A Gift of Life Without Friendship

by Waxworks

Epilogue: Hearthswarming

Hearthswarming eve was here, and Tempest Shadow was nervous. Her new… friend, Twilight Sparkle, had decided that the princesses simply must gather together for Hearthswarming and share stories and catch up with each other. What Twilight had failed to mention was that Tempest herself was going to be invited. She couldn’t refuse an invitation from a princess! What if it was seen as rude? What if she offended someone, er… somepony important and she got exiled because of a misunderstanding?

She felt awkward, sitting at the table with all the princesses of Equestria around her, but she did what she had done with the Storm King: She sat, silent, and resolved not to respond to anything unless it was a direct order.

It worked, for the most part. Twilight had so much to say to all the other princesses that there was barely any time for any of the others to talk. She babbled on about all of the friendship lessons she had given Starlight Glimmer and Tempest herself, and talked about the myriad problems discovered around Equestria that she and her friends had managed to solve. The fact that problems could be solved by friendship was odd to Tempest, but she hadn’t spent much time in Equestria, so the new things were interesting.

When Luna finally had a chance to speak, she wanted to discuss the moon and the various night activities some of the ponies had been getting up to now that she had returned. She was delighted to find that ponies stayed up late for activities that weren’t always bad. Thievery and murder had been the name of the game one thousand years ago, but with the new lights and the safety of so many cities, it would seem that revelry, drinking, and other… amorous activities usually took place under the night sky. She found it queer, but refreshing.

Celestia, for her part, was suspiciously silent, Tempest noticed. Being the commander of an entire army had honed her abilities to a razor point, and just because she had friends now didn’t mean she had stopped being so observant. Celestia was hiding something. She was old, and her talent for hiding it was honed by itself, but the way her eyes kept flicking to look at Tempest told the unicorn that something was wrong. She was discomfited by her presence.

Luna had done the same, at first, as well as the butler whose name Tempest had never gotten. All three had given her strange looks. She had passed it off as them being uncomfortable around the pony who had previously turned them to stone, but Tempest had already apologized and been forgiven for it. She saw no further reason to act like she had to do more to apologize. Still, she couldn’t help but feel like they harbored some sort of grudge for what she had done.

Luna finished talking about all that she wanted to share and conversation lapsed for a moment. Twilight looked at Tempest next to her and tilted her head toward the assembled princesses, but Tempest had resolved herself to only respond to an order. Speaking wasn’t her place at an assemblage of princesses. Twilight nodded again, but Cadance came to the rescue with talk of love in the Crystal Empire.

“We’re experiencing new highs in love-levels in the Crystal Empire. Statistics show that the crystal heart is outputting unforeseen levels of crystal magic, and the resulting love-force–”

Tempest tuned out the droning voice of the princess of love and poked at her food. She looked over at Celestia to see the older Alicorn once again looking at her. Her eyes were large and curious, and Tempest looked away under the intense gaze, staring down at her half-eaten dinner.

By the time the dinner had ended, Celestia and Tempest were the two who hadn’t spoken. Tempest had said nothing, while Celestia had only offered single-word responses to some of the questions and statements the other alicorns had brought up. As the night wore on, she was looking at Tempest more and more, and at one point Tempest was sure the alicorn had sighed once or twice.

As the dinner closed, Luna and Twilight went off, chatting about star charts and the position and phases of the moon, while Cadance had to go answer a magical call from her husband about their daughter. That left Celestia and Tempest alone at the table next to each other. Twilight had seen fit to position the former commander directly next to the princess of the sun, which compounded how uncomfortable the entire situation was. Celestia sipped at her tea and glanced at Tempest.

“You’ve been quiet all evening, Commander Tempest,” Celestia said, breaking the silence.

Despite her promise to remain silent, Tempest responded. “I’m… a little uncomfortable.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“I don’t think I belong here after what I did.”

“You did it, yes, but we’ve all forgiven you. You helped undo it, and protect all of us, after all.”

“I had to.”

“Hmm?”

“I had to protect you.”

“Protect… Canterlot?” Celestia’s question was hesitant, as if she was unsure.

Tempest hesitated, unsure of her answer. “No, I had to protect…” Tempest struggled with the answer, as though she knew what it was but couldn’t bring herself to say it because it didn’t quite make sense. Finally, it slipped from her lips unbidden, escaping like a prisoner from a long confinement. “…you.” She looked up at Celestia.

“You mean the princesses.” It was a statement, not a question.

Tempest shook her head. “No, just you, Celestia.”

“Just me?”

“Just you.”

Celestia took a long sip of her tea. She seemed to be thinking about something, weighing options in her mind as her eyes flitted about the room, looking at anything but Tempest. They sat in silence again until Celestia spoke once more. “Why do you think that is?”

Tempest breathed in and held it for a moment, then exhaled, her body slumping in her chair. “It felt like there was a voice in my head demanding it. I mean, I’ve heard of you, Celestia. Everbody… er, everypony has. When I was a filly I dreamed of visiting Canterlot and seeing the castle. The princess who controlled the sun and moon. The princess who was more important than anypony else.”

“So, you wanted to protect the ponies who can’t protect themselves.” Again, it wasn’t a question.

“By making sure you were okay.”

Celestia lifted her head in acknowledgement of the statement, and once more went back to her tea. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise and she put the teacup down on the table. Tempest could see that it was empty. The princess was unsure of herself.

Tempest looked down at her half-eaten food, thoughts racing. “Why was the princess so confused around me?” She thought. She was the princess of the sun. She had been managing the day and night by herself for one thousand years! She was an alicorn princess! She had beaten Nightmare Moon by her… herself?

Tempest stopped. Celestia had been helped, right? By the elements of harmony. The magic of harmony that governed all of Equestria had been the power that helped her beat Nightmare Moon and ensure Equestria was safe and protected for the past one thousand years.

But no, that hadn’t been enough. There had been somepony else there. She was sure of it. But all of the history books she had read and all that she had heard had said Nightmare Moon was beaten immediately by Celestia. But Tempest was positive that wasn’t the case. But why was she so positive about that?

“What are you thinking about, Tempest?”

Tempest gave a weak laugh. “Oh, nothing, really. About history, I guess.”

“Oh? What about it?”

“I sometimes misremember what I’ve read in history books. Thinking about things in history that never happened. It’s kind of silly. A little frustrating, too. It comes and it goes.”

“What kind of things?” Celestia leaned forward in her seat.

“I don’t know where I first read or heard any of these things, but there’s a lot of different points in history that seem wrong to me, and I’m not sure why.”

“Such as?”

“Well, the big one, that always seems to come back, is that there was another pony that helped stop Nightmare Moon.”

“Another pony? You mean like Starswirl the Bearded?”

“No, I know he wasn’t there. He was gone before that happened. Some unnamed pony that helped during the fight right before you banished Nightmare Moon to the moon.”

“There’s no record of it. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know.” Tempest shrugged. “Like I said, it doesn’t make… sense.”

Celestia was looking at Tempest. Her lavender eyes seeming to stare deep into Tempest’s own.

Tempest swayed for a moment as she remembered something. She remembered Nightmare Moon, staring down at her, and she remembered being in pain. She could see Celestia far away, crumpled in a broken heap, and then there was a flash of light, and nothing.

“I’m… sorry,” Tempest muttered.

Celestia finally blinked. “Sorry for what?”

“I couldn’t…” What hadn’t she been able to do? “I couldn’t… fly.”

Celestia’s eyes widened, and she stood up from her chair. Her legs pushed the chair back and the elegant seat tilted, falling forgotten to the floor with a crash. Celestia paid it no mind and walked with haste toward the grand double doors at one end of the dining hall.

“I’m sorry. This was a mistake. I must go.”

Tempest’s breathing got heavy. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Why had she said that? She didn’t have wings! She barely even had a horn! Her vision darkened as she watched Celestia leaving her behind.

“Wait…” she croaked. Her chest felt tight, and she stumbled out of her chair, trying to chase after that rainbow mane as it left her again.

Celestia didn’t slow, and didn’t look back, almost trotting toward the door. Tempest wobbled on her hooves as memories came rushing back to her. Memories of different lives, different ponies, different creatures, and even different friends over one thousand years of life.

She remembered the first few years after the battle with Nightmare Moon.

She remembered scraping at her back when she had first awoken after the fight. She was injured, but her body was too sturdy to die. She had spent time leaping into the air, exhausting herself trying to fly, and scratching her hooves across her back, gouging at the place where her wings should have been. She had used her violent magic with her broken horn, skin bursting into boils and blisters as she tried to force wings to come out.

She wasn’t a unicorn. She should be a pegasus. She knew and remembered every single nuance and detail of flight. She knew what it felt like to soar through the air, though she had never done it before. She knew, with certainty, what it felt like to kick a cloud and dance through rain in the sky.

“Mother… please,” Tempest pleaded.

The hooves ahead of her stopped at the door. Celestia turned back to look, her face a mixture of fear and anger, with only the barest hint of concern.

“Why can’t I fly?”

Tempest remembered other lives and other places. Some she had remembered the battle with Nightmare Moon. Some she spent raving in the wilderness, leaping from cliffs and dashing her immortal body against the rocks in a vain attempt to fly or die. Some she was a caring friend to creatures of all types, and others still she was a lunatic, dangerous and violent on the outskirts of villages, spoken of in hushed whispers, praying she would go away.

Celestia approached her where she stood, unsteady and fearful of the goddess to whom she owed her life. Celestia lifted her head with her magic and looked her in the eyes, staring down at the confused creature she had created.

“I finally remember everything. Whenever this happens I forget. I’ve forgotten everything so many times. Please, mother. Help me. Kill me. Stop this.”

“You… were never meant to fly. You were to be a weapon, and nothing else. I had thought you dead,” Celestia said.

“I can’t take this. I’ve lived so long without the ability to live. I’ve disappeared from friends and even a family once because I can’t handle each life! I’ve done damage to ponies I cared for because my mind fails me! What do I do?” Tempest was anguished, but despite her clear sadness, no tears fell down her face.

“There is nothing I can do. I can end your life, but is death truly what you seek?”

“Mother—" Celestia winced at the word “—I forget everything and restart living every decade or so. Sometimes I am a good pony, others I am a monster. I have died too many times to count. I don’t know when it will happen again, and I don’t know what I will become. Please, end this! I beg you!”

Celestia closed her eyes and breathed deep. She looked around at the doors the other princesses had left by. She and Tempest were alone, and there was nopony nearby to see anything. She couldn’t kill Tempest here, and it would be hard to change her memories, but she had avoided responsibility for her actions for over a thousand years. She nodded. Slow and deliberate.

“Come, daughter. Give me a hug while you still remember what we share.”

Tempest stood up and stepped forward, legs shaking. She embraced her mother as tightly as she could, eliciting a small squeak from the larger pony. Celestia lowered her head down and across Tempest’s back, sighing at the embrace.

Celestia’s horn lit up, and in the middle of the hug, Tempest froze, enveloped in magic.

Memories passed through Tempest, and she felt all of them, almost at once. She felt herself dying, and the memory of her wings was burned from her. She wanted to scream, but her mouth was frozen shut. Each feather from her nonexistent wings was a sharp, stabbing pain as they each disappeared, until there was nothing left but the body she had.

She remembered the battle between Nightmare Moon and Celestia and her own contribution. She remembered failing, and her horn shattering under the onslaught from the dangerous monarch as she and Celestia fought to take it back.

She relived each one of her many lifetimes, good and bad, where she was a saint and a sinner, savior and oppressor, friend, family, and foe. Each one was burned from her mind, and the pain from each intensified the next. A single tear managed to come out of her eyes, sliding down her cheek as she realized that she would never remember any of these ever again. She struggled as she forgot more and more, but Celestia held her firm, hugging her tight as she stripped away at Tempest’s thoughts and feelings from her past.

Finally, Celestia let go and pulled back, looking down at her daughter. Her own cheeks were wet with tears, and she sniffled the slightest sniffle before wiping her cheeks with a wing.

“How do you feel?”

The mare looked up at her in confusion, then noticed the single tear on her own cheek. She wiped it away and looked back at the princess of the sun. “I feel much better. Thank you for your forgiveness. I know conquering your kingdom is… really bad, but thank you. It means a lot to me that you can do that. You truly are a great leader, princess.”

Celestia nodded. “You are welcome. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I should get some rest. I only have so many hours before the sun must rise again.”

“Of course, princess. I will go find Luna and Twilight.”

“You have yourself a good night, Tempest.”

Fizzlepop Berrytwist looked back at the princess of the sun and frowned. “Please, your majesty. Call me Fizzlepop. And you have a Happy Hearthswarming!”

Celestia just nodded and turned away. She could hear the hoofsteps traveling away from her toward the other door Luna and Twilight had used. The sound of them was upbeat and almost cheerful, free of worry and care, and most importantly: free of fear.

Celestia walked through the halls of the castle toward her bed, thinking as little as possible, just letting her hooves carry her. When she lay down in her bed, her tears came again, unbidden and unwanted.

“When you have lived enough, I will find you, and I will let you finally pass, mourned by family and friends. I promise. Happy Hearthswarming, my child,” Celestia sobbed.

The End.

Comments

[DeKar]

Even Tempest cannot escape Momlestia, it seems.

[Ice Star]

There’s a tag for Tempest if you wanted to add it now.