LaughingDragon
Joined 26th Sep, 2013 ·
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Well this was interesting for sure. I do really REALLY hope Spike doesn't mess with Cadance. It would be SOOOO fucked up for him to mess with a married mare and with his aunt like figure and the wife of the man who was like a brother to him and one of his guards growing up. It would just be really messed up and make Spike lose alot of points to be honest. But I this IS one of those stories where for some reason every female in the world is throwing themselves at a 15 year old or however old he is.
I would hope for a Lavender Pony x Purple Dragon moment of passion first but it'll probably won't be one in this fic......
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Just trying to dream...
I am intrigued.
I look foward to future chapters!
Promising. Lets see how ot will continue
maybe dont descibe half your cast by bust size alone...its a tad creepy bud, were ment to be rootig for spike, not put off at him leerig at women and guessing cup size on site.
at least drop the exact numbers stuff. comes off as pure fap fuel and less creative excercise.
9038766
I am so with you there. That seem to be the biggest thing I am worried about in this story. So far Spike comes off as a real creep and a pervy little brat. I don't want to see this as a story where Spike does no wrong, is praised and beloved by everyone. I think having a very tight core group of girls show interest in him would work since let be honest why in the world would EVERY female in the school fall for a 15 year old. I can see like 2 or 3 of the mane six and maybe the CMC since they would be his age. But we need to see him as more than a little perv or some Gary Sue style character.
9038902
its gonna get crap....anytime they describe a cup size before a face or clothes, or do it in a block of text that seems soved in hamfistedly
i
9038902
i mean it sounds like
“guys, guys, i didnt look at her face but her chest was this big” then proceedes to hold up a real bra from somewhere. its..sorta creepy when your main can pinpoit a vauge part of human anatmey and basicly dose so with his COUSIN and a like 100 year old woman
9039256
Yea my biggest thing is just when we see the women not treated with respect but just objects to collect. It has always been something that bugged me when it is like one guy and 100 women and all of them love him when he has shown no real positive traits or distinct personality. And I just feel in this case it should be even more selective with the female(s) that he get involved with seeing how he is so much younger even if we don't get any intimacy till he is older. I mean he is in his mid teens grown women will be throwing themselves at him? It is early so I can only hope it happens, but as of now we haven't seen relationship build, I mean really build. Like we see them as friends and he get to know them. I am hoping really that with the three years that this story will have till any intimacy take place that time will be used to really build and work out some genuine relationship that make me truly become invested in the pairings.
9039435
Sorry for not responding earlier. I apologize for the descriptions regarding both Twilight and Cadance. I wasn't satisfied with them when I posted it, but I wasn't unhappy with them. I didn't realize that they were so bad though. I am grateful that you brought it to my attention though. I have edited their descriptions a bit.
Now regarding Spike's age, he is 17. The first few lines of the story description say that his 18th birthday was a little under a month away. Also I am not going to have every girl throw themselves at him.
Again, I do appreciate you bringing this to my attention.
9038766
9038902
It's a Spike harem fic, what do you expect? They're all the same.
The first thing that popped into my head when I saw the title was All Might XD
this is looking promising, i love all the school MLP spike harem stories that have some deep to them instead of just a full flage hentai, keep the good work
Huh.....that was actually a rather nice chapter. So i have no idea what you are going on about ;) keep up the good work :D
I don't think they know Spike is a dragon, I believe that's going to come into a bigger surprise. I wonder if their attitude would change once they know who he is. Now I can't wait for the next chapter.
I called blush+steamed-ears+nosebleed.
im starting to like this more and more
good something nice and long to read, finally. Cant wait for the next part
I am sorry, but I need to file a complaint against Ms. Harshwhinny. Her Math lessons are to strick, and I am too afraid of raising my hand that I may get punished with extra lessons. Also, I would like to know who made "Imaginary Numbers"!!
Ms. Harshwhinny needs to get smacked, talking to a teacher like that is unprofessional.
I may be looking at it incorrectly, but is there a lot of angst between Spike and Ms. Harshwhinney?? I mean, I get that she's a no-nosense math teacher, and has a priclkly demeanor at first glance. Also, is 'placeholder' really that offensive, or is this more of "we don't like Ms Harshwhinney, she's the antagonist and we will hater her because she doesn't like/love Spike at first light"... It doesn't really bother me to be honest...
9047754
I'm sorry if it seems that way as I did not intend for it to come out that way. It seemed fine in my mind when i wrote it. I meant for it so seem like she doesn't have feelings for him one way or the other, and just seems him as another teacher.
Also with the placeholder part, It's neither. It's more of something to get spike thinking and to have another reason to go and talk with Cadance. Which is happening next chapter. Besides the antagonist won't appear until at LEAST a couple more chapters.
9048002
You are completely fine. It just look like the the first interaction between Spike and Harshwhinney is not as sunshine/lollipops as the others, but again it's just first contact--there is time where they can get more familiar with each other, just like the other teachers and Spike. I bet that there are some things that Harshwhinney does that Spike can take a couple of tips from, teacher to teacher, or rather, experienced teacher to newbie.
And to be honest, it was surprising to see her call Spike a placeholder, but then again, there is still plenty for Spike to prove to her as well as to himself. It's not that she's prejudiced, but rather indifferent. It just jumped out at me, especially after that little bit of infospection that Spike did after Harsh said it.
"gamboge"... i kept reading that as "garbage"
Already loving this story can't wait for more
Funny idea with his fire I loved it!!!!!:)
Tree Hugger has that sexy hippie/succubus kind of vibe.
Im loving the idea behind this story. I cant help but wonder how everyone will react to Spike's big reveal(If this is planned)... other than Twilight and Cadance of course
There's a few misplaced letter hear and there, like in Harshwinny's name when Spike makes it to the lunch table, but pretty good. I'm really hoping you keep up this quality of writing when you start to get around to the more M stuff. A lot of stories that are "porn with plot," so to speak, get weaker when the saucy stuff is on the page.
I also wholeheartedly agree with Luna at the end. I'd have done the same thing.
its still a little too short for my liking but you are getting there ;) and i really like the story good job
The best way I could think of Tree Hugger's speech would be from Cheech and Chong. Those are the ones that usually come up more often when someone thinks of the Hippy culture.
I love what your doing I hope you make the chapters a little longer tho but other then that good work can't wait to see where you take this story next.
Nice
Spike, you lucky son of a b****!!!
Is it Cadance? Or Chrysalis?
364... You're 30 pages off.
yeah a nice update with a looooot to read :D keep the good work buddy
9115797
9115726
?
Both of your comments have me confused. Chrysalis isn't in this story, although I am curious as to what made you think that. And what do you mean I'm 30 pages off? That comment is baffling to me. If it's a reference to something then I apologize for not getting it.
9116791
That remark about the dean. Was that like Cadance to act towards Gabby?
9115882
Thank you. I didn't mean for this to go over 6k words, but umm... Yeah... Well, i will try to keep the words per chapter up, which I should be able to do since i'm now actually out of a lot of the introductions. There will be a few more next chapter, but those should be the last until Eris and the main antagonist are introduced.
9116796
Ahh, that. That is still Cadance. It will be explained in detail in the next chapter. but a rough summery is canterlot jr. ran to canterlot sr. and canterlot sr. made a big fuss about his son getting the piss rightfully beaten out of him, and then Cadance must punish Gabby in some way so the canterlot a-holes don't take matters into their own hands.
Damn Pinkie! Work fast!!
I wonder if Gilda would test Spike if he is being honest about helping Gabby and if Gilda will have the tough biker girl attitude.
9116830
And as for the 30 pages off
9116955
Damnit, now i can't read Mr. Road's lines without hearing Snape's voice XD, but now i do feel like an idiot for not getting the reference.
9117207
You think that's addicting? Even Rowling admitted that she can't read Snape's lines without hearing Alan Rickman's voice.
absolutely stunning work, can’t wait to see more, hopefully sooner than this one? haha!
9116801
keep them loong and sharp :D i love long stories and a long chapter means that the autor has a good, well written story ;)
I like this shipping of Spike and Gabby.
Nice.
it was worth the wait but now i have to wait even more for the next one! celestia bless you and damn you! :D