Escaping an outbreak

Four prisoners plans to ecsape the infamous alcamare prison. But their plans take a unexpected turn when an outbreak come thru. Now the four of them must survive this disaster and ecsape the island before it gets worse.

Based on the the Zombies map Mob of the Dead.

Chapters (3)

The plan · 7th Jan 2017 · 1,011 words
1,011
Download .txt
Download .html
Scrony's backstory · 11th Jan 2017 · 1,056 words
1,056
Download .txt
Download .html
A shocking expereance(no pun intended) · 21st Mar 2017 · 425 words
425
Download .txt
Download .html

Comments ( 10 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 10
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Dash32

Dash32 #1 · Jan 11th, 2017 · · · Scrony's backstory ·

Is this one of those–

Based on the the Zombies map Mob of the Dead.

Yep. Called it.

Darthdarius117

Darthdarius117 #2 · Jan 11th, 2017 · · · Scrony's backstory ·

7860177 yea I agree. No thanks.

Dash32

Dash32 #3 · Jan 12th, 2017 · · · Scrony's backstory ·

7860191 actually I kinda like Mob of the Dead.

Darthdarius117

Darthdarius117 #4 · Jan 12th, 2017 · · · Scrony's backstory ·

7860664 It's not that I don't like the map. It's basically that he's copying the story of it.

Dash32

Dash32 #5 · Jan 12th, 2017 · 1 · · Scrony's backstory ·

7860668 meh. That's his decision. I find it interesting if people make similar versions of difference things.

Comment posted by LionelCorp315 deleted Jan 12th, 2017

LionelCorp315

LionelCorp315 #7 · Jan 12th, 2017 · · · Scrony's backstory ·

7860676 why thank you.

Dash32

Dash32 #8 · Jan 12th, 2017 · · · Scrony's backstory ·

7862122

PhantomSage21098

PhantomSage21098 #9 · Jan 14th, 2017 · 1 · · The plan ·

Typo Report

Alcamare, located in san franciscolt bay, this maximum security prison holds th worst of the worst. Her four prisoners are planning their escape. Here is where are story begins. The four where planning this form months and right now they are sitting in the cafeteria eating dinner befor it's back to the cell block. On one side their is a Griffon who had green eyes and was wearing the standard uniform and a trench coat over it. Across the table was a zebra who had brown eyes and wearing again the same uniform as every pony else. Finaly, the leader, a unicorn stalion who is wearing black slacks and a white T-shirt. He had a blue coat, dark grey mane and aqua blue eyes.

1: Caps that name.

2: Add an e to that.

3: Change are to our.

4: Change form to for.

5: same as 2.

6: Change their to there.

7: That should be lower case.

8: Remove that one.

9: There are two L's.

10: same as 9.

"And we'll go through with it another fifty Griff if that's what it takes. At 9:30, lights out, guard begins his rounds," Explained the stallion.

11: And a comma.

12: Same as 11.

13: I remember playing Mob of the dead and Sal didn't say At when he was discussing the plan.

14: Change that to a period.

"Like he always does " stated the zebra

15: add a period.

16: same as 15.

"Exactly, stripes. 9:35, Scrony launches into a song and dance routine. Once The Weasel gets the keys, we move on to stage two." Clubs continued. "We then make our way to the warden's office and steal the key. We meet up on the roof where our supplys to build our plane." The gaurds will be no to us so we have to work fast. At around 10:00, if we build it on time, we launch our plan towards he Golden Gate Bridge. If we make it, we hijack a cart and drive away from the city so the cops can't catch us..."

17: Caps that.

18: Not sure about this one.

19: Make it more like this. "We make our way to the warden's office to steal the key and meet up on the roof with our supplies to build out plane."

20:switch around the a and u.

21: switch the letters.

22: add an e.

23: add a t.

...And we will be home free " Scrony finished. Club nodded.

24: that should be we'll.

25: add a period.

"Lets hope this plan of your's works "

26: remove quotation mark.

27: add a period.

That night, the gang put their plan into motion. Tuhe gaurd did his rounds at 9:30, just like always.
He walked passed Griff's jail cell, while making a cup of coffee, he walks up to the guard and begins a discussion.
28: remove the u.
29:switch around the a and u.
30: better get rid of that space between those sentences.
Firemane the bangs his police baton off his cell doors in an intimidating manner. "You know the rules, Handsome. No talking."
"Dammit, Scrony!" Shouted the guard.
31: You forgot to write how he got to his cell.
32: put the "Shouted the guard." after he told Cubs to shut it.
33: Put the sentence after Scrony speaks should be placed next to his.
Firemare walks into the cell, scuffling, fighting and stabbing can be heard from within, and the gaurd's dead body falls to the ground and Scrony exits his cell with a self-made knife and a set of keys. He proceeds to unlock the cell doors of his fellow inmates, Griff throws his cup away.
34: I thought his name was Firemane.
35: switch around a and u.
The 4 of them line up and begin to fire on the zombiefied Firemane. The zombie took a massive amount of damage before finally falling. The cell blocks then slowly transform into a horrifying, hellish depiction of Alcatraz prison.
36: I thought it was Aclomare.
A total of 36 typos you need to fix.

LionelCorp315

LionelCorp315 #10 · Jan 15th, 2017 · · · Scrony's backstory ·

7865904 Thank you.

Viewing 1 - 50 of 10
- Newest First
- Oldest First

LionelCorp315

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us

LionelCorp315

Also LikedSimilarAuthor

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us

Also Liked Similar Author