Changeling Holidays

by CrimsonCowboy

Sportsball Week

Sportsball week

-----

"Well, this is a weird ass game." Tami frowns.

Oson nods. "Yeah. It's pretty weird. I really liked when battle-chess was the game. But this seems to be the most popular game this year."

"So." Quantum taps the table with the description for the game.

Oson nods. "So. We need someone to grab balls in a bucket. Someone to kick the balls super hard. And someone to shield our bucket from balls."

Tami shakes her head. "It's like dodgeball, but... stupider."

Oson pushes forward a printout. There's a statistical analysis on it. "It's the most popular sport this year. No one saw it coming, but here we are. So, you guys in?"

Quantum Shift nods yes. Tami nods yes. Java chugs a beer. "Um, dudes, I'm probably like the worst possible choice. If it's not a pinball table in front of me, I'm probably gonna fuck it up."

Tami nods. "Well, I guess you can just hold onto the riot shields and help serve the beers."

Java points at her. "Can do."

Oson taps her hoof against her chin and thinks aloud. "We could still form a team. We probably won't make it past the first round, but it'll be fun."

Quantum pushes a sheet of paper forward on the table. "I've weighed our relevant skills. I think this is the best distribution."

Oson looks at the paper. "This is certainly atypical... and you're assuming I'm going to wear those prototypes?"

Quantum smirks back at her. "Ya' scared? I've got another best distribution." She slides another sheet of paper over the table.

Oson shakes her head. "We can try it with the prototypes. But they might ban them after the first round, assuming they work right."

Quantum nods. "Then we switch to the other pattern. It'll be fun."

Java slurps his beer and belches. "I'll get some tea going. We've really should test that stuff out first."

-----

There is a hole in the wall of their house. Java slurps his beer. "Well. Guess it works."

Tami shakes her head. "We have got the most fucking tolerant landlord, but I'm pretty sure she's gonna get pissed off one of these days."

Oson also shakes her head. "I don't think we can go with this plan, Quantum."

Quantum already has a screwdriver and is adjusting the device on Oson's back. "We just need to dial it down a little."

Java peaks his head out of the hole in the wall. "Good thing we tested it on that angle, we only nicked some trees. Hey, we could install one of those neato circular windows right here!"

Oson quivers in fear. "Quanti, I really don't like this plan."

Quantum is juggling a ball between her hooves. "Nonsense. We can make this work. Catch!"

She tosses the ball. Oson reflexively reaches up to shield her face from the impact, causing her hooves to impact the ball. A combined chaos and harmony flux mix in front of the ball, causing it to shoot off - but at slightly less ridiculous velocities. Quantum leaps up and punches it out of the air. Tami leaps up and catches the ball in a bucket.

Java throws up his hooves, spilling his beer about the room. "You got this! You got this!"

Oson looks at her hooves and the devices attached to them. "I guess... I guess we do!"

-----

Sportsball week was a bit more compressed, now that changelings were spread across all of Equestria. It used to be that anyone not on an infiltration mission would be on a team back at the hive. Now, it's become more of a ameatuer sports enthusiast week for wherever they were. The most statistically popular sport was chosen, teams were made up from friends and family - including other species at this point - and over the course of a week would be eliminated across a singles elimination style of game play. Beer and candyfloss were typically available, and they would get consumed in progressively larger quantities as the week went on and more teams were removed from play.

This was also a test of the riot guard, to see how well they could deal with drunk disorder in the hive. Java Stout was sticking around with those lot with what remained of Oson's riot shields, as that was also where the kegs were. He was wearing a particularly garish costume - a mix of their university colors, rainbow pompoms, and replica changeling chitin plates. He was happy to be their team mascot.

There were a few other team mascots for this, the first round of trials. Most were a lot more detailed than Java's costume - one of them was nearly a full on dragon costume that shot lasers out of it's mouth - but that didn't matter so much. They were all having a good chuckle. And a few beers. The one in the dragon costume had a straw sticking through it's nose holes when it was taking a drink, as it's mouth part were filled with laser diodes. Java personally bought them a few drinks because he was just so impressed.

Their team actually did surprisingly well. Twefy 'fi Oson would shield her face or punch forward, ricocheting the ball something awful as it interacted with the devices on her forehooves. Quantum Shift would leap up and deliver amazing kicks and punches to the balls coming by. Her athletic stamina was amazing. And Tami Owlson, with her superior vision and aptitude for physics was able to successfully catch all of the balls in the basket she held.

They had made it to the third day before they were defeated by the Cheer Squad. They gave them a really nice send off, using their special form. The three of them joined Java and the rest of the mascots. This continued for the last two days, till the metaphorical damn broke.

It was a rare event that sportsball week ever reached a conclusion. The changelings cheer squad, a group of metallurgist changelings, a couple of ponies, and a surprise group of diamond dogs calling themselves "Fetch", had all reached the finals when the riot started.

Quantum and Tami were showing delightful skill with their riot shields, bashing forwards with devastating pushes. Oson and Java were serving as backup, keeping the crowd away from their backsides.

It was, in short, an excellent sportsball week.

Author's Note:

Changeling Cheer Squad was mentioned in a DERPA chapter - Much Ado About Something. I will return to this, because I asked a coworker what the most ridiculous sport he knew was when I was halfway done with this, and holy crap, did he deliver.