Context Matters
A request by Kai Creech:
Pinkie Pie is Princess Celestia from the future. Twilight finds out after her first date.
“Twilight, before we keep going, there’s something I should tell you.” Pinkie Pie took a breath. “I know this will be very strange, but do you remember your past experiments with time travel? Do you remember proving that stable time travel was theoretically possible? Well, it is and…”
She set her jaw, steeled her shoulders, and blurted out the words: “I’m actually Celestia from the far future!”
Twilight paused. She frowned. Then she sighed, wings and shoulders slumping. “Pinkie if you’re not comfortable having sex on the first date you can just say so.”
Pinkie froze. “Wait… wait. What?”
“Really, it’s fine. I was too aggressive.” Twilight smiled, and her tone lightened. “You want to go downstairs and watch a movie or something? The projector’s all set up.”
“No, Twilight.” Pinkie lifted a hoof. “I’m serious! The dimensional rift spell destroyed my physical form, but I was able to possess the body of a young earth pony mare who…” Pinkie trailed off.
Twilight was giggling. “No no. Keep going.”
“Twilight, I’m serious.”
“I’m serious! Keep going.” Twilight smiled, resting her chin on a hoof as she watched Pinkie from across the room.
“But you clearly don’t believe me!” Pinkie let out a massive sigh. “Would I make something this big up just to get out of… uh. You know. And it’s not like we were about to… do that. Anyway.”
“Really?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Because we had a nice date, had a few drinks, and then I invited you to my house and upstairs.”
“I’ve been upstairs before.” Pinkie frowned. “Plenty of times, even! I helped decorate it. It’s a very nice upstairs.”
“Yeah.” Twilight waved a hoof. “You’ve been up here before as a friend.”
“I’m still a friend.”
“You’re still an amazing friend. But, Pinkie,” Twilight chuckled and made a broad gesture, “I’m just putting this out there. You’re already a kind, funny, faithful, loyal friend, and I would absolutely say that I love you. Just like I would say I love any of the girls. And it’s true! But in that context, the primary difference between a pony you love platonically and a date is -- and not to put too fine a point on it here -- your tail looks amazing.”
Pinkie pause. She reached back to feel her rear with a hoof. “Do you mean, my uh, actual tail?”
“I do not.”
“Wow. Wowee. Okay. This puts the last several hours in a really different context.” Pinkie bit her lip. “But, Twilight. I’m serious. I really am Princess Celestia from the future!”
“Okay.” Twilight shrugged. “Say I accept that as true. It doesn’t make you any less my friend. It doesn’t change the great evening we had together. Even if it’s true, does it matter?”
Pinkie considered that for some time, finally she said: “Princesses don’t put out on the first date.”
“Cadence does.”
Pinkie cleared her throat: “Well.”
“I do.”
“Uh, I mean. Obviously in this particular—”
“Luna does.” Twilight clarified. “And let me be clear. Luna lets ponies tie her up and crop her on a first date.”
Pinkie snorted and rolled her eyes. “I know, right? I blame the lack of a positive female role model in her life growing up. I mean she seems happy…” A sigh escaped her. “Maybe I’m just a prude.”
“Not wanting to get physical on the first date does not make you a prude. I’m serious. Let’s go watch a movie.”
“Alright. I’d like that.” The two of them walked side by side through the castle halls, until finally, Pinkie Pie asked: “Hey, Twilight? Did you ever check me out? Like… past me. Me as Celestia.”
“If you’re Pinkie Pie, you must have seen yourself whenever we visited the palace. What did you think?”
They walked in silence for a time, and Pinkie seemed lost in thought. It was only when they arrived at the movie room that she said: “I’ve got a great tail.”
Twilight’s actual, literal tail flicked, swatting Pinkie Pie across the rear: “You sure do.”
Twilight didn’t think much of the incident after that night. She put it down to a somewhat strange first date, notable only for an anecdote that might be a little funny to retell.
But for Celestia, it was the strangest night of her life.
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Awesome!
It says a lot about Twilight that's all this warrants.
9181858
Really does.
~Skeeter The Lurker
9181858
Does it say more about Twilight, or the utter insanity that is Tuesday in post-Return Ponyville?
"“Luna does.” Twilight clarified. “And let me be clear. Luna lets ponies tie her up and crop her on a first date.”"
...Sooo, Twilight, ah... how exactly do you know that?
9182145
Luna seems like the kind of a pony who will boast about their date last night at the breakfast table, possibly in epic verse.
9182145
HMMMMMM
9182521
She would. She really, really would. If for no other reason but to tease her sister.
So, I guess Celestia has been through quite a bit in the far future hasn't she? To transform into a force of pure party...
Loved it. Loved Twi reassuring Pinklestia. Love that it combined two great ships into one. Bravo.
Son of a... I only read the suggestion and my head already hurts! Now I have to read the rest and I know my head will probably explode.
10302443
Yeah, how much do I need to drink to get this head cannon out of my head? This just makes Pinkie even more out there than she already was.
Jaxie, I don't know where you find your stories but that place is scary
To cut a long story short?