After an accident involving Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, a confused mare wakes up in an Equestria she doesn't recognize. Set on finding out what happened after the failed experiment, she plunges herself into the grim streets of Canterlot.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hell yeah! An update.
Will read after work
Oh my sweet baby Discord... we got magic! Although that begs the question, she has magic, memories, and mates so does that make her the element of magic (or friendship)? Following the logic Twilight gave when observing... uh... Twilight it may seem that way. Then the new question is... who has all the collectible gemstones? A fascinating story that leads itself into a great world. Now with sci-fi staple of a truly interesting dilemma of the question, what if you talked to yourself who wasn’t you? Keep up the work and I’ll cheer from the stands (a massive help, I know)!
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All questions will be answered in time, don't worry
And that cheering is the biggest help I could wish for, really. Every and each comment like this is a high-octane fuel for my resolve to finish this story and make it as good as I can.
Not done with this chapter yet, but just wanted to say before I forgot:
Holy shit my feels, they have been beat up
edit: Finished the chapter, only comment being that I'd be interested to see what would happen if she proclaimed that she was Twilight Sparkle and had returned from death... they did say her body was kept around in hopes it fixed itself.
Welp, seeing as no one's obliged yet, I guess I'll have to be the one to do this...
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Ah good, an actual upgrade from that rickety body.
Alright, i'm confused at a number of things. I'm not sure I understand the logic at play here for acquiring Twilight's new body. Legally you said if 'Twilight' wanted to come and go freely, she was able to do so, but taking her otherwise was considered something akin to a federal crime - that is, severe punishment since she is royal property. But the 'loophole' here is that some strangers can waltz in and pop their own memories into this model and leave once an equinoid from outside is inside and controlling her? That seems like really weird story logic. 13 says "Be ready for what happens next". It seems like he is assenting to the idea, and casually stating something weird is going to be the outcome of this. Police show up later, but it is reasoned that he did not call them because earlier if he wanted to he easily could've. So then, were the police summoned by this transference? Why did 13 not warn them directly that would happen instead of dancing around the information? He seemed overall curious and non-hostile. I might have missed something, but it seemed like the police just showed up for no reason.
Regardless of all this, I really don't understand how, even if it was true that had the real Twilight's memories, this equinoid would be alright with someone coming in and fiddling with this government-issued piece of tech no matter what they claimed.
Why does 13 not seem to really care this filly stole these memory cores/ crystals from the building? There is no confrontation about this, or the fact she committed the punishable-by-death act of cobbling together her own equinoid does not worry 13 who is under the authority of the royal whatever.
We are made to think Twilight has special tech in her, owing to the fact it is referred to early on as detectable by a unicorn compared to others, has a different technological baseline, and the one pony in the know refers to her as being 'princes-age' tech. It stands to reason that if this junkyard scrap mechanic knows this stuff, then it should be some kind of knowledge other ponies know, somewhere. Would there not be a number of ponies who would then understand the importance of such old tech that houses the memories of Twilight Sparkle herself? Taking this into account, why were these crystals just sitting inside or (if we are to believe Tin Flower's story) in the junk behind some near-abandoned public library that nobody cares about occupied by two robots with no guards? This seems like it would be considerably important or valuable if not for their tech than their historical significance. Even ignoring all this, surely a working ai core alone would be worth something?
Why didn't 13 ever try putting those gems into the twilight model, if they belonged to her and were government property? If not him, than any other technician?
I have been enjoying the story alright so far, but these questions are puzzling me. Perhaps I missed something obvious.
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As I can see, you have read the story up to chapter 17, so you should have some answers for your questions. However, I'll still try to clear up any misunderstandings.
I agree that logic here is not quite solid, but hear me out. Thirteen knew Tin Flower as he had witnessed her taking the gems, he also noted how the protagonist seemingly recongnised Twilight Sparkle. Those were not ordinary strangers in his eyes, so he let them do something he would otherwise prevent from happening.
Thirteen was curious as you noticed, but also cautious; after all, he wasn't sure if he really wanted Twilight Sparkle around.
See above; in addition, Thirteen has mixed feeling about Twilight Sparkle, nor the 'empty' version is particularly valuable. He wouldn't really care if something happened to it.
The explosion drew their attention; as it was noted earlier in the text, the police force has a more pronounced presence at the Inner City.
She is detectable due to the sheer power Twilight used to enchant the gems—consider it magic noise caused by overcharging; they are also solid instead of being composite, but that doesn't make them superior for the most part (but it is why the EMP didn't work on the protagonist). However, the application of those gems isn't quite usual—they are pretty much audio cassettes that by the merit of Twilight's ability and just luck acted as a hardware for an AI.
As for why Tin Flower had found them in a garbage bin—that is answered in Chapter 17.
And by the merit of being the Crown's property, the library falls under the Royal Guard's protection and nobody would want to mess with them.
As it was stated above, they are meant to be boring diaries, nothing more. Tin Flower used them as hardware because she didn't know better and that miraculously worked.
Though I hope my explanations sufficed, I am ready to admit that, if put under scrutiny, this chapter harbours more than a single oversight in terms of logic or common sense.
I hate to use it as my only means of defense, but this is my first story and I am not a professional writer—I tried my best and I'm sorry if that wasn't enough.
Huge thank you for the feedback; I'll make sure it isn't wasted.