• Published 1st Aug 2012
  • 1,477 Views, 28 Comments

The 'Mane' Problem - RazorSharpFang

Rarity has an ... issue with her shampoo... which has an issue with her. Panic ensues.

  • ...


“I don’t have time for this, Spike! I need to OW!” Twilight half-cried, covered in gauzes, stopping her grazes from bleeding. She yelped when spike applied another one to her flank.

“You don’t have time to care for yourself? You JUST fell down the stairs! You’re practically covered in grazes.” Spiker replied, slapping another one onto her back, eliciting another squeak from Twilight. “I understand that you’re concerned about whoever it was that you cast that spell on, that you’re not telling me about, but you won’t be helping anypony if you don’t take care of yourself first.” Spike spoke a voice of wisdom, calming Twilight down a little bit.

“Fine. But if you’re done, I’d like to go research this.” Twilight sighed, trying to be patient. “How many more do you have to DO?!” Twilight yelped again as Spike applied another.

“None! You’re all set. Take care of yourself, ok?” Spike asked, putting the first-aid kit away. Twilight stood up from her sitting position, testing out the gauzes, which were all staying on. She leapt towards the door, eager to start searching.

“Alright, I’m going to start researching. Get some sleep, Ok?” Twilight started, turning around to see Spike frowning, reminding her that that was what he was doing until she interrupted him. “Right. See you.” Twilight replied, trotting out the door, letting Spike return to his bed. The night had begun several hours ago, the air now cold, the sky a dark blue, painted with stars. Twilight’s horn glowed white, and Twilight’s search began. ‘Time to find you!’ Twilight mentally declared to herself. She trotted out, into the darkness, eager to find the mystery.


The evening passed uneventfully for the white unicorn. It was filled with deep, restful slumber, which was rather needed after the events of that day. A mare has to look her finest. She began to stir as the bright sunlight penetrated her sleep-mask speaking ‘Good morning’ to the young unicorn. She lifted her hoof off, throwing the sleep-mask to her side, looking towards the sun, which was just above the horizon. ‘Time to get up’ She thought to herself groggily, her body stiffened from the long slumber. She rolled onto her side, and snuggled into her blankets. They were soft, silky, warm and pliant. ‘Wait, pliant?’

She ran her hoof through her blanket again. It parted, allowing her hoof to pass through it. Her face scrunched up. ‘Do I have a hole in my blanket?’ she thought to herself, as she brought her face to the blanket. It was purple. Her blanket was red. She looked around, startled, attempting to discern the situation.

Once it dawned on her, she screamed.

Sweetie Belle fell off her bed as she was forcefully pulled out from her sleep. She groaned when she realized it was Rarity screaming that awoke her. ‘Not again…’ She thought to herself. ‘Rarity’s such a drama queen sometimes…’ She pulled herself off the floor, and walked towards Rarity’s room, from which some movement could be heard. Sweetie Belle knocked on the door with her hoof.

“Rarity! Can you not scream every time you wake up? It’s getting annoying!” Sweetie Belle called at the door, annoyance dripping from her tone. Seconds pass, and nothing can be heard from the door anymore. Sweetie’s expression changed from annoyance to concern as the seconds continued to go by. “Rarity? Are you Ok?” Sweetie called into the room, but was met without response. “I’m coming in, Rarity.” Sweetie called once more, pushing the door open.

She wasn’t there, not at all. Sweetie Belle scanned the room, looking for her sister, but come up empty. She walked into the room bewildered. ‘Where could she have gone? I know she was here before…!’ Her thought process was interrupted by a squeak from one of Rarity’s wardrobes. Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. She should have checked there first. She walked over to the wardrobe and opened it, her eyes widening at the sight. “Rarity?!”

Rarity sat, slumped down in the corner, her hair far longer than it should be, filling up the space inside the wardrobe up to her head, leaving her head just above the mess of tangled hair. She looked incredibly confused. “Hi, uh, Sweetie Belle. I woke up like this…” Rarity picked up a piece of her hair, which had turned light again, and flowed down as she released it.

“How does that even happen?! Hair doesn’t just grow that long overnight, that’s impossible!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, the weirdness of the situation getting to her.

“You mean just like how hair doesn’t cut itself short over a half-hour?” Rarity asked sarcastically, attempting to draw attention to the weird activity yesterday. It sailed right over Sweetie Belle’s head.

“Yeah! Just like that!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed again, glad that her point was conveyed and received so perfectly. Glad until she saw Rarity’s facial expression, seething with sarcasm and am-not-amused. “Right. Well, you can just cut it, right? It’s just longer than before, now. Cutting it should work.”

Rarity looked down, her expression changing to sadness. “I’ve already tried that. It didn’t work.” Rarity breathed a deep sigh. ‘Why does this happen to me?’ she thought to herself.

“What do you mean, cutting doesn’t work? How can cutting hair not work?!” Sweetie Belle questioned. “That doesn’t make any sense!” Rarity replied by levitating the scissors she used to cut her hair previously. Levitating a lock of her hair, along with the scissors, she cut a large portion off, which evaporated in a beam of light as it hit the ground, reforming where it was cut. Sweetie Belle’s mouth disengaged as she witnessed the scene. She was speechless.

Rarity sighed, resting her head onto the purple blankets which were her hair. “I just feel like giving up… everything just been going wrong, I can’t cut it, it’s hopelessly long, and do you have any idea how long it’ll take to get the knots out? Or even separate my mane from my tail?” Rarity gave a small whimper and buried her head in the mass that was her mane and tail. You couldn’t tell which part was which.

The doorbell sounded with a sharp ding noise, eliciting surprise in Sweetie Belle, and horror in Rarity. Rarity pushed Sweetie towards the door. “Sweetie Belle, please answer the door for me. I can’t be seen in this state!” Rarity closed the doors of the wardrobe with her magic, concealing her inside her room. Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, and made her way to the front door, which had been making dinning noises continuously. Somepony was repeatedly pressing the doorbell, irritating everyone within earshot. Sweetie Belle opened the door to see her standing there.

It was Pinkie. The personification of pinkness-in-overdrive was hopping from left to right in a frantic manner, concern plastered all over her face, which was not in its typical smile. “Hiya Sweetie!” Pinkie greeted Sweetie Belle, continuing to bounce around slightly. “Is Rarity in? There’s something I need to talk with her about. It’s REALLY important.” Pinkie drew her head super-close to Sweetie Belle when she said ‘REALLY’ for emphasis, momentarily stopping her erratic bouncing everywhere. Sweetie Belle arched her eyebrows, Pinkie’s behaviour confusing her.

“Um… Rarity doesn’t want to um… see anypony right now, sorry Pinkie.” Sweetie Belle spoke quietly, unsure how to phrase that to not let out Rarity’s condition. “She can’t see anypony, maybe you can try tomorrow!” Sweetie Belle gave her best smile to hide her worry about Pinkie’s expression, which had turned dead serious. ‘Pinkie is serious! Pinkie is serious!!’ She thought to herself.

A sharp noise was suddenly evoked from Sweetie’s right, clawing at her for attention. Pinkie turned her head, giving the brightest smile should could, pointing at the source of the noise and yelled “Oh My Gosh!! Free Cutie Marks!!” while keeping her eyes locked on Sweetie Belle, who’s entire attention was turned to the source of the sound. While Sweetie was distracted, Pinkie rushed into the house, navigating towards Rarity’s room, and opened the door to Rarity’s wardrobe before Sweetie could even react. “Rarity!!!” She yelled at the top of her lungs towards the white head which was sprouting up from a mess of purple hair.

“Pinkie?! What are you doing here?!” Rarity cried in shock, completely ruffled by Pinkie’s explosive appearance. “I thought I told Sweetie not to let anypony in!” Sweetie Belle appeared in the room several seconds later, apparently having actually gone and looked for the free cutie marks, with a sheepish expression on her face.

“Rarity, I’m so sorry to barge in like this, but you need my help! I know ALL about your problem and can help you fix it!” Pinkie yelled at hyper speed, just like she did everything else possible. Rarity’s eyes widened at her phrasing, and her eyebrows arched in questioning.

“Pinkie, how did you know my hair was like this?” Her arched eyebrows turned into a frown that was furrowed. “You haven’t been SPYING on me, have you?” It was Pinkie’s turn to widen her eyes as her expression turned expressionless. She stood still for several seconds before responding, her mouth disengaged. Finally, after what seemed like forever to Rarity, she gave the most sheepish face and an awkward smile appeared as well.

“I… may… have been… observing you a little, but it’s totally not spying! I was interested in what you were doing with Twilight, but it turns out it was something completely different to what I thought you were doing, so it’s ok, but you’re in this terrible state now, and that’s so sad, so I was totally going to help you and stuff, but I fell asleep, and now here I am!” Pinkie stammered initially, mulling over which words to use, but then her pinkness took over and she continued streaming out words far faster than is normal for conversation. “Come on! We need to get some help!” Her mouth arched into her normal Pinkie Pie super-smile.

“I can’t do that Pinkie, I am not leaving this spot until I get my hair back to normal. I can’t be seen like this, let alone move with all this tangled hair!” Rarity replied, struggling a little big with her hair, which had gotten surprisingly tangled for her lack of activity in the wardrobe.

“Then I’ll bring the help to you!” Pinkie exclaimed, in full-volume again. She rushed out of the boutique with hyper speed, sending a gust of wind whirling through the house. Pinkie was no longer anywhere near the boutique.

“I’m a little worried about what Pinkie is going to bring back with her…” Rarity sighed, resting her head on her hair again.


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Comments ( 7 )

Space Ghost Coast to Coast reference, actually, but thanks for playing. If you'd clicked his link you'd have realized it wasn't a spelling mistake.



A little bit late, aren't you?

>commented 7 months ago


Well, nobody else told you. Can't help that I only just found this fic.

2325254 2331878
Personally, I thought she would have used L'oreal.
Because she's worth it. :v

that's a very good fourth chapter that you've wrote.

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