally blew it by just randomly calling Twilight "my love", nice job there
1130264
Yeah, I couldn't really find a place in the rewrite for it to be in there.
1130268
DAAAAAANNNGGGG IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for telling me.
And you'll see why she SEEMED to say it out of random!
First thing's first.
You raised my hopes and dashed them swiftly.
ONLY A RE-WRITE?!
Secondly,
encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHsWjc3uKzrgnXjkNGJ5Lp7dFHzJ9nr7HOQTsiQwoG8OKnIQ_k
Although the first draft of chapter one was quite enjoyable and did suffice, the second draft (as my dear chap space guy so much more simply stated) did indeed surpass the first in all aspects.
Good day.
1130334
As I blogged, the second chapter is already being worked on don't worry. Have a smile!
This was noticably better. Keep this and delete the old, keeping both can cause confusion. Great chapter :)
Excellent Re-write! The pacing issue is fixed. Though, I have to say this. When You switched from Luna to Twilight, I got confused there, as its a jump from Luna's bedroom to Twilight's Library. I recommend adding in a Horizontal rule, or something so it lets us know that there is a scene break.
Other then that, I have to say this is 20% cooler then the orginal and should be the official First Chapter. I'll continue stalking you and this story for updates!
1130442
Thanks and keep a look out for chapter two!
Nice rewrite!!!
Random question that came to mind.
If I get rid of the first chapter does that also get rid of all of the views and favs? I know that sounds greedy but I need to know.
This version is vastly superior.
Couple of spelling errors, nothing that a reread can't fix. (I find it unlikely Twilight keeps a secret dairy to write in... How would you write in a dairy anyway!
)
Fantastic rewrite - I would advise keeping the rewrite and original for a short while longer, but to remove them after chapter 2 or 3 is uploaded... Makes it easier for people who faved to see the change. I advise you to keep the "(Rewrite)" tag though.
Excited already for Chapter 2!
ImmortalScientist
1130854
Thanks and the diary thing I just thought was a good idea. Well as they say,
you can't please everyone! But I can sure as heck try to please alot of people!!!!
1130123
Ahhhaahhahahahaha i love it..... oh and i need MAOR
1130881
Thanks! Oh and if everything goes to plan you will soon see why I didn't add the diary scene. HAHAHAHA!!! But seriously there is a reason why it is not in here! For some reason when I was rewriting it my brain kept trying to follow a new stoy line so a few thing are going to be different. Sorry about that!
At least you gave me an answer!
1131135
I'll do my best not to disappoint!
Keep both. Depending on where you go with these, you may want to keep both. However, if you can/want, you should write 2 AR stories that meet up together at the first date. The original had Luna ask Twilight out, correct? Then make this Part A and have end chapter 1 when Luna asks Twilight out or something.
i like this one more than the first one personaly, keep up the good work
while the original was good, the rewrite is much better and I firmly believe that there is no need for the original with the better version right here. I say keep this and dump the other.
The original was good. The re-write is mind blowingly amazing.
Dear lord... I am now torn... WHY!!!!!!!
1131456 I like your idea but so many people just want the rewrite.
Okay let me think...
... 
... 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I might try to seperate the original to a new story if I can do that. Or since I have it saved I guess I can PM it to the people that want or like the original. That seems fair right?.... RIGHT?!?!?!?
1131648 That's kinda what I meant. Separate the 2 stories (i mean, if you want), and make one have the AR tag. Link the two to each other, and explain that one is AR of the other. Then, when the 2 plots join up (if they every do), have the AR one link to the original. Sound simple?
1131727
I thought that's what you meant but I wasn't 100% sure. Thank you very much for the suggestion!
The rewrite has many improvements as compared to the original but in my opinion, you should keep both. The original is, in itself, a beautiful moment just as much as the re-write has become, to lose one would be an act of denying access to a moment in time. ^^ So please, keep both up.
1131856
No problem! I'm always available if you ever need some advice, pre-reading, or criticism!
PM me if you need any help!
I mean this in no offence of course, but this is much better!
And if it's no trouble, MOAR, um, please?
1132138
Of course I'll make more!
I love the re-written chapter but I'd wish you kept the bit where she read her diary later on.
I think you should keep the original and continue the rewrite, or even possibly split it into two and keep both stpries going, because I would love to see what happens once Luna finds Twi's diary.
1132351
Shhhhh no spoilers!
Luna, expert at making things awkward!
2.bp.blogspot.com/-G4yRsYTG_tE/TsWA6P_qBSI/AAAAAAAAUkE/3YjfTJfcleY/s1600/85866+-+artist+negativefox+awkward+bed+fluttershy+lesbian+luna+shipping.jpg
1132455
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8pz1j3l5Y1qbpr81o1_400.jpg
1130257 this had Potential, now it has brilliance, I call for more!
Holy shit, expanded by two thousand words? Time to read
Wow, NICE rewrite. This is a lot better than the first.
Dat ending...