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The Teleporting Fat Guy's New Invention508 words
Welcome to Equestria523 words
Barbershop Pole Returns622 words
Pony Hard1,026 words
A Song from the Heart800 words
I'm Your Biggest Fan665 words
The Condition556 words
Title Unrelated567 words
Fluttercult1,212 words
The Legacy Ends363 words
The Fabulous Meta Chapter221 words
Boxman in Equestria830 words
Thanks for the Memories718 words
Food Battle 2012: Equestria1,523 words
Author's Note: Why This Will Never Have a Sequel70 words

A Song from the Heart

Well guys, this one has that perverted feel that Smosh has to many of their videos. I love this song, and couldn't resist. Hope you guys don't hate me.
And since it isn't detailed description, and just making fun of a song, I don't think this warrants mature or clopfic status.

Anthony ran away as fast as he could from Big Mac, who seemed intent on making him his buttbuddy.

"God damn it, I get stuck with the only gay pony in Equestria, I'm fairly sure," Anthony said, hiding under the couch.

Suddenly, a huge stage unfurled, and the lights went out.

Ian and the Teleporting Fat Pony walked into the stage as lights illuminated it one by one.

"Lay down that one beat, Vinyl!" Ian shouted, and Vinyl Scratch, somehow managed to understand which beat Ian had meant and she put a very familiar beat down.

"Sometimes… something beautiful happens in this world…" Ian started.

"Oh God, is he going to…" Anthony stared in horror at the stage, realizing what had just happened.

"You just don't know how to express yourself… so you just gotta sing…"

"NO!" Anthony shouted, as he ran up top the stage.

"I just had sex… And it felt so good!" Ian sang at the top of his lungs as he pumped his hooves.

"NOOOO!" Anthony was running in slow motion as he shoved ponies out of the way in a mad dash to get to the stage.

"A mare let me put my cannon penis inside of her!"

Anthony was sobbing as he flew into the air, determined to reach Ian and stop this horror.

"I just had seeeeex and I'll never go back to those non-sex having ways of the past…"

Anthony flew directly into the wall, and Ian continued.

"Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great! It felt so good when I did it with my cannon penis! A mare let me do it, it literally just happened! Having sex can make a nice stallion out of the meanest!"

The Teleporting Fat Pony picked up the mike now.

"You'll never guess what I just did, I had sex. And If I could describe the feeling, it was the best! When I had sex, man, my cannon penis felt great! And I called my parents right after I was done."

Anthony thought about that last part. "Wait, didn't your parents die in that-"

Ian picked up the mike, drowning out Anthony's observation.

"Oh hey, didn't see you there, guess what I just did? Had sex, rubbed her horn, f**ked her and the rest!"

"Sure nice of you to let her do that thing!" The Teleporting Fat Pony commentated.

"Nice of any mare ever. NOW SING!"

In unison, the two started to sing.

"I JUST HAD SEEEEEX… AND IT FELT SOOOO GOOOOD! A MARE LET ME PUT MY CANNON PENIS INSIDE OF HEEEERRRRR!!!! I wanna tell the world!"

Twilight Sparkle was facehoofing in the background while Applebloom sobbed and was being hugged by her sister. "It's ok, he won' hurtcha again…"

The singing started again.

"To be honest, I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it, doesn't even really make sense, but man, screw it. I ain't one to argue with a good thing. She could even be my wife!"

"That good?"

"Best thirty seconds of my life!"

"I'm humbled by a mare's ability to do it, because honestly I'd have sex with a pile of manure. That said, a nice soft clean-smelling mare is better."

"She even let me do it in my chain and my turtleneck sweater!"

Ian and the Teleporting Fat pony were once again singing at the same time.

"So this one is dedicated to them mares, who let us flop around on top of them! If you're short or tall, near or far, we all want to thank you for letting us f**k you!"

Ian was singing solo now, with the Teleporting Fat Pony interjecting at choice times.

"She kept looking at the clock."

"Doesn't matter, had sex!"

"She put a bag on my head!"

"Doesn't matter had sex!"

"But I cried the whole time!"

"Doesn't matter had sex!"

"I think I may have broken my balls!"

"Still counts!"

The whole crowd was in awe.

"I HAD SEEEEEX! AND MY DREAMS CAME TRUE! SO IF YOU HAD SEX IN THE LAST THIRTY MINUTES THEN THAT QUALIFIES YOU TO SING ALONG!"

Nopony sang along. Anthony cried as he held a gun up to his head.

"I just had sex! And it felt so good! A mare let me put my cannon penis inside of her! I just had sex! And I'll never go back to those non-sex having ways of the past!"

Twilight walked up to the stage and punched Ian in the face.

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