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Melodius Enslavement

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Comments ( 3 )

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Gaim

Gaim #1 · Apr 16th, 2019 · · ·

Please Read and Review.

Kichi

Kichi #2 · Apr 16th, 2019 · · ·

Not bad, I guess...

RedtheDestroyer

RedtheDestroyer #3 · Apr 17th, 2019 · 3 · ·

It was a good read, but it would be better if there was more emotional tone put into the characters. It felt like I was reading a group of robots for the most part. It would also be wise to reread your work before publishing just to make sure you don't have incorrect grammar. There was several words missing mostly at the beginning of the story.

Besides that, I think this story has some promise. The sex was great which is usually the hard part in stories like these. Overall, good work, keep improving!