Well this was interesting for sure. I do really REALLY hope Spike doesn't mess with Cadance. It would be SOOOO fucked up for him to mess with a married mare and with his aunt like figure and the wife of the man who was like a brother to him and one of his guards growing up. It would just be really messed up and make Spike lose alot of points to be honest. But I this IS one of those stories where for some reason every female in the world is throwing themselves at a 15 year old or however old he is.

I would hope for a Lavender Pony x Purple Dragon moment of passion first but it'll probably won't be one in this fic......
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just trying to dream...

I am intrigued.

I look foward to future chapters!

Promising. Lets see how ot will continue

maybe dont descibe half your cast by bust size alone...its a tad creepy bud, were ment to be rootig for spike, not put off at him leerig at women and guessing cup size on site.

at least drop the exact numbers stuff. comes off as pure fap fuel and less creative excercise.

9038766
I am so with you there. That seem to be the biggest thing I am worried about in this story. So far Spike comes off as a real creep and a pervy little brat. I don't want to see this as a story where Spike does no wrong, is praised and beloved by everyone. I think having a very tight core group of girls show interest in him would work since let be honest why in the world would EVERY female in the school fall for a 15 year old. I can see like 2 or 3 of the mane six and maybe the CMC since they would be his age. But we need to see him as more than a little perv or some Gary Sue style character.

9038902

its gonna get crap....anytime they describe a cup size before a face or clothes, or do it in a block of text that seems soved in hamfistedly

i
9038902
i mean it sounds like

“guys, guys, i didnt look at her face but her chest was this big” then proceedes to hold up a real bra from somewhere. its..sorta creepy when your main can pinpoit a vauge part of human anatmey and basicly dose so with his COUSIN and a like 100 year old woman

9039256
Yea my biggest thing is just when we see the women not treated with respect but just objects to collect. It has always been something that bugged me when it is like one guy and 100 women and all of them love him when he has shown no real positive traits or distinct personality. And I just feel in this case it should be even more selective with the female(s) that he get involved with seeing how he is so much younger even if we don't get any intimacy till he is older. I mean he is in his mid teens grown women will be throwing themselves at him? It is early so I can only hope it happens, but as of now we haven't seen relationship build, I mean really build. Like we see them as friends and he get to know them. I am hoping really that with the three years that this story will have till any intimacy take place that time will be used to really build and work out some genuine relationship that make me truly become invested in the pairings.

9039435
Sorry for not responding earlier. I apologize for the descriptions regarding both Twilight and Cadance. I wasn't satisfied with them when I posted it, but I wasn't unhappy with them. I didn't realize that they were so bad though. I am grateful that you brought it to my attention though. I have edited their descriptions a bit.

Now regarding Spike's age, he is 17. The first few lines of the story description say that his 18th birthday was a little under a month away. Also I am not going to have every girl throw themselves at him.

Again, I do appreciate you bringing this to my attention.

9038766

9038902
It's a Spike harem fic, what do you expect? They're all the same.

The first thing that popped into my head when I saw the title was All Might XD

this is looking promising, i love all the school MLP spike harem stories that have some deep to them instead of just a full flage hentai, keep the good work

Okay, so, a while back I read the first chapter of this and stopped, most likely because of the thing PinkiePiesPartyPerson said. However, I'm here now, I can see that it's gone, I think this is well-written, and so I'll begin reading now.

Just remember: If you make a spelling mistake or grammatical/sentence structuring error, I'm probably going to comment on it, such as this:

"I see," Spikesaid, not really sure how to move the conversation forward, especially since he felt her logic in the latter half of her statement was flawed.

Spike said

Cadance could only laugh and hold back a laugh.

Wait what

I'm loving this so far it's funny and awesome read so far.