If Smosh Were Ponies

by Regidar

Thanks for the Memories

Anthony's Magic Mare Molesting Memoir
Twilight Sparkle licked the side of Anthony's face. Anthony bobbed his equine head up and down while Trixie massaged his hooves.

"Oh yeah... this is good..." Anthony licked his lips as Pinkie Pie spread whipped-

Ian grabbed the pen and paper away from Anthony. "Hey, I was writing with that!"

"Dude, you can't call that 'writing.'"

"What was wrong with it?"

Ian facehoofed. "What do you mean, what was wrong with it? EVERYTHING! Here, let me try it..."

Ian's Super Sexy Stallion Story
Big Macintosh spread butter all up and down Ian's stomach, while Soarin stroked his hair. Slowly, he-

"Dude," Anthony said, stopping Ian's writing. "That's kinda gay."

"What? No it's not!"

"It's totally gay!"

"Oh, so having a guy spread butter on your stomach while another guy strokes your hair is gay now, huh?"

"YES!"

Ian rolled his eyes. "Obama's America..."

The Teleporting Fat Pony waddled over. "Don't worry guys, I got this one."

The Teleporting Fat Pony's Fantastic Filly Fondling Foray
Scootaloo rubbed soap all over her body, while Applebloom and Sweetie Belle covered themselves in ice cream. All three of the filly's began to make out while the incredibly handsome Teleporting Muscular Sexy Pony licked Scootaloo's back. Then-

"What?" The Teleporting Fat Pony asked as he stared at the disgusted looks upon his two friend's faces.

"Dude... that's f**ked up..."

"Yeah. Get some help... like, now."

"Hey, don't tell me how to live my life! For all you know, they could have liked it!"

"They were crying."

"Those were happy tears!"

"Why was Sweetie Belle screaming 'kill me' then?"

The Teleporting Fat Pony did not have a response to this. Ian sighed. "Look, we're all going to die, anyway, so-"

"Not so fast..." Looking up into the sky, they saw Princess Celestia descend down upon upon the Youtube stars. Taking the pen and paper, she went on to re-write everything that happened it Equestrian history, ever.

"Woah..." Anthony said, staring at the glorious spectacle. "Nice flanks." Princess Celestia bucked him in the face.

"You all have done enough damage to my kingdom. You were fun for a while, but now you must go."

"But I get to stay, right?" The Teleporting Fat Pony put on his most convincing smile. Princess Celestia incinerated him with a beam of light. "Now, goodbye, Ian and Anthony. You were hilarious. Also, if I don't see a video next Friday, I'll kill you, ok?"

"So much for 'benevolent ruler.'" Ian muttered as he rolled his eyes.

"I heard that." Ian squeaked as him and Anthony were transported back to Earth.

Looking around at their mundane house, both of the newly restored humans sighed. They missed Equestria already...

"I wish there was a way we could go back..." Ian said, a tear leaking from his eye.

"Well, the Teleporting Fat Guy gave us the mechanism schematics! With enough hard work and determination, we could-"

"Nah, let's just get drunk and cry ourselves to sleep."

Anthony rolled his eyes. "We do that every saturday."

TO SEE BLOOPERS AND DELETED SCENES, GO TO SMOSH.COM!

THANKS FOR SUBSCRIBING! AND IF YOU DON'T, I'll cry.

Seriously.

Watch me.

***

Elijah typed the last words into his computer.

"Well, it's over. There goes my only chance at a featured story." Then, turning to look at you guys, he said "Unless, you were to read my other stories, and get them featured... that could work very-"

"Elijah! Why are you talking to the wall?"

"Shut up, mom!"

"Also, didn't you die?"

Elijah sighed, and shut his computer off. Time to experience the real world.

This story is dedicated to Elijah Goldberg, who died by getting hit by a car. If only he had stayed inside...

Author's Note: Guys, I had a great time writing this story! For those of you who stuck with me until the very end, thank you all so much. I did get featured once on this story, but please, could you guys do it again? I know this was my one chance, so I don't want it to be wasted. Thanks so much.

Also, penis.

IF YOU LIKED "IF SMOSH WERE PONIES", THEN YOU'LL LOVE:

Bordermares
Rarity's Hairbrush
Pewdiepie in Equestria
This thing
The Tragic Tragedy
and
The Toaster of the Gods

Enjoy, everypony!

Comments

[mageli7]

Nice story and such a great ending, when you wrote penis it was just so touching

Great story! I'll be sure to read your other fics!

[Regidar]

1136523 Hopefully not the kind of touching I'm imagining right now...

But thanks! You will not be disappointed!

[mageli7]

1136552

DAMN YOU PERVERTED MIND, NOT THAT WAYYYY!

Hahaha, you're fics are really funny though

[Regidar]

1136567 Aw, thanks!

[mageli7]

1136598

No problem my friend, I suppose I must wath you now, it's required since you're so funny

[Regidar]

1136603 OH BOY!

[mageli7]

1136609

In other words you now have a stalker

[Regidar]

1136620img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com/61abc71d46732ee81f51d053c7db1080/http://i728.photobucket.com/albums/ww283/Adamantyx/14381-fluttershy-yay.jpg

[KartalTheWriter]

I'm sad it's over, but there will be more stories from you, right? Also, why didn't Celestia just send Teleporting Fat Pony to the moon? Did she just really not like him or something?

You amuse me. Make me amused again.

[mageli7]

1136628

FUNNNN, Now if you'll excuse me I need to go creep- I meannn, write!

[Regidar]

1136633 The Teleporting Fat Guy molested Applebloom, and theoretically Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle as well. Celestia has a no molestation policy unless she's the one molestering them.

I'll do my best!

[Dark Lightning]

Ahem, dat ending and "Dat Anthonys story"

[Regidar]

1136855 Oh, Anthony's story. So sexy.

Teleporting Fat Pony's story was better, though.

[Dark Lightning]

1136874: Foalcon, yeahhhhh no.
Now to read Pewdewpie in Equestria

[Some Kinda Brony]

It... It's over? This is the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!

[JurassicPony]

I think you missed a childhood obesity joke opportunity...

Again, though, one of your best stories and I can't wait for more Pewdiepie.

[Regidar]

1137419 I wouldn't have been as funny the second time around.

1137282 Never fear! I'm sure you'll learn to love one of the stories I linked at the bottom.

[JurassicPony]

1137795

Tell that to every single Smosh video where one of them dies...

[Regidar]

1137804 True.

[tragicCaligula]

I want you to watch Tobuscus and then write a story.
It'll be called: "Steven! I have hooves!" It will be wonderful.

[YorkBrony]

Hey. Hey. HEY.

...vagina lol.

[Krenshaw]

I wouldn't mind seeing Ian's writing actually.

[Regidar]

1139970

[Krenshaw]

1140022 Jk dude.

[Regidar]

1140098 Good, I was beginning to wonder...

[Quad Ruple]

It was nice while it lasted.

[The Rarispy]

Hah, I loved this story. So many awesome scenes and references.

I was kind of hoping to see maybe a Food Battle with Ian, Anthony, and Pinkie or something, though.

[Regidar]

1151190 Perhaps that shall be a hidden update chapter...

[LittleBoyBlue]

Oh shit. Story is over.
Ha. Telporting Fat Guy is a molester.
Ian is gay.
Anthony is straight.
Not pleased, but amused nonetheless.
You earn two Pinkies:
One Trollestia:
And PewDiePie:

[ThisAccountisDead420]

More stories at the end? Win!

[Regidar]

1159477 Make sure you check 'em all out and love them lots!

[ThisAccountisDead420]

I will.

[Regidar]

1163911 Isn't the runescape economy great?

[D4ddy D15Cord]

Are you Elijah Goldberg and the fact that sentencewas a joke or was it really somone who died?

[Dustchu]

This was the best story ever... legitness