The Gamer: Equestria

by TerribleTy27

Chapter 4: oh hai, it's the actual canon

Chapter 4

Luck. Luck. Luck.

The word had etched itself into Spikes mind. In a vain attempt to be like Twilight, he had been pumping his spare points into wisdom and intelligence. Perhaps he could finally see the truth thanks to said stats.

Dodging to the side of his enemies attack, he fired another mana bullet.

He had begun to realize that luck was by far the most powerful stat he could dump points into. No amount of wisdom or strength could overturn a truly unlucky situation.

One last bullet finished off the manticore.

STR-23
VIT-19
DEX-16
INT-50
WIS-44
LUC-13
POINTS-170

STR-23
VIT-19
DEX-16
INT-50
WIS-44
LUC-183
POINTS-0

LUC over 100!

Steel Plot Armor
LV MAX
You thought you had MC syndrome before? You'll be wishing you did...

'That's ominous,' he thought.

Looking around the forest, he slowly began to wonder where on earth the conflict was. This was supposed to be an adventure story, correct?

Sighing, he flipped on his body enhancement skills and got ready for another round of grinding.

Alert! Danger detected!

Spike whipped his head around.

Carefully, he scanned through the foliage.

Nothing, save for the tree and changeling.

As soon as Spike made eye-contact, it made its move. The changeling rushed forward clumsily. Its fist drew back, ready to knock Spike out. Spike rolled his eyes and stepped to the side.

The changeling fell into the ground painfully. Spike winced. He was pretty sure he heard a couple cracks.

Walking over to the changeling, Spike picked it up by the leg.

~|~|~|~

Spike had learned quite a bit from the unfortunate changeling. But the gist of it was that they had spotted Spike using his abilities one too many times, and they wanted him abducted and studied. He had found out where their hive is after a bit of prodding.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Starlight asked.

He had just finished explaining what he had learned to her when she posed the question.

"I dunno," he said, shrugging.

She raised her eyebrow, before beginning with what would have been a two hour long rant-

When they spotted Twilight.

"You're kidding me," said Spike, eyes widened in disbelief.

Starlight nodded at him, expression mirrored.

Outside the treehouse and behind a bush, a camouflaged Twilight was spying on them. She was dressed in a skintight black and green suit. The skin under her eyes had a bit of black dye on them. On top of all that, an army helmet with the words 'Made in China' emblazoned on the front.

She was levitating a pencil and paper. Meanwhile, her eyes were glued to a pair of binoculars. Said binoculars were very clearly pointed at the two of them.

The binoculars slid down her face as she adopted an embarrassed smile, her constipated face vanishing in a heartbeat. Whether she was embarrassed cause she was spying or because she was caught, Spike didn't know.

'This never happened,' she mouthed to Starlight as she slithered away to parts unknown.

How could they see what she mouthed, you ask?

Well, it probably had something to do with the bush being less then five feet from the window.

"That mare needs help," Starlight muttered.

"Hey, that's my sister/mother/aunt/role-model you're talking about," Spike muttered back.

"She still needs help," she responded.

Crickets.

Spike stayed silent. Starlight picked up her book. A distant thunderstorm could be heard in the distance.

"Starlight, do you want to go back to- well, ya know ?" he asked.

She dropped her book. Sighing, she leaned back into her chair. Spike grabbed a nearby duster and started to work on a nearby bookshelf.

"I don't know-"

Crash!

"Uh, do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won't you?"

Spike turned around to be greeted by the sight of Rarity, Applejack and Twilight. Applejack had just wandered out the door, presumably to wash up.

Spike continued working, while Starlight continued reading. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

"You can stay here if need be. We'll have a slumber party!" said Twilight.

Spike and Starlight snapped back to attention. Nodding to each other, they both tensed up, ready to jump out the window.

"Oh, and Spike and Starlight can join us!"

Crap.

"Ah don't believe ah've had the pleasure ta make your acquaintance?" Applejack started.

Starlight stepped forward, grasping Applejacks hoof.

"I'm Starlight Glimmer. I'm currently renting out a room here at the library," she said.

"Oh, and I'm Spike! Y'know, in case you forgot. . ." he said, finishing slowly as he saw the raised eyebrows.

As Twilight waved around her Slumber 101, Spike whispered to Starlight.

"What are we going to do!?" he whispered loudly.

Starlight grimaced.

"Survive," she replied, her face hard as stone. Of course, that had something to do with the mud hardening on her face.

In that moment, Spike had never admired anyone quite as much he did then.

"It says here we have to tell scary stories!"

Twilight magically turned down the lights and gestured for Starlight to step forward.

"Has anyone of you ever heard of Cthulu?"

~|~|~|~

"Seriously girls?" said Spike.

Spike was currently covered in a messy blanket of pony. Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity had been reduced to tears over the simultaneously horrifying and mildly depressing story. It had all climaxed to the female lead being slaughtered inadvertently by the main character, who had been trying to save her.

Twilight coughed and got off him, followed by the other two.

"Now we have to do s'mores!" she said shakily.

As Spike and Starlight ate the s'mores, Twilight motioned to Rarity and Applejack. Huddling, they formulated a plan. Revenge would be theirs.

"Truth or dare next!" Rarity yelled.

As they sat around in a circle, Twilight gave the signal. Applejack ran off, a focused expression on her face.

"Starlight, truth or dare!" Twilight yelled.

"Truth," Starlight responded.

"Do you likeee Spike?" Twilight asked, drawling out the e.

"Uh, yes?" Starlight responded, eyes half closed and staring at Twilight in confusion.

'We've almost got her!' Twilight mouthed.

"Spike, Truth or dare?" asked Rarity.

"Uh, dare?" he responded succinctly.

"Be a dear and hug Starlight for me," she said.

Spike nodded slowly, doing as she asked. Wrapping his arms around her neck, he raised his eyebrow. Starlight spoke, a confused tone entering her voice.

"If this is supposed to be embarrassing-" she began.

"Now, Applejack!" Twilight yelled.

Before Spike or Starlight saw what was even happening, a small dress had been tossed onto Spike, while a suit onto Starlight.

Snap!

A blinding light came over them, but quickly disappeared. In its place, a grinning Twilight levitating a camera.

"They were right were ya said they was, Twilight," said Applejack, grinning.

A small apartment fire broke out across Spikes face. Starlight stayed stony-faced. However, it was clear she was very pissed, if the small army of pillows behind her had anything to say about it.

Twilight wasted no time. Leaping behind her bed, she screamed out two words that would forever be engraved in Spikes mind. These two words would forever define who he was. When he looked back on that day, they would be the only thing he could clearly remember. The whole world shuddered-

"Pillow fight!" she screamed.

It was a fight for the ages. You though Pinkie V. Starlight was awesome? You ain't even heard of the Pillow Fight of Harmony. Legends say that Celestia herself had been watching- and betting- along with the rest of Ponyville. Few can remember the details clearly. What was remembered was the massive amount of collateral damage. Windows had to be replaced. Books had to be restored. The universes karmic balance had to be readjusted.

Oh, and there was a tree or something, but that wasn't important.

~|~|~|~
Of course, Spike did have a plan for the changelings. However, it was such a terrible, horrific, altogether bad idea, Starlight would've smacked him up the jaw.

At exactly one o'clock morning, a purple dragon boarded a train for the badlands. After about an hour, he was dropped off close to the badlands. Step by step, he trudged forward, changeling prisoner in tow.

"Chrysalis, I've come to bargain!"

Author's Note:

So it turns out I write best when I consume unfiltered crack.

Just put me in front of the fimfic front page and I'll be able to pump this crap out non-stop

Comments

[diablo4000]

I hate to say this but....This is a Gary Sue Spike story now.

i read gamer fics before and they were decent not overpowering, but your just breezin thru and just making spike all powerful he can blink and tirek will be defeated thing level.
Plus no idea what the plot is anymore, So I'm out.

[JD McGregor]

he decides to give Spike the abilities of the Gamer.

So, Spike now has the power to yell racist insults while playing Call of Duty?

[TerribleTy27]

9383142
This made me chuckle

9382967
I don't blame you. It's to be expected when you spend a max of 2 minutes double checking your plot and proofreading. Simply put, while I spend every spare moment I can writing, it just isn't enough. On top of that, those 'spare moments' are usually in between arguing about something or other or working, so I'm usually very stressed and dead tired when I'm writing.

Nonetheless, any tips for making Spike less Gary-stu-esque? I had assumed it would be okay as long as I made the emotional conflict compelling, if not the physical. Kinda in the vein of One-Punch-Man.

[diablo4000]

9383809
All i can say or advise is read other gamer fics. The main problem is you are jumping around so fast, and leveling up Spike without any challenge or effort.
Nor story or description, otherwise. Where the addventure, where the challenge, where the drama, you skipped it all.

spike awakens the gamer fic five seconds later he level fifty billion.

There a Game of Thrones Gamer fic you should read, takes it nice and slow and in way that makes it interesting nor Gary stu like.

[TerribleTy27]

9384040
Do you have the name of the GOT gamer fic?

[diablo4000]

9384107

9384107
Sent you two links.

[TheDreamCacher]

Dis shit is gud bruda

[Dapper Mutt]

That last line reminds me of Dr. Strange. Anyway, I can see why some readers don’t like Spike leveling up so quickly, but I’m largely fine with it. It is still an interesting quick-read. I was a little confused about what was going on with Pinkie and Starlight coming back in time or whatever, but I don’t think it was a big deal. Good job writing this, even though it’s been canceled. Not the best thing I’ve ever read, certainly, but it made me laugh. It’s nice, I think, to have slower and longer stories, but it’s even nicer to have those in addition to having shorter ones like this where characters are a bit more aloof towards the show’s events. Thanks for writing.