• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 23rd, 2015

EnigmaShade


T

Miss Fluttershy is old and feeble, but so full of memories. All of her friends have moved on to whatever lies beyond life, and all she has is their memories. She's not sure when her own time will come, but she likes to revel in the memories of old times. Today she wants to stroll the small town of Ponyville with her caretaker to see what it was and what it has become.
"Life seems to go by very slowly, Cordis, but when you look back, you will wonder why it went by so fast."

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

A sad story but a paradoxically triumphant one. It was hardly a 'happily ever after' (because that doesn't really happen, does it?) but it was the memories of lives lived well and of very real emotions and frailties Even heroes cannot defeat time, sickness and a broken heart. It would be Fluttershy of all of them who would understand that best.

A good bit of writing!

Very touching!

But Fluttershy...:fluttercry:

Ze feelz. Zey tug at my heart...:fluttershysad: Well, not too strongly. :derpytongue2:

I feel like this was a bit repetitive at times. The word "reveled" appeared a ton. I also didn't like the paragraph spacing, but that's just me being a nitpick.

My major gripe with this story is the HUGE exposition with Fluttershy's recounting at the end. :twilightangry2: Not the best way to tell something. I believe that you had so much to say, but the ending was coming too fast, so you overloaded the back end. (Or maybe you just wanted to get the thing over with. I had that feeling writing my own fic.) Either way, it leads to something that people like me will skim over out of boredom. Either lengthen the story to space out the huge info-dump, or (:pinkiesad2:) cut stuff out.

But the story was poignant, and the memories you weave with the other Elements have a lasting effect on my heart. *Le thumbs up*

1145308 To be honest, this was a story I started planning out a few months ago and just dropped. I picked it up last week and wrote out what I remembered and wrote down and wrote the thing in one night. I also noticed my repetitive usage of some words and I also felt the ending was rushed, but I wasn't sure how to slow it down. This is definitely not my best fic, but I'm proud of the fact that it has an effect on my readers.
Thank you very much for the constructive criticism and being mature about it:twilightsmile:. I would really like to revisit this idea in the future and rewrite it taking into account your and other reader's reviews.

Thank you again :pinkiehappy:

The title fits the feels this gives perfectly

Happy with reminiscence and memories, and sad with the death of everyone we all know and love :fluttercry:

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