"Fuck me sideways with a canoe." I'd rather not, thanks XD ANYWAY. This was a fun chapter to read. We got some idea as to what happened to Spike. Can't wait to see what happens next!
just wanted to thank you for the story so far, cant wait to see what spikes gonna do with those cameras lol look forward to the next chapter :) keep up the good work :)
I know I said I wouldn't do edits, but this is a mistake, and with it comes some necessary edits.
"Well the day after is Saturday and my mom is wanting to spend the day with me since it's been so long since we've spoken face to face," Spike admitted. He aldo didn't want to tell her that Celestia wanted to spend some time with him on his 18th birthday. Celestia made it abundantly clear that she wasn't going to take no for an answer. "You can come with if you like, but she'd be here around evening and probably well into the night."
Twilight thought for a second before smiling. "Ok, i'll think about joining you and Celestia, but Saturday's a date. I know a few good places around the nearby town since I doubt you've been there," She said with a smile.
wants also I'll The primary mistake here, however, is that he said they were going tomorrow, and the day after was Saturday, and it's said later that they're going tomorrow, so they're going on the Friday. As such, Twilight should not say "Saturday's a date" since it's not Saturday, it's Friday/tomorrow.
The story is enjoyable and it has promise; however, if I'm being entirely honest, it's a bit messy. you have numerous capitalization errors with names, wrong words, often by a letter so a simple mistype I suspect, words that are missing, and in general you seem to be forgetting the timeline you've set up. The story is promising, so please, find an editor to look over what you have and new chapters so you can fulfill that promise. As it is, it's very jarring to have so many mistakes. Fix them, learn, and do better, i look forward to seeing what you can do, if you decide to follow this advice.
"Um, aren't gophers little burrowing rat like things?" Rainbow Dash asked, which caused Spike, Spitfire, Twilight and few others in the class to facepalm.
This was a a cute chapter I'm happy we finny. Knopf most of what happened to Spike but I wonder who or what's following Spike and hope he is going to be OK .this chapters end had me at the end of my seat wondering what's going to happen next. I hope Eris join falls for him to.
Nice.
it was worth the wait but now i have to wait even more for the next one! celestia bless you and damn you! :D
"Fuck me sideways with a canoe." I'd rather not, thanks XD ANYWAY. This was a fun chapter to read. We got some idea as to what happened to Spike. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Ok, this suddenly got a lot more...interesting. Keep em coming, because i cant wait 👍👍👍
just wanted to thank you for the story so far, cant wait to see what spikes gonna do with those cameras lol look forward to the next chapter :) keep up the good work :)
Really nice
Great story so far, keep up the good work 👍
A struggle between Gabby and Twilight for Spike.
I hope Spike gets Eris in the harem. Also, good chapters so far. And maybe put Chrysalis in harem as well
Noooo I want more
This is good, please continue.
Yeah, I'm not going to do edits on this unless you ask me to, because it's 11k words.
I know I said I wouldn't do edits, but this is a mistake, and with it comes some necessary edits.
wants
also
I'll
The primary mistake here, however, is that he said they were going tomorrow, and the day after was Saturday, and it's said later that they're going tomorrow, so they're going on the Friday. As such, Twilight should not say "Saturday's a date" since it's not Saturday, it's Friday/tomorrow.
The story is enjoyable and it has promise; however, if I'm being entirely honest, it's a bit messy. you have numerous capitalization errors with names, wrong words, often by a letter so a simple mistype I suspect, words that are missing, and in general you seem to be forgetting the timeline you've set up. The story is promising, so please, find an editor to look over what you have and new chapters so you can fulfill that promise. As it is, it's very jarring to have so many mistakes. Fix them, learn, and do better, i look forward to seeing what you can do, if you decide to follow this advice.
Ok this is an unexptected turn but i like it plz continue
Interesting, so far. Kinda look forward to the sexy stuff, but the story is pretty good.
Please update.
Good concept, though the grammar and spelling is a bit of a drag.
Can we get a new chapter please
this is a great story i hope to see more soon
Weak and cowardly Spike, got it.
i need a update plz.
I will be reqisitioning the phrase "fuck muppet" for future use. Good stuff.
This was a a cute chapter I'm happy we finny. Knopf most of what happened to Spike but I wonder who or what's following Spike and hope he is going to be OK .this chapters end had me at the end of my seat wondering what's going to happen next. I hope Eris join falls for him to.