You have my attention good sir.

This seems like it will be a great story. I will look forward to more chapters

8244358

Sorry, he was just grumpy given the circumstances. I'm sure second time they meet will be different.

8244401

Lol Glad to see your trying out this new story too knives.

This is good. I like it.

8244793

Thanks for letting me know I'll fix that as soon as I can. as for the gun part, The only thing he bought on his own was the Desert Eagle, the rest he got from his rich family over the years. However if there is anywhere that said that he purchased anything other then bullets or the eagle. let me know cuz I don't want to confuse people on that fact.

8244797

No don't worry about that, That's helpful for me. you see something I missed please do bring it up so I can fix it asap.

8244430 It's a good story so far.

s2.quickmeme.com/img/a4/a4d2781e3febcfc9c4b43f127c52f632c6fcded9d1c310b1a88ffdb0eececad4.jpg

8245051

I think it's me that probably have missed that. if you don't mind, can you show me where this happens? So I can focus on it more cuz I can't see it.

This is me trying to make heads or tails of the note. Does this mean we can expect a chapter every 3 weeks? Also, will Dan bring up how Fluttershy only talks to him about his morals and nothing more?

8245219
If I'm on a roll with my writing that I get it done by in that very week and it gets past the editors swiftly then generally that's a possibility. All I can say for certain is that until my other story reaches it's end, expect a chapter between a month to a month and a half. As the Fluttershy thing, that's gonna be inevitable that both their ideals are gonna clash again in due time. Basically, he'll probably nip the issue with her in the bud as soon as possible to avoid future pointless conflict.

8245427

Sorry about that, I basically had to post this on a different browser when I made it since my previous one wouldn't let me even post anything strangely. so I had just recently reinstalled Grammarly and going over these things again. managed to fix the prologue through the third chapter and moving on to the 4th as we speak.

Well, other than grammar, kudos for the story. Looks pretty interesting as long as the 'misunderstood avenger' cliche doesn't get too far.

8245719

Please, that hurt me if that cliche dragged on too long, lol. It won't happen.

Cool story so far, I've only read up to chapter 2 but its great so far.
With the odd grammar mistake, I'm loving it keep up the good work.

8245900

Who said the gun range was officially in Detroit?

Feeling a witcher-ish vibe.

With guns. And people aren't assholes.

So, interested in seeing this progress.

8246022

That is by far the closest analogy to the story I've heard so far. Kudos good sir. I hope you enjoy when we get into the "Hunts" :)

8244869
It's more of the legality side. Can't buy NFA weapons for someone or gift them. Hell, without the legal owner present, they are a felony to touch or even have access to.

Literally you, and only you can have access to the safe they are in, plus a whole bunch of other requirements. While he could have gotten a semi auto MP5 pistol or rifle clone, or AR-15, there is pretty much no way for him to have the real NFA weapons at 22.

Btw, if you have any firearm questions just ask. Almost 20 years shooting, 8 years as a FFL dealer, and 15 years as a big game hunter. (I'm a not exactly a young guy lol)

8245900
Well, it is Detroit, so the streets kinda double as one. Just like Chicago.

8246528

Hmm, so for accuracy's sake if I stuck to those three kinds of guns being in his vault along with the hunting rifle I mentioned in the story as well since he's over 21 now officially, should it be fine if he hypothetically had the money now to purchase those NFA weapons. because he will eventually because that is basically what will happen soon in the story as well. Ignoring the fact of how much money it would cost and how strange and suspicious it would be for said 22-year-old to acquire such funds to purchase them?

8246751

Legal side of it, yup. Weird, yup, but I've seen stranger in the gun world.

8246802

Lol, perfect then. Hopefully, it'll give you a good laugh cuz it's kinda out there how he'll get the funds.

8246893

Haha you even got 4 likes, Nice. Yup you got me there, I'm just a know nothing author on the subject. Not a veteran, never been to a gun range, never hunted in real life, never touched an actual gun, All I had to go on were various video games and movies involving them and yet my dumbass wants to try write a story using them. *shrugs* heck I think I even made Arxsys write that forum post about the clip and magazine thing the other day, and if not, then that's one hell of a coincidence, which I highly doubt is the case XD.

Basically what I'm trying to say Adamanthys is don't worry, I am aware now. Thank you for for bringing it up however, truly. I can't learn if no one says anything about it.

8247080

Huh... no kidding? Didn't know that either.

8247102

I could, but I kind of had another idea in mind.

8247159

Is it? it's normally a revolver or the Glock every time I read stories with this.

8247132

Well, I do remember that much about suppressors.

Outside of some editing issues and minor mishaps your on a good start here.

Course he will have to deal with himself when he goes back for the rest of the arsenal/assorted/necessary equipment (reloading equipment and such sundry will be required if he plans on using his guns for a extended period of time)

I'm going to give this a read later, but I hope that the Romance tag has just as much impact to the overall story as the Adventure tag.

8245497
It might be helpful to explain Rabies as something similar.

An infected animal becomes overly aggressive and will attack anyone or thing near it, and is a threat. There is a treatment for rabies, if it is caught in time, but said treatment is long and extremely painful. If it's not caught in time, and the infected animal is left alone, it will die a long, painful death. At that time, the only course of action is a swift death.

Now, I had choice. Do I choose to save your lives at the cost of that Thing? Or do I choose to to let it live and let it kill you, and others in Ponyville? One life, bent on the destruction of everything around it, or the lives of many, peacefully going about their business? That's my job.

8247717

I definitely intend it to be meaningful, but it will take time to happen. True love I believe isn't instant.

8247719

Wow that's actually a good analogy for it. Now I wish I thought of that as his rebuttal during the arguement scene lol

8247931
Of course love takes time. What I meant is that I hope the story focuses on Romance; not just being in the background or in side-story chapters.

8247963

Definitely, when the moment the realization hits, it will definitely have that impact you speak of.

that last line though. I would have had the same reaction, though it's more of an apathy thing than anything else.

8247931
Well~, there is an "Edit" button... right?
-Never published a story, so I don't know the process/screen layouts-

This.. this.. this is gods gift.. this story is so bucking good. You just got a favourite, a like, and a follower.

Just finished reading, and I have to say; this is a good start. You have a habit of repeating certain words and phrases, like 'as well', but other than that; this is nice.

Definite like and track.

8249529
first point. you are correct on that point. however, I went with it because he'd be able to wield the cumbersome soon for various reasons.

second point. Don't worry if you keep reading they'll be an explanation for that.

third point. That's just a given, but it will have to wait until the time comes he's about to enter the forest.

8248491

I KNOW I hate that I have that stupid habit of typing those two words. I'm trying to stop it but whenever I let my guard down. bam it happens. Sorry you had to go through that pet peeve of mine.

Magic is basically a part of nature in this world, and Nature seems to like coddling them.

damn you nature i wanna coddle the ponies as well!

How could someone not like this story(you know not counting the gore and such) love this story so far nice work going to be worth the wait i mean i'm still waiting on story's that have not updated in 3+ years.......i really should find more stuff to do with my free time lol

Very nice start to the story. Will be following along as well as to your other story. Can't wait to see how this goes.

8246893
What would the correct term for a sniper be then

Dan cracks me up!!!

“Please say, person. I’m not a pony. In fact, I probably should’ve said this earlier, but around me and any non-pony people here could you not refer to them as such? Everypony is EveryBODY. Since every living creature has a body. Same for the words, Somebody, anybody, and nobody. I get that the majority of this society are ponies, but please keep in mind of foreigners or anyone that isn’t a pony that comes to this country.

Please stop it. It's funny to make fun of the "everypony" thing but it it's just annoying when someone goes into Equestria and demands that they change a staple of their language simply for the fact that "it's not inclusive." Our protagonist can very clearly understand what they are trying to convey, so it shouldn't be a problem.

8976596

A true fact, but everyone is different, that’s just how Dan thinks. Side note, I never actually saw the word “Everypony” as funny. Though I suppose others do. I'm not sure.