Changeling Holidays

by CrimsonCowboy

Vaccination Day

Vaccination Day
-----
Changelings, for the most part, merely steal and repurpose holidays of other species. Name Days are unique to their species, as ae a few other holidays. Most of the common celebrations, though, are either entirely copied or copied with slight modifications. Vaccination Day is not one of those.

Most of the data in the changeling archive is stolen from other cultures. There is, however, one area of research they have excelled in by themselves - biology. With a focus on medical science.

When there was the outset of a plague, a black death threatening Equestria, it was a disguised changeling that introduced antibiotics to the common knowledge.

When a fungal rot was making crops toxic, two competing changelings offered two different solutions - one, a direct fungicide, and the other, an insect breeding program that would produce more predators for the species that spread the fungus. Then there was a third changeling, that found that it could be processed with yet another fungus to make a safe and delicious brew.

Biology has been the one area changelings actively contributed to. Medical researchers revealed to be changelings throughout history are either on the forefront of research or of saving lives. A comment from Queen Chrysalis explains this, "We are a predatory species. It would not do well for us to get sick. It would not do well for you to get sick. Certainly, there is love doted upon on you when you are unwell. Inefficiently. You could be outside making love, not using it up. Get your flu shots, damn it."

So it was revealed the origin of the Equestrian holiday of Vaccination Day.

------

Oson closes her copy of 'A Modern History of the Changelings'. She and her friends were seated in the lobby of the hospital, along with dozens of others. Changelings dominate the population, but all of them seem to have dragged along a friend or two. More were constantly entering.

She states, "So, that's the point of this holiday. We don't want to get sick, and we don't want you to get sick. So, we made it a point to integrate it into all the infiltrated cultures, that you need to stay healthy."

Quantum rubs her right hoof. "I don't know if half the stuff we do qualifies as healthy. I don't think this bone I broke is ever going to be as strong as it was."

Oson nods. "That's why it's taking so long for us to get serviced. I scheduled a full checkup for all of us. Oh! Here are copies of your medical files." She hands file folders full of medical notes to Quantum, Java, and Tami.

Tami screws up her beak. "W...Why the fuck do you have these, Oson?"

Oson is looking over her own folder. "I do all the paperwork for the house. Whenever something comes in and someone" - she shoots a stern look at Java - "doesn't grab the mail first, I make notes. Your health is important to me!"

Quantum is nodding as she looks over her sheet. "Yup, this all makes sense. I don't mind too much, just as long as you keep these in your locked filing cabinet. Dang, this is interesting... Aw, damnit, I haven't had a tetanus booster since high school?! I need one of those with half the shit we do..."

Java is looking over his sheet. "Hmm. Elevated liver enzymes... Reduced platelet levels... Up to date on all my shots, though. Huh. Wonder what today's gonna bring."

Quantum looks at him. "Why are you good on your shots? It'd better not be a pun about drinking."

Java shrugs. "I worked at Dad's cafe for summers for, like, ever. You don't ever, ever, ever want to make a patron sick. So I kept up on that stuff, ya' know?"

Tami, meanwhile, is frowning. "Oson. You don't have me down for having any of my shots. I know I've gotten a fuckton of shots when I was a kid."

Oson reaches over and flips to the last page. "I've got all the avian shots listed here. But you need a few more if you want to be safe around equines. Some of the diseases that aren't that harmful to you could seriously harm a pony. Or vice versa... Or... um... me..."

Tami sighs. "OK. But... This is like a half dozen shots. My arm will be sore for a week."

Oson points out the 'B's next to some of the entries. "You need to come in for boosters for these ones in a few weeks."

"Fucking joy..."

Java smirks as his name is called. "At least we're not gonna get the flu this year! Thanks for organizing this, Oson!" She shoots him a smile as he walks into the offices.

The three converse idly as they await their own turns. Tami makes mention of certain diseases on the vaccination list, and is horrified by the descriptions that Oson, and on occasion Quantum, offer. "How the fuck did they even let me into this country without those vaccines?!"

Oson shrugs. "I think it was part of the treaty. I remember that back in the hive, we went over the history of vaccines. It was really easy to introduce them to the ponies, and the diamond dogs. The minotaurs were a bit stubborn, but after we solved cowpox they were adamant supporters. Griffons were, like, the only real hassle we had. Solving avian flu really helped, but it was difficult to get them on board with other immunizations."

Tami thinks back to her childhood. She gives a firm nod. "Yeah, we were stubborn assholes. Kinda still are, I guess."

"So, anyway, it was part of a few of the treaties that only life threatening diseases be vaccinated against for emigrating griffons."

Tami cocks her head. "Only life threatening? In what direction?"

"Both."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. That's kinda why the Gryphon Kingdom is known for being a bit less healthy than any other area. It's been improving lately - the hive sent a lot - like, most of - doctors to them. Changelings Without Borders has been doing a lot to help them."

Tami places her arms behind her head and sighs. "I never thought I was sheltered, but fuck me, this is so stupid. We've got these awful diseases, and we can solve them, and we don't... I'm starting to wonder if it wasn't just the failure of our space program that drove us into economic collapse..."

Oson nuzzles into Tami's side. "We can review some medical and economics reports afterwards, if you'd like."

Tami chuckles and moves to hug Oson. "Yeah, sure, why not. It'd be good practice to see research I don't normally do."

Their names are called together - they've made a note they wanted to be together for the examination and vaccination, and it had been previously approved.

------

They return to the lobby. Quantum is purchasing a generic antihistamine and a large bottle of aspirin from the pharmacist. She's wearing a new metal bracelet to help support her wounded hoof.

Java, meanwhile, is smirking. This gives the others pause. Tami scowls at him while rubbing her arm. "What did you do?"

He giggles. "They sell... They sell needles here! And I've got things I wanted to add some flavor to, but all the needles the grocery store sell are way too big! These ones are tiny! They're so small! It'll barely make a hole!"

Oson slaps her hoof against her head. "They sell those to people to reduce the spread of infectious diseases delivered by intravenous drugs. More needles, fewer shared needles, reduced spread."

Java smirks. "I intend to make a great spread with these. Let's hit up the market before we get home! We're so going to 'vaccinate' something delicious tonight! I wonder what a tomato to potato transplantation would be like..."

Quantum walks up to them, a small bag of the aforementioned drugs in her mouth, which she is placing into her saddle bags. "What's he mumbling about?"

Tami replies, "He's going to use some medical grade needles to inject flavor into, from what I can tell so far, a potato."

Quantum's eyebrows raise. "Huh! That sounds interesting."

Oson chuckles. "And you thought changelings were weird for repurposing ideas."

Author's Note:

Health Day is a holiday in some places. And you should really get your vaccines.

Your health is important to me! Because if you're unhealthy, you stand a chance of making me unhealthy. And that's just rude.

Comments

[CrimsonCowboy]

"Why are you guys so keen on vaccinations?"
"Ever hear of Cordyceps?"
"No, what's that?"
"It's a parasitic fungus that eats into an insect's brain and hijacks their nervous system to help it spread. Just like zombies, but without the dark magic and more skull bursting."
"Holy crap."
"Yeah. We kinda wiped it out with a vengeance. It was good practice."