Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse (and Other Hearth's Warming Carols)

by Trick Question

Shipping Times

(sung to "Jingle Bells")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

Ohhhh......!

Dash with Fluttershy,
Or maybe Pinkie Pie,
Or tragic shipping fics,
That make you want to cry (boo hoo hoo)

Belle with Button Mash,
And Rarijack's not bad,
But Twilight dating Flash, you say?
I'll kick your flank, you cad!

Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, you can't make us stop
Every verse will get much worse and then we'll partner swap
Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, listen to our song
Unlike Sweetie Belle, we never learned that this was wrong

Twi and Shining? Sure!
Oh isn't incest sweet?
Lunestia is pure,
And MacJack such a treat

Poly pony piles
A Mane 6 orgy? Yes!
What fun is there in making sense?
Ship Discord with the rest

Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, limits aren't our thing
There's no guess for who'll be next in pony fiction fling
Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, crackships are the best
We pretend it's irony—but no, we're just repressed

Crackle/Derpy works
Tirek and Cheerilee
While changelings with their holes
Do things noone should see

Zecora with a chair
Sombra and Flurry Heart
Wait, have we gone too far this time?
No, this is just the start!

Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, what is wrong with us
Normal people cringe at horrors we freely discuss
Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, rapid fiction fame
I have found it's easiest when authors have no shame!

Comments

[dj-pon3fan]

I wil start singing this as soon as me and my sisters put up our tree.

[TIAS-A1927]

This is amazing

[bahatumay]

This song started out ok and then turned into a train wreck and actually that also describes many things on this site.

[Foxhelm]

Oh deary, Flashlight is your most prized ship.

[horizon]

I declare this one the best.

And I wish this collection had been written in time for the latest Writeoff round. This would not have strayed far from the top of my slate.

[Sunny]

This one is definitely the best so far.

[Quillamore]

This song itself is enough to fave this entire fic.

[Scyphi]

...Tirek and Cheerilee? I can't help but think someone was desperately looking for some new ship no one had done yet when they came up with that one.

Like I'd know, though. I tend to stay away from the shipping scene. I think this song sums up why nicely.

[wiccanminnesota]

wound up sinning this at work yeah bad idea to say the least. But the look that came over my boss'es face was just priceless. This was really bad yet really good at the same time.

[Quick Fix]

What, no love for PinkieBloom shipping?

Seriously though, this is among the most glorious pony songs I've ever heard.

[Misty Spell]

Sombra and Flurry Heart

Well that's certainly one way to get revenge for the whole blown up thing.

"Muahahaha I'll make your daughter love me! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

[sarahdash]

Tirek and Cheerlee

[sarahdash]

Sombra and Flurry heart thats one way to make cadence regret blowing sombra up
First I will date Flurry heart then I will eat every cystal in the empire

[ggg-2]

It's funny because it's true!

[Cursed Quill]

Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, you can't make us stop

seems to scan a syllable short. "cannot"?

[Trick Question]

7883144
It's accurate. There's a pause for the comma separations just like in the original: "jin gle all the way" "you can't make us stop". My singing at the top might help.

[MixMassBasher]

But Twilight dating Flash, you say?
I'll kick your flank, you cad!

Best line of this song ha!