Pony Hard
“Ian, you can’t go around beating the Barbershop Pole with small foals. Somepony’s bound to complain.”
“I’m not sure you understand the magnitude of this situation. HE SLEPT WITH MY FUTURE WIFE!”
“But if she’s your future wife, how do you know she’s not a total bitch, and her cheating on you was the perfect excuse to leave her?”
Ian tried to respond, but Pinkie’s logic dumbfounded him.
“Well damn. Nice one!”
Pinkie Pie jumped up on the table and said triumphantly “PINKIE THE MASTER OF COMEBACKS!”
Ian starred with pure loathing at the pink pony. “THAT’S MAH LINE...”
Anthony returned with an alligator attached to his face.
“Um, can somepony help me? I think it’s eating my soul.”
Pinkie Pie coaxed the alligator off of the pegasus’s face. “Sorry. Gummy was just excited to see you! OOH! That reminds me! We have to throw a party! Lyra set up screenings of you guys that everpony watched every friday, so everypony will by dying to meet you guys! OOH! This is going to be great!”
“OH MY GOD I’M GONNA GO TO ONE OF PINKIE PIE’S PARTIES!” Anthony squealed in delight.
“Ok, don’t jizz yourself,” Ian said as he rolled his eyes.
“This is going to be awesome! I better get to planning it! You guys go over and get Celestia! She loves your show!”
Anthony fainted again.
Pinkie Pie poked his face. “Does he do that often?”
“Unfortunately.” Ian kicked Anthony in the wing.
“Ian, why don’t you like Equestria?” Pinkie Pie gave Ian a hard look.
“I’m just not into ponies like Anthony is, and besides…” Ian blushed and looked to the side.
“Besides what?”
“Um… I really want to rub Twilight Sparkle’s horn.” Pinkie Pie gave Ian a blank stare.
“Um, anyway, you should probably go to Princess Celestia now…”
“Yeah…”
Ian dragged Anthony over to the train as they set out for Canterlot. Once reaching the royal Palace, Anthony woke up again.
“OH MY GOD I’M GONNA MEET PRINCESS CELESTIA!”
Ian lost his patients. “SHUT THE F-” A barrel dropped from the sky and hit Ian on the head.
“Sorry!” Derpy yelled down to them as she flew overhead carrying many barrels behind her.
“Man, I’m glad we’re not Pewdiepie, or else that would have been terrifying.” It was Anthony’s turn to drag his friend around.
Entering the palace, Anthony trekked with the unconscious Ian to the throne room. There, Princess Celestia was drinking tea, which she promptly spit out when she saw the two entering.
“Luna? Get out here now!”
Luna’s voice resounded from somewhere in the back of the castle.
“Not now, I just got a Bandos god sword, do you know how long it took me to get that from God Wars Dungeon? General Grandos is not a very easy boss monster, Tia, not at all-”
“Smosh is here!”
The two youtube celebrities heard several doors banging and Luna flew at full speed into the throne room.
“OH MY GOSH! SMOSH!”
Luna surveyed them.
“Oh course, it would have been better if it were Pewdiepie, Antvenom, Regicidal1, Tobuscus, Nova, Cavemanfilms, CaptainSparklz, Steve and Larson from Top Ten FTW, or Ross Scott from Freeman’s Mind, but you guys are good too!”
“Um, thanks?” Anthony said feeling slightly offended.
“Wh- ah? Where are we?” Ian said, rubbing his head.
“Anyway, why have you graced our presence?” Luna asked, still looking them over. Anthony smiled and answered.
“Pinkie Pie is throwing a party in our honor, and she thought you guys might want to come!”
“Of course we’ll come!” Celestia stood up excitedly.
“Wow, you really like us, don’t you?” Anthony grinned.
“I do, you guys are extremely hilarious, and you’re pretty much the only thing that isn’t game-related that Luna will watch.” Suddenly, a guard ran up, huffing and puffing.
“Pr-princess Celestia! We have had reports one of the elements of harmony beating the living crap outa a pony who reportedly had sexual relations with her sister. What should we do?”
Celestia waved him away. “Let him have his fun for now I’ll send him to the moon later.” The guard saluted and trotted off.
“Let us go to the party now!” Luna and Celestia said in unison, then brohoofed and trotted out, Ian and Anthony walking behind them.
At the party, the instant the two newly ponified humans entered, they were mobbed by thusand different ponies.
“OH MY GOD, IAN IS SO CUTE AS A UNICORN!” shrieked Carrot Top.
“Let me feel your wings, Anthony!” Colgate squealed, grabbing Anthony’s flying appendages, and rubbing them. Anthony fell to the ground, quaking in pleasure.
“I loved ‘Firetruck!’” Cheerilee said, drooling over Ian.
Anthony soaked up the attention, while Ian slipped off to go and try and find Twilight Sparkle.
“I swear, I will rub your horn! I must get the mystical unicorn mayonnaise my father told me of!” Ian determinedly looked around, then proclaimed “I WILL NOT STOP SEARCHING FOR HER UNTIL I FIND HER, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!”
“Who are you talking too?” Twilight Sparkle, who was standing right there asked as she turned around.
“Well, that was fast,” Ian said, surprised.
“Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle!” Twilight Sparkle held up her hoof. Ian shook it while he planned out his next move in his mind very carefully. He knew he was going to have to be very subtle if her were going to pull this off.
“Hey, can I rub your horn?”
Twilight looked taken aback by this question. Ian smiled and hoped she wouldn’t kill him.
“Um, ok… but let’s take this somewhere more private…” Twilight grabbed Ian’s hoof and dragged him away into the bedroom.
Anthony, who was watching this, seethed in envy. “He doesn’t even like the show! He’s just using her for her horn! To get back at him, I’m gonna have sex with the first pony I see!” Anthony turned around and stared straight at Big Macintosh.”
“God damn it!”
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I lol'd at Luna playing Runescape. xD
Anthony should be thankful though.
eeeyup
927846 Lol, runescape is the best. But damn, the Bandos Godsword is impossible to get.
927863 i have all god-swords you jelly?
927857 data.whicdn.com/images/14321735/Smosh-smosh-ian-hecox-and-anthony-padilla-24319732-500-386_large.jpg
Anthony and Big Mac. [presses something.]Well that was easy!
927866 I have full bronze you jelly?
927877 puttingonthefoil.com/wpfiles/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/great_scott_400.png
927863 hilarious chapter, man, but isn't Freeman's mind done by Ross Scott?
927891 God damn you're right. Who did I put? If it was Ian rielly, then I mistook it for Shephards mind. I watched all of those, even Barney's mind.
927911 If we find an animator, that would be awesome!
BARRELS!!!!!!
927940 EEyup!
IM DIEING AND I NEEDSMOAR!!
928008 Ok, if you insist..
927901 you wrote Ian ross. You got it half right
928014
NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So awesome! Great story! I was laughing the whole way through.
motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0903/moar-spongebob-mr-krabs-moar-demotivational-poster-1237747827.jpg
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw302_1298830294413.png
This just in!
winebarrel.com/images/barrel.gif
928014
U should do a pewdiepie goes to Equestria after the smosh one Luna would freak and ever pony else
Also you deserve a BROFIST!!
Ps OH No Derpy works with the BARRELS!!!
MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Anthony trying to seduce Big Mac
.....Also BARRELS!!!!!!
928042 Oh well. Fixed anyway.
928055 Well glad you liked it!
928096 Ok, more will come soon!
928111 Likewise, more will come soon!
928118 Yay! Barrels!
928191 Oh that evil Derpy.
Best... Fanfic... Ever. Nuff Said
928329 Challenge accepted!
928480 Anthmac is best shipping.
928822 Why thank you!
BARRELS!!!!!!!!! And he did what to Applebloom
928880 Lol if you'll remember in chapter 3...
This definitely has the Smosh feel to the absurdist comedy. The short nature of each of these chapters adds to the feel as well. Keep writing ^.^
928923 WOW YOU REPLY FAST
and oh yea 
928936 Well you're in luck, chapter 5 is almost up!
Anthony+Big Mac=
/)*(\ Pewdiepie FTW!!!! I DON'T TRUST YOU!!!
I somehow feel like Anthony would freak out a little more if he found an alligator attached to him. Like a lot more screaming and running around, perhaps rolling around on the floor. Especially if it wanted his soul. Oh wait, Happy Cow already has that.
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LMAO!
I have to 'like' this story, after reading the Runescape reference. I get the joke too, about the General bein' a "hard" boss.
Happy 200 million non-bots. Yup. No bots whatsoever. And OHHHHHH hope you enjoy Runescape's new Pegasus teleport.
So awesommm
I think murder is legal in Texas...
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/22140431.jpg
Also, BARRELS!
Runescape....i have played it for over 9 years..had 300m, severall d claws, full bandos, 250k super def pots ( when they where worth 3k each, armadyl and much more.
Then the i got sick...when i came back all i had was worth shit.......... ....100m left
927874
I have heard of all those people except for yogscast
why dont you make the ponies like Yogscast
nah. I send him to the moon later....
SOO AWESOME!
FAIL
Steve and Larson are loved by ponies, FUCK YEAH!
OH MAH GAWD THIS IS HILARIOUS
also
true ttrue
Freemans Mind!? YES NOW WHAT ABOUT SHEPHARD AND FELIX AND BARNEY!?!?
What were you smokeing when you wrote this and will you share?