*** Mission Log: Sol 5118 ***
*** AOS – undefined ***
*** Message Received (Source: null): I’m sorry, Ocellus. You’ll have to come back tomorrow. ***
Opportunity watched Spike silently as the dragon talked to the young Changeling at the door. “No, I’m afraid Guidance Counselor Starlight isn’t available either. She seems to have come down with the same bug as Headmare Twilight … uh, bug isn’t offensive to you, is it?”
Ocellus rolled her eyes. “Heard it only about a million times since I enrolled. It doesn’t bug me anymore, Mr. Spike.”
“Heh, keep it up, kid. Between this and your shapeshifting abilities, you’ve got great potential as a dead-pan snarker. Anyway, I’d suggest trying Ms. Applejack. I’m sure she can figure something out until tomorrow.”
“Alright,” Ocellus nodded. “Give my best to Twilight and Starlight. Hope they feel better soon.”
“I will,” Spike said, waving goodbye to the student and closing the door behind her. “Alrighty then.” He picked up the tray he’d brought from the kitchen and had sat down nearby in order to answer the door.
*** PanCam: Subject 023/B detected ***
*** Hypothesis: Subject reacts to IDD movement ***
*** Experiment devised ***
*** Testing hypothesis ***
Opportunity’s robotic arm moved slightly forward as Spike walked in. The dragon, without even thinking about it, made a fist and bumped it against the robot while walking past and setting the tray on a workbench.
*** IDD: Impact detected ***
*** Logging test result ***
*** Conclusion: Insufficient data ***
*** Preparing to repeat experiment daily ***
Spike turned towards the sorry sight in the corner of the workshop which had Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer, two of the smartest and most powerful mages Equestria had ever seen, sitting in a fetal position and covered in blankets while their bloodshot eyes twitched in irregular motions. The objects of their scorn, two unassuming black boxes, lay in front of them.
“It’s taunting me, Starlight! What’s a DirectX? Is there an indirect X? And why would it need a specific letter to display a picture?” Twilight moaned.
“At least yours isn’t making those Tartarus-damned noises.” Both ponies jumped as Starlight’s computer made a high-pitched whining sound, indicating yet another failed recovery operation. “Ugh, it’s like it’s boring into my skull! I’ve turned off all sound. I even opened the thing up and disconnected the speakers! How can it make that sound!?”
“Not again!” Twilight almost cried when she lightly moved the mouse and was greeted by yet another blue screen. “What do you want from me? I’d be happy to restart in DOS mode, whatever that is, if you gave me any indication on how to do that.”
Spike sighed. “What a sad sight.” He poured a cup of chamomile tea for Twilight and black coffee for Starlight. Leaving them to cool for a minute, he fished a regular rock from a mixed bowl of stone and gems and laid it in front of the rover. “Eat up, Opi.”
Opportunity swiveled its PanCam to the rock in front of it, then watched as Spike picked himself a nice emerald out to snack on. Noticing the stare of the camera, the dragon paused. He moved the gem closer to his mouth. The camera eyes followed. He moved it slowly away. The camera eyes followed.
“Oh, come on!” he complained, clutching the treat protectively to his chest. “I shared my quartz cereal with you just this morning.”
Opportunity didn’t blink. The staring contest continued until a buzzing sound could be heard from the other end of the room.
“Oh, alright,” Spike grumbled and placed the gem next to the rock while moving over to pick up the glowing and vibrating journal. “Enjoy.”
*** PanCAM: Sample detected ***
*** IDD: Extending Instrument Deployment Device ***
*** RAT: Preparing for core sample ***
While Opportunity was happily grinding away at the emerald with its Rock Abrasion Tool to get at ‘the good bits,’ as Spike would have put it, the dragon read the new entry in the journal which he recognized as Sunset’s handwriting.
Hello Spike. Sorry I couldn’t get back to you earlier. Twilight (human Twilight, that is) was still at her club activities. But I’ve got her for you now.
Hello? Testing … This is Twilight Sparkle … Human Twilight.
Hello, Twilight. This is Spike. Appreciate the long-distance tech support call. Starlight and Twilight (pony Twilight, that is) have just completely shut down. I guess it has to do with those boxes Sunset gave them.
Oh, wow. This thing really works! This is so weird! I’m talking to an alternate universe version of my dog through a magical journal! How does it work? Is it quantum entanglement? Would it still work if you put three journals together? Does it have any features that …
Twilight! Focus!
Oh, sorry.
That was incredible! There’s usually no stopping her when she gets like this. How on Earth did you do that? (This is Sunset, btw.)
Practice, Sunset. You gotta pinpoint the hyperventilating pauses that pop up mid-rant. It’s hit and miss, though. Better to spot a Sparkle rant from a distance and cut it off before it happens. You’ll get the hang of it. Now, in regards to my problem?
Right, let’s get down to business. Sunset didn’t really give me a lot of info on the laptops she picked up for you. What kind of OS are we dealing with?
What’s an OS?
Okay. I’d like you to get on one of the laptops please.
I can do that. Starlight just hid under her blanket with a shriek, so I guess she’s not using hers.
Alright. I want you to press the button that looks like a little window. Keep it pressed and then push ‘R.’ In the prompt that opens, type in ‘winver’, hit Enter and tell me what it says.
I don’t see … oh, wait there it is … okay. It says Windows ME at the top. … Twilight? Still there?
… Oh, dear.
Opportunity retracted its instrument arm and looked around. It took in the sights that seemed to be becoming familiar now. Considering past mission days, something felt different. There hadn’t been any shortage of interesting things to look at, yet it hadn’t moved for days. This was highly unusual. It also logged certain subjects it had tagged in different locations. This was even more unusual. Opportunity had become accustomed to going out and finding new things, not have new things popping up out of the blue.
The machine watched Starlight rocking back and forth under her blanket. Unsure what to make of the sight, it did a panoramic sweep of its surroundings and noticed something, specifically two steaming cups, one that said ‘Best Princess’ and one that said ‘I hate Mondays’ on the side, standing forgotten on a workbench while Spike’s attention had been taken up by the journal.
It turned back to the two ponies. Opportunity, having already reached the conclusion that its mission parameters were changing, reached another conclusion. Things that were supposed to be together were apart. It had observed these subjects in specific constellations before. And the ponies always seemed calmer while being in close proximity to their respective mugs. Was there anything in its programming that could rectify this? Anything to help them feel better, as they had done for the rover in cleaning it, charging it and giving it commands?
*** Experiment devised ***
*** NavCam: Calculating path ***
*** IDD: Calculating vectors ***
*** Message Received (Source: null): What do you mean, I need to update the drivers? This thing doesn’t even have wheels! ***
*** PARTIAL COMMAND RECOGNIZED: Drive / Wheels ***
*** Powering up electrical motors ***
*** Drive mode engaged ***
*** Testing hypothesis ***
The whirring of electrical motors startled everyone in the room, making the two ponies stand up and take notice, even though the sight remained just a little comical with the blankets draped over their heads.
“What’s it doing?” Twilight asked with her jaw taking off towards the floor as Opportunity jerkily moved forward slightly.
The rover rocked slowly back and forth, testing the ground after being stationary for so long. It reoriented itself towards the workbench with the tray and took off at its blistering top speed of one centimeter per second.
“I think he’s getting your drinks,” Spike said after hastily scribbling a ‘Call you back’ into the journal.
Every ten seconds, Opportunity paused to get its bearings until it finally arrived at the workbench. In a series of intricate and precise maneuvers, it lifted the tray with its instrument arm and turned, without spilling anything, around to the ponies and dragon.
They stood transfixed while Opportunity closed in, stopped and offered the tray to the ponies. “Thank you,” Starlight managed to utter while picking up her coffee in her magic, her eyes never seeing the cup and remaining on Opportunity instead. Twilight simply took a long drink.
Opportunity set down the tray, turned to look at Spike and moved its arm to retrieve his emerald from the sample bin. Having finished with it and having logged the data for later upload, it pushed the gem back towards Spike for him to enjoy. Spike gobbled it up in one crunch, then gave the rover another fist-bump. “Thanks, Opi. If you only take a nibble, I suppose it’s fine if we share.”
Then Opportunity reviewed what it had learned and made sure to commit it to memory.
*** Experiment concluded: Status nominal ***
*** Logging test result ***
*** Conclusion: Starlight – likes coffee – hates Mondays ***
*** Conclusion: Twilight – likes tea – Best Princess ***
*** Conclusion: Spike – likes gems – shares samples ***
So I guess this version of Oppy can actually learn?
And this is a different version of humanity with a different language in a different solar system, yet Microsoft still exists? :P ;)
Meanwhile thousands of computer geeks are feeling exasperated and laughing and dont know why.
9491097
It's a universal constant in every dimension: Windows ME sucks.
Now, let's not get carried away here chief
9491103
Well, that's a conclusion based on limited data. In the scientific process, any hypothesis is there to be disproven.
As someone whose literal job it is to teach people who have never used computers to use computers, I flinched on realising Sunset just left them there without instructions.
SciTwi better get over there. Helping people with computers over text is hard enough with people who actually know a thing about computers. With people who don't know anything about computers? I'd rather move a mountain with tweezers.
Wow this was a unexpected chapter
9491102
I'd suggest they try switching to Win7 with Windows Classic theme (or at the very least, kill Aero), or if that's not available in their universe, then see if Win2K Pro is available. (Win7 Ultimate x32 will actually run surprisingly well on an Athlon XP 3200+ with 3GB RAM, and it even played nice with said computer's ancient Win2K nForce2 motherboard drivers... These days I'm running Win7 Ultimate x64 on my current computer. And yes, I use the Windows Classic theme still.)
9491105
True, but:
Who could disprov it?
9491105
Good answer
I see that Windows Millennium Edition gets the exact same scorn and venom in the EQG Universe as the Real World version gets! but if i remember correctly, since those laptops came from CHS, they would more than likely have Windows 2000 Professional or Windows XP on them (at least that is what most of the computers I had at my school during my high school days)
Windows ME.... Agggghhhhhhhhhh.... Sorry had a flashback.
Funny, how it's unintentionally giving off signs of sapience.
*shakes head*
This will be a mystery for the eons.
I don't know much about OS, but...
I'm guessing that Windows ME has a reputation of the infamous kind?
At this point, it wouldn't be impossible to convince me that it gained sapience. I wonder what Dragonfly from The Maretian would have to say about its emotions.
Anyway, if it was sapient, it said Twilight is Best Princess*, so it's my friend by default.
* I know it didn't think that.
9491138
Well, let me tell you a little story. When I was in school, there was this contest, I think it was a radio thing or something. Anyway, students could enter and if they won, they got a PC for themselves as well as six PCs for their school. And someone from my school won that contest. Basically, before the school got these six computers as a gift, there was no computer lab.
And, you guessed it, those six PCs came with Windows ME. Because a school isn't gonna say no to six free brand-new computers if they can't afford to buy any themselves, even if they come with Windows ME.
But it explains why a computer club would give them away for free upon finally receiving new ones. Anyway, that was my autobiographical contribution to the chapter.
I'm starting to think the magic of Equestria is giving the Opportunity some level of self-awareness. It is devising it's own experiments.
It's also seems to be able to read the pony language while the ponies cannot read the language written on it.
Dawww. Methinks Oppy will learn to understand ponies before ponies will learn to understand computers
I love the interactions between spike and Oppy's staring contest I wonder if Oppy can win one event against the current raining staremaster champ Flutters.
Anywho,
Uh ohhh is the RAT rated for material as hard as gemstones? I worry Oppy might wear it out, and I think its already been well worn after so long on Mars. (now I wana look this up)
also just this line about Oppy's driving software.
It really gives you an idea of just how long it takes Oppy to get anywhere at all and the fact that it drove 26.2miles is just awesome.
Hiiiiiiissssss!!! Heretic! Celestia is best Princess!
9491154
To be fair, this is a machine that was a labor of love for it's designers, FAR outperformed it's design intentions, and most of all, loved by millions of people. If anything is going to bring a machine to some level of sapience, that last one certainly would do it.
That was the same reaction I had when I read the line "Windows ME"
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Nothing good can come of that.
And it seems like Opi is starting to smarten up, I think it might start learning how to talk back to them soon.
9491102
Thanks for the reply! So Microsoft is a multiversal constant? What is Bill Gates' name in the Equestria Girls universe, then, and does his pony counterpart have the Windows logo as his cutie mark? :P ;)
Wait how can they have ME on them if they are only 10 years old? even if this is set in 2011 it would still be XP.
9491124
Windows 7 in 2019!! GET OFF THE INTERNET WITH UNSUPPORTED OS'S. This is why we can't have nice things!
I can just imagine SciTwi's face at realizing just how out of date those laptops are.
9491213
Perhaps EQGverse lags behind the real world's tech by a few years? Plus its probably public school tech so it wouldn't stun me a all if the school went cheap and the software was already old when the school got them.
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I have no idea what the computer humor means, but I love them learning how intelligent Opi is. (Also love where that name came from).
Poor Starlight
9491255
Would you like a layman explanation?
Excuse me for a while, Im just going to go have an unrestrained bout of excessive hilarity over======> there.
What is especially laughable, is that if you allows Oppy to run at its CPUs full manufactured clock speed, its likely its better specced in Ram and code throughput, than those laptops.
As for comparisons in code efficincy.
Excuse me again.
Back. Ah.. Best example I ever saw. Was someone who ran an emulator of one of Oppys familly, on a Windows machine, then the same program that was available natively for both architectures.
The emulator code ran faster than the native code.
Oppy can do the impossible. Make Windows ME multitask correctly.
Did you know that for Oppys current clock speed, consumer code includes a software based MP3 player. Speech sythesizer uses a tiny fraction of those resources.
As for Glimmers laptop making a horrible non speaker based squealing noise. Lets see, drive bearings siezing? HT coil for plastic backlight failing? Any other power supply coil? dried out filter capacitors? I cant remember what it was when mine did it.
I still think I got my ME install to work by putting in three totally different sticks of RAM, and confusing it so it couldnt work out how to break.
I suspect RAT uses diamond coat or tips, so should be ok grinding most stuff.
9491291
ok i did not know it could do that, wait... didn't the rover use a PowerPC CPU?
and also windows me...... my worst and best pal in my school years....... if only you have windows 98 on those laptops
9491213
you be shock how schools would keep old hardware laying around, when windows 7 come out my school have a few windows 95 computers laying around still in use
9491155
i know the feeling all to well. hell in 2010s my last years in high school (i left in 2012) the school about 30% of it still have system still running windows 95 on them and oh god my classroom have a windows ME on it and i took me a while to make it work right
9491155
also at this ponit the best thing they could do is downgrade it to windows 98 or put a linux os on it
archive-media.nyafuu.org/wsr/image/1451/88/1451882173413.jpg
9491291
It dose, it has 2 diamond matrix wheels
The success of this story has one central point... The opportunity rover is one of the few things that can truely make a nerd cry from sheer emotion. In a way you have managed to make a strange crossover of the trope "Person dies and wakes up in _____ setting".. Rover 'dies' and then recharges and 'wakes up' in equestria.
That got a chuckle out of me. Luckily, I've never had the displeasure of using that abomination.
Since everything just about changes when going through the portal, what would Opportunity come out as if it went through?
9491304
Its been so long ago I cant remember the correct details, only the general article.
A computer magazine, part of the Future Group I beleive, decided to do a real world stress test of PCTask, the PC emulator. Again, unsure of the actual version. They ran it on a 20 Mhz machine, the PC it was going up against was a 486DX50. It was maybe Windows 3.11 or even 95. On the PC, they ran two instances .of maybe a text program, on the enemy 20 Mhz machine they ran two simultaneous instances of the PC emulator, on each instance thay ran a seperate instance of Windows, and on each instance of Windows they ran a seperate induvidual instance of the Windows text program.
The PC was slower.
As for Oppy recognising things are different, that bit of code goes back to the 80s and was proposed for real time video based gesture control, on a machine even less powerful. After all, Oppys Martian enviroment changes due to wind etc. Reversing exactly back along its tracks cant be gurenteed not to have changed even in a few seconds.
At least Oppy should be able to cook better than Sweetiebelle. I suspect it wont ignite sandwiches?
Okay, so this story is picking up some good momentum now.
I'm really enjoying this. Keep it up!
9491289
Sure
9491324
Excuse me Sir? ... There's some officers here that would like to have a word with you
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All hail the Queen~
edit: OH MY GOD YOU'RE A RIMMER!!!!! Quick!! Someone take away his hardlight projector!!!
9491386
how can you even set a sandwice on fire any how???
I can't help but picture opportunity as a cousin to walle from Disney
9491365 Windows MEeeeeeeeeeee!
For those not getting the joke, Windows Millenium Edition was the OS Microsoft released between Windows 98 and Windows XP. And it sucked! It was buggy, slow and unstable, mostly because it was rushed to market. It only lasted a few years before being replaced by XP, which actually used many of the same features, but done right this time.
Also, it's quite clear that Opi is developing awareness and volition, if not true consciousness. It should be entirely deterministic, operating only when given a precise instruction. But it's starting to interpret instructions, even originating experiments. I think whatever magical factor makes animals more sapient in Equestria also applies to Opi. In magical terms, it's a golem, and the effect of magic on a complex structure from a low magic universe that was designed to emulate conscious action may be creating emergent behaviors.
Lol
9491517
You'll have to catch me first.
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