• Published 16th Feb 2017
  • 4,472 Views, 57 Comments

Kung Fu Dragon - CartoonNerd12



A parody to Kung Fu Panda as Spike is chosen as the Dragon Warrior.

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Chapter 1

Spike woke from his slumber to find himself in his room where posters of the Elements hang on his wall. His doll-uh, action figures of them sat on the window still. He got up and picked them up one-by-one in their voices.

Using the Fluttershy doll, "Good morning, Spike!" then uses Rainbow Dash, "Bet you had an awesome dream about us!" Pinkie, "Yup! He sure did!" Rarity, "It must have been about him saving me from those dreaded Diamond Dogs! My hero!" then he had the Applejack figure face the Rarity figure, "Hey! I saw him first!"

"He's mine!"

"Mine!"

But when seeing his neighbor in the window next to him giving him a funny look he blushed and nervously chuckled as the neighbor went on.

"Spike! What in the world are you doing up there?! I told you breakfast was ready!"

Spike quickly set his dolls down and yelled out, "Coming Dad!" he raced out of the room and went down to the kitchen where his draconequus of a father was sitting at table with paper in hand with a stack of pancakes in front. Spike took his seat and apologized.

"Sorry I'm late, Dad."

"Think nothing of it, my boy." Discord used his lion paw to pat the young dragon's head. "But we have to hurry, we have to open the shop in an hour. You know how fillies and colts love buying whoopee cushions and joy buzzers. Or any little prank they buy to their amusement."

Spike ate the pancakes as he thought about the joke shop he and his father owned in Canterlot. Spike grew up in the apartment attached to the store ever since he was a baby, ponies that he would meet him on the street saw him as a baby dragon but he was older then he appeared. Looking at his father, Discord, who he knew to be the spirit of chaos and disharmony, but his dad had been able to redeem himself by owning the joke shop making it one of Canterlot's funnest places. So it was a pretty good life for them but Spike felt a deeper calling in his heart. He had no idea why he had dreams of working with Equestria's greatest heroes but he felt he belonged there with them…


At Canterlot castle, Twilight Sparkle was reading a book in the library while her friends hid from her planning a sneak attack on her. Once they came out all at once, Twilight used a teleportation spell and they ended up in a crumbled pile.

Rainbow exclaimed, "Oh, come on, Twilight! That's cheating!"

Twilight lectured, "The enemy won't play fair either. You'll have to be quicker then that when dealing with a magical opponent or else-"

A guard rushed in, "Your Highness!"

Twilight addressed him with concern, "Yes?"

He saluted, "Princess Celestia wishes to see you."

Twilight didn't need to be told twice and ran out. She made it to her teacher's suite and bowed.

"You summoned me, Princess? Is anything wrong?"

Celestia shook her head in amusement, "Oh, Twilight, must you assume something is wrong just because I want to see my favorite pupil?"

"So… nothing is wrong?" Twilight asked with a hopeful smile.

Celestia slightly frowned, "Well… I didn't say that…" seeing Twilight's smile faltering. She sighed, "I had a vision… Trixie will return."

Twilight gasped as memories of a blue coat, silver haired unicorn with glowing red eyes controlled by a powerful amulet came to her… She shouted, "But that's impossible! She's in Tartarus! No one can escape from there!"

Celestia grimly said, "Nothing is impossible…"

Twilight called for a guard telling them they had to go to Tartarus to double the guard so Trixie would not escape. Not realizing Celestia was muttering under her breath, "One meets their destiny on the road they avoid to take…"

Twilight proclaimed, "We can't let Trixie come here! She'll try to take over again!"

Celestia pointed, "Which is why I had another vision, a much happier one…" she summoned a chest with her magic and opened it up.

Twilight gasped, "The Dragon Scroll…"

"It is time."

"But who? Who will be given such limitless power? To become the Dragon Warrior?" she asked with a frazzle look.

Celestia had a tiny smirk, "I have no idea, but I look forward to finding out." she closed the chest.


Spike was sighing heavily by the cash register, business had started to slow down with only a few lingering customers in the store. He noticed his dad was in his pony disguise while talking to a customer given that ponies wouldn't come into the shop if he showed his true form.

"Boring… this is boring…" he mumbled until suddenly he spotted a guard posting something on the front door. He went to it and gasped, "Oh, my gosh! Princess Celestia is choosing the Dragon Warrior! Today!"

The customers heard him and shouted out in excitement and stampeded out of there.

Discord gestured, "If I didn't have all those party favors to sell, I would be tick off by this…" he summoned a box and gave it to Spike, "Now, go on my boy, and sell like you never sell before!"

"Aw! But I was going to watch the choosing!"

"Well, you still can, you're just selling party favors while you're at it."

"Aren't you coming?"

"I will, in a bit. Now hurry, before someone beats you to it!"

Spike ran out of the shop and went toward the castle gates but was stopped by two pegasus guards with their wings blocking his path.

"Halt!" one said, "No unauthorized merchandise in the stadium."

"Aw, come on!" Spike moaned. He could leave the merchandise outside but he didn't want to disappoint his dad either. So he would just have to find another way in…


Celestia and Twilight were about to enter the royal box seats of the Canterlot stadium with Twilight saying to her former teacher.

"This is an exciting day, isn't it, Princess?"

"Indeed, Twilight. I never thought this day would come. And just so you know my faithful student, whoever I choose will not only bring peace to Equestria, but also… to you." with that said she took her seat, leaving a very confused Princess of Friendship to ponder what her teacher meant.

A guard called out, "Let the tournament begin!" as the masses cheered in their seats.

Twilight shook out of her trance and used a spell to amplify her voice, "Citizens of Canterlot! We have waited a thousand years for this day! As we try to make Equestria as peaceful as we can with the Elements of Harmony, we still need the Dragon Warrior to give us complete harmony!"

More cheers.

"So without further ado, I give you… Rainbow Dash! Pinkie Pie! Rarity! Fluttershy! And Applejack! The Elements of Harmony!" as she had said each name, the girls came out onto the field one by one giving their best pose.

"Now we shall have Rainbow Dash do her stunt flying tricks!"

Ponies cheered as Rainbow soaked in the praise to begin her routine. Meanwhile, Spike had heard the announcement and was desperate for a way in. He tried climbing the walls, that didn't work. He tried to throw a rope over the wall but that didn't work. It wasn't until he started making a slingshot from a nearby tree was when he started making progress.

Fluttershy had just finished conducting her bird choir when Twilight announced the last act. "And now, Applejack! Believe me, when I say you haven't seen anything yet!"

Spike grunted, "I know!" he moved the slingshot back and let it go sending him flying up.

At that moment Applejack was about to buck an apple to a target when Spike flew the side of the stadium before falling down again making Celestia sense his presence and she raised her hoof. A hush came over the crowd as they looked toward their princess.

She said to Twilight, "I sense the Dragon Warrior is among us."

She gave a smile before signaling to her friends causing them to line up.

"Citizens of Canterlot! Princess Celestia will now choose the Dragon Warrior!"

Spike heard that and panicked. "Oh, my gosh! What do I do?! What do I do?!"

Discord popped in then and stated, "Well, I suggest looking in the box." he rummaged through it before getting out a mini rocket.

"Dad?! But can't you use your powers to-" he was cut off when he found himself strap to a chair with little rockets.

"Listen, son, all morning I've been twitching and I don't understand it completely but this is your destiny!" he gestured to the stadium before snapping his fingers to lit the fuses.

"Huh?! What do you mean my destiny?!"

Discord smirked, "You shall soon see."

"But DAAAAAAAAAD!" he was lifted high into the air as the rockets made fireworks, causing the crowd to ooh.

Twilight gave a confused look as she thought, But the fireworks aren't suppose to be until after the choosing! But then she heard someone screaming and saw a small dragon falling from the sky. She quickly cast a spell to ease his fall as he landed on the ground with no more than a soft thud.

Applejack saw the dragon falling and Twilight casting her spell as the dragon landed right in front of her just as Princess Celestia was about to choose the Dragon Warrior.

Spike had his eyes covered with his claws he did not know he survived the fall. Am I dead? He thought before slowly releasing his claws and opened his eyes only to be met with another pair of eyes that was the same shade as his. Then backing away the eyes were attached to a face that shone in bright sunlight. Whoa… is she… an angel?

Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder and was met face-to-face with Princess Celestia herself! He gasped when he realized he was right in the middle of the choosing!

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was!"

Celestia was beaming, "How very interesting…"

Applejack motioned, "Um, Princess? Are you pointing to me?"

"Him." the alicorn stated.

"Who?" Spike asked wanting to see firsthand of who the Dragon Warrior was.

"You." she said to him.

Spike gaped, "Me?"

Celestia announced to the entire stadium, "The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!"

The crowd gasped so did the Elements and Twilight but a draconequus that was watching while hiding just smirked and thought, Who would have ever thought that the Dragon Warrior would be an actual dragon… And it's my boy who is! He shed a bit of liquid pride.

Author's Note:

Okay, the rest of the casting was easy but hard too. Celestia and Twilight as Oogway and Shifu were a given due to the student-teacher relationship and that their personalities to the Kung Fu characters meshed well. For Tai Lung and Mr. Ping it took some extra thought. Tai Lung's main character trait is arrogance and who better then Trixie who is just as conceited to play that part.

I know she's reformed now but I like the parallel of Tai Lung getting corrupted just as Trixie was corrupted by the Alicorn Amulet, it works on so many levels. Plus, there's those showdowns between Tai Lung and Shifu and Trixie and Twilight so that was a bonus. For Mr. Ping, it took me awhile to settle on Discord, at first I thought of Mr. Cake but it didn't seem right, I even thought of Zecora but none of these characters were eccentric enough and that's when it hit me.

Granted, Discord is not completely a pony, but at least some part of him is and he can transform into a pony whenever he wants! Keeping Spike to being the only one of his kind like Po was the only one of his kind for a very long time. Besides that just makes him feel more natural to be his surrogate father because he can relate to being alone in the world. Plus, while writing this chapter I realized how much of a hand that Mr. Ping had in Po's destiny, had he not taken in Po when he did… Wow. So I love the tidbit I wrote of Discord knowing that Spike had a greater purpose to fulfill and gave his adopted son the push he needed.

Oh, yes, the Tree of the Harmony doesn't exist in this Kung Fu Panda AU. The Elements of Harmony are more or less a stage name for the girls. Hence why it's been hard keeping peace in Equestria and why they need a Dragon Warrior.