After finding Flurry Heart lying unconscious in his kingdom, Bowser is enraged at what he found out, and sets his sights on killing the Caribou and taking over Equestria.
Sweet story so far, I can't wait to see what happens next, please tell me that Bowser will get allies to go with him to Equestria to help save the ponies while killing the Caribou, it would be cool to see him Team up with the Mario and Wario Bros. along with DK and his crew too.
Ah Bowser, a villain with morals. I would feel sorry for the caribou but they need to learn how a real villain act. I wonder if he is friendly with Gannon?
9639810 That's true, there is a difference between bad, and evil and they must know how many bad things they should commit at a time. As for Bowser and Ganon, the demon king killed bowser in Death Battle.
9639778 Yeah take it from me take the operationality in front of you like I do, yeah that's sad but still better than those guys๐ , and you don't know what's about to happen so don't jump the gun ok?
I see potential here, this story has a good premise, good plot and a good cast so far, but I feel that you need to work a little bit on how you want go present this to us readers. For most of this first chapter, it seemed more you telling us what happened and its like Iโm getting this told to me by someone trying to summarize an event.
Take for instance this segment;
The creature was a bipedal turtle-like creature covered in yellow scales all over, except for his head, which had green scales, and he had a light beige-colored snout and belly. His shell is a green color, covered in ten white spikes with orange rings. On his head, there was the beginning of two horns, and he had a lock of red hair on him. All he wore was two metal cuffs and a white bib with a mouth on it. This was Bowser Jr, Prince of the Koopas.
Yes I can visualize it, but it is wordy in its description. Its like a person writing down the cup size of โa-perfectly-of-age-younger-womanโ instead of describing her voluptuous breasts in a way that catches the readerโs attention.
I see a good story idea, and am hopeful for this work. Good luck and Iโll see you in the next chapter.
9639929 I'd say a big chance if it goes in that direction. Given the situation, I'd say they'd have a bone to pick with the Caribou over this too being heroes and all. And they have worked with Bowser before for a common goal if SMRPG, M&L SSS and SPM are anything to go by.
Would it be wrong to have Flurry and Wendy as a ship? I mean I would imagine that Flurry would be more than hesitant to have a relationship with a male considering what happened. Also a political marriage between the Crystal Empire and the Koopa Kingdom would be a good legal method to instigate a war. My only concern is how is Mario and Peach going to take this? I know neither one is a parent but I think even they would ally themselves with Bowser because of the threat the Caribou possesses.
9641356 The Star Festivals are 100 years apart, so, I'm guessing that 100 years for us would be 1 year for them, since they were around the same age when the second game began. Well, that's my general headcanon on the Mario world, anyway.
9639810 Yeah. Even Lord Ganondorf has some small amount of honor and morals. I mean at least he doesn't pull the kind of shit the Caribou always do. If that sick bastard King Dainn did anything to Princess Zelda. I'm betting he would set aside his quarrels with Link and fight along side him in slashing the living hell out of that caribou to oblivion. Let's see if the caribou dark magic can stack up against the Tri-Force of Courage and Power.
Hmm... this has potential. Follow and fav for now.
looks interesting.. Hmm I wouldn't mind to see where this goes.
Wait... so a FoE story, but with Bowser as the hero?!
.............
Know what? Imma keep an eye on this. Because this premise is too fcking awesome.
Sweet story so far, I can't wait to see what happens next, please tell me that Bowser will get allies to go with him to Equestria to help save the ponies while killing the Caribou, it would be cool to see him Team up with the Mario and Wario Bros. along with DK and his crew too.
You can't be the bad guy all the time. What reward is in for the bad guys anyways?
Oh yeah now this is a story that I'm going to like!
All hail King Bowser!
this will be watched very closely
9639567
Saving an entire kingdom from bad guys can easily ensure you can be Rich or Well protected.
Ok look, I know Nintendo stopped making only games for kids eight or ten years ago but...... hell I'll take it!
Secondly, I'm kinda glad at the one scene. I rather see Twilight get nailed by her dragon than those ugly fers.
Lastly, Flurry Heart x Bowser Jr anyone?
Ah Bowser, a villain with morals. I would feel sorry for the caribou but they need to learn how a real villain act. I wonder if he is friendly with Gannon?
9639716
Good point, and with any luck it could erase all crimes from the past.๐
9639810
That's true, there is a difference between bad, and evil and they must know how many bad things they should commit at a time. As for Bowser and Ganon, the demon king killed bowser in Death Battle.
9639778
Yeah take it from me take the operationality in front of you like I do, yeah that's sad but still better than those guys๐ , and you don't know what's about to happen so don't jump the gun ok?
(Reads Description) ...Hell Ya.
You have my attention.
good to see kammy managed to put at least a little gentlemanlyness into bowser.
I see potential here, this story has a good premise, good plot and a good cast so far, but I feel that you need to work a little bit on how you want go present this to us readers. For most of this first chapter, it seemed more you telling us what happened and its like Iโm getting this told to me by someone trying to summarize an event.
Take for instance this segment;
Yes I can visualize it, but it is wordy in its description. Its like a person writing down the cup size of โa-perfectly-of-age-younger-womanโ instead of describing her voluptuous breasts in a way that catches the readerโs attention.
I see a good story idea, and am hopeful for this work. Good luck and Iโll see you in the next chapter.
You my fine friend have gotten my attention and... you have a good story in the making, just make the next few chapters a little longer.
9639810 Also helps that Bowser's also a dad.
9639929
I'd say a big chance if it goes in that direction. Given the situation, I'd say they'd have a bone to pick with the Caribou over this too being heroes and all. And they have worked with Bowser before for a common goal if SMRPG, M&L SSS and SPM are anything to go by.
Well, it had to happen sooner or later. ... F*ck it, LET'S RIDE!
Here's hoping for a cross world alliance after Bowser saves Equestria. Also, tracking.
Would it be wrong to have Flurry and Wendy as a ship? I mean I would imagine that Flurry would be more than hesitant to have a relationship with a male considering what happened. Also a political marriage between the Crystal Empire and the Koopa Kingdom would be a good legal method to instigate a war. My only concern is how is Mario and Peach going to take this? I know neither one is a parent but I think even they would ally themselves with Bowser because of the threat the Caribou possesses.
Love this cant wait for more
9639778
Yeah, it was based off the Derpiborru image where Spike was about to rape Twilight, and, it looks official.
Huh, didn't originally plan this, but I'll see what I can work with it.
9641313 Are you going to have the other Star Children get involved with stopping the Caribou?
Did Bowser say that heโs been fighting Mario for 800 years, are they both immortal?
9641356
The Star Festivals are 100 years apart, so, I'm guessing that 100 years for us would be 1 year for them, since they were around the same age when the second game began. Well, that's my general headcanon on the Mario world, anyway.
9641408
It's just getting started, I'm busy typing it down.
9639810
Yeah. Even Lord Ganondorf has some small amount of honor and morals. I mean at least he doesn't pull the kind of shit the Caribou always do. If that sick bastard King Dainn did anything to Princess Zelda. I'm betting he would set aside his quarrels with Link and fight along side him in slashing the living hell out of that caribou to oblivion. Let's see if the caribou dark magic can stack up against the Tri-Force of Courage and Power.
9644997
Ooooo I'd love to see that shit.
Eight-Hundred Years?! Dang, Bowser, you aged well; story has a few hiccups with wording but, good so far
9659495
Could probably do with a few more read overs and maybe a editor
9659495
He's a Dragon Tortoise, both are know for being long-lived species.
9777766
What about Mario?
Or is he immortal?
10049052
Nah, he just presses restart
9640639
Yeah I was thinking the same what would be the reaction of mario and peach
9639643
Your profile pic said otherwise
I think Mario would side with bowser on this and help him fight against the caribou