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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not to be mean or anything but slow the role of the story a bit it felt like I had no time to imagine the area they were in by the time they were trying to get out of the garage. Also they adjust a tad to quick the way it seems they were like awake, guns, dead guy, big scorpion, run , face scanner taking its time, garage, skycarrage , wasteland. Again not trying to be mean just wanna help the story and give helpful recommendations
9860312
Thanks for the feed back, I just really wanted get to the wasteland, ill space it out. Sorry.
9870023
Do you want me to just send you the corrections or rewrite the whole thing so you can just copy and paste?