Until that moment, the phrase “world came crashing down” was merely a phrase for Scootaloo. She’d had a hard life, but never had everything crumble around her all at once. Even when she ran away, she had a destination and a plan. But with Twilight standing in the mouth of the cave, taking in the sight of her surrounded by her few meager possessions, Scootaloo felt it viscerally as her world came crashing down around her. She tried to put on a brave smile. “Twilight! I was just… looking for my scooter! I left it here but now I found it. Lucky me huh?”
The firm stare on Twilight’s face told Scootaloo exactly what she thought of the obvious lie. “Where are your parents?”
“They had to stay in Manehattan for a few more days.”
Looking more closely, Scootaloo could see Twilight was breathing hard, and her mane was frazzled by wind and sweat. Twilight put a hoof up to her chest and spoke in an exaggeratedly calm tone. “OK, what hotel are they staying at?”
“I don’t know.”
Twilight’s voice colored with the authority of a pony who was not used to being denied. “Scootaloo, I need to talk to them. Where are they?”
Scootaloo’s heart pounded, her brain on fire. The having to start over, the hurt hoof, the sleep deprivation, the lying constantly to everypony, it all crashed against her psyche. And then, like a seawall battered by too many waves, she crumbled. “I don’t know! I never know where they are because I don’t even know who they are! OK?” she screamed.
Twilight stood there, stunned. Ever since the impromptu sleepover she had been pondering possible reasons for Scootaloo’s behavior. At worst, she had figured, Scootaloo’s parents neglected her. More likely Scootaloo was just rambunctious and in need of a little discipline. She’d never entertained the idea that Scootaloo was forced to fend for herself. “You’re an orphan?
“I live in the cellar of Quills and Sofas,” Scootaloo said quietly. “Or at least I used to,” she added, confirming Twilight’s suspicions.
“How?” It was the only word Twilight found herself capable of saying.
Scootaloo shrugged. “No one ever goes in there. And no one cares about one little filly hanging around town.”
“But how do you get food and clothes and—”
“I get by,” Scootaloo said tersely.
“What about your friends?”
“They don’t know. And you can’t tell them!” Scootaloo snapped.
Seeing a chance to earn some much needed goodwill, Twilight agreed. “I won’t, but you need to come with me.”
Without warning, Scootaloo bolted, forsaking her scooter, weaving around Twilight in a bid for the cave mouth. Twilight was too quick for her, though. She formed a shimmering strawberry bubble around Scootaloo, and lifted her a few inches off the ground. “Help!” she screamed. It hurt Twilight to hear the fear in Scootaloo’s voice, but she couldn’t permit the situation she’d just learned about to continue. Unworked gray stone popped out of view as she teleported, presently replaced with one of the castle’s guest rooms. It wasn’t quite the familiar setting Spike’s room or the library would have made, but Twilight hoped it would be close enough to put Scootaloo at ease.
“Please try to calm down Scootaloo. I’m not going to hurt you.” she said.
Scootaloo flailed for a few more seconds, then went limp when she saw there was no way out of the levitation spell. She stared at the floor, her lips clamped stubbornly shut.
“I’m going to let you go now, OK?” Twilight said, hoping to convince with the sincere compassion in her tone as much as with her words. Scootaloo nodded but didn’t make eye contact. Twilight gently set Scootaloo down on the floor. A moment later the bubble melted away. Scootaloo ran for the window, and again Twilight had to catch her in a spell. The room was forty feet up, and she’d never seen Scootaloo fly. “Scootaloo, please,” she pleaded.
She freed Scootaloo again, and again the filly ran, this time toward the door. Twilight held it shut with her magic, letting Scootaloo beat on it until she was exhausted. Finally she gave up and glared at Twilight, breathing heavily through her clenched teeth.
“I just want to talk, Scootaloo.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you! You foalnapped me!”
Twilight winced, because Scootaloo was right, both technically and colloquially. Her only excuse was that if nopony else would take responsibility for Scootaloo’s welfare, then it fell to her. Only she knew what was going on, and as a princess it was her job to fix it. How could any princess, any caring pony, not try and help a foal who needed it? “Are you OK? Just put everything on hold for a moment. I need to know if you’re hurt.”
“I’m fine.”
Twilight noted that she shied away from her left hoof when she said it, but she knew wouldn’t get anywhere until Scootaloo’s temper abated. She switched tactics. “Good. Can you wait here for a few minutes? I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
Scootaloo nodded, her expression unchanged, and Twilight slowly backed out of the room.
Twilight leaving her alone was exactly the opportunity Scootaloo was looking for. She waited until she was sure Twilight was a safe distance away, then darted back to the door. As she reached for the handle, however, her hoof was deflected by a flash of magenta light. Of course Twilight put a forcefield around the door.
Undeterred, Scootaloo moved back the window, but though the glass opened—inwards—her exit was blocked by another pink pane. With an angry shout, Scootaloo pounded her hoof against the magical barrier, but it remained indifferent to her efforts. Like in the cave she slumped to the floor, unable to think of any way to salvage the situation.
Ten minutes later, Twilight returned.
Scootaloo punched the ground, determined to show Twilight just how angry she was. “You locked me in here!”
Remorse flashed across Twilight’s face and Scootaloo almost felt guilty. “I’m sorry, Scootaloo. I couldn’t trust you not to run away.”
Scootaloo just glared at her.
“I brought you some daisies and an apple if you’re hungry. There’s also a cupcake if you’d like,” Twilight said, levitating a silver platter of food over to her.
But Scootaloo refused to be placated. “What are you doing Twilight? Can’t you just let me go?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not until you talk to me,” Twilight said, sitting down.
Scootaloo crossed her forelegs and turned her back. “I don’t want to talk,” she said. Hers was a stubbornness born of desperation. She couldn’t tell Twilight more than she already had, she couldn’t come up with a believable lie, and she hadn’t found a way to escape; that left stonewalling as her only viable option.
“It’s late,” Twilight said, as though Scootaloo’s silence was just a byproduct of the time. “There’s a shower and a nice comfy bed,” she said, then levitated a stack of books over to the room’s nightstand. “When I can’t sleep I like to read. I brought you some Daring Do and some really cool science books, and I don’t think Spike would mind if you looked at his comics.”
Scootaloo remained silent and Twilight continued. “There’s a crossword and a maze book if you don’t feel like reading. I also bought you some blank paper if you want to draw or just write down your feelings.”
“Let me go, Twilight!”
Twilight sighed. “We’ll try again in the morning.”
I can buy the heater. Magic is magic.
I was having some difficulty parsing Scootaloo's thought process, but I think I've got a handle on that.
I look forward to the next chapter.
The foal-napping didn't sit well with me, but honestly, what else could be done? There isn't much higher authority than a princess, and no one else in town would be as capable of keeping her both safe and in a place of relative comfort while also making sure she wouldn't try to run away.
Well, I think this is one of the few cases foalnapping would be justified. But if said foal has no home or parents, is it really foalnapping? That's the real deep question here.
At the same time, while Twilight obviously had the best intentions, I just finished up an arc where an old rich mare foalnaps Babs because she believes she can give her a better lifestyle...so there were some unintended vibes there. Less of the author's problem, and more of me reading the wrong sort of thing after finishing up a story arc!
this chapter feels a little... rough around the edges. I think the rapid perspective changes are part of it. I think this scene would be more effective from Scoot's perspective entirely- in fact, I'd argue that this entire story should be from Scoot's perspective, barring scenes she's not in that we still need to know about.
8081759
Yes. No matter how much it serves someone, you don't have a right to contain them. Now, if she were taking her to the police, that'd be one thing, but she's not. What Twilight is doing here is wrong, and not just because it's straining her relationship with Scootaloo and making it harder for her to actually help her.
Oh and also there are sick fucks out there who target homeless kids because they know noone will speak up for them. Pretty sure that's kidnapping(and also... other things).
Of course, I wanna know why the fuck Scootaloo was yelling for help. She KNOWS Twilight. Knows her well. there's no reason for her to be yelling for help unless it was a ploy to try and get Twilight to let her go.
8081769
Thanks for the clarification. I hadn't really thought about it from that perspective.
Still, I hope Twi's able to figure out a better, less forceful way to get to Scootaloo. Just stubbornly asking her and keeping her isn't going to do much, regardless of the morality of it all.
Well that is a peculiar way of writing this part, with the reactions.
Also, why is Scootaloo so determined to hide the truth?
I get the feeling that Scootaloo will be the biggest obstacle in this story. She really needs to get her leg looked at by a professional before it get anymore infected. At this point if I was Twilight I would knock out Scootaloo with a sleep spell do a quick check on her physical well being and contact Luna to check on her psychological health. She has bee told enough to have grave concerns.
Well, Twilight handled that as badly as one could expect. She may not have been able to make Scootaloo come happily, but she needed to at least come willingly.
Seriously, the bane of contrived drama is characters just talking.
It's really hard too put such a modern concept as social work into the mixed time period setting off MLP but from what little I know of the law around social work, Id day that twilights handling of the situation would be considered acceptable.
In a more modern setting she would be expected to take Scoots to a crisis center. That most likely a hospital or less preferably a police station. But the over riding rule is to transport the minor to a safe place. To bring a minor to your own home is normally against the rules, but has been known to happen and if a superior is contacted could be approved in a crisis.
Since as a princess she had no superior to call, she would not likely get in to trouble as long as she notifies relevant authorities as soon as possible.
Yah, I think Twilight may, in fact, have the authority to take Scoots into custody, at least until such a time as she has figured out what's going on and seen to it that the filly isn't in trouble.
Glad to see Scootaloo isn't won over too quickly, either!
8081812
Scootaloo is a fiercely independent filly. She doesn't want Twilight's help, or anypony's sympathy. Running away in the first place is evidence that she wanted to fend for herself. She knows Twilight would never let that continue.
Regardless, I certainly don't think foalnapping her was the best choice Twilight could make.
8081769
8081969
As much as I see your point, I think Twilight chose her best option in this case, for everypony involved. She really only had three options: take Scootaloo to her home, by force if necessary; keep her locked up in a dark cave out of town until the filly talks to her, which we've seen wouldn't happen for quite some time (tell me that sounds better when you say it out loud); or let her run off and go to her friends for help, which would likely end with half the town and everypony Scootaloo cares about hearing about her situation within the day, especially if they can't find her and need to ask for even more help. She can't just pretend this didn't happen, after all.
Also, I really don't think calling the police (or the Guard) on this would help simply because I don't think there is one in Ponyville in this story. If there was they would’ve found out about Scootaloo's situation way earlier considering how much trouble she gets herself into.
8082107
Yet she blames them for having family members to tell them words of comfort.
8082119 Frankly, that's exactly the conversation they should have had. Briefly lay out their options so that Scootaloo understands that going with Twilight willingly is the least worst choice she could make.
8081812 Simple. She ran away from an orphanage in Manehatten. Her friends are in Ponyville. Guess what she thinks/knows will happen if she tells the truth.
8081969 And how was Twilight going to do that? Scootaloo was giving her no other option. She tried to talk to the filly but Scoots kept trying to run and wasn't cooperating.
8082156
8081755
8081769 I should have just gone with the Twilight murders Scootaloo plot
8082183 Well, start by explaining why running away wouldn't help her, then go from there.
8082203 Only if she was going to use her soul for some dark ritual for some poorly defined reason.
I like this. It' different than the usual Scootaorphan fics.
8082207 You would have had to keep her still long enough to listen. As well as letting her calm down long enough so she will listen to reason. How could Twilight do all that without at least encasing her in something? Better a room with a warm bed than out in the woods.
8082210 my thought was its more of an academic pursuit. How can she know what killers feel if she hasn't tried it?
8082212 Thanks, that's one of my goals
8082218 Twilight had several opportunities to do so. True, not until Scootaloo was contained, but she did so so multiple times and never addressed it.
I didn't pick up on this one. Now the story is just ruined for me!
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Just kidding.
Dreadnought
Actually they can.
If the heating elements are not clean they can burn what ever is on them producing smoke and CO, improper electrical work may short out, again producing smoke or in the case of my former blow-heater, the part that tells it not to get to hot didn't work and something attached to the heating element melted.
Aha...a new Orphan Scootaloo fic... I don't mind giving it a try, and the more current timeline for this one (Princess Twi and all) makes for a few more interesting wrinkles. It really could go anywhere if Scootaloo is adopted by an Alicorn Princess. That's Daddy Warbucks plus politics, plus monster threats to Equestria, plus friendship lessons, and so on.... could be fun, and is off to a promising start wherever it may be going!
I'll be curious to see Spike's perspective (as he's essentially adopted himself) and if we hear from Cadance, whose canon backstory has her starting out as an orphaned Pegasus herself.
As for how Twilight has handled things, so far it seems reasonable to me. Yeah, it can be kidnapping if the author wants it to be, but Twilight has some authority (we've seen the guards answer to her), her castle likely is likely designated as an official building and not just her private home, Scootaloo has just been apprehended after breaking a law (trespassing, at least, for living under the quills and sofa), and may need medical attention, so I would expect that Twilight was safe with holding her until her legal guardian could be found or a more specific representative of the state could come collect her. She actually would likely be in more danger of breaking child endangerment laws if she just turned out a young child onto the streets alone In the middle of a cold winter's night.
8082235 Do you mean before when she was suspicious but had nothing concrete? Correct me if I wrong, but Scootaloo stayed away from Twilight after that until she was caught.
8082811 I'm referring to this chapter. Twilight had a three solid opportunities to talk Scootaloo down from running. Instead she decided to let the whole mess stew overnight.
I think the moment Twilight realized it was foalnapping, she should have carefully explained to Scootaloo why she can't let her go until she talks it out since Twilight is likely afraid for her safety and all. She could even argue it's against the law, maybe, to leave a foal by themselves when something like that comes up? I dunno.
8082843 Twilight tried to get Scootaloo to talk, but Scootaloo just kept trying to run away and when she realized she couldn't run, she clammed up. So how was Twilight going to talk to a very reluctant and stubborn Scootaloo?
8083050 They don't need to have a conversation. She just needs to tell Scootaloo what's going on and why she shouldn't run. Twilight doesn't need Scootaloo to say anything to do that.
8083073 Twilight could talk until she was blue in the face. It doesn't mean anything if Scootaloo refuses to listen, and that was obviously the case. So, wait until the morning when she is more likely to understand that if she wants out, she talks.
8083084 Scootaloo refused to talk, not to listen. Twilight just kept pushing for answers without any assurance, so Scootaloo didn't give her any. She's turned what should be a productive situation into an adversarial one.
And sending Scootaloo to bed a mess of anxiety and resentment probably won't leave her feeling very cooperative in the morning.
8083084 Indeed, and in the meantime contact Princess Luna in Canterlot and see if they can't get whatever passes for Child Services to start looking into the situation, seeing as Scootaloo admitted to being an orphan. Despite Scootaloo's apparent desire to be loved as a part of a family in some capacity, as shown by her thoughts in her segments, she also seems to be of the "Too Stubborn for her own Good" mentality, and will reject assurances that others care and only want to see the best for her if she thinks it might impinge on her sense of personal independence.
8083131 That's what I was going to get at next.
8083122 That's when Twilight plays dirty. Either she talks to her or she can talk to Child Services. If not, at the very least, tell her she can either talk to Twilight or talk to Rainbow Dash. Twilight is of the mindset that she needs answers so she can know how to help. The only reassurance she can give at the moment is some food and a warm place for the night.
8083150 So, come morning, lay out their options so that Scootaloo understands that going along with Twilight willingly is the least worst choice she could make?
And as far as assurances goes, she took a baby-step by agreeing not to tell Scootaloo's friends. More in that vein would have helped.
Electrically controlled gas heater. If it's not letting in enough oxygen to finish combustion then you get carbon monoxide.
A small bottle of propane or natural gas is cheap.
8082843 Whatever makes you think we've seen the last of tonight? Just because Twilight says so?
Twilight is a sworn princess, and the lead authority figure in the area.
She's the de facto foal protective services of Ponyville in a situation like this; and even if there is a FPS office in Ponyville, her authority certainly overrides it. This is protective custody.
Now to begin my experiments!
croak!
8081791
honestly, she should have just offered to let Scootallo stay at her place until her parents got home. She should have avoided conflict. She's shown herself to be very deft at navigating difficult subjects on occasion in the past, and she had ample opportunity to come up with her approach. She should have been subtle and offered things, instead of forcing her into it.
I put off reading this for a little while after chapter 2 as my PC died but I'm glad I caught up on my phone.
I really, really like how you're handling Scootaloo here. Poor filly just wants to get out and escape while Twi is doing her damn best to keep her safe.
Please keep up the great work.
8081969
Someone who is panicking, stubborn, and assured that they are right and you are wrong will not listen. There would not be any willing attempt to work with Twilight no matter what she said at this point.
8187855 From Chapter 8:
That's pretty much all that needed to be said, really. Open with that, let Scootaloo stew until it sinks in, then butter her up with food and healing before asking questions. Instead, Twilight does it completely backwards. Very in-character, but not very helpful.
8187877
Bad Idea! Nobody in Scootaloo's situation will trust someone that immediately threatens them with calling the authorities, and trust is a vital factor in finding out information. Twilight's method is reasonable enough, it just requires patience. She DID just imprison Scootaloo, so she just needs to gain her trust again, and if Scootaloo does not budge after awhile and Twilight has done everything to be nice to her, THEN those authorities are an option.
8083207
I agree with you on that. In this situation, what's needed most is to give patience and receive trust.
i kinda agree with scootaloo about the foulnapping but i understand why twilight is doing it