A request by Pascoite:
Two Broke Girls, only it's Lyra and Bon Bon trying to open a cupcake shop.
“Net Worth: 344 Bits”
The words floated above the mantelpiece, written in the air in glowing text. The characters were blocky, formal, and written in an aggressively artificial electric blue. They couldn’t have been less Equestrian if the designer had been trying.
And yet, Lyra smiled. She reached up to the mantel to adjust the little golden toy bauble that projected the letters. A few nudges of her hooves turned it this way and that, until the letters looked just right.
“You got conned,” Bon Bon said.
“I did not.” Lyra huffed. Her eyes stayed on the projected letters. “I like it. It feels affirming.”
“It cost a hundred bits and it doesn’t do anything you can’t do with sheet of paper and a pen. Write down your current net worth and tape it to the mantle.”
“It does more than display letters.” She flicked her tail and stepped away from the mantel, her adjustments evidently complete. “It’s enchanted with arumancy -- the number will automatically update itself: any time I get a paycheck, or buy something, or lose an asset.”
“Oh, really?” Bon Bon stepped across the room, picked up the box of cookies Lyra had bought that morning, and gave them a strong toss. They flew out of the living room and into the kitchen like a shot from an arrow, struck the wall, and tumbled down into the trash can. Bon Bon’s aim was perfect.
The bauble on the mantel buzzed, and the displayed text changed: “Net Worth: 343 Bits”
“Huh.” Bon Bon lifted an eyebrow. “Didn’t think that would work.”
“Bon Bon!” Lyra snapped. “That was mine!”
“Fine fine.” Bon Bon sighed and lowered her head. “I’m sorry. I’ll buy another box of cookies. One of the nice boxes instead of the cheap ones.”
The bauble buzzed again: “Net Worth: 345 Bits.”
“Oh hey,” Bon Bon grinned. “That is pretty cool.”
Lyra’s frown deepened, and she was not the least calmed by the peace offering: “If you’re going to make fun, I can step outside so you can have the house to yourself.”
“Woah.” Bon Bon lifted a hoof. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Lyra. I didn’t think it would upset you that much.” After a moment, she frowned. “Are you okay? I guess I don’t get why this thing means so much to you. Why blow a fourth of your savings on a device that measures your savings?”
“It means ‘so much’ to me because I don’t need another hundred bits in savings.” Lyra’s tone turned firm. “I need another ten thousand bits in savings.”
When Bon Bon started and didn’t answer, Lyra continued: “Because that’s how much it’ll cost to open our cupcake shop. Remember?”
Bon Bon froze for half a second. Then she chuckled. “Lyra, we talked about this. You know we can’t afford to open our own shop. It took you years just to save not-quite-four-hundred. The Sweets Factory gives me a regular salary. And we have stability. And that’s…”
Bon Bon trailed off, circling a hoof in the air. Eventually she finished: “I mean, that’s pretty good.”
This time it was Lyra’s turn to stare in silence. Bon Bon blushed, and her tail tucked in between her legs. “I’m sorry,” she said, softer than she’d said it before. “I’m really sorry, Lyra. I just don’t think it’s going to happen.”
“Well, I do.” Lyra sniffed. “You make great cupcakes. The Sweets Factory doesn’t deserve you.”
A soft smile touched Bon Bon’s face. She crossed the distance between them, and wrapped Lyra in a hug. Lyra hugged her back, and they stood there in silence for some time. Eventually, Bon Bon asked: “Did you have any concrete plans to back up all that bravado?”
“Well, the way I figure it, if I play the lottery every day—”
The thing on the mantle buzzed, louder than it had before. The numbers changed: “Net Worth: 14 Bits”
“Hey!” Lyra snapped at the thing. “Don’t go flying off the… magic handle. You haven’t heard my plan yet. I have a system for picking winning numbers, and—”
The thing buzzed. “Net Worth: -266 Bits”
“You stupid-!” Lyra reached up to the mantle, but before she could, Bon Bon blocked her grasp.
“No no. You know what?” Bon Bon said, gently guiding Lyra’s hoof back to her body. “I’ve changed my mind about this thing. Money well spent.”
...if this thing has predictive analytics capability, money SO well spent. Quick, some tests to see if it can predict the future or if it’s just modeling!
Okay, being able to predict what net worth will be based on intended actions definitely makes that thing worth 100 bits. You can throw your plans to make money at it, and it'll tell you if it'll work!
"automatically update itself: any time I get"
"automatically update itself, any time I get"?
"The bauble buzzed again: “Net Worth: 345 Bits.”"
It buzzed up to the... promise to buy another box of cookies, in the future.
...
Okay, so, in a way, something owed to one is sort of an asset, but I think I may also be seeing how this will go wrong...
"The thing on the mantle buzzed, louder than it had before. The numbers changed: “Net Worth: 14 Bits”"
Or, alternatively, it could be setting up for a joke. :D
...
Wait.
Um.
Yes, Lyra, you might have a system for picking winning numbers. Just start running through a list and see what the gadget does in reply to each one. :D
(I see the previous two commenters had similar thoughts, as well.)
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"Oh no, it's not a full predictive augury suite, that costs a ton and gets you put on the EIS watchlist. This thing just has BHSE."
"What's that?"
"Basic Horse Sense Emulation."
"Hey!"
Aww. Lovely fluff and equally lovely Lyra shenanigans.
Yay!
I thought you had abandoned this project, but I'm glad to be wrong!
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I'll stop when there are actually fifty stories!
"Net Worth: 343 Bits."
"Don't worry Lyra, you have my love as well, and that's priceless!"
"Net Worth: 347.3 Bits."
Story Prompt Idea: Ponyville is chosen by Amazon for its HQ2.
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Story promt: Spike grows to realize that a relationship with Rarity is unfeasible and stops pursuing the mare. Everyone except spike already knew this. Then why is the marshmallow mare upset about the change?