The ponies of Ponyville were gathered up on bleachers around a wide and sunny patch of grass. Two ovens had been set up on the field. A great bin held an impressive collection of domestic tools and supplies. On one side of that field sat Twilight Sparkle. On the other, her challengers, Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon.
Mayor Mare stood between the two opposing sides. "I'm glad you all came to witness this." She nodded her head to the growing crowd. There were ponies and humans both. Mayor Mare wore a translator, but the competitors did not.
A fact Twilight pointed out. "I am making every effort to learn Laud's language. If you aren't going to do that, wearing a translator should be the default minimum, hmm? How else do you plan to converse with your stallion?"
Bon Bon's eyes dropped in a suspicious frown. "I don't see a translator on you, Princess. What makes you excluded if you're going to chastise us?"
Twilight cleared her throat before turning to the crowd. "Hello," she said in slow English, equine accent thick but not impenetrable. "I... will fight... fair. Thank you."
Lyra nudged Bon Bon. "She has a point."
"Not helping!" Bon Bon hurried up to the bin of supplies and dug around. "I didn't bring a translator."
Twilight nodded. "Not a problem. I'm prepared for the needs of my stallion." With a sparkle, two translators appeared and floated over to her competitors, glowing with her magic. "Here you are."
Mayor Mare shook her head. "We've scarcely begun and Twilight has already shown flexibility in the management of her stallion's particular needs."
Bon Bon snatched her translator from the air and crammed it around her neck hastily. "Alright, Lyra, time for us to shine."
Lyra took the collar with her magic, the color shifting from Twilight's to her own before she stepped into it and clasped it in place. "Ready!"
Mayor Mare gave a soft nod, as much to herself as anyone else. "Alright, let's begin with cooking." She gestured left and right at either oven. "Your stallion hungers. Being omnivores, he would like a meal that is nutritionally balanced, with meat, vegetables, and some bread. A dessert with some fruit and perhaps a dash of sweetness would be ideal."
In a cordoned section of the stands, Laud sat. His head rested on his folded hands, his elbows on his legs. He watched the proceedings with a deep and unflinching gravity. He felt someone approaching and glanced over to see Paul settling beside him. The section was supposed to be just for him, but attempting to lecture his superior on the fact felt like folly.
Paul gestured across the grassy field. "I imagine this isn't what you expected." Laud was quiet, so he continued. "It looks like both sides are taking this seriously." Laud remained still. "You will be wed to the winner of this ridiculous, if adorable, conflict."
Laud sat up, his hands lowering to his legs. "If she wanted me, she should have said so. Waiting until she was forced to act does not speak highly of her."
Paul raised a brow at him. "Ah, a word. You favor the lady Sparkle then?"
Laud went quiet a moment, tapping his knee with a pointer. "As you said, Sir, whoever wins this contest will have me. I am ready to do what must be done."
Paul clapped Laud on his stiff shoulder. "There is little need for that formality. This is the most absurd, no, silly, competition held in the most utter seriousness I have had the pleasure of seeing. Accept it as a good thing. If nothing else, this will make it all the more clear that these are not a corrupt or evil people, to settle things with an honest display of domestic skills."
Mayor Mare blew a whistle in a keen single cry, the contest began. Lyra and Bon Bon burst into a gallop, each gathering ingredients. Without talking, they seemed to be gathering what they needed for different dishes, working on different parts of the intended meal.
Lyra grinned as she worked, slicing vegetables with a floating knife. "Shame there isn't time to make some candy. Your candy would win easy."
Bon Bon slapped some meat down on a skillet, shaking it with a hoof as she watched it carefully. "No time to worry about the could-have-beens, Lyra. I know how to cook a dinner." She grabbed a bottle in her mouth and sprinkled some of the spices it held onto the sizzling meat. "Stay focused."
Twilight bowed softly to them, then to Mayor Mare. She turned back to the oven and sat down. Her horn began to glow, softly at first, but with rapidly increasing luminosity. With a bright flash, a beam of eldritch power cascaded over the oven. An egg-timer rang once, and the door popped open, revealing an entire meal's worth of food. "I prefer to take my time cooking, but if my stallion is hungry, we can't keep him waiting."
The crowd murmured with awe at the gross display of magic. There was some nervousness among the humans, but few of them feared being culinaried to death. It was such a mundane use of the unknown, they were left conflicted.
Mayor Mare approached Twilight's oven to sample the result as Lyra twitched. "By Celestia's beard! She's already done?!"
Bon Bon nudged Lyra. "Keep going. This isn't a race. We'll beat her."
Miss Mare sat down and picked up the big hamburger from inside the oven. "Just the right bit of toasted on the outside." She peeled the bun off. "Condiments are applied evenly." She sniffed softly. "Smells delightful, if a bit unusual, but I imagine whatever humans prefer to put in here is not the same as what a pony would." To her credit, she did not ask what that was. Instead she closed it back up and sank her teeth into it and chewed thoughtfully. "Mmm." She swallowed, even that done with dramatic weight.
"Very good, Twilight. I had no idea you were a cook."
Twilight smiled at the mayor. "Oh, I've cooked before, plenty of times. Just because Spike can, and often does, help, doesn't mean I'm unskilled." She gestured at the burger. "I modeled this after my favorite burger from Hay Burger."
"I thought it was familiar..." She set the burger down on a plate then reached for the next part, a big helping of fries. She nibbled on one, making it vanish into a mildly salted memory. "Mmm, delightful, and I see you've prepared a salad." She slipped her hoof into a fork-horse shoe and poked into the salad with it, sampling the colorful mixture of veggies and seeds. "Delightful... But, of course, the true judge must be called in." She set it all back down on the provided plate. "I'll be right back."
She trotted towards Laud with her stately smile.
Paul slapped his back. "You get to try what she's made, bewitched or not. Looks good. Do you mind if I try some?"
Laud forced a little smile. "No harm in that, Sir. I should try it first though."
Bon Bon focused on keeping herself calm. Whatever was happening with Laud at the moment didn't matter. She just had to finish what she was doing with the skill she knew she had. She pretended he didn't exist, or the mayor. They didn't matter, not yet. She peeked in the oven and smiled. She pulled out her tray with a rag in her mouth to shield her from the heat. "Your turn."
Lyra scooted over and threw a sheet into the oven, making use of it without delay. "Can we do it?"
"Wrong thing to be thinking about." Bon Bon set down her half-finished meal, garnishing it carefully. "Do your best."
Mayor Mare set the plate down in Laud's lap. "And now the tasting. What I think as the judge counts, of course, but if it doesn't please the stallion, then there is no purpose, hmm?"
Laud dipped his shoulders forward in as best a bow as he could manage with food in his lap. "Thank you." He took a fry, a safe bet. Mmm, just the right dash of salt, but also something else in there, paprika? It worked well. He decided to give the main course a try next. What meat was in there? He couldn't tell at a glance, especially with the burger closed, and he had less reason than the mayor to pry it open instead of just biting it.
He would not be known as a coward. He took a huge bite and began chewing the mix. The flavors exploded across his tongue, a confusing mess, but he quickly began to discern the individuals. There was some ketchup, a touch of garlic and onion. The slippery sensation of a pickle slice with its savory hint... But that meat. He tried to discern it, chewing it thoughtfully. Ah, seafood. It was clearly seafood. He felt silly for taking so long to figure it out. The other spices worked well with it, bringing out its flavor. He couldn't identify what fish, precisely, but it was some kind of fish.
Mayor Mare nodded softly, watching him. "It has the stallion's approval," she declared with all the enthusiasm as someone managing a point in a sport's event, without even a word from Laud. "Very good, very good." She looked to Paul, close as he was. "Does this appear to be a well-balanced meal?"
Paul waved a few fingers in the direction of the food. "It looks damned fine to me, Mayor. Only one thing."
"Mmm?"
"Didn't you say a dessert should be included? I don't see that."
"Over here!" Twilight waved at them from her oven. Wrapped in her magic was a purple cup that matched her mane. A spoon was lodged inside whatever was inside of it, only its top visible. She floated it over towards them. "It's chilled, so I kept that back until he was ready."
Lyra sagged against Bon Bon. "Twilight graduated top in her class for magic..."
"Focus, Lyra." Bon Bon pushed her plate away. "Done! How's yours coming along?"
Laud held out a hand to receive the cup that lowered into it gently. It was cold to the touch and sweet hints wafted from it.
Mayor Mare cleared her throat. "I will need to sample that, but go ahead, your potential wife-to-be has given it to you directly."
He took hold of the spoon and easily dug out the treat inside that was smooth and soft. It was ice cream with a rainbow of colors. Right in the center of it on the top was a sugared decoration of Twilight's cutie mark. He smiled a little. "That's cute," he admitted. He lowered it so Mayor Mare could see it before his eating likely damaged it.
"Very nice," she easily agreed, even as Paul laughed. "It would have been proper to use your mark, but, given the situation, this is the best that can be done. Go ahead, sample it."
Laud brought up the icecream, still cold, showing no signs of melting, but still soft. It was a cold splash across his tongue, but melted at just the right pace. The colors had different flavors, all of them good, and not battling with one another. It was a perfect little sweet note to end a meal on. He could find no fault in it. "This is good."
Mayor Mare reached up, taking the cup, but then hesitating. "If you wouldn't mind?"
It took Laud a split second to realize what she meant. That cup was chosen for human sensibilities. As an earth pony, Mayor Mare had no way to enjoy it without shoving her face into it and ruining what was left of it unless she ate all of it herself. He quickly grabbed the spoon and got her a portion, popping it into her snout.
"Mmm..." It was clear Mayor Mare also approved of the dessert. "Delightful... I had no idea Twilight knew how to make icecream. I'll have to bother her for some later." She surrendered the cup back to them. "Don't get full now, you have one more meal to help taste."
I like this. Twilight showing off mundane uses of magic is really cool.
This sentence could use some cleaning up. It's a bit awkward as it is now.
applied
Was't there a complaint of Starlight's over reliance on magic at one time. This is also clearly that.
This contest speaks better of Lyra and Bon Bon. Who can cook a good meal by hoof.
Plus, most of Laud's people have a distaste for magic. Laud will obviously have to entertain visiting dignitaries. Best to have wives that don't cleary over rely on magic like Twilight is here.
Plus it doesn't really count as making ice cream or a meal if you just magicly take a short cut to make it happen.
8944841
Entirely valid, but also outside the parameters set in the contest.
Cute.... and very much what a magic prodigy would account for.
What's that? Hungry? Why wait? We can use time magic, swap flavors, heat and freeze at will... oh, and if we don't have the right ingredients, just MAKE some.
College life would have been much easier with magic. >.<
8944859
Except it is still doubtful she even knows how to cook.
Remember how Starlight could make a delicious cake using the ingredients and magic. But she was worried that she couldn't do it the normal way and by hoof.
Twilight has shown no reliable cooking abilities on the show. The only two opinions we got are from Fluttershy, who is too polite, and Spike, who has been shown to eat anything and say it's good ('Not baked goods! Baked bads!).
So, what happens if she doesn't have access to her magic?
8944857
Except, what happens if she doesn't have access to her magic?
This shows that Lyra and Bon Bon are more capable of taking care of Laud, in any situation.
8944841
Twilight is a PRINCESS, so he won't be having twilight as a housewife, she will have duties to attend to, and she won't be cooking for Laud at all, perhaps in rare occasions, consider that she will not act as a wife, that is only for show and political purposes, so winning this contest with or without magic is irrelevant.
8944887
Thinking like that, makes this whole contest pointless then. What if, in those occasions she has to cook, she doesn't have access to her magic? Cause its already proven you don't need to know how to cook to magically create a delicious meal.
This whole contest is to proove the wife can take care of Laud in any situation. If you ignore that, then the competition means nothing.
This is kinda like the difference between a person having a text book to look up all the answers for an exam, and filling the answers in based on your own knowledge.
Plus magic is a very big taboo in Laud's culture. It very much is relevant.
8944875
Depends on how you define "cooking", is using magic to make everything still cooking or is it transmutation? Twilight has shown amazing skill at transmutation. She's created freaks of nature like the froange(frog orange)
8944892
In what condition would Twilight be deprived her magic that wouldn't also be a major disaster beyond who's making dinner?
8944898
Magical exhaustion from an experiment perhaps?
Anyways, I don't think the cooking is as important as Bon Bon and Lyra showing that they were canny enough to choose a battlefield in which they have a chance. That's the kind of thinking that Laud's wife will need to demonstrate. What's more important: your ability to roll with the punches, or to set things up so that you don't take them? Indeed, is it
"nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them"?
But I digress.
8944892
The contest is already pointless from the beginning, is based on an outdated law which should have been put out a long time ago but didn't, second, she mentioned that she prefers to take her time cooking, meaning that she woulnd't use magic for it, or if she couldn't, then any earth or pegasus woudl already be better at cooking than any unicorn, and no unicorn will ever win a challenge, third, even if all of that is not true, she is a PRINCESS with resourses, so she could easilly hire cooks for her castle, stallion, friends, dignataries, etc. so SHE as a mare, can provide whatever she wants for her stallion and friends with everything, so as you said, the contest is actually pointless, becasue twilight can provide with anything, the only disadvantage that she has, is that she is only one mare, while Bon Bon and Lyra are two, so at most she would lose on the bedroom, or tasks that requeries more than one mare, being unicorns or not.
Twilight instantly loses, by relying on her magic for everything. It's a big taboo, in Laud's culture, after all.
8945047
This entire contest is outrageous, in Laud's culture. I don't think his culture has much to do with old-timey Equestrian competitions. In the rules of Equestria, magic is allowed. Since it wasn't noted as not being allowed, disqualifying Twilight on that basis would be... pretty awful?
8944892
Sure...
But the same concern could be made, and argued much more realistically: what if Bon Bon were injured or Lyra lost access to her magic?
Twilight's the ELEMENT of magic, a veritable powerhouse, and smart enough to know when to grab take out.
Lyra is a minor nobel who's semi-hitched to a spy/candymaker.... oh... and under Celestia's employ. BOTH sides could have 'servants' cook for them... they just don't.
Both sides have a decent enough chance to cook, but if the only real issue is "what if Twilight loses her magic," then it's kind of moot. The much more realistic event would be Lyra already having hers gone. This is Ponyville. Ponies get hurt all the time, they just tend to get back up. Twilight's lost her magic once... to Tirek... when she TRADED it in after EVERY pony in Equestria had already lost theirs.
8944893
Wonder how those Frorange legs would taste? Citrusy? I'm sure there's a market for the Prench ponies at least.
8944875
<shrugs> At least in this story, it's explicitly stated she isn't Sweetiebelle.
Hm, in Laud's situation I would pretty much refuse to be handled like a prize without any right to say something in this archaic kind of thing.
Though he has a point, if Lyra truly wants him, she should have said something earlier and not until it is practically too late. In fact I have the feeling she does this battle partly only because BonBon and Starlight are forcing her hoof. She feels uncomfortable with that as it is. Or so I see Lyra's lackluster attitude, I mean she isn't tired to point out how Twilight already won so to speak because of her skills in magic. Whereas BonBon has to constantly remind her to not give up. And that as the one who doesn't give a damn about Laud.
If she truly would go for it with passion then Lyra wouldn't act like that and fight instead to the very end. She tosses the towel pretty fast.
Interesting that Twilight initiated with a language-barrier jab. Laud has shown no difficulty speaking and understanding, this was clearly for show.
Actually, her father pompous displays of magic are rather disappointing, if not unexpected. There's a reason hand-crafted artisan products are more sought after than TV dinners... Actually, who's to say she didn't merely have the meal prepared beforehand and just teleported it from storage? It's conceivable she read through the books and knew what challenges were to be issued, it would be a rather simple matter to prepare many things in advance...
Keep going! ;)
Given Twilights the Element of Magic, and in this is doing everything using magic, then all another House or Council backed call needs to do is discover how to create a magic nullifying system tied into the ships power systems, engines, and Twilight could likely break such a supression system through shere force, but breakingn a ship that size in close proximity to the planet could easily lead to loss of a sizable chunk of geography and population in consequence?
Currently Discord and Twilight are the Jokers. Mainly because noone dare let Pinkie run free. Or rather, they keep The Apple well secure.
In my mind, Mayor Mare is dressed up like Chairman Kaga.
This is simply absurdly cute. Gotta agree with Paul, there's something intrinsically pure about settling a noble marriage dispute by wifely chores. Whomever wins will be a net positive for pony and human kind.
Hope it's LyraBon though, his taste buds will never be the same after they're done
8944859
Oh let me just magic up a meal... wait why is the bed on fire, why does the hay taste like granite?
Not so easy when you don't know the exact specifics of the magic you are trying to use, also keep in mind that Twilight has had plenty of time to make mistakes during her years in Canterlot studying magic.
supposed
Obligatory:
8945597
Well, in my head Takeshi is closer to Fancypants
8945854
Sure, but those mess ups would still have made college life so much easier. Yes, the bed might be on fire, but at least we can grill! And yes, it might taste like granite, but at least no one will steal your study snack!
<smirks> But I think you mistook my comment. I am saying that Twilight pulling off decent/great cooking with magic makes a certain amount of sense. She's done the work, she's got the power reserves to fuel it, and she loves research. Besides, she knows Pinkie Pie now... there's simply no way she hasn't cooked with her at least a few times at this point.
And Spike had to learn to cook from someone, after all, I'm guessing it was not all Twilight Velvet.
I support Lyra and Bon Bon, If only because of the fact that I want Twilight to be free to choose her own beloved. That's all I ask.
8946118
I think we are forgetting the fact that Laud's people don't like magic. Lyra and Bon have a good chance BECAUSE Twilight is using so much magic. I'm seeing alot of Twilight bias in these comments. However you do make great points.
8946708
Oh, absolutely. There is the risk of using magic making them leery, but at the same time, Laud's people are forcing a marriage in the first place... to a natively magical (or psionic... whatever) people.
They might be adverse to magic, fear it or just remain uncomfortable and on edge — but I'm just talking about being able to 'provide'... and in this case, being able to manifest a pizza would have been awesome during college.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still rooting for Lyra and Bon Bon... but finding out Twilight can just whip something up, more than a mutant frog orange, is pretty nifty.
I still doubt Twilight has any chance against, say.... AJ's apples or Bon Bon's sweets... those are cutie mark talent related after all, but for a flashy start, she didn't pull any punches.
That last chapter was to short
8947581
It was 2k, like every other chapter.
8947591
Bassing a chapter off the word count can be helpful but in regards to chapter content, I think it can better to be based on subject. Even if you only focused on one event per chapter, hanging it off like this Is kinda to much suspense hanging. For about three chapters or so we have been waiting, and we cant even see the full out come of the cook off. It just feels like it ended to short.
Though I must admit your content is still fun to read. Just felt too short to the subject at hand.
8948269
I blame certain cooking animes, but that felt like exactly the right spot for a dramatic pause.
8948300
I think I will, lol. I have one playing in my head know.......
Well love the work.
if it was me i say make it a heard of 4.
8948770
4? Counting Laud I presume?
8948774
bon bon Lyra twilight and Laud.
8948300
Anime, schmanime. That's right where Gordon Ramsay would have had Masterchef cut to a commercial break--just in time to leave you wondering if the competition can measure up.
Cook off!!! Lol
While I've always loved Kitchen Stadium (and copied many a recipe from there)...
Blame anime, but the first thing I imagined for this was a hilarious magical Shokugeki (Food Wars in the dub), where Twilight is the deliciously overpowered chef, and that she'd prepare a meal with an "explosion of umami." And then, being Twilight, would be fully within her character to explain the details of her gastronomical experimentation. Just because ponies give you a delightful excuse for silliness.
Twilight's got those mad skills, though, even if she usually outsources everything-domestic to Spike.