Chasing the Sun
“This is wrong,” said Garrus, not for the last time. He picked up the stack of photos Raven had plopped onto their table at the Three Crowns tavern. Each photo was of “Solar Flare”, and it didn’t seem like any of them were taken with her consent.
“Taking photos of the interior of a bar is not a crime.” Raven looked over her photos, studying them for some sort of clue as to why Celestia was following her. “We just wanted to immortalize a fun night out, and she just so happened to be in frame when we decided to snap a picture or two.”
“Or fifty?”
“Quantity doesn’t change legality.”
“Well, that’s not true,” remarked Luna. She was mostly observing, sipping an annoyingly weak glass of wine and flipping over an empty glass with her magic. “Fifteen grams of Pixie Sugar is simple possession, but thirty is intent to distribute. It’s the difference between five years with parole and twenty.” Luna paused with her cup mid-flip when she noticed how intently Raven and Garrus were staring at her. “What?”
“Why are you so well-versed in drug possession laws?” asked Garrus.
“Maybe cause I wrote them?”
“Or maybe cause you had a hell of a spring break,” said Raven, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Look, we’re not here to judge how you used to party, okay? We’re here to figure out how and why your sister is stalking us, and how we can stop it.”
“Bleh. The sooner we put an end to this, the better.” Luna glared at her wine as if it had insulted her mother. “This wine sucks. How am I supposed to blackout on this drek? It’s basically grape juice.”
“Moon Shine. Focus. What do we do?”
“Hm…” Luna took a moment to seriously consider the issue, rubbing her chin with her hoof. “Well, first of all, we need to figure out why Big Sister is pretending to be a barmaid. If we know what it is that she wants, we can potentially give it to her.”
“Obviously, she wants to annoy me!” exclaimed Raven, dropping her face against the table. “All I want is a nice drink after a hard day of work to bitch about my job…” Luna shook her head, taking Raven’s photos and looking through them.
“While you may be the main character in the shitty fanfiction you write in an attempt to escape your crippling loneliness, this is the real world, Inkwell. And, in the real world, not every action revolves around you,” said Luna. Raven leered at her friend, grabbing a small chip of ice from her glass in her mouth and spitting it across the table. Luna dodged it easily, rolling her eyes. “Charming. In any case, Big Sister doesn’t operate like that. Disguising herself as a commoner to work at a bar to annoy you is far beyond her capacity for a prank. Besides, she’s a notoriously awful actor, and anypony who deals with her regularly should be able to see through her act.”
“So you think her working at Ne’er-Do-Wells has nothing to do with us?” asked Raven. Luna nodded. “If not us, then why is she doing it?”
“It could be any number of reasons. Could be as simple as boredom, although I admit that’s probably a longshot. Big Sister isn’t above using the castle’s time and resources to manufacture some sort of amusement for herself. She’d start some sort of minor gossip or drama long before she actually leaves her post.”
“Even if we figure out why, we’re no closer to figuring out what to do about it. We can’t just walk up and call her out, can we?”
“We could find another bar,” suggested Garrus. “I mean, I love Ne’er-Do-Wells, reminds me of home, but that’s not the only shitty bar in Canterlot. We could just switch hangout spots.”
“That sounds like admitting defeat,” said Raven with a shake of her head. “And I am not letting her beat me.”
“I think you’re electing to take this way more personally than you need to.”
“Moon Shine, can you see into her dreams?”
“I thought of that, obviously. Big Sister’s dreams are different than a mortal pony’s.” Luna shook her head, helping Raven to mentally cross out another potential solution. “I can see them, but I can’t just kick down the door and putz around in her dreamscape like I can with you people.”
“What do you mean ‘you people’?” remarked Garrus, mostly as a joke.
“You people who haven’t spent six-hundred years meditating and training your mind with the explicit purpose of keeping me out of your head.” Raven cocked a suspicious brow, opening her mouth to inquire. “Oh, don’t get hype, the real story is way less interesting than whatever your conspiracy theory is. She just didn’t want me seeing what stallion she was into so I wouldn’t steal them away. As if I would want anypony blind enough to think that she’s the hotter sister.”
“Well, she is the Princess of the Sun…”
“Do you have anything useful to contribute, or are you just paid on a per-quip basis?”
“I’m hourly, actually, but I work for tips.” Garrus grinned at the princess, watching her annoyed expression crack into a begrudging smirk.
“I knew you could play this game, Griffon.”
“Anyway!” Once again, Raven tried to refocus the group on the task at hand. “We’re getting nowhere with this. Gary, when’s your next day off?”
“Uh… Saturday, I think.”
“Good enough. Meet me at my place then. You too, Moon Shine. I’ll run some reconnaissance,” said Raven. “Til then, stay away from Ne’er-Do-Wells. We need a game plan, and I need stronger booze…”
“Hey, Inkwell, you're out of ice.”
Raven glared across her bar, watching as Luna helped herself to the liquor behind the counter. Luna (who, despite Raven’s assurances that she didn’t need to, had decided to maintain her Moon Shine disguise even now) didn't seem to notice, instead focused on the two glasses before her. One glass held the last of Raven's whiskey, while the other half the last of her ice from the freezer.
“I just made a ton of ice this morning,” said Raven flatly. Luna shrugged, then popped an ice cube into her mouth and crunched down noisily on it.
“I like ice. Sue me.”
“I see you already finished off my booze, too. Would you like to just help yourself to the food out of my fridge while you’re at it?” Raven glared at Luna, baffled that one of Equestria’s diarchs was such a freeloading houseguest. “Hold on, I think I have some clothes you can take off my back, too.”
“Oh, now that you mention it, I am kinda hungry.” Luna leapt up from her seat, crossing the room to open Raven's fridge. “What do you have?”
“Hey, Rave, you see this?” Garrus held up a bright scarlet envelope that he found on the end if the bar. “Looks important…”
“It's from my mother, and I absolutely do not feel like dealing with whatever the hell it is right now. I'll open it later.” Raven grabbed the envelope and frowned frowned, both at the prospect of the letter and at the sight of Luna emerging from her fridge with a bowl of guacamole, before slipping the letter in her nearby saddlebag. “Dude, come on. I used the last of my avocados on that.”
“I'll replace it.” Luna removed the cover and scooped up a bit of dip with her hoof. “Decent, but needs more lime, and salt. You got any chips?” Raven opened her mouth to argue with Luna's actions, but soon decided it wasn't worth the effort.
“Cabinet behind the bar…” Luna belched, which Raven chose to interpret as a thank you, and quickly went about raiding Raven’s cabinets for snacks. “And this, Garrus, is why I don’t have people over.”
“Well, I don’t think most houseguests are like Luna,” noted Garrus.
“Thanks!” said Luna, through a mouthful of tortilla chips.
“That wasn’t a compliment.” Luna burped again, then shrugged. “Anyway… What’s the game plan?”
“Well, I’ve been using every second of my freetime watching the princess, and I’ve got nothing,” said Raven, frowning at her failure. “For someone who can’t act, her poker face is incredible. She’s sticking to her guns that she doesn’t often leave the castle.”
“That’s odd. Celestia is an awful liar,” said Luna. She shoved a hoofful of chips in her mouth, loudly and obnoxiously crunching. “Hm… None of this is making any sense. Why is she pretending to work at a run-down dive? How would she even know how?”
“That’s a good point.” Raven chewed on her tongue thoughtfully, the situation getting stranger and stranger the more she thought on it. “Celestia doesn’t drink, she doesn’t know the difference between a whiskey and a draft beer.”
“Wait, she doesn’t drink?” asked Garrus. “Not even at, like, parties or anything? I thought that was a royal thing, to lead a toast during a fancy dinner or whatever.”
“She does, but she never actually drinks it. I’ve always wondered why.”
“The reason why is none of your business.” Raven and Garrus peered at Luna, surprised by the intensity of her response. Even during the process of figuring out Celestia’s goal in following them to Ne’er-Do-Wells, Luna had maintained a light, almost uninterested attitude. But there, she sounded a bit irate.
“You okay?” asked Raven, genuinely concerned. Luna seemed to realize the sharpness in her tone, and her expression softened slightly.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just that Celestia doesn’t ask me for much,” said Luna. “And, if she wants me to keep certain things between us, I owe her at least that much.”
“Fair enough. Sorry for bringing it up,” said Garrus. Luna shrugged, then went right back to scooping guacamolee into her mouth. “Right… So, like, can we just go back to Ne’er-Do-Wells? Since you guys don’t wanna find a new spot, that’s pretty much our only option. Maybe we can figure out more by approaching the problem, instead of running from it.”
“We could figure out her schedule, and that could give us some clues,” mused Luna. “And, as long as I don’t speak, I don’t think she’ll be able to know that I’m Moon Shine. I know I sound different enough in my disguise for you, but not to Tia. She’ll know it’s me within the first three words.”
“Well, it’s not as if I’ve got any liquor here,” sighed Raven. She slipped her saddlebags onto her back, shaking her head. “I guess I can spend one night watching my mouth in case Celestia is listening.”
“Sounds good to me.” Luna nodded her agreement and, after licking the last of Raven’s guac from the bowl, tossed it across the room and landing it neatly in the kitchen sink. “Look at that! Who’s better than me, huh? Sunk it!”
“I expect a pound of avocados on my counter by Monday,” droned Raven. “Let’s go. We’ve only got a few hours before the place closes, and I could really go for a drink.”
Raven cautiously crossed the room, feeling a strange edge that she didn’t often possess when in the bar. Ne’er-Do-Wells was supposed to be a safe, relaxing place for her, not some place where she had to look over her shoulder every three seconds. Garrus blamed it on paranoia, claiming that it’s pretty unlikely that they’d run into “Solar Flare” again in such a short span.
“Seriously, what are the chances of us getting her twice?” asked Garrus as he followed Raven to the back of the bar, their usual table empty and waiting for them. “It’s later than when we first saw her, we probably missed her shift.”
“The Griffon brings up a good point,” agreed Moon Shine. “You know what your problem is, Inkwell? You try too hard, and that leads to you worrying.” She unceremoniously dropped herself into her usual chair, letting out a satisfied groan. “Damn, it’s good to be back… You should stop trying, and stop caring.”
“That would end in disaster,” said Raven. While she didn’t make any audible noise like Luna had, she did fight back a smirk as she sat down and shifted her saddlebags off. It was nice to be back, even after such a short hiatus. “Who’s gonna put out Celestia’s fires if I’m not trying?”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean. Your problem is that you’re so good at what you do and put so much effort forward that you make it seem easy! Big Sister takes that for granted, so you should just stop trying. Do everything half-assed.” Luna grinned mischievously. “Like me! I put in like half effort into most things, and it normally works out pretty okay.”
“When was the last time you put 100% effort into something, out of curiosity?” asked Garrus.
“About a thousand years ago, when I tried to usurp the throne.”
“Well, hey there, strangers!”
There was no time for Raven and Garrus to unpack that statement, as their regular barmaid neared the table. Raven felt herself relax when she saw her, beyond thrilled to see a friendly, familiar, definitely-not-Celestia face. The barmaid looked happy in her own right to see her three regulars back where they belonged.
“Where have you three been off to?” she asked with a good-natured grin. “Better not be getting your drinks someplace else.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Garrus. “We just, uh, haven’t had the time to relax over a drink the past week or so.”
“Ah, right, right, I getcha. Was afraid my niece scared you lot off!”
Luna, Raven, and Garrus glanced at each other, a quick mental conference taking place. Could it really be…?
“Your… Niece?” asked Raven. The barmaid nodded.
“Yep, my niece Solar was on her way to Las Pegasus to work for some fancy-schmancy resort’s bar, and she stopped here for a while so I could teach her the ropes.” The barmaid chuckled, shaking her head at the thought of her pure, innocent niece working in Sin City. “I may not look like it, but I can mix a cocktail with the best of ‘em, and I taught Solar everything I know. She’ll do just fine out there, I’m sure.”
“So Solar Flare was your niece,” said Raven, just barely resisting the urge to slam her face against the table. “That explains a lot, actually.”
“Yeah, she must get that bright personality from you,” chimed Garrus.
“Goddess willing, that’s all she got from me! Anyway, you three must be thirsty. Lemme get you a round on the house, to welcome you back.”
“That’s incredibly generous of you, thanks.”
“Well, since we already look like dumbasses, we may as well go all the way,” sighed Luna. “Hey, barmaid lady. We’ve been drinking here for a while and I don’t think any of us have ever learned your name.” The barmaid laughed, her genuine amusement doing very little to calm Raven’s pure, unadulterated embarrassment.
“Yeah, that happens. Most folks aren’t regular here, so we don’t develop a relationship,” said the barmaid. “But, since you lot seem like you’re here to stay, I suppose we can be friendly with one another. Name’s Guinness Pint, but you can call me Ginny.”
“Ginny! Damn it, I knew that!” groaned Raven, burying her face in her hooves. “Sorry about that, I’m terrible with names…”
“Don’t worry about it, hon. Here, let me get you your drinks, and I’ll write it down for you all, so you don’t forget.”
Ginny gave a teasing wink before heading off to the bar to gather the trio’s drinks. Raven sighed, finally succumbing to her urges and slamming her face against the hard wood of the bar table.
“It was her niece! It wasn’t Celestia at all!”
“I mean, in retrospect…” mused Luna. “She was just a unicorn that had vaguely the same color scheme and naming convention. We kinda jumped to the conclusion that she was Celestia…”
“Yeah, why did we think that? Just cause she was tall, had a white coat and a sun-related Cutie Mark?” added Garrus. “That applies to like 80% of Canterlot ponies, really.”
“Seriously, why would we ever assume it was Celestia in disguise when it’s a million times more likely that it’s just somepony who looks kinda like her?”
Raven opened her mouth to speak, but had no response good enough to defend the trio’s simply ridiculous leap in logic. Of course it wasn’t Celestia. Why would it be Celestia, and not one of thousands of potential unicorn mares with sun-based names? It’s not uncommon for parents to give their daughters names that are inspired by Princess Celestia’s, as it was considered a sign of good luck and that the filly would grow into a beautiful successful mare. Raven knew this and, as usual, she let her stress and worry get to her.
“Maybe you’re right, Moon,” sighed Raven, digging through her saddlebags. “Maybe I should just stop trying…” She pulled out the letter from her mother, looking it over. She wasn’t sure when it came in, maybe a day or two ago, but it couldn’t possibly be that important. If it was something Harpy absolutely needed Raven to know, she would’ve said it to her in person. Even still, Raven knew she’d have to read the letter eventually, and she figured it would be best to do so with alcohol on the way to take the edge off.
“God damn it!” said Garrus suddenly. Luna and Raven looked at him expectantly, waiting for some sort of explanation. “I just realized! Solar Flare isn’t Celestia!”
“Yeah? We kinda figured that out already, bird brain,” said Raven, peeling open her letter. “That’s also a good thing.”
“Yeah, but if she’s not Celestia, that means I could’ve asked her out…” Garrus groaned, dropping his face against the table much like Raven had. “Another shot, missed.”
“Oh, don’t feel too bad,” said Luna. “It’s not like you had a chance with her anyway. She was way out of your league.”
“Thanks for the honesty…” Garrus looked up, his expression immediately shifting from annoyed to concerned. Raven was staring at the letter, but it didn’t seem as if she was reading it anymore. She just stared, dazed. The color left her already pale complexion, giving her the appearance of a mare dead on her hooves. “Rave? You okay?”
“I have to go,” breathed Raven. She stumbled to her hooves, stowing the letter away and digging around for her coin purse. “I… I have to go.”
“We just got here,” said Luna. “What’s the deal?”
“I need to… Shit, the trains aren’t running anymore, damn it!” Raven nearly knocked over her chair as she bustled to leave. She didn’t make it far before Garrus grabbed her by the wrist, slowing her down.
“Raven, calm down. You’re starting to freak me out,” he said. “What’s going on? Why do you need to leave? Where do you have to go?”
“Mareizona. It’s my dad. He’s just had a stroke.” Raven felt her lip tremble as she realized just what that meant. “And I don’t know if he’s going to make it.”
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I was just thinking about this story like, an hour ago.
Well, damn
9510708
I know. I'm inside your head. Nice place, love what you're doing for decoration. Very classy
WELL THAT HIT TOO FUCKING CLOSE TO HOME FOR ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING COMFORT.
i miss you dad...
9510737 Spooky. Are you in everyone's head, or just this guys?
9510761
I come and go. Depends on who's open. Anywhere to avoid being in my own head.
9510743
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, and I hope you don't think I did this just to trigger you or something. I just lost an uncle a few weeks ago, and it got me thinking about things like this. I didn't mean to upset you.
9510778
It's fine, it's fine. I know you didn't mean any harm. It just... Well, some things are just triggers, y'know? Even if it happened four years ago.
I'll be fine.
Ish.
*helpless smile*
Well hoe-lee sheet. That's one way to end the chapter. Amazing work as always, leaving us with a cliffhanger and diverting the expectations like blizzard with new diablo game. Gotta say, i love it!
Luna better step up and get her a quick ride.
Your right Luna, because who ever heard of an alicorn princess be disguised as a normal pony and slumming in a dive bar in Canterlot.
9511145
That was kinda the joke of this chapter
9510743
I'm with ya there, bud. My father died of a stroke a decade ago. Been long enough that it doesn't really trigger me anymore. That, and the fact that I had a stroke myself when I was six. Hell, most things don't trigger me anymore...
9511150
I kind of guessed. :) It was a really good chapter.
Nice chapter!
Most people are (rightfully) thinking about the stroke situation, but I feel I should bring up a smaller point: how will Celestia deal with things while Raven is away?
Well, I get the feeling that Raven is going to call in a pound-of-avocados-sized favor here and get emergency transportation.
Getting Raven home as fast as possible is well within Luna's abilities. If nothing else, she can have her guards fly Raven over via chariot - Celestia showed that royal decree can be used to have guards transport people in the first episode.
I would kinda like to see Luna charter a private train and go with Raven as a friend, and make sure her dad is getting the best possible care.
Wrist?
Back at it again with a surprising serious turn. I just hope the next chapter doesn't take as long as this one to come out. The cliffhanger is killing me.
9511906
I've never been able to confirm whether or not horses have wrists, and it sounds a hell of a lot better than saying he grabbed her ankle.
9511908
I wouldn't hold my breath for an update soon, but I probably won't make you wait another year. Assuming I don't devolve into a messy pile of depression and anxiety like I did last time I updated this story.
I'll try to get this story out and done with as soon as I can.
9511917
fetlock the anatomic part in horses is fetlock.
9511923
A) that sounds just as weird, if not weirder, than ankle
B) fetlocks don't bend the way that ponies do. Easier for everyone if I just call it a wrist. If you came here for 100% correct equine anatomy, I am genuinely sorry to have let you down.
Someone kill this heretic
Ask best princess Luna to just Teleport you in exchange for those avocados that she ate earlier
9511918
hey man, depression and anxiety is not a good, is a bad. If you need anyone to talk to you can always just pm me and we can exchange discord usernames or some other contact info. But I'm glad you're feeling better, stay strong my dude
I had wondered if this story would restart soon. Glad to see it updated again. Good chapter too!
That's the kind of stuff you either sent a servant to tell or tell in person, not just sent a letter. Or you know, lazy Celestia could have told her since it wad so damn urgent.
There is also telegrams that we know exist in Equestria.
I was sincerely hoping it was Celestia
That would have been so...intriguing!
Still thank you for the story update, I look forward to more.
9512425
It's actually not Harpy's fault. She heard the news when she was out of town on royal business and immediately departed to Mareizona, sending Raven that letter on her way. She magicked it on top of the rest of Raven's mail, hoping she'd read it asap and meet her at the hospital that day.
9512055
I very much so appreciate that, bro.
Well shit. That got dark REAL quick
9512851
Just like real life.
I realized that this story has become a comedy. While that's not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, this story isn't meant to just be funny. It's supposed to be a look at a grumpy mare with a deceptively tough life, in a way that a lot of people can hopefully relate to. So I decided to 86 some comedy chapters, and move this plot line forward.
This story isn't sad or dark now. Just like life, it has its ups and its downs
9512840
Teleporting letters that way doesn't seem to be something easy to do, otherwise Twilight Sparkle wouldn't need Spike to teleport letters for her. In fact the only one we have seen doing stuff like that are alicorns like Celestia.
So nope, that doesn't work unless Raven's mother special talent is mail delivery.
9513651
Well, you actually got pretty close.
It's not that the spell is super hard or anything. It's just a very specific spell that not many people bother with because they don't send letters all that often. Twilight just so happened to have Spike, and so she didn't need to learn how (of course, she probably did just for fun, but it would be like walking a couple of blocks when you can just ask for a ride). Even Twilight doesn't have much use for the spell. She only really writes to Celestia.
Harpy, however, was the Royal Advisor, which means she had to write a lot of letters on Celestia's behalf. It would make sense that she figured out how to send those letters effeciently, seeing as it's a big part of her job.
Not everything is Harpy being a bad, inconsiderate mother. Sometimes, you can only do so much, and hope it's enough.
Plot twist, solar flare was one of celestia's agents which thought her cover was blown some how. She was sent to keep an eye on luna and ginny was raven's original agent.
Also poor raven, at least lunanis there to pull rank and help her out.
9512871
Hmmm....I can see where you are coming with this. Not sure I'd want it this dark and definitely this fast...but then again I haven't actually seen what happens. Maybe I'll enjoy this more than the last Arc with the "Celestia" in the bar.
Why wouldn't Raven's mother tell her about this in person? It's been so long since last chapters, are either of them on vacation or anything? Why send a slow letter instead if they work together? That seems even more insensitive
9514475
As I told another commenter, Harpy was out of town on royal business. She heard about Birch Burrow, Raven's father, and immediately departed to Mareizona to see him. That's a rather long train ride and, as Raven herself said, it's unknown how long Birch has left. It wouldn't make sense for Harpy to go to Canterlot, grab Raven, and go to Mareizona when she could get in the train, magick a letter over to Raven, and meet here there. Unfortunately, Equestria doesn't have cell phones, and Harpy had to bank on Raven reading her mail as soon as she got it, which she unfortunately did not. Harpy did the best she could, making the most efficient decision knowing that every hour she wastes in transit could easily be Birch's last.
"I mean, if I put my all into warding the dream realm, the entire psychotherapy industry would collapse overnight. Literally overnight!"
Abd I can't help but compare Raven and Twilight. Maybe if the latter took saving the day a bit less seriously, the other princesses might pull a bit more weight.
And wow, that mood whiplash at the end. Looking forward to more.
Thank you for another chapter.
It made my day, after I spent my day-off yesterday in bed with a terrible headache.
9522461
I suffer from some pretty harsh headaches myself, so I sympathize with your plight. Glad I could make your day a little less awful.
Quickly became one of my favorite reads. Excited to read more.
9566740
I'm sorry to inform you that you might be excited for a good while. I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to work on the next chapter, but there will surely be a wait.
9567618
Your story, your pace my guy. I'll be just as excited whenever you pump it out, if waiting doesn't build it up even more.
Garrus, I anoint you New!Xander. Bear it well.
> “While you may be the main character in the shitty fanfiction you write in an attempt to escape your crippling loneliness, this is the real world, Inkwell."
Loving that 4th wall break.