Chapter 2
Rarity whispered to her fellow Elements, "I can't believe this is happening!" as confetti rain down and four guards had arrived with a carrier for the Dragon Warrior to sit in as the crowds cheered.
Rainbow uttered in disbelief, "I know! Did you not see how awesome I was?! How could the princess not choose me?!"
Pinkie pointed, "You know, it's kind-of funny, a dragon chosen as Dragon Warrior. Who knew that would be so literal?!"
Twilight flew down to Princess Celestia, "Princess! This must be some mistake! You were about to point to Applejack when the dragon interrupted! That was an accident!"
Celestia just smiled, "There are no accidents." then she flew off leaving the purple alicorn speechless.
Applejack was shocked that the dragon was chosen instead of her. He just came out of nowhere! But in that one moment when he looked straight into her eyes, something within her stirred, until that feeling was replaced by anger as Celestia chose him as the Dragon Warrior.
She went up to Twilight and took off her hat in shame, "Forgive us, Twilight, we have failed you."
Twilight gave a determined look, "No. If the dragon hasn't quit by morning then it is I who have failed you."
Deep within the depths of Tartarus, a cloaked figure was in chains as she was plotting her revenge. Guards surrounded her cage to make sure she did not escape.
Suddenly, a guard rushed in shouting, "We have to double the guard!"
The other guards muttered in uncertainty.
The guard stated, "By order of Princess Twilight Sparkle we have to double the guard."
"But why?" questioned a younger guard.
"She did not say only that the prisoner must not escape. Luckily, before I left I heard that the Dragon Warrior will finally be chosen."
Excitement ran through the ranks however when the prisoner heard that she was not happy, not one bit.
Spike was carried to the hallway where the stain glass windows were and was dropped off before his carriers left, closing the door behind them.
He called, "Wait! There must be some mistake! Everyone thinks I'm the Dragon Warrior!"
A voice said, "At least you're humble to admit it, I'll give you that."
He turned to see a purple alicorn giving him a stony face. He immediately bowed in respect.
"Princess Twilight!"
"At ease." she ordered. "I have a few a questions for you."
He looked up feeling uneasy.
"So… you are the legendary Dragon Warrior?"
"Um… I guess?"
"Well, I say you're not. Not until you have the Dragon Scroll in your hands."
"Then how…?"
"Do you get it? You don't. The Dragon Scroll is too powerful to be the hands of anyone less than worthy. I'm not just going to give away the secret to limitless power when we don't even know for sure if you really are the Dragon Warrior."
"But didn't Princess Celestia…"
"Yes, she chose you but given your sudden arrival it's possible that she was disrupted from choosing the real Dragon Warrior."
Spike frowned in disappointment, "Oh…"
"But we shall see if that was case. Now what is your name?"
"Spike."
"Spike? Alright, Spike, have you any experience in combat?"
He flinched, "Um… no."
Twilight raised her brow but continued on, "Have you ever faced a terrifying creature like a timberwolf or a chimera?"
"Only in my dreams." he nervously chuckled.
Twilight started getting concerned. At first when the dragon showed up and Celestia chose him, she wasn't sure she could trust him with the scroll. But now she started to see this dragon was just an innocent bystander and had no knowledge of protecting a kingdom. How could Celestia have chosen him with all his innocence? He's just going to get himself hurt! That did it, she had to make sure the dragon would quit now so he would be out of harm's way.
She gestured, "I see…" she started walking to the door, "I'll show you to your room."
He followed after her as he gawked to his surroundings of the castle. It was so big and huge. He had only seen the outside of it and it was even bigger on the inside! Twilight lead him down a hallway of open doors leading to the Elements' rooms.
Fluttershy was grooming her pets when she noticed them and gave tiny wave.
Rainbow Dash was reading a Daring Do book but when she caught a glance of Spike, she frowned and turned away.
Pinkie Pie was organizing her party supplies when she saw the dragon, giving him a bright smile and said, "Hi-ya!"
That made Spike smile since he first got here and the next sight made his heart pound and hearts floated around him. Rarity was priming herself in front of the mirror when she saw Twilight and the dragon. She slightly frowned at his obvious lovesick look toward her and gave a sigh.
Dragon Warrior or not, I can't see me getting together with him…
Twilight saw the look as well and thought, If he can get distracted by a pretty face then he definitely has no business being on a battlefield…
Finally they passed the last room where Applejack was stretching her hooves and glanced at the onlookers. She and Spike locked gazes and that strange fuzzy feeling came back.
Spike felt it too, as he placed a claw over his chest.
What is this warm bubbly sensation I'm feeling?
Twilight asked, "All right there, AJ?"
Applejack tipped her head, "Still a bit disappointed but I'll be fine. You?"
"I'm not upset as much now but I still have some concerns. I'm taking Spike to his room right now so he can settle himself in."
"Spike?"
He took that as his cue, "That's my name, don't wear it out." he slightly laughed hoping to lighten the mood.
Applejack wasn't sure if she should laugh but she gave the dragon, "A" for effort of trying to be humorous. But bitter disappointment still prevented her from getting too friendly with him.
Twilight opened the door to a large room and motioned for Spike to go in.
Spike was impressed of how this room was a lot bigger than his room in his dad's apartment. He tested out the bed and noticed how springy it was.
"We'll have dinner in two hours, please join us then and be on time. We keep a tight ship around here."
Spike gulped, "I understand."
"Good, we'll see you then." she closed the door behind her as she was met with five ponies with curious looks.
"Well? Is he the Dragon Warrior?" Rainbow asked with her arms crossed.
"I don't know. I asked him if he had any experience with combat or dealing with monstrous creatures but it turn out he's just an ordinary being."
Their eyes widen with AJ saying, "You're kidding, right?"
Twilight shook her head.
Fluttershy gasped, "He's going to get himself killed!"
Pinkie groaned, "Aw, and he seemed like a nice dragon too!"
Twilight gestured, "Not if we make sure he knows what he's getting himself into, then he'll realize he can't stay and leave, then Celestia will have to figure out who is the true Dragon Warrior is."
Applejack said, "Sounds like a plan."
The others agreed.
Spike sat on the bed as he still couldn't believe what happened today. He was actually chosen as the Dragon Warrior! It seemed so surreal given he had dreams of joining the Elements of Harmony in battle against the dark forces of Equestria. But now his dreams have been made a reality. As happy as he was a dread came over him, he had no idea how he was going to fight off a chimera, a diamond dog, a timberwolf, or any magical being that would threaten the harmony of Equestria!
Princess Twilight said he wouldn't be the Dragon Warrior until he was given the Dragon Scroll. Legend had it that it was full of unlimited power and if anyone less than worthy held it, would mean destruction upon Equestria. As intimidated was he about this new, exciting thing that has happened to him. He realized that he wanted to be worthy of the Dragon Scroll, to help save Equestria whenever it was in danger.
Dad said this was my destiny… I was chosen by Princess Celestia herself and she said I was the Dragon Warrior! I'm going to make Princess Twilight and the Elements of Harmony proud by proving my worth to get that scroll and become the Dragon Warrior!
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I fear how his first day of training is going to go compared to Po's.
All the buildings in Equestria have TARDIS physics.
7956252 well fire pit wont work on him
nit pick time!
*humble enough
*claws
*primping
there should be a space in here.
this sounds like AJ's thoughts, but the way it was written it looks like spike's.
okay, you're overall tighter in this chapter. more stuff sounds in-character, and this does feel different from the original. still missing the imagery though. they seem to be in celestia's castle, which feels a bit odd. I almost feel they should be in twilight's castle.
I also kind of missed the 'fanboying' scene. spike, I feel, would definitely fanboy over the Elements, and they should definitely have collected a few trophies over the years.
I think i'm going to rate your chapters now.
prologue: D
chapter 1: C-
chapter 2: C+
getting better, but you've got some ways to go.
Good so far, but I think, Discord and Spike, could have still went with the cooking angle instead of the joke shop. Will be hard to get around that in the later chapters with, Pinkie, there.