Nothing Without Me

by chillbook1

Raven's Absence

“So…” Garrus uneasily sipped his beer, peering across the table. Moon Shine was flipping her empty glass over in her magic after having drained it of its firewhisky. “How are things?”

“You’re being weird, Griffon. Stop being weird."

"How am I being weird? I'm just making small talk," said Garrus, although he could not deny how odd the situation felt. It had been four days since he last saw Raven, and her presence was very dearly missed. Something about their dynamic felt off, the third seat at their table cold and empty without their friend to occupy it.

"Exactly. We don't small talk," said Luna. "We banter and talk shit about each other, but we don't small talk. Small talk is lame. Don't be lame, Griffon."

"Do you ever intend to learn my name? We've been friends for a while now, and it's really not that hard."

"Oh, I know your name is Garrus." Luna downed her other glass of firewhisky, adding the glass to the other and flipping them both. "But I feel like calling you Griffon annoys you."

"Eh, not really," said Garrus with a shrug. He pushed his flagon forward, tapping his claw on the table. "Griffons have some mean names we call each other as kids. Some of the things I heard on the playground… Still kinda stings."

"Please. When I was at school, I got called slurs and mean names that don't even exist anymore," said Luna. "When you come from a family like mine, you tend to catch the ire of salty-ass peasants who think you have something to do with your father's decision to raise their taxes, or your Big Sister refusing their advances. Not my fault that a princess doesn't want to date some random peanut farmer, doesn't mean you should take it out on me. Setting my tail on fire won't make my sister suddenly find you attractive, you stupid idiot."

Garrus raised a brow at Luna's bitter, almost absent-minded rambling about her past. Luna paused when she realized she was being stared at, slumping down in her seat slightly.

"You know, the more I talk to you and the more you talk about your personal life, the more I understand why you are the way you are," noted Garrus.

"Oh? And what way is that?"

"Kind of a trainwreck?"

"Ah. Well, you're not wrong," shrugged Luna. "I never said I didn't have major issues. Quite the opposite, actually. What, you think I get blackout drunk for shits and giggles?"

"Eh… Something about excessive drinking doesn't sound too attractive at the moment," said Garrus, wincing at the memory from earlier in the week. Harpy wasn't in a good way the last time he saw her, and he couldn't possibly enjoy getting drunk after seeing her like that.

"I'm kidding, in any case. I drink so much because I literally cannot get more than a buzz on mortal liquor," explained Luna. She reached forward with her magic and grabbed Garrus' flagon. When he didn't react, she downed the remainder of his mostly untouched beer in a single gulp. "Alicorn biology, you know. If I really wanna get shit-faced, I'd have to do some dimension hopping to get my hooves on some Daemon."

"Daemon?"

"It's kinda like bourbon, if bourbon tasted like pomegranate. And had the consistency of a slug. And was also served hotter than the surface of the sun." Luna began juggling all three cups with her magic, clearly amused by her own display. "I'd offer to take you to try some, but even a sip would turn your eyeballs into soup, melt your bones into tar, and evaporate your very soul." She paused to laugh at Garrus' justifiably horrified expression. "Besides that, though, it's pretty tasty."

"Yeah… Hard pass."

"Maybe I should take you two losers for a trip through the multiverse. Could be fun, showing you mere mortals just how small your insignificant fragment of reality really is." Luna glanced to her right, as if expecting Raven to be there, frowning when she was nowhere to be seen. "Ugh… this is so… Boring!"

"Sorry that I'm not entertaining enough for you, Moony," droned Garrus.

"No, it's not that. Don't get me wrong, Inkwell is plenty boring, too. You guys both suck." Luna pouted, dropping her chin to the table. "But your boring cancels out her boring, and it all works out. Without her here… our dynamic is ruined!" She rocked her drinking glasses, nodding a silent thank you as Ginny came around with another firewhisky. "I wish she didn't have to be away…"

"Are you… Do you actually miss Raven?" asked Garrus, arching his brow. Luna sneered at him, rolling her eyes as she downed her whisky.

"Don't be an idiot, Griffon. Of course I don't miss Inkwell. I simply acknowledge that we have a particular synergy, and losing a third of our group has completely undone said synergy." Garrus examined Luna's expression, grinning as the princess tried to maintain her annoyed, indifferent glare.

"You do! You miss her!" laughed Garrus. "You're worried about her, huh?"

"Shut up. I don't even like Inkwell, really. I only drink with you two idiots because I don't want you two to snitch on me to Big Sister," grumbled Luna. "If it weren't for you constantly trying to bang me, I would've been content to minding my own business."

"Geez, what is with you? Raven, too." Garrus rolled his eyes, tapping his claw on the table. "I was definitely hitting on you, won't deny that, but it wasn't a sex thing."

"You were buying a mare drinks with no intention of bringing her to bed?"

"No! Well, maybe…" Luna snorted, clearly not buying into Garrus' explanation. "Obviously, I found you attractive, but I was thinking with my heart, not my… Er…"

"Your 'beak'?" offered Luna.

"Again with the beak. I'm starting to get offended, really…"

"Lieutenant Oak?"

Garrus turned on his stool, curious as to who would be addressing him by rank here in Ne'er-Do-Wells. A dainty, delicate-looking pony approached, thin and lithe even by pegasus standards, wearing a set of golden Canterlot guard armor that seemed several sizes too big for them. The pegasus clanked forward, their long, scarlet mane coming down to near their shoulders, their eyes shining like emeralds as they approached.

"Private Shepard! Didn't think I'd see you around this side of town," said Garrus with a grin. He beckoned with his claw. "Come on, have a seat. Don't be shy."

"Thank you very much, Lieutenant." Shepard slid into the stool that was usually occupied by Raven, earning themselves a slight glare from the disguised Princess Luna. "Hello. I'm Shep, good to meet you."

"Hey. Moon Shine." Luna seemed flat and dry in her delivery, even more than usual. "Charmed."

"Hey, Ginny!" Garrus called to the barmaid, who was busy tending to patrons on the other side of the bar. "Let's have another round over here!"

"No problem, hon!"

"So. I take it you know each other?" asked Luna. Garrus smirked, nudging Luna's shoulder. "What?"

"I thought small talk was lame," teased Garrus.

"It is, when you do it."

"We're friends from work, yes," said Shepard, smiling a small, mousey smile. "Lieutenant Oak has been basically in charge of me these last few weeks. I'm fresh out of basic training, you see?"

"Hardest working recruit I've seen, in Equestria or Griffonstone," said Garrus. Ginny arrived at the table a short second later with a tray of three frothy flagons of beer.

"Here you are. I see you've got yourselves a new drinking buddy," remarked Ginny, sliding each drink forward. "Quite the popular griffon you are, hm? Trading one pretty mare for another?" Luna laughed, taking a heavy swig of her beer.

"You think this feather brain has any luck with the ladies?" snorted Luna. "Need I remind you how I ended up drinking with him and Inkwell in the first place?"

"Aww, don't be like that! I'm sure you'll find the one someday, hon." Ginny winked at Garrus, smirking as the griffon blushed. "If I were you, I'd get another round of drinks for your new mare friend."

"Thank you, Ginny. I'll keep that in mind," sighed Garrus, sipping his beer. Ginny just gave a knowing chuckle as she trotted away to keep an eye on her bar. "Just like Mom…"

"Does she think you were flirting with me?" asked Shepard curiously.

"Mainly because he flirts with anything with two X chromosomes," remarked Luna.

"First off, untrue," said Garrus. "I flirt with whoever I feel like I might have a connection with."

"Yes, and I'm sure you were yearning for a 'connection' when you saw my flank from across the bar."

"Second of all, that doesn't apply to me," said Shepard. "Because I'm not a mare."

"Seriously?" asked Luna. Shepard nodded. "Huh. You sure? You seem so…"

"Fem?" Shep suggested.

"I was going to say something that was more likely to get me in trouble, but sure. Let's go with 'fem'. Did you know this, Griffon?"

"Uh, yes? I thought it was pretty obvious," remarked Garrus. "I never really understood why so many people think you're a mare."

"Have you seen him?" asked Luna. "Seriously, I was acting shitty because I thought he was hotter than me."

"Thanks. I think," said Shepard with a shrug. "I guess I look feminine enough, but I'd think my voice would give it away."

"Nah. You've got that light, airy, sexy voice going on. Honestly, I'm a little jealous. I sound like somepony's chain-smoking great aunt." Luna glared almost bitterly at the temporary member of their trio. "You could probably bring home more stallions than me, if you were into that."

"Eh… Maybe not as many as you'd think. I kinda forget how to speak whenever there's a cute boy around." Shepard fidgeted in his seat, blushing slightly. Luna tilted her head in curiosity, apparently amazed by the shocking development. "Why the shock? You're the one who said I was super 'fem', as you put it."

"I say a lot of bullshit, to be fair. My general strategy in conversation is to throw a bunch of crap at the wall until something sticks."

"How does that work?"

"I've been told to develop a new strategy. Naturally, I ignore that." Shep chuckled slightly, which seemed to amuse Luna. "So, all cards on the table. You're gay, then?"

"Like Hearth's Warming morning."

The grin that spread across Luna's muzzle could be described best as "devious".

"What's that look?" asked Garrus, although he seemed afraid of the answer.

"Oh, nothing. So, Shepard, read anything good lately?" asked Luna, feigning innocence. "Trashy romance or anything of the like?"

"Guilty as charged. Always had a weakness for a cheesy love story." Shepard looked confused. "Why?"

"Just ignore her, Shep. Goddess knows I do."

"Right… So, the barmaid mentioned I'm filling in for somepony?" inquired Shepard.

"Something like that. Good friend of ours is out of town, dealing with some family stuff." Garrus wished that Raven could be there, if for no other reason than to take her mind off of all of the stress. He'd have to remind Luna to help him get a care package of some kind to Raven.

"Ah. Well, I hope things go well for her."

"Me too," sighed Luna. Garrus gave her a sideways glance, which annoyed her to no end. "Fine, you wanna hear me say it? Whatever, I miss Raven and I wish she was here! Does that satisfy you, Griffon?" Garrus smiled, giving a slow, steady nod of approval.

"Yeah, actually, it does. It's good to know that you've got a soul somewhere in there."

Comments

[Pinklestia]

Uh... another chapter I missed.

[Derpy_DragonV1]

Shit man I'm here in the same boat as luna with the chain smoking aunt voice. Got it when my voice changed lmao

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

"Thanks. I think," said Shepard with a shrug. "I guess I look feminine enough, but I'd think my voice would give it away."

REALLY old talk show
Truman Capote old time author "Have you ever been mistaken for a man on the phone?"

Tallulah Bankhead deep voiced old time actress "No. Have you?"

I remember this because I love good snark.